Keith Evans

Philemon and the Opposite of Abusive Leadership

We must find leaders who choose the better path presented by Paul in this epistle. When they speak, we should hear words of life from our loving Father. And we must seek out those who do not demand submission to their authority, chafe when they are disagreed with, or wield church censures when they are crossed—but ones who lead by Christ-like example, embodying our gentle Savior in speech and in conduct.

There is much talk in the church today about oppressive leadership and spiritual abuse, and for good reason! We can certainly be thankful the conversation is finally above the fold and the church is talking about some much needed issues that have plagued her for far longer than we’d like to admit.
That said, there is a good deal of course-correcting taking place and putting off negative behavior, but we may be wanting for positive articulation of what we should be looking for in our spiritual leaders. What type of leadership qualities ought we be seeking—not just the types we should be avoiding or removing? How should those in authority be conducting themselves when it comes to care for the flock? The Apostle Paul in the book of Philemon gives us just such an example of winsome, gospel appeal, as compared to legal demands and dictatorial authority.
You recall the book of course. Onesimus, a runaway slave from the Colossian Church, fled from his wealthy land owner, Philemon, and ended up in Rome to find safe quarter. There he encountered an imprisoned Apostle Paul, came under his evangelistic efforts, and as a result was converted to Christ. Onesimus is then sent back to the church in Colossae, which met in his master’s home, with letter in hand from the Apostle to Philemon.
Pause here for a moment. Onesimus’ life is forfeit. In a best case scenario, he would be thrown into prison until he was able to pay back the value of everything stolen and defrauded from Philemon. Far worse consequences than that could be justified under the law at such a time. It is into this context that Paul pleads for Onesimus to be forgiven his debt and for Philemon to receive him, not as a runaway slave forever indebted, but as a brother in Christ, a fellow heir of the Kingdom, and as an equal member of the church!
Instead of making demands, and without appeal to his apostolic authority, this letter reads as a gentle entreaty to a friend and brother to exhibit the grace of our infinitely forgiving Father in Heaven.
Notice Paul writes not as the authoritative “Apostle” in verses 1 and 2, but as “a prisoner” and places himself shoulder-to-shoulder with Philemon, his wife, and their son by calling them brothers, sister, fellow workers and fellow soldiers. He then reminds them how thankful he is for their love for all the saints and how they have refreshed the hearts of so many—of which Onesimus would now be one (vs. 4-7).
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Using One’s Strength to Serve

The earthly man’s perspective is not the perspective of our Lord. Man wants to get ahead, wants to work hard and build one’s own dream. And this mentality of being a self-made man, a hard man, a person of prominence, is always threatening to creep into the Church—and does creep in! But Christ calls his followers to reject the ways of the world and the means of the world, and instead adopt his posture of service and humility.

We live in a time where it is thought that strength must be shown for it to be “strength”. Arguing online is the norm. Brash politicians are lauded. The bolder the talking head, the better. For men to be men they must be strong and commanding. Pastors must be firm and charismatic leaders if they are to generate a following. And for the church to “truly” stand against the rising tide of the culture, it must be boisterously staunch and outwardly superior to combat the evil of our day. But is this what Christ would have for us to demonstrate that we stand with Jesus—is this what the Lord had in mind when he called his followers to be like him?
Biblical Testimony
Throughout the whole of the scriptures, God describes himself as the God who cares for ones who cannot care for themselves. A small sampling is all that is needed to demonstrate this point. Psalm 10:17-18, “O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted…to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed”, Psalm 72:12-14 “he delivers the needy when he calls…He has pity on the weak and the needy, From oppression and violence he redeems their life”. In Ezekiel 34, when God lambasts the false shepherds of his people, he condemns them for caring only for themselves and for, horrifically, feeding themselves on the Lord’s sheep! To such an inversion of God’s desires, he promises to care for his sheep himself (vs. 15) and to set up the one true Shepherd in the line of David (vs. 23). This shepherd is One after the Lord’s own heart (Jer. 3:15) who will not take advantage of those under his care, but feed and provide for them. This is the very tender compassion of our God—this is how he chooses to make himself known! Our God is a God who uses his strength to serve.
The Worldly Alternative
The opposite is true of the world. Worldly men, as described in the scriptures, think only of themselves. Jude 12 says they “shepherd only themselves.” Philippians 3:19 captures the selfishness of these enemies of the cross as those “whose god is their bellies”—they only care about satisfying self. And Jesus said in Matthew 20:25-26: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant.” Jesus distinctly calls us to fly in the face of the world’s typical standard of “always look out for number one.” The world’s default perspective is who else is going to look out for me, if I don’t? In the corporate world, climb the dogpile faster than the competition. In the financial sector, make as much as possible—personal greed is the ticket! In social settings, put others down so you look good. In any sphere of authority, make sure people are serving you.
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Fear Is a Function of Worship

Whatever it is you most fear—you are giving that thing, that aspect of your life,worth. You are saying it is worth your time, it is worth your thoughts, it is worth your worries, it deserves your energies, your planning, and your deliberations. It is worth giving large swaths of your life over to serve it in your mind.

