Church planting is one-half asking people for favors and one-half asking for money. I exaggerate, but not by much. Church planters are needy.

By God’s grace, Trinity Baptist Church of Chapel Hill, North Carolina, recently covenanted as a church. We’re up and running but still in startup mode. Ultimately, of course, we look to God to meet our needs. That’s one reason we have a weekly prayer meeting. And in his generosity, God has provided dozens of founding members who are eager to give and serve and sacrifice for the good of this new body.

But founding members are not the only ones who have played a vital role. In this article, I want to glorify God, and encourage and counsel church planters, by reflecting on ways we’ve benefited from partnerships with, and the generosity of, other local churches. I also hope to encourage pastors of established churches to consider ways they might support new gospel work in their area.

Here are seven ways we’ve benefited from the help of other churches in our town and region, along with some biblical principles that account for why these other churches have been so helpful to us.

1. Partner with Counsel

Kingdom-minded pastors don’t just care how their own churches are doing. They care about the progress of the gospel and the state of God’s churches throughout their region. Consider, for instance, how Paul and Barnabas set out on their second missionary journey not to evangelize an unreached area but to check on the state and soundness of the churches: “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are” (Acts 15:36). I benefited from pastors who modeled this kind of kingdom-minded concern for their whole region from the very beginning of my planting efforts.

When I first started thinking about planting a church in Chapel Hill, I called a handful of pastors I knew in the area. I asked them whether they thought Chapel Hill could use another faithful church and whether they thought I’d be a good person to lead it. Their responses were encouraging and affirming. If they hadn’t been, I would’ve taken that seriously. They also gave me their read on the area’s culture, spiritual needs, and other churches. If you’re a pastor who’s been ministering in a region for a decade or more, a little counsel from you can go a long way in helping a potential planter get his bearings.

2. Partner with Encouragement

There’s no need for church plants in the same area to develop a sibling rivalry. Instead, even young churches can be a model for and help to other churches. Consider how Paul commended the Thessalonians, who were barely out of their “planting” phase when he wrote to them: “You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia” (1 Thessalonians 1:6–7). Church planters working to establish new works near each other can generously share with each other what the Lord has done in and through them, along with what they’ve learned even in a short journey so far.

When planting in Chapel Hill was an idea still in the “maybe” phase, I got a call from Shane Shaddix, then one of the pastors of Imago Dei Church in Raleigh. He was also in the beginning stages of planting a church there, just a few steps ahead of us. Shane wanted to encourage me and help our efforts. Shortly after, on one of my first trips to the area, he and his fellow planter, Manny Prieto, bought me lunch and asked how they could help and encourage our work. They have consistently supported me and my fellow pastor, Michael Abraham, by texting us, praying for us privately and publicly, warmly welcoming founding members of ours for a season of attendance at their church, and in many other ways. Their church, Risen Christ Church, is a new faithful gospel witness in Chapel Hill. If you’re in the area, I would gladly encourage you to check them out.

Another local-church planter who’s been a huge help to us is Chase Jenkins. First Baptist Church of Durham recently sent out Chase and another FBC pastor, Wes Treadway, with about 72 (!) of their members to plant Parkside Baptist Church in South Durham. Chase has encouraged us relentlessly. He has been so affectionately invested in our work that I sometimes wonder if he cares more about our church’s success than his own!

3. Partner with Local Knowledge

Paul commended the Philippians for partnering with him from the very beginning of his gospel ministry: “You Philippians yourselves know that in the beginning of the gospel, when I left Macedonia, no church entered into partnership with me in giving and receiving, except you only” (Philippians 4:15). Many churches in our area have been eager and generous to partner with us in seemingly small but practically crucial ways — for instance, by sharing local knowledge, connections, and church-planting hacks.

