First of all, I am here raising a completely hypothetical question. In over two decades of ministry, I have never had a person ask me that exact question. If someone had, I suppose my initial inclination would be to say, “Probably not, but it depends.”
Sadly, it has been reported that some ministers are interpreting the appendix of “Why I Preach from the Received Text” in a way that undermines my initial inclination and, I believe, misinterprets the actual advice offered therein. The charge has even been voiced that the advice is dangerous and decidedly divisive.
Leaving a local church is a monumental decision and always involves many different considerations. I, in fact, once wrote a ten-step procedure for how saints should make and execute so weighty a decision in a manner that honors the Lord. Apparently, and as previously stated, the advice I offered in the anthology is being interpreted differently.
The purpose of this article is to clarify the advice that was offered that none might misunderstand the intent. Could I have possibly been more clear? Undoubtedly. At the same time, could my critics also be more charitable in their interpretation? Probably.
Let us proceed to review the advice [indented] as I offer some brief commentary on my intent. *
The Advice​

As dads and husbands we cannot retrieve lost time, but if we are willing to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God and repent of any complacency (or outright laziness) we have had, He is faithful and just to cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 Peter 5:6, 1 John 1:9). His mercies are new every morning, and we can make a change starting right now. Let’s encourage men to open their Bibles, read, think, pray, rejoice, worship, and share what they’ve learned with their families. 

We live in a very complicated and busy modern world. Between church, work, home life, social media, vacations, keeping up with long-distance relationships with friends and family, extracurricular activities for our children, possible ministry, home and car maintenance (am I forgetting anything?), we also have the immense task of actually raising our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. As husbands and fathers, we also have the task of shepherding our families, including our wives.
Unfortunately, it seems that more men place those responsibilities down on the list next to home and car maintenance (a reminder that you still haven’t fixed that thing yet). We say to ourselves, “It’s not a dire issue right now, so I will get around to it eventually”. Life becomes busy, day in and day out, week by week, 6 months come and go, and the next thing you know, years have passed – you still haven’t fixed your back porch steps, and you never taught your college-bound son or daughter the Word of God.
During that time questions have gone unanswered, and they have looked to secular, or even heretical, resources for answers. Even your wife is now questioning what you once believed. Sin has slipped in through the back door and ravaged your home. How could this happen? You go to church, attend Sunday school, your children went to children’s church, but it was never brought home. I am willing to say that this situation is far more common than we believe and the solution, I believe, is a return of the Dad theologian.
“Really, Theology?”
First, what is theology? Theology is merely the study of God. It is not reserved only for academics or pastors, but for every Christian, and that includes you and me. You cannot love and serve someone you do not know. So in some sense, even with a basic knowledge of who Jesus is and what He has done, you are a theologian. As the late Dr. R.C. Sproul said, “The issue for Christians is not whether we are going to be theologians, but whether we are going to be good theologians or bad ones.”
Romans 12:1-3 exhorts us to not be conformed to the ways of the world, but transformed by the renewal of our minds, thus giving us sound thinking. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.
Christianity is often described as a “heart religion,” but make no mistake about it, it’s a thinking religion too. We seem to separate the mind from the heart when they are linked together. The mind is to control the heart, which by nature is deceitful and wicked (Jer. 17:9). What we know and think about God will affect the way we live. So before we attempt to save the sinking ship of the family, we must begin with sound thinking. We must renew our minds with the only source of unadulterated and pure truth, the Word of God.
Return of the Dad Theologian
So what do I mean by, “Dad Theologian”? To me, the name “father” feels too formal and detached from the family. I realize this is part of my upbringing, but each culture has its own endearments for the male head of house. So my point in using the word “Dad” is to show that this is not a detached male figure in the house or church, but a man who is involved, intentional, engaged, and loving. He is a man who both plays and works with his children. He is actively teaching and disciplining his children, and he is proactively loving and shepherding his wife.
The “theologian” part of the phrase refers to a dad who spends much time in prayer and the word of God.
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Paul’s restriction on women certainly elicited criticism then, just as it does today. So, as in nearly all other references to distinct male-female roles, Paul immediately supports his instruction with Scripture: “For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor” (1 Tim. 2:13–14). Paul anchors his instruction firmly in the Genesis account. Like Jesus, Paul takes his readers back to creation, back to Genesis, back to the first man and woman (Matt. 19:3–9). Paul does not appeal to local culture, the lack of women’s education, or the supposed problems of heretical female teachers. He simply appeals to God’s original, timeless creation design and mandate (Gen. 1:27–28).

Editor’s note: The following essay appears in the Fall 2023 issue of Eikon.
There are many books and articles on leadership. Too many. But few courageously address the issue of male only pastoral leadership and why it is necessary. The Bible teaches that the church’s elders are to be men, yet this foundational, biblical truth is relentlessly attacked and deemed totally irrelevant by most people.
In this brief article, I will focus on Paul’s instructions to his beloved church in Ephesus. Ephesus was one of the four major epicenters of early Christianity and where Paul labored in the gospel for nearly three years. What Paul writes to this believing community is Holy Scripture and essential to our theme of a male-only church eldership.
Male Leadership in Marriage and the Home
While in prison in Rome, Paul wrote his magisterial letter to the Ephesians. In this letter he makes this stunning and authoritative statement about husbands and wives in Christian marriage:
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Eph. 5:23–27)
“As Christ Is the Head”
Paul’s basis for the husband’s headship (leadership) is not first-century Greco-Roman culture. Instead, it is Christ and his church. This is the most compelling argument that male headship in Christian marriage is not cultural, but of divine origin: the husband is the head of the wife (and here is the analogy), “as Christ is the head of the church.”[1] Certainly, Christ’s headship over the church is not a relic of an ancient cultural patriarchy. Furthermore, Christian husbands are to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). One cannot love his wife as Christ loved the church and cruelly use and abuse her. Scripture speaks clearly here of loving, Christlike family leadership, not selfish narcissism. Thus the Christian husband leads, protects, and provides.
“As the Church Submits to Christ”
So too, the basis for the wife’s submission is not first-century Greco-Roman society. It is Christ and his church: “As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (v. 24). In Christian marriage, the wife represents the church that freely and willingly submits to Christ’s headship; the husband represents Christ, the self-giving, loving head of the church.
Thus headship-submission in the marriage relationship is not culturally conditioned. On the contrary, “it is part of the essence of marriage.”[2]
The Home Supports the Church and the Church Supports the Home
Since the family is the fundamental social unit and the man is the established family leader, we should expect that men would also be the leaders of the extended church family, “the household of God” (1 Tim. 3:15). The local church family should be a model of godly male headship from which individual families can learn how to follow God’s design for the family. Stephen B. Clark succinctly states the principle of male headship in the home and in the church:
If the men are supposed to be the heads of the family, they must also be the heads of the [church] community. The [church] community must be structured in a way that supports the pattern of the family, and the family must be structured in a way that supports the pattern of the [church] community.[3]
To this statement, Paul would say: “Amen.”
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