I speak this line to people all the time: “Fear is a function of worship.” And without fail, I get much the same response. They look at me with a side-turned head: “Okay…?” some of them say. Or, “I’m not sure what that means”, others reply. Still others quickly nod, not understanding, and proceed as though I’ve not said a word. And yet this concept, that fear is an aspect of worship, is a profound reality at the foundational level. Lest you too, dear reader, turn your head sideways or click away without understanding what is being said, please allow me to explain.
Fear Is a Form of Worship
In Deuteronomy 10:20, Moses tells God’s worshiping community: “You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear.” God’s people are called to fear the Lord and fear him alone. The people are to have no other gods besides the one true and living God—he only deserves our fear. The next verb in that verse is the word “serve”, which can mean work or labor, but also is translated “worship” in the Old Testament. So we are beginning to see God making “fear” and “worship” a parallel concept. What is more, notice the other words even in this verse, and how they carry with them the idea of wholehearted devotion to the Lord “hold fast to him” and “swearing by his name”. These are worshipful and reverential concepts, friends!
If we were to examine the larger context, though, the notion becomes even more apparent. Deuteronomy 10 is all about obedience to the Lord, serving the Lord with a whole heart, circumcising one’s heart unto the Lord, and to fear him alone (cf. Deut 10:12-13, “what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the Lord”). Clearly, fearing the Lord is a part of our larger devotion to God—fear is a function of worship.
Fear Parallels Worship
If Deuteronomy 10 leaves room for confusion, Deuteronomy 6 clarifies. In verse 13, notice the same idea, but perhaps stated more plainly: “You shall fear only the LORD your God; and you shall worship Him and swear by His name.” Do you see the parallelism Moses is highlighting for us? Fear God alone, worship God alone. Fear is an aspect of our worship.
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Coerced Confession

Godly sorrow involves a hatred of sin, includes a fear of God, a longing for holiness, a zeal for the truth, and a willingness to receive appropriate punishment…Such confession and repentance could never be compelled. As Charles Spurgeon famously said when commenting on David’s confession in Psalm 51, “Honest penitents…come to the point, call a spade a spade, and make a clean breast of all.”

Coaxing a Confession
The desire is good. We all want to see people confess and repent and walk in newness of obedience before the Lord. But the execution can often be forced. We are so used to walking with people, coming alongside of counselees, and shepherding them in blessed directions, that we may fail to realize when we “do the work for them.” Never is this more problematic than when coaxing a confession and subsequent repentance out of someone.
The Scriptures are clear that repentance is the Holy Spirit’s business, as Acts 11:18 and 2 Timothy 2:25 reveal. To compel an admission of guilt very well may be the jurisdiction of police detectives, but it is certainly unbecoming of biblical counselors. Far worse than mere admission of wrongdoing, however, would be coaching someone on what repentance would look like in a given situation, so much so that we find ourselves functionally “repenting for them,” as it were.
Forcing the Matter
A coerced confession is not repentance. Yet all one has to do is stop for a moment to consider how such a situation naturally happens. The counselee is having a hard time seeing his sin, though he can concede to some elements as the counselor points them out or asks good questions. So the counselor offers some additional coaching. There is resistance and vague concessions along the way. With a little more coaching and direction, the counselor has massaged the “confession” to a point where the counselor feels satisfied. It passes muster as far as the outward biblical forms are concerned. The counselor then coaches the person on how to go about repenting for such sins, and before long, the counselor is relieved. Repentance has been achieved. The only problem is that this is not biblical confession or biblical repentance. It is mere concession and a parroting back of the counselor’s understanding of the situation.
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The Many Odd Uses and Abuses of Matthew 18

Matthew 18 is not speaking of abusers and oppressors. Jesus is speaking of “brothers,” not wolves. Would we ask Christ’s most tender and trodden upon lambs to go alone, and speak alone, with a predator before we can properly confront his sin?

