A Not So Secret Ingredient for Marriage

A Not So Secret Ingredient for Marriage

Pride has been called the origin of all sins. If that is so, humility is the answer for all sins. It begins with humility before God and leads to humility before others in our relationships. And the surprising fruit is the grace He gives as He blesses a marriage. 

Anniversary While in Quarantine

Jennifer and I are three days away from finishing our 14-day quarantine in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. We have returned to the field amidst the COVID-19 epidemic. Today marks our 25th wedding anniversary, so we celebrate stuck in a hotel under heavy restrictions. Don’t worry—we often celebrate at a later time when circumstances crunch The Day. But being stuck has allowed time for musing, reflecting on what grace has brought us through twenty-five years, still so grateful to be sharing life together.

I have been married to Jennifer for more than half of my life now, two years more to be exact. It is hard to imagine life without her. If the Lord were to take her home before me, it would be extremely difficult.  We have learned so much about helping each other in daily joys and trials that our lives are now interconnected in a thousand ways.

But no marriage is perfect. That is impossible because each of us are sinners. Being in Christ and having God’s Word, His Spirit, and His Church should make a tremendous difference in our lives and marriages. But even if both husband and wife are godly believers growing and changing, there will still be conflict and difficulties at times. We may be saved sinners being sanctified, but we are sinners still.

Why the Conflict?

Why is it that some Christian homes with both husband and wife genuinely born-again believers still have poor marriages? Why does conflict and strife still dominate many Christian homes? How could it possibly be that Christians could defy God’s will for marriage and get divorced?

If we were to try to explain the difference between a godly Christian marriage and a failing or failed Christian marriage, what would that difference be? If we tried to “boil it down” to the most basic difference between them, what would that basic difference be?

What Saith the Scriptures?

The Scriptures don’t give us a statement that says, “The golden key to success in marriage is this one word or principle”. We do have lots of statements about marriage to draw on, however:

  • Believers are to leave their parents and cleave to one another as the most important person in life, to become “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
  • We are to view our marriage commitment as a covenant made in the eyes of God, one that He takes very seriously. God hates divorce (Mal. 2:13-16)!

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