This week the blog is sponsored by The Good Book Company. This article is an excerpt from the new, updated, and expanded edition of Is God Anti-Gay? by Sam Allberry. This sensitive exploration of the Bible’s teaching on sexuality has been written to help both Christians and non-Christians struggling with the Bible’s teaching on this issue, whether they experience same-sex attraction themselves or not. Learn more about Sam’s book here.

Western culture has become dramatically more approving of same-sex relationships. In the space of just a decade or two, same-sex marriage, for example, has gone from being something that most people disapproved of (albeit mostly quietly) to something of which acceptance is seen as a litmus test for whether you are a morally good person.
Quality & Clarity
Key to our witness and credibility on this (or any) issue is the quality of our life together and the clarity of our message. We need to be clear on the gospel—clear that it is good news for everyone and that no one is too far gone to enjoy it or too complete to need it. We need to be clear not just that we are all sinners but that we are all sexual sinners. This is the point Jesus makes in Matthew 5 v 27-28:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
The claim here, as we’ve seen, is that we all have hearts that are naturally adulterous— that turn other people’s sexuality into something to be regarded lustfully. None of us are coming at this from any position of superiority. With that gospel clarity needs to come relational credibility. The New Testament often connects the effectiveness of our witness with the genuineness of our love for one another. Jesus once said:
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13 v 35)
Paul describes the church in the following way:
“God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. ” (1 Timothy 3 v 15)
A Strategy of Family
The church is the “pillar … of the truth” because it is the outlet of God’s truth into the world. It is God’s means of bringing his truth to all people. But it is also God’s family—his “household.” And for the church to be an effective pillar, it needs to be an effective family. The local gathering of God’s people is to embody the gospel in its own life. It is the church being church in all its biblical fullness that will most commend God’s ways to wider society. Jesus’ command that his followers “love one another” was not just an afterthought. It is a key part of his strategy to win a watching world.
Jesus promised that those with things to leave behind and give up for him will receive a hundredfold in return:
“ ‘Truly I tell you,’ Jesus replied, ‘no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions— and in the age to come eternal life.’” (Mark 10 v 29-30)
Jesus is Always Worth It
The gospel can be relationally costly. But it is also relationally generous. What we leave behind does not compare with what we receive back from Jesus. It is hard to miss the fact that Jesus is talking about family— close family. He doesn’t promise distant cousins and great-uncles, but brothers and mothers and children. All that we have we are to share with one another: time, resources, affection—in other words, ourselves. This, it turns out, is going to be the demonstration, in this life, that Jesus is always worth it. It will be the quality of our community life as church, as much as our ability to speak clearly into the public square, that will most visibly show a watching world that the Christian stance on sexuality is compelling.
Jesus’ words give us all something to do. We might not have the best celebrities, the most talented spokespeople, the most impressive resources, or the most acclaimed thinkers, but in the church we should have the most wonderful and attractive relationships.

I once read of a pastor who made the commitment to spend several days out of every month with his parishioners at their workplaces. He made it his habit to arrange visits to their factories and offices, their stores and schools. He had a specific purpose in mind and one he believed would make him a more effective pastor: He wanted to understand their day-to-day lives so that in his preaching and counseling he could make application that would speak to their circumstances. He acknowledged that the life of a pastor is very different from the life of a student, a laborer, a CEO, or a store clerk. He acknowledged that unless he was aware of how their lives differed from his own, he could easily assume too much and understand too little.

