You are vulnerable to outside voices tempting you to give in, but the best remedy for standing firm for the long haul is to remain in God’s Word, continually steeping yourself in his perspective and truth. When I speak about how the Bible should inform our sexuality, someone invariably comes up to me and says, “Thank you. I needed to hear that and be reminded of the real truth again.” We always need to be reminded of the truths of Scripture. But we also need the help and encouragement of others who will walk with us, shoulder our fears and burdens, and hear our pain and confusion—people who will always point us to the Savior and the truths of God’s Word.

The parents sitting before me had tears streaming down both their faces. Their 22-year-old daughter was now married to another woman. These Christian parents experienced understandable grief and heartache.
“It’s not just the pain over our daughter that’s so difficult—it’s the fact that grandparents and many of our friends have embraced it all. They all see us as the problem; we’re what’s wrong in the whole situation.” Though they believed that God’s Word was their guiding principle, they feared that they, too, might cave under the mounting pressure.
This couples’ fear is not unusual when facing these kinds of challenges. Siblings, grandparents, and friends of someone who identifies as LGBTQ+ or adopts LGBTQ+ theology all face similar trials when they are called to reflect both the truth and mercy of the gospel. How do we walk through this minefield, pursue humility in our own hearts, and yet remain firm in God’s Word? Here are a few things to consider.
Expect misunderstanding and persecution. Our culture’s man-centered theology is based on the heart’s desires, where there are no absolutes and everything is relative. When we take a contrary position, we become a threat and affront to others. Nowhere is this more evident today than in the debate about sexuality and the Bible. Believing that God speaks clearly and authoritatively about sex and sexuality is supposedly bigoted, unloving, and socially incorrect. You may be viewed as the problem or the enemy. Don’t let that shipwreck you! Expecting these responses and believing on Scripture’s reliability guards you from dismay when people react against your lack of approval or enthusiasm.
Engage and ask good questions. As others voice their disagreement with you, realize that all worldviews—how people see themselves, the world, and God—stem from past experiences, wounds, and powerful emotions wrapped around sinful and twisted hearts. While we cannot correct others’ views and convictions—which is the work of the Holy Spirit—we can try to better understand them by diving more into their story, who they are, and why they believe what they believe. This usually happens through genuine listening and asking good questions, which often helps people drop their defenses, leading to more productive, non-combative conversations.
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Theologically emotional abuse and physical abuse share the common, deep seriousness of abusing a person made in God’s image. Can we (biblically) draw a distinct line between the inner and outer man? Do human beings relate to God one way spiritually speaking and another way physically? No. A moral distinction between physical abuse as “bad” and emotional abuse as “not as bad” does not hold water with our own Reformed anthropology of body and soul.

Theological Traditions
In a world where three or four-year-old cell phones are relegated to the dustbin, it’s easy to forget we stand in a long stream of inherited theological traditions. Some of these traditions are specific, such as how the church uses words like “Trinity” and “one God in three persons” to describe Yahweh. That language has guided the church for a long time, and it’s a good and useful thing. Other traditions, such as particular styles of musical worship, are more elastic.
As counselors, we never approach a given problem as a blank slate. Our own experiences and past case history influence interpretation. But we don’t come to our formulation of doctrine as a blank slate either. We’ve been persuaded by the way we were taught Scripture and how it was presented. This can be a good thing—it’s how the church maintains a constant, faithful witness to the gospel. And it can be a bad thing, as in the atrocities committed in the name of faulty, sometimes culturally rather than biblically formed theology.
Body and Soul, Reasoning and Willing
Let’s turn our discussion about theological traditions to the issue of emotional abuse. Ask yourself this question: “When I hear the term ‘emotional abuse,’ does it sound more serious, less serious, or equal in seriousness to physical abuse?” Unfortunately, we in the contemporary church—and in biblical counseling—have overwhelmingly answered this question as “less serious.” The purpose of this article is to ask the question, “Why?”
Body and Soul
Most Christians are familiar with the concept of the human person being comprised of body and soul. The Second Helvetic Confession, penned in the early 1560s, explains this doctrine well:
We also affirm that man consists of two different substances in one person: an immortal soul which, when separate from the body, neither sleeps nor dies, and a mortal body which will nevertheless be raised up from the dead at the last judgment, in order that then the whole man, either in life or in death, abide forever.[1]
Every person is made of two “substances.” Our body is a “thing” occupying time and space; likewise, our soul is a “thing” occupying time and space. Although we cannot see or touch a soul, it is as much a created entity as the marrow, blood, and organs that comprise a physical body. Both the body and soul are essential to who we are. In other words, body and soul are “us.”
The Soul Has Different Functions
In addition to the human composition of body and soul, theologians recognize the soul has different “powers,” “functions,” or “faculties.”
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How often in your sermon—actually in the midst of your preaching—does your teaching drive you to simply, and vocally, offer up your own doxology? When we study for our sermons, when we pray for our sermons, when we prepare our sermons, when we deliver our sermons . . . we ought to be driven to praise the Lord.

When considering how to preach, we often think about certain words: faithfully, exegetically, expositionally, passionately, clearly. I’d like to take this post to encourage you to preach doxologically. Preach in a way that drives you and your listeners to unbridled worship.
Consider the example of Scripture.
Paul, after discussing the faithfulness of God in using Israel’s hardening to extend salvation to the Gentiles and in preserving a remnant of Jewish people, breaks forth with words of praise:
Oh the depth of the riches of both the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became his counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. (Rom 11:33–36)
Paul ends the entire epistle, this epic treatise on the gospel, with another doxology:
Now to Him who is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery which has been kept secret for long ages past, but now is manifested, and by the Scriptures of the prophets, according to the commandment of the eternal God, has been made known to all the nations, leading to obedience of faith; to the only wise God, through Jesus Christ, be the glory forever. Amen. (Rom 16:25–27)
Paul breaks out into doxological praise in teaching the Corinthians about God’s care for him in hardship (2 Cor 11:31). Many times he opens his epistles (his specific teaching to those local congregations) with doxologies (Rom 1:25; 2 Cor 1:3; Gal 1:4–5; Eph 1:3). He introduces his teaching to Timothy, a teaching directly addressing the form and function of the local church, with an explanation of the Lord’s work in salvation, which leads to lofty doxological praise: “Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen” (1 Tim 1:17).
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