Eric Gravelle, campus pastor of the Summit Church’s Chapel Hill campus, generously shared contacts in the school system and advice about meeting in a school. Travis Bodine, the pastor of Mount Olive Baptist Church west of downtown Chapel Hill, pooled local knowledge from his church members to generate all kinds of leads for us to chase down. And Manny and Shane of Risen Christ shared a detailed spreadsheet of possible meeting spaces. After Michael and I made dozens of inquiries, with a perfect fail rate of 100 percent, the venue that agreed to host us was from the list Risen Christ had given us. I was recently able to return the favor by sharing about a location we checked out that might prove to be a good fit for their next home. And both sets of these planting-pastor peers, from Risen Christ and Parkside, have given us advice about incorporation, nonprofit status, banking processes, and many more of the interminable logistics of planting a church.

“There’s no better way to encourage a church planter than by praying for him and his church, publicly, by name.”

On the last Sunday morning before we covenanted, I had the joy of worshiping with the saints at Parkside. Like we would soon, they baptized someone in a horse trough. (They at least got to bring the trough inside their building — our baptisms take place in a large outdoor patio next to our meeting space.) Long story short, Parkside offered us not only helpful equipment for pulling off a horse-trough baptism, but one of their deacons even assisted us with our first one the following Sunday. That’s more help than I even would have thought to ask for.

4. Partner with Local Connections

One of the ways Paul used his pastoral (or I should say, apostolic) capital to help churches take root and grow was by connecting them with, and commending to them, other leaders. For instance, Paul commends Timothy to the Philippians and urges them to trust him because of his proven character (Philippians 2:19–24).

Similarly, another way that local pastors have helped us is by connecting us to other local pastors in their relational networks. On another of my early trips down, Lawrence Yoo and Danny Castiglione of Waypoint Church generously bought me lunch and gave me their take on spiritual dynamics throughout the Triangle region. Lawrence then connected me with David Kwon, pastor of Journey Community Church, because he thought they might have space for us to rent. When Michael and I met with David, he emptied out his mental Rolodex of places we might consider for a meeting space and pastors we might consider connecting with. We wound up renting space from Journey for our Wednesday-night Bible studies.

5. Partner with Space

We know from Scripture that the church is a people, not a building (1 Corinthians 1:1–2). Some churches in the New Testament likely met in homes (Romans 16:5). Paul carried out evangelistic ministry in a rented hall (Acts 19:9). So we know that churches can gather wherever they have permission and room. But many of us (like me!) are so used to doing ministry in a well-appointed church building that planting can be a shock to the system.

I’m used to doing ministry in a 150-year-old city-center church with a large and well-maintained workhorse of a building. Having no building to take for granted is like learning to throw a baseball with my weak arm. Once a church plant hits a certain size, it will gather more people than can comfortably fit in someone’s home. Which means that for every meeting you’re either renting or asking for space.

On this front, the Lord has been generous to us through many different churches. Parkside is not the only local church to offer space for occasional meetings. Chapel Hill Bible Church graciously allowed us to host an early interest meeting in their chapel. And First Baptist Durham let us meet first in their fellowship hall and then in their sanctuary every Sunday night for the whole summer before we covenanted, for free. In addition to some key members’ homes and garages, our church essentially incubated in First Baptist. Your church might not have a large building or budget margin to give to a new church plant, but do you have enough spare space to incubate one for a season?

6. Partner with Prayer

Because the gospel advances through God’s gracious, sovereign work of saving sinners, the gospel advances through prayer. And because the gospel advances through prayer, church planting advances through prayer. So, not only should planters pray, but other churches can have an Epaphras-like ministry of wrestling in prayer on behalf of new plants: “Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God” (Colossians 4:12).

Over a couple months’ worth of Sunday mornings leading up to our covenanting, my family and I visited just about every church we had founding members coming from, and a couple of others that wanted to partner with us. During at least three of those visits, the pastor or elder leading the pastoral prayer prayed for our work.

There’s no better way to demonstrate a spirit of catholicity than by leading your church to publicly pray for other churches. There’s no better way to say and show that we’re all on Jesus’s team. And there’s no better way to encourage a church planter than by praying for him and his church, publicly, by name.

