Anthony Kidd

Pastor Your Own Heart First

The gospel of Jesus we preach to others is first and foremost for us. Treasure it by treasuring him. Fuel your passion for ministry by filling your soul with gospel grace. It would be the ultimate tragedy to come to the end of your ministry only to realize that you had labored in vain because you had not mined the depths of the riches of Christ and his grace toward you.

Take heed to yourselves, lest you be void of that saving grace of God which you offer to others.
I entered seminary as a naive and idealistic young man with grand designs and enormous hopes about future pastoral ministry. Between proper training and my passionate heart, nothing would stand in the way of me reaching souls for Christ — or so I thought.
I eagerly devoured every book assigned. Whether out of uncritical focus or predetermined agreement, everything I read affirmed that I was thinking correctly about what it took to succeed in ministry. I knew I was getting all I needed to be a great pastor.
Then I met Richard Baxter.
Of course, I mean the Richard Baxter who ministered in Kidderminster, England, from 1647 to 1661. That’s the power of words and sentences — you can actually meet and learn from someone who has long since died. And make no mistake: although dead, he still spoke to me and challenged me in a way that fundamentally altered my ministry.
Neglecting the Christ We Preach
I remember sitting in my seminary library, eager to dive into Baxter’s book The Reformed Pastor. All my classmates raved about it. I opened to the first chapter anticipating confirmatory words that would strengthen how I thought about ministry. To my surprise, I was stopped dead in my reading tracks.
Take heed to yourselves, lest you be void of that saving grace of God which you offer to others, and be strangers to the effectual working of that gospel which you preach; and lest, while you proclaim to the world the necessity of a Savior, your own hearts should neglect him, and you should miss of an interest in him and his saving benefits. (17)
Baxter’s words landed on me like a ton of bricks, and my heart was pierced with conviction. No one had ever challenged me to search my own heart for the very grace that I was so passionate to offer others. For the first time, I had been warned to “take heed” to my own heart for fear that I might miss out on “the effectual working of the gospel.”
Covering Dullness with Ministry
As I pored over Baxter’s words, it became clear to me that it was my own sanctification that was being challenged. I was still confident I was saved through faith, but I had assumed that my desire to preach the living waters of Christ meant that I had been drinking deeply from his well. The line “Take heed . . . lest you . . . be strangers to the effectual working of that gospel which you preach” splashed upon my soul like a bucket of cold water, waking me out of the state of spiritual slumber in which I had lived and studied.
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