A strange thing happens from time to time when speaking to someone about God’s sovereignty in man’s salvation. Your conversation partner refers to John 3:16, over and over again. “But it says ‘whosoever.’” It is as though this is the single verse that the whole theological enterprise hinges upon! If one could only overcome that lone verse, then perhaps, the discussion may continue.
While I am using a bit of playful hyperbole in the above illustration, a similar oddity happens when disagreements and conflict within the body of Christ arise—Matthew 18 seems to become the solitary text of scripture able to be discussed. It is as though the whole enterprise hinges upon that single verse!
I am of course overstating things for the sake of drawing out the point, but let us consider some of the many ways Matthew 18 gets overused or abused within the Christian community.
Note how the passage in question begins: “If your brother sins against you.” At the outset, we see what Jesus is regulating—what Jesus is speaking to—is personal offenses. A sin from one brother against another brother. In other words, personal grievances, person-to-person. There are many interactions in life, Christian-to-Christian, not governed by this passage, because interpersonal sin is not involved. And yet, seemingly every interpersonal interaction gets filtered through the lens of these verses. While we must never defend or excuse gossip, any whiff of disagreement mentioned to a third party, and you will likely hear the question: “yes, but have you followed Matthew 18?”
Secondly, we must note that the passage explicitly states “if your brother sins against you.” In this context, we are speaking of actual sin—clear violations of God’s law against a fellow brother, not mere disagreement. If every variation of opinion between brothers had to be adjudicated according to Matthew 18, what a litigious church we would become!
I recall in a public meeting of the church, where a public speech was made by a brother, and in response, I publicly disagreed with what was just said. Shortly after the meeting, I received an email from him stating that if I had such a disagreement with my brother’s position, I had to first confront him privately before mentioning it in a public setting. Laying aside the sheer impossibility of knowing my brother’s opinion prior to him stating it openly in the meeting, if this is what Matthew 18 means, that every point of disagreement must be privately dealt with first, our lives would be nothing but continual one-on-one disagreements.
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Battling Pornography

There has to be a greater affection than your desire for sin, otherwise, you’ll keep going back to your deepest desires. The moment you begin desiring lust in your mind, long before you ever open up the videos or images, repent for even the desire to sin. Flee to Christ immediately.

The need is real—the battle is vicious. Pornography is rampant. 96% of adults and teens today are ambivalent at best about the use of pornography, with most either encouraging or accepting its use. And though the church fairs better than the world, the stats are still alarmingly high. 64% of Christian men view pornography at least once a month—and while Christian women are much lower in prevalence than believing men, they too are not unaffected by this ensnaring sin.
So what are we to do? How can the church be set free, and what helps are there in combating this idol of the heart and lust of the eyes? There are two primary means of response—and the one without the other will fail.
The first is radical accountability. Jesus, speaking on the topic of lust, says that we must be willing to gouge out our eye and cut off our hand in resisting sin (Matt 5:29-30). Far from advocating literal self-mutilation, our Savior is calling upon us to take drastic measures in ridding our lives of sin. He says “For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell” and on that point, he’s being dreadfully serious! Our Lord means for us to remove all means which are causing us to stumble. Here particularly speaking of what we view (the eye) and how we use the members of our body (our hand)—and understood in the context in which he was speaking, this is shockingly evocative language! The point is clear, whatever is in our lives which is a source of temptation to sexual sin—remove it! Is it the smart phone, the tablet, the computer, Netflix…whatever the case may be…rid one’s life of such temptations immediately.
A well known counseling professor of mine says the first question he asks young men who want to be free of pornography is “are you willing to get rid of your smartphone?” and if they don’t say yes, he effectively tells them: “come back to me when you’re ready to get serious about your sin.”
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Three Main Issues…

Thanks be to Christ that he shall deliver us from all that ails us, sin and all. And thanks for his all-sufficient Word that speaks to every area of life, providing all we need for life and godliness. And secondly, I would say “stay tuned” for future installments as I seek to address these main problem issues faced in the church, and offer true hope and help as is freely offered in God’s Word. 

The Three Main Issues Counseled in the Church Today
As a counselor and professor of counseling, as one might expect, I find myself doing a fair bit of counseling. And I am often asked, “which issues do you face the most?” This is an interesting question, because, though it is anecdotal, it causes me to look back over the years and try and condense and summarize—which central themes are most prominent among those seeking help? But it is also a fascinating exercise, because we are talking about the church—not the world. It would pique my interest to know the three main issues counseled in secular spheres, that would be compelling in and of itself. But what I find intriguing about the present question, is that we are talking about the most prevalent matters plaguing the church—the very people of God. While I readily acknowledge my own experience and vantage point are inherently limited and therefore may not be universally representative, in this post we consider the three primary issues counseled in the church today.