7. Partner with Members

For the Great Commission to be fulfilled, some gatherings of Christians must support and encourage some of their members to scatter. It’s painful. It’s costly. It’s hard to part. But it comes with the territory of trying to establish new kingdom outposts. Sometimes God uses persecution to do it: “Now those who were scattered went about preaching the word” (Acts 8:4). But a more proactive way to scatter for the sake of the Great Commission is for pastors to encourage members to consider uprooting their membership and perhaps even their livelihoods for the sake of advancing new gospel works — and for churches to joyfully bear that cost.

Our main sending church, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, where I served as a pastor for seven years, was exemplary in this. Amid a difficult season of transition in which another long-term associate pastor was leaving to pastor elsewhere, along with several other elders doing the same, Mark Dever graciously gave public airtime to discussing our planting efforts in the church’s evening services and encouraged members to consider moving to join the work.

In similar fashion, First Baptist Church of Durham has demonstrated exemplary partnership with us in their willingness to joyfully give members away. Even amid planting their own sizeable, full-grown church, they have encouraged and supported their members who have considered joining our work. And in their service the Sunday before we covenanted, they commissioned those who were leaving FBC to join Trinity by bringing them onto the platform and praying for them. And Grace Reformed Baptist Church in Mebane did the same with the members they sent, a tremendously encouraging sign of their support and commitment to the work at cost to their own body.

Partners in the Greatest Cause

The apostle Paul knew what it was to be needy. Through Christ he learned the secret not only of abounding but of lacking (Philippians 4:11–13). And when Paul wrote those words to the Philippians, he lacked much more than a church building or office or staff. Yet Paul thanked God for the Philippians’ contribution to his needs, and he called their relationship a partnership (Philippians 1:5; 4:15). Partnership includes financial support, but as I can gratefully testify from experience, it goes well beyond money.

Church planter, your neediness is an opportunity for other Christians, pastors, and especially churches to forge new gospel partnerships. Pastor, a new church plant coming to town is not a competitor or an opponent, but a partner in the gospel. How can you lead your church to partner with them?

Different pastors have different tendencies and temptations. Some are tempted to let urgent relational and practical issues keep them from giving enough time to prepare a solid sermon. Other pastors hide in their study, using sermon preparation as an excuse to keep people and their pesky problems at a safe distance.

This article is far more for the latter than the former, and its point is simple: pastoring is more than preaching. This article is also for men who aspire to pastor, as well as men who do pastor, but who serve as associate or assistant pastors, and perhaps preach less than they’d like.

Not only is pastoring more than preaching, but a key thread connects preaching to every other major part of the job: bringing the Bible to bear on the messy details of people’s hearts, minds, and lives. Pastoring is more than preaching, and preaching is more than dropping truth bombs from a shock-proof height. If you want to be a pastor (or you are a pastor but don’t preach as much as you want), you can grow as a preacher by constantly practicing that triple-B in every other area of your ministry — bring the Bible to bear.

So, in addition to preaching, what else does pastoring entail?

Pastoring Is Discipling

By “discipling,” I mean developing personal relationships in which a primary goal is to help someone else grow more mature in Christ. The way the apostle Paul did this in his evangelistic, apostolic ministry provides a standing pattern for pastors today.

Paul so affectionately yearned for the Thessalonians to come to Christ and grow in Christ that, as he reminds them, “We were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves” (1 Thessalonians 2:8). He didn’t just preach to them in large groups, but, “like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God” (1 Thessalonians 2:11–12). Paul didn’t just bring the Bible to bear in a big meeting, but in countless personal conversations.

In the course of a regular week, whom do you personally exhort and charge? With whom do you share not only the gospel but your own self?