This pastor discerned that one of the challenges of being a pastor—and particularly one who is paid to minister on a full-time basis—is to continue to have a realistic assessment of how the world works “out there.” It’s to acknowledge that much of what troubles an employee in the workforce does not trouble a pastor in his church (and vice versa). It’s to acknowledge that many of the factors that may enhance a pastor’s reputation may diminish a non-pastor’s (and, again, vice versa). The very things that can gain acclaim for a pastor and even fill the pews of his church may gain a warning for a non-pastor and even get him fired. (This is very much on my mind because, as a full-time writer who pastors on a part-time basis, I am also largely outside the workaday world and, therefore, in a similar position to this pastor.)
One of the women who attends his church works in an office setting. She is told she needs to take a course that will address matters of diversity, equity, and inclusion. At the end she is expected to write a pledge that will address her responsibility for the past marginalization and future empowerment of “sexual minorities.” What is she supposed to do in the face of this mandatory exercise? What counsel has she received from the pastor’s teaching and preaching ministry that can guide her right here and right now?
One of the teens in that congregation—a young woman who was brought to the church by a friend and who has just recently professed faith—has a part-time job at a restaurant. As she walks through the doors one morning her supervisor presses a rainbow bracelet into her hand. All around her the other service staff have slipped those bracelets onto their wrists. What is she to do? What guidance has the pastor provided that will meet her in this moment?
One of the men is a department manager at a nearby grocery story. He is handed a new shirt with his name on it and a place to write his pronouns beneath. Does he do it? One of the young women works in an office setting in which the entire department has been invited to a wedding shower for a same-sex couple. Does she attend? One of the men is a high school coach and is being told that he must welcome biologically male students onto the girls’ team and treat them as if they are female. What does he do?
All of these situations are happening today. They are happening in my church and, I rather suspect, in yours as well. Yet most of these situations are ones that pastors are sheltered from by the nature of their vocation. So many of the pressures of the modern workplace are absent in the church office. And even if a pastor did find himself in a similar situation, his refusal to participate would not jeopardize his position or diminish his reputation in his place of work. To the contrary, the congregation would actually honor him for his stance. People who heard what he did might actually begin to come to his church because of it.
So what is a pastor to do?
Mostly, I think pastors have to be aware—aware that their lives may be very different from those of many of their church members and aware that their instinctual response to a situation may reflect the security of their position, not the jeopardy of another person’s.
I also think pastors could take a cue from their colleague I mentioned earlier and do what they can to understand the current environment. This may mean they make regular visits to workplaces or it may mean they just spend time with people to hear what challenges they face. Either way, that kind of information will helpfully equip them.
And then pastors can speak about these situations with care and precision, admitting complexity rather than assuming the solution is always straightforward. The pastor can make sure he’s considered the social cost to a 16-year-old girl who won’t slip that bracelet over her wrist, the financial cost to the man who may get fired for declining to use the pronoun “she” to describe a man.
None of these factors will necessarily change the counsel, and neither should they. Right is right and wrong is wrong regardless of the context and regardless of the cost. We are not relativists. Yet though these factors may not change the counsel, they may shape it or condition the way it is delivered. The pastor’s greater knowledge will allow him to think more carefully, to pray more earnestly, to search the Scripture more exhaustively, and to empathize more truly. It will keep him from inadvertently assuming that his situation is normative rather than exceptional.
We have arrived at a cultural moment in which Christians often need extra counsel and encouragement as they navigate new realities and tough complexities. We have arrived at a moment in which simply living according to Christian principles in the workplace and simply speaking biological truth may exact a substantial cost. I’ve often heard it said that the easiest thing in the world is to spend other people’s money. But it’s just as easy to give people counsel that may cost them dearly but cost you nothing. I know I can be prone to this and suspect other pastors can as well. Hence, my encouragement to myself to others is to do our absolute utmost to count the cost—to count the cost for the people we love, the people we are called to serve, the people we are called to teach and guide.

There are some more Kindle deals to browse through today, for those who are interested in such things.

(Yesterday on the blog: Approaching the Tomb with Joy)
Go to Funerals
It’s good advice, this. “Let me encourage you to something: consider attending every funeral that occurs in your church’s life. And if you are a pastor, disciple your members to attend funerals.”
The Art of Heavenly-Mindedness
“‏Earthly-mindedness is to the mind what gravity is to the body—it is an invisible, powerful, and constant force that weighs so heavily upon the individual that without a greater force acting against it, he is powerless to break free from its controlling influence. Even the stoutest Christians know this to be the case.”
Sexual Behavior Isn’t the Most Important Issue
“The most common question I’m asked during a Q&A session on sexuality goes something like this: My friend is transgender (or bisexual, gay, etc.), and I want to know what I can tell her to make her reconsider. I’m sympathetic to this question, and I understand why they are asking.” Yet…
Should Pro-Lifers Embrace Embryo Adoption?
Should those who are pro-life consider adopting embryos? John Piper takes on a tricky question here.
Woe to the Pretenders of Godliness
“Some teachers of the truth should be listened to but not imitated.” That’s an interesting thought and Doug Eaton teases it out in this article.
‘See! The Lord has given you the…’
“The title of this post is the beginning of a verse from the Bible. How do you think it continues? What word would you guess comes next? We’ll see in a minute if you’re right or not!” You don’t need to be a strict sabbatarian to benefit from reading this one (though I suppose it may help).
Flashback: It’s Time To Break Free From the Algorithm-Driven Life
To allow them to judge what we’ll find interesting and informative is to cede to them the authority to withhold from us what they determine is inappropriate or offensive. It’s time to face how much we stand to lose by living the algorithm-driven life.

There is no place where you may flee from God angry but to God reconciled. There is no place at all whither you may flee. Will you flee from Him? Flee unto Him. —Herman Bavinck