Everything that happens in life is under God’s sovereign rule and will have eternal ramifications. Whether it is sickness, suffering, or seemingly pointless pursuits, recognize that God has brought you through it all to mold and shape you into the person you are today and the person you are becoming. Christians are promised that all that comes our way will make us more like Jesus (Rom. 8:28-30). So don’t look on your past with disdain, disapproval, or despair. Reflect on it and consider how God has grown and prepared you for where you are today. 

The sentiment “If only I had known then what I know now” permeates the human experience. Time and again, in counseling and in general conversation, I hear some variation of the theme of regret over one’s past. This is not referring to particular regrets but a general regret that one’s past was wasted, damaged, or a complete loss. The comments tend to fall into one of three broad categories: regret that sin tainted one’s past, that suffering stole all or a significant portion of one’s past, or that one’s past was wasted in some other way. Without dismissing the real experiences of life, we need to encourage one another to redeem our pasts, not regret them.
Before diving into each of the three categories above, I want to lay some groundwork that is broadly applicable to the life of every Christian. First, we are influenced by our past, but our past does not determine or define us. Second, God is in the habit of creating beauty from ashes, He builds towers from trash heaps. He is the God of redemption. No person’s past cannot be redeemed. Third, God is sovereign, even over our past. There is nothing from our past that He did not know about or plan. Nothing happens to us by accident. God uses everything in the lives of believers on purpose, for a purpose. This is not always easy to see, believe, or feel, but it is true. The truth of God’s sovereignty gives hope for those regretting their past and is the bedrock on which redemption is possible.
Regret Over a Sinful Past
The most prominent category of regret I encounter in the counseling room is people who feel like their past was ruined or wasted by their sin. Scripture does call us to weep and mourn over our sin (James 4:7-10). But we should not be overwhelmed by shame over our past sin, no matter how deep it was or how long we were steeped in it. The same passage in James calls us to action regarding our sin. We are instructed to weep and mourn our sin, turn away from it, resist Satan, humble ourselves, and draw near to God. The end result is that God will exult us. He lifts us up; He doesn’t cast us down or leave us downcast.
Think about all the examples of people in Scripture who committed heinous sins or spent large amounts of their lives in sinful pursuits: David committed sexual sin and murder (2 Sam. 11). Paul stood by and affirmed the martyrdom of Christians (Acts 22:20). Peter denied Jesus and after being restored went on to forsake the gospel before being confronted by Paul (Matt. 26:69-75; Luke 22:55-62; Mark 14:66-72; John 18:16-27; Gal. 2:11-14). Rahab made her living as a prostitute (Josh. 2). The Samaritan woman at the well had a string of broken marriages and was living in sexual sin when Jesus met her (John 4:1-42).
These people could have considered themselves unworthy of God—useless for work in His Kingdom. But God redeems each one’s entire life. He adds them to His family—in some cases (Rahab and David), directly in line to His only begotten Son (Matt. 1:5-6). He restores some to leadership in ministry. He used all of them to bring Him glory.
Regret Over a Past of Suffering
Some look back on their lives and feel like significant portions have been robbed by suffering. For some, this took the shape of severe physical suffering. Disease and disability can consume a person’s life for years, sapping up all time, energy, thoughts, and resources. It can leave them asking, “What was the point, God? I could have done so much more for you if I were healthy!”
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Social media tempts us to believe that we can be like God in His omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence (sort of). Social media—and the cultural pressures that often come with the way we use it—tell us we should know everything that is happening at all times, in all places. But knowledge is not enough. With the knowledge of what is happening comes the pressure that we should do something about everything that is taking place all around the world.

Don’t worry—this blog is not going to tell you that social media is evil or that you should get off social media entirely. I will caution you, however, not to fall victim to a significant lie social media can tempt you to believe. What is the lie? That you can be like God.
Our desire to be like God has plagued humanity since the beginning. The very first temptation offered to our original mother was laced with the lie “you will be like God” (Gen. 3:5). Fast forward to an era following worldwide destruction for our sin, and we find ourselves again tempted by the allure to reach into the heavens and make a name for ourselves (Gen. 11:1-9), things that are reserved for God Himself. On and on through human history, we find evidence of this desire lurking in the heart of every man and woman. We desire to take on that which only the Divine can. Often advancements in technology come with poisoned promises that we can be like God. Social media is one of the latest culprits to come on the scene that tries to convince us we can take on godhood.
Social media tempts us to believe that we can be like God in His omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence (sort of). Social media—and the cultural pressures that often come with the way we use it—tell us we should know everything that is happening at all times, in all places. But knowledge is not enough. With the knowledge of what is happening comes the pressure that we should do something about everything that is taking place all around the world.
Allow me to illustrate with a personal example. One day, when I was trying to wrap up my dissertation, I blocked out a day for writing. I went into my office, locked the door, and turned off all access to the outside world. LAN line–off, cellphone–off, internet on my computer–off. It was a very productive day. That evening, when I turned my phone back on, I had a text from a friend which read, “Can you believe what is happening at the Capitol?” My curiosity was piqued, so I asked, “What is happening at the Capitol?” I was afraid to ask which Capitol because that would betray an even deeper level of ignorance. He sent back a Twitter feed related to riots that were taking place in Washington, D.C. The date was January 6, 2021.
At once, I began to feel guilt over my ignorance. I began to think, “I should have known!” “I should have done something!” “Should I go there?!?!”
Those questions point directly to the temptation. When our engagement with social media begins to cause us to think, “I should have/need to/ought to…know/have known, do something, or be someplace,” it is tempting us to believe we can be like God. Only God can be all places and know all things, and only God has the power to do something about everything. Any hint in our thoughts, feelings, or desires that we could take on those capacities is an acknowledgment of our desire to be Godlike.
Psalm 131:1 declares, “O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.” King David—giant slayer, Philistine conqueror, nation of Israel ruler and expander, psalmist, and man after God’s own heart—wrote these words. David is certainly not saying that we should never try to accomplish great things or do mighty deeds.
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Don’t allow yourself to be misled by false expectations of repentance or lies that would push you away from utilizing every means available to help you in this fight. Don’t be discouraged that you still feel tempted. Don’t think you have to prove your repentance by removing safeguards, facing down temptation, and resisting it. Instead, run away from temptation. 

“My dad said we can’t put filtering software on our computers because it would be a crutch. I need to be able to overcome pornography by growing in my trust and obedience to Jesus.”
I was stunned. This student had come to me for counseling because of his pornography problem, but his Christian father was undercutting my counsel and robbing his son of valuable tools in the fight against his sin. There are so many problems with the statement above. I wasn’t sure where to begin when he shared these thoughts with me. I won’t be able to address everything problematic in a single blog post, but a good place to start is to rethink this unhelpful view of temptation.
One of the central problems behind a statement like this is a misunderstanding of what walking in faithful repentance looks like when it comes to the sin of pornography use. Another way of stating the faulty position of the father above is this: “If I’m genuinely repentant of my sin of lust, I won’t be tempted by lustful images. Therefore, I should be able to have unfettered access to the internet.”
The Bible offers very different counsel. First, faithfulness is not the absence of temptation. Second, demonstrating faithfulness does not come by running toward temptation and not giving in, but by putting as much space between you and the temptation as possible. Third, using means of grace like accountability or filters to help us fight sin is not weakness but wisdom.
Temptation Is Not Necessarily the Problem
Temptation is not sin. We need to be abundantly clear about this. Jesus was tempted, but He never sinned (Matt. 4:1-11; Luke 4:1-13; Heb. 4:15). Therefore, in and of itself, temptation cannot be sin. James helps us distinguish between temptation and sin in the first chapter of his letter, which lays out the process that leads to sin (James 1:14-15). He describes temptation as something that precedes and can lead to sin but is not sin itself. Sometimes we lay a heavy burden of expectation on ourselves or others who struggle with porn when we communicate that genuine repentance and faithfulness to God means that there would be no temptation toward lust at all, even if a herd of attractive naked people was to go strolling by. Walking in faithful repentance would be turning from the temptation and running toward God—both physically and in our hearts.
Fleeing from Temptation
Turning away physically is one way to say no to temptation. The Bible not only encourages us to turn away from temptation but also to avoid it, whenever and however possible. When Jesus instructs His followers to pray, He includes the petition that God would keep us from temptation (Matt. 6:13).
One of my friends is a former MMA fighter. One time when he was cutting weight before a fight, he opened a bag of his favorite chips, pulled one out, and held it in front of his face. But he didn’t eat it. He did this to show himself that he had the willpower to say no to his desire for that delicious treat.
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