Pastoring Is Counseling

Counseling aims at the same goal as discipling, but focuses on more acute sins, struggles, and suffering. Counseling is like an eddy in the stream of discipling; we step aside for a time to help someone re-enter the stream sounder and stronger. And, of course, the difference here is much more of degree than kind. Counseling is a key part of how you “shepherd the flock of God” (1 Peter 5:2), a necessary means by which you fulfill Paul’s charge: “Pay careful attention . . . to all the flock” (Acts 20:28).

What Paul charges the whole Thessalonian church to do applies doubly to pastors: “We urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14). The more severe the malady, the more crucial it is to dispense the right medicine. And the more hours you spend in the counseling chair, the more skilled a spiritual pharmacologist you’ll become.

In my first few years as a pastor, I learned that it can be surprisingly difficult and delicate to turn a counseling session toward Scripture. Someone has come to you with a big issue. Maybe he or she is struggling to trust God or care what he says. Maybe she feels like she’s heard it all before (and maybe she tells you so). Maybe so much pent-up pain and frustration pour out of him that it’s tough to get a word in edgewise. In such situations, patient listening and evident compassion go a long way — but not all the way. Your job includes helping that struggling saint learn to see his or her life the way God sees it, which means you need to find a light from Scripture that can make it through the crack in the blinds.

I don’t know if I’m an outlier among pastors here, but when I’m counseling a member who’s in acute difficulty, it feels like a third of my effort goes to listening and learning, and a third to trying to find appropriate expressions of compassion and encouragement. The last third is claimed by a program running constantly in the back of my mind, silently asking, “What passage or passages of Scripture can offer this person the most help, right now?”

Pastoring Is Leading in Discipline

If you’re a pastor, you don’t need me to tell you that hard cases will find their way to you — cases that might keep you up at night or crowd your mind all day. When a church member’s sin proves so severe that the church may need to act to exclude him or her, it is natural that a church’s pastors take the lead in addressing the erring member, assessing the situation, and recommending how the church respond.

Taking the lead in discipline can bring headache and heartache. It can bring insult and slander. It can threaten fatigue and frustration and distraction. But when you leave the ninety-nine to go after the one (Matthew 18:13–14), when you look others in the eye and confront them with the flat contradiction between their actions and God’s directions, know this: you are smack in the middle of the bull’s-eye of God’s will for your ministry.

God’s love is a holy love, a love that rescues from destructive self-deception, and in that moment you are a vessel of God’s love pursuing a desperately endangered soul.

Pastoring Is Watching Your Own Life and Doctrine

Paul charges Timothy, “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:16). You have to put the mask on yourself, and benefit from its oxygen flow, before you can safely serve others. Pastoring presents a standing temptation to professionalize your Christianity, and therefore outsource your piety. As a pastor, you have to study the Bible — for others. You have to pray — with others. You have to meditate on spiritual realities — on behalf of others. But do you still study and pray and meditate for your own soul? If you don’t, you are putting yourself and your flock into a deeply dangerous position.

“Pastoring presents a standing temptation to professionalize your Christianity, and therefore outsource your piety.”

Keep a close watch on yourself. Study Scripture not just to encourage and correct others, but to encourage and correct yourself. Whatever your stated office hours are, I would encourage you to maintain regular devotional habits outside those hours, just like you would expect a teacher or banker to do. And make sure that you are continually bringing the Bible to bear on your own fears and frustrations, your own thwarted ambitions, your own disordered desires. “Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him, how I’ve proved him o’er and o’er!” Are you proving Jesus in private, in ways none of your people will necessarily see, but from which they will indirectly benefit, as your confidence in him deepens daily?

Parlor Preaching and Pulpit Preaching

Maybe you wished you preached more, or you yearn to preach to more people. If you are frustrated about quantity, focus on quality. You usually can’t do much about the former, but you can do a whole lot about the latter. Focus on the quality of your relationship to Christ, the quality of your efforts as a discipler and counselor, the quality of your care for members who are straying into sin. The better a Christian you are, the better a pastor you’ll become.

“The better a Christian you are, the better a pastor you’ll become.”

And not only that, but your investments in all these other, non-preaching areas of your ministry will bear fruit in your preaching. By digging deeper into the depths of individual members’ struggles with sin and suffering, you’ll learn how to apply Scripture with greater nuance and precision. That’s why Richard Baxter called pastoral visitation “parlor preaching.” When you can enter deeply into one person’s struggles, in a way that informs your application without exposing their situation, it’s more than likely that a dozen people will say to themselves as they listen, “How did he know that’s just what I’m going through? Who gave him a readout of my thoughts from the past week?”

Paul exhorted the Thessalonians as a father does his children: one by one, attending to their unique abilities and struggles and situations (1 Thessalonians 2:11–12). The more you do that outside the pulpit, the more effective you’ll be in the pulpit. The more diligently you pastor people throughout the week, the more effectively you’ll pastor them in the pulpit.

Do you want to grow as a man of God?

Maybe you’re a new believer. Your character drastically differs from just a couple years ago, but you know you have a long way to go. Or maybe you’ve been a believer for a long time, but you’ve sensed yourself spiritually stagnating. You’d be hard pressed to point out a way you’ve made evident spiritual progress in the last year.

If either of those profiles fit you, this article, and its two goals, are for you. The first is to give you a new ambition, namely, becoming a man of God. The second is to give you some directions for the journey.

The “man” in “man of God” is deliberate; I’m speaking particularly to men. Much of what I’ll say also applies to women, but the next-to-last section zeroes in on a uniquely male calling.

First, here’s the new ambition. I want you, from now till the day you die, to make it your ambition to become a man of God. And I want that for you because God does. As Paul writes to Timothy, “Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness;
for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:7–8).

Godliness is “of value in every way.” It is more valuable than physical strength or financial success. It is worth more than the thickest resume or the most coveted property. Godliness will, in the long run, make you happier than the satisfaction of any earthly desire.

So how can you get it? Here are six pieces of counsel.

Mind the Gap

First, mind the gap — that is, the gap between your character and God’s. And “gap” doesn’t even begin to cover it. More like “infinite chasm.” But God commands you to cross it: “You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy” (Leviticus 19:2; cf. 1 Peter 1:15–16).

Learn to see and evaluate your character in light of God’s. Hold Scripture before your eyes as a mirror to reveal what’s lacking in you but present in him, and what’s present in you but lacking in him. “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5). What darkness is present in you? What light is missing? If you want specific benchmarks to measure yourself against, study the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5–7), the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23), and the qualifications for elders (1 Timothy 3:1–7; Titus 1:5–9).

One good way to become more mindful of this gap is to seek out and study godly men. Who do you know who radiates more of God’s holiness and joy and love than you do? Get to know him. Get close to him. Find out how he has made the progress he has, and do what he does (more on models below). The gap between your character and his can help you see the infinitely greater gap between your character and God’s. But not only that: learning how a more godly man got more godly can power-assist your progress in godliness.

Mine New Motives

Real change comes from the heart. This requires (though is by no means limited to) a new set of motives for you to mine. In order to make any lasting progress in godliness, your chief motive must be to glorify God: “whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Train your heart to love God’s glory more than your own, to love praising God more than receiving praise. Make it your ambition to please God in all you do (2 Corinthians 5:9).

In our theme verse, Paul promises that godliness is of value in every way. What is the value-added of godliness? What should motivate you to pursue it? Godliness gives you power greater than any physical prowess, technological reach, or military strength: “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32). Godliness gives you a freedom that runs deeper than any other: freedom from tyranny of self and slavery to sin. As Jesus promises, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31–32). Godliness gives you contentment, which is greater gain than any stockpile of earthly treasure. “Godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world” (1 Timothy 6:6–7).

Do you want power or freedom or lasting, secure gain? You’ll find the best, and the only reliable, form of all of those goods in godliness. So, work to continually recalibrate your motives.