Anxiety — Everyone has an opinion about anxiety. Some are adamant: “It is never sin, it is purely biological.” Others just as vigorously: “It is always sin, never biological.” And like it or not, it seems everyone faces anxiety—to one degree or another. I cannot quantify how many people counseled in the pastorate or through the counseling institute come in for issues involving fear and anxiety. Please do not perceive this to be conflating two separate categories, for, anxiety is a function of fear, and thus the concepts are closely related. That is, after all, why Christ, along with the rest of Scripture, addresses this topic so frequently. “Do not be anxious about what you will wear” or about your stature, or life, or “what you will eat”. Also, his regular rejoinder: “fear not” or “do not be afraid”. What is more, there is so much New Testament teaching on anxiety, it is hard to miss! “Be anxious for nothing”, or the practical applications of how to rest in the God who delivers us from fear. The counsel of “do not fear the one…” (Mt 10:28) and instead the call to a proper fear, “rather fear [the Lord]”. Elsewhere, we are explicitly encouraged by the Apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 1:7 that we have been given, not a spirit of fear—that is, fear and anxiety are not of our kingdom. Rather we have been given the Spirit of love, power, and self control. The absence of anxiety in the midst of any circumstance is the miraculous possibility of our kingdom, as Paul says in Philippians 4:11-13.

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“This is Your Brain on Depression. Any Questions?”

We must stop thinking that depression is merely physical in origin and cure. It’s not. It never was. We are bodies and souls, and we must care for both bodies and souls comprehensively and well. 

Will you forgive me a short foray into my particular field of study? You see, my undergraduate degree is in psychology, and I currently teach biblical counseling. So you would be sympathetic if I were to say that counseling, the care of the individual, and an understanding of the human person is immensely interesting to me. I trust you would also see the practical and personal application that the field has to all of us, right? Therefore, if we were to discuss the cause of depression for a moment, then, you’d appreciate the importance and relevance, wouldn’t you? I ask all of these rhetorical questions because I’m about to launch into a discussion about a major paper that was published in the field of psychology/psychiatry just last week (July 20, 2022) and I don’t want your eyes to glaze over—at least not right away—so stay with me!
In a landmark systematic review released last week in the journal of Molecular Psychiatry, researchers concluded that the “chemical imbalance” view of depression has no evidence to support the alleged cause of depression. Here is where you might be asking “so what?”, and perhaps your eyes are already hazy. Well, if you have been attentive to psychological medication advertisements and commercials, at least since the 90s, you’ve likely heard of “the chemical imbalance” theory of depression. Or, if you know someone who is taking psychological medications, you’ve likely heard them reference “a chemical imbalance in their brain” a time or two if you’ve discussed the topic with them. Or if you yourself have sat down with your doctor about psychological medication, you likely heard him explain about the chemicals in your brain and why you feel the way that you do. That is because this notion of depression originating in the brain has been dominant in the western world for the past 30+ years (and has at least been around for the past 60). In fact, 80% of surveyed adults believe depression is caused by a chemical imbalance.¹ But last week’s conclusive study marks the end of such a theory (or at least should mark the end). The paper decisively concludes by saying that it is time to acknowledge that this particular theory of depression has no empirical evidence to support it!²
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5 Considerations of an Action

May we never make excuses for our actions based upon good motives and pure intentions. May we examine the morality of our actions, or lack thereof, and may we sincerely care about the impact our behaviors have on others. And may we never discount and disregard another’s perceptions because we are right in our own eyes. Instead, let us humble ourselves before the holy law of the Lord, and let us never say “there is no sin in us” (1 John 1:8,10).The evangelical world was shaken this week. A massive independent investigation into abuse was released about the largest evangelical denomination in the West. Our Southern Baptist brothers and sisters in Christ are reeling from the revelations, and those of us on the outside are left standing by; waiting, praying.
But one of the rejoinders we will hear, and have already begun to hear, in the face of egregious sin is downplaying one’s culpability. There are many ways the accused try and lessen the impact of what has taken place. And if we’re willing to be self-reflective, we make the same kind of arguments all the time. That is, we try and focus on aspects surrounding our sin instead of the sin itself. We speak of our motives or our intentions, and we attempt to discard the impact our actions have on others.
The Scriptures do not allow us to be so dismissive. Sin is sin. Its heinousness is only made more severe by our underlying motivations or intentions—not less so because “we meant well” or some other such reasons offered.
No, biblically speaking, we may analyze every action on the basis of at least 5 ethical considerations. They are: motive, intention, the action itself, the impact it has on others, and people’s perception of the given action.
1. Motive
We always do what we want to do, and we have a motivation behind why we do what we do. It can be a sinful motive or a selfless/holy motive. A sinful action is made more sinful by sinful motives. Take for instance the internal motive of: “I lied to protect my own neck, and I don’t care about the harm it may cause.” Very seldom would we admit something so baldly, and yet, we can easily see how such sinful motives (self-preservation) make the sin itself (lying) more odious. Motivation is only ever an aggravator of sin, never a mitigator, but we often attempt to use it as the latter. “My motives were pure, therefore my actions must be pure, too”—sadly, this is not so. Pure motives cannot rehabilitate violations of God’s law.
2. Intention
We can be motivated by sin while intending a good outcome. I can bring my wife flowers (a good act), aimed at genuinely blessing her (a good intention toward her) but with the self-serving purpose of getