Every one of us has become familiar with the pattern. Every one of us has seen church members becoming dissatisfied and then disgruntled, missing church occasionally and then consistently. Every one of us has seen the pattern and begun to dread the nearly-inevitable conclusion. This is especially discouraging when the reason for the departure is not an area of essential theological disagreement but something much more common and much less important—hurt feelings, petty squabbles, matters of preference.

This pattern is so common that we should all assume we ourselves may at some time fall into it. This being the case, what should you do when you begin feeling discontent at your church? What should you do when you feel that yearning to pick up and move on? What should you do when you find yourself eager to slip out of one church and into another? I’d like to offer just a few suggestions that I hope you’ll consider and put into practice.
Pray through the directory. Find yourself a copy of the church directory and commit to praying through the entire thing at least once. Pray for each person or each family by name. Pray what the Bible models and pray what the Spirit prompts. Prayer is one of our core responsibilities toward one another and has a way of stirring up our affections. As you pray for those people may it remind you that you’re not just walking away from a club or institution, but from a community—a family, even.
Commit to serving. The temptation when disgruntled is always to stop serving—to remove yourself from whatever ministries you’ve been involved with. Before you leave, recommit to serving others for a period of time—several months at least. Love tends to grow cold when we stop loving others and it tends to be rekindled when we start loving again. Plus, it’s as we serve that the Lord reminds us that he has gifted us specifically so we can use his gifts to bless our fellow Christians.
(Parenthetically, it is almost universally true that when people leave churches for reasons that are poor or inadequate, they have stopped praying for their fellow church members and have stopped serving them. Rarely do people leave when they are constant in prayer and diligent in service.)
Remember the good, not just the bad. In times when we are hurt or discouraged we usually find ourselves fixating on what others have done wrong, not what they have done right. So as you consider leaving, force yourself to remember not only the church’s failings, but also its blessings. Remember not only the bad times, but also the good, not only the times it fell short, but also the times it rallied to the cause. Remember all the times it blessed you, expressed kindness to you, and supported you. You may find this side of the scale by far outweighs the other.
Think it through. There may be many good reasons to leave one church for another, but there are certainly many bad ones. The worst reason of all is allowing unidentified or unrepentant sin to be the determining factor. Hence, before you leave any church, think carefully about whether sin or sanctification is leading the way—whether you feel the need to leave because you have grown in holiness or because you have diminished in holiness. Too many people allow sin, not the Spirit, to lead them out the door.
Pray it through. The only way to adequately think it through is to pray it through. You need to labor in prayer to become convinced that your departure is consistent with God’s will. Pray for God to expose your heart, to guide your feelings, to make your motives clear. Pray that your deepest desire would be to honor and glorify him, whether that means leaving or staying.
Talk it through. It is possible that the church is in error, but it’s also possible that you are in error. It is possible there is a sore problem with the church’s leadership, but it is also possible that there is a sore problem with your sanctification. Have the character and honesty to ask someone, “Am I making a wise decision?” And make sure that individual is the type who will challenge you if you need to be challenged. Don’t leave if trustworthy men and women are telling you to stay.
The fact is that in a consumeristic culture like this one—a culture in which the customer is always right—too many people leave too many churches too easily. It’s unlikely that any of us is above the temptation to depart for poor reasons and to leave behind us a trail of hurt and confusion. So before you make that decision, pray for the people of the church and diligently serve them. Ask God for wisdom and ask others for guidance. And then, only then, leave with confidence that your departure is God’s will. As you do so, you will have honored God, served others, and modeled how to leave a church well.

The Lord be with you and bless you today.

Why Bros Failed at the Box Office
Carl Trueman has some thoughts about why the gay rom-com Bros failed at the box office. His analysis is well worth reading, but I would want to add this: I think there’s no significant audience for it. Men don’t generally want to watch rom-coms and women don’t have any great interest in one grounded in a homosexual relationship (and displaying homosexual sex scenes). Hence, they made a film that, by definition, has low appeal and their marketing ploy of “see this or you’re a bigot” wasn’t attractive to anyone.
Praying in Public
Lisa LaGeorge offers some helpful counsel on praying in public (and a reminder of what we demonstrate to others when we do so).
Getting America’s Most Famous (Or Infamous) Sermon Right
“In the Summer of 1741, Jonathan Edwards preached Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God—the most famous or infamous sermon to land on what would soon be American soil.” Travis Hearne focuses on an aspect of this sermon that most accounts have neglected.
2022 Wildlife Photographer of the Year
There are some stunning photos of nature in this gallery. The “bee ball” is the overall winner, and for good reason.
The Need for Roots
Andrew Wilson: “A few years ago I noticed how many of my favourite authors were writing during or immediately after World War II. It had not occurred to me before, and I wondered why it might be the case.” This leads to a reflection on the modern day.
A Word About the ‘Spark’ In Marriage
Lauren Washer says “a marriage that lasts requires more than a sexy flame.” In other words, that “spark” must be more than sexual desire, important though that may be.
Flashback: A Master at Identifying Sin
I am a master at identifying sin. I might be tempted to brag about that fact, except for this: While I’m a master at identifying the sin in other people, I’m a mere novice at identifying the sin in myself.

God kills thy comforts from no other design but to kill thy corruptions; wants are ordained to kill wantonness, poverty is appointed to kill pride, reproaches are permitted to destroy ambition. —John Flavel

Westminster Books is offering deep discounts on a whole collection of new books that they deem especially noteworthy. There are some very good picks there.
I added some new Kindle deals yesterday and will hope to do so again today.

Jon Nielson has quite a helpful description of demons and how Christians ought to think about them.

Trevin explains how there is a huge and irreconcilable contradiction in the various transgender theories.

Stephen McAlpine wants pastors to stop “bagging out” the average church member. “With the right gospel vision, the right training and framework, the right encouragement, and the right recognition of what the average church member’s life is already like, the average church member is more than willing to be part of the mission of the church. The key is to take their lives and experiences seriously as the first step.”

Like myself, T.M. Suffield is color blind. He uses this fact to spark a moving reflection.

Patsy Kuipers writes about “the sad relief,” which she considers “an apt description of the blend of sorrow and joy known to Christians because we’re able to grieve with hope”
Alistair Begg and the Loving Thing
I’m sure by now you’ve heard about Alistair Begg’s recent comments about attending a wedding that involves a homosexual/transgendered person—comments that were made as he discussed his book The Christian Manifesto. You can find his original comment here and his more detailed explanation here. Among the blogs I follow, I have seen just a couple of responses: Anne Kennedy has some thoughts on it in Alistair Begg and the Loving Thing while Stephen Kneale takes a somewhat similar view but focuses a bit more on whether this is always an issue of biblical fidelity or whether it at times falls into the category of wisdom. I see a number of distinct issues that I may comment on in the future. Among them: The issue itself (Is it always sinful for a Christian to attend such a ceremony?); the implication of someone holding the opposite view (How do we relate to people who hold a different conviction?); and the way this whole conversation has taken place (Is there a McLuhan/Postman sense in which the medium is the message?). There is a lot to think about and I am praying the church is strengthened through it.

Many of my best memories are of events that happened one time or perhaps a few times. But my favorite of all is an event that happened day after day and year after year. 

Make Christ your music and your song; for complaining and feeling of want does often swallow up your praises. Borrow joy and comfort from the Comforter.
—Samuel Rutherford