Form Transforming Habits

In order to do this, you need to form transforming habits, especially Scripture study, meditation, and prayer in private and with others. Donald Whitney’s book Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life is a practical, challenging guide to these, as is David Mathis’s Habits of Grace.

If you’re not in the habit of regularly communing with Jesus through time in his word and prayer, here’s how I’d encourage you to start. Whatever your morning schedule looks like, get up a little earlier, even just twenty or thirty minutes. Read something in Scripture — could be a Psalm or a chapter of Proverbs, could be the passage your pastor is going to preach the next Sunday — and find something to turn into prayer.

What in the passage can you praise God for? What sins in your life does the passage reveal? What reason does the passage give you to thank God? What does it teach you to ask God for? Turn Scripture reading into prayer and even a short time with Christ can become a regularly refueling engine of daily transformation into his character.

Get New Models

Everyone has models. Even if you don’t consciously admit it, styling yourself as an intrepid individualist, chances are there are men you strive to be like. Whether in matters personal or professional, superficial or substantive, there are men you know, or at least know of, that you want to be like. And if you haven’t been self-consciously striving for godliness for the past several years, then chances are, you need new models.

“Find the godliest men you can, get as close to them as you can, and learn as much from them as you can.”

So find the godliest men you can, get as close to them as you can, and learn as much from them as you can. That’s what the apostle Paul told the whole Philippian church to do: “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us” (Philippians 3:17). And again, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9).

Find Ways to Father

One nearly universal definition of manhood is to produce more than you consume (see, for instance Roy Baumeister, Is There Anything Good About Men?, 195). It’s easy to see how that works in an economic, material sense: to provide for a family, you need to earn more than you use. You must be a generator of surpluses. And working hard so as to provide for others is a basic biblical imperative that especially lands on men’s shoulders (1 Timothy 5:8).

But this shorthand definition of manhood — that you produce more than you consume — doesn’t just apply to bringing home bacon. It has deep spiritual relevance as well. We all have burdens, and we need help bearing them (Galatians 6:2). We all have limited wisdom, and so we all need counselors (Proverbs 24:6). But a spiritually productive man is one who is a net burden-bearer, and a net wisdom-dispenser, a net exporter to others of spiritual good and gain. So strive to be a spiritual producer. Strive to have your desires so under control, your heart so aligned with God’s will, and your mind so transformed by his word, that you store up a surplus of spiritual help that you can regularly share out with others.

“Fatherhood, both natural and spiritual, is the distinctive shape of masculine maturity.”

Another way to say this is, find ways to father. If you’re the father of children, train them in all God’s ways (Ephesians 6:4). If you’re unmarried and desire to be married, pursue the kind of holiness, competence, leadership ability, and maturity that will make you not only attractive husband material but ready and eager to be a father. Fatherhood, both natural and spiritual, is the distinctive shape of masculine maturity. A father provides and protects. What kind of man do you need to become in order to faithfully provide for and protect others in both material and spiritual ways?

Make Membership Matter

Finally, make membership matter — meaning church membership. The New Testament assumes that all Christians will belong to local gatherings of Christians that assemble regularly and are mutually, self-consciously committed to each other (for example, 1 Corinthians 5:1–13). I’m putting this last, but in some ways it really goes first.

Church membership is the crucial, formative context for these other five items that have come before. Finding, committing to, and throwing yourself into a gospel-preaching church is the best way to regularly expose yourself to the character of God, reminders of gospel motives for godliness, help in forming spiritually fruitful habits, godly models to follow, and opportunities to bear others’ burdens and build them up in love.

These six points are just a start, hopefully a jump-start, for the long, often difficult journey of growing more godly. But the good news about church membership is that, when you regularly gather with a body of believers who are committed to Christ and each other, every single Sunday is a fresh start. And fellowship with other godly men who are striving in the same direction can continually refresh your heart in your quest to be more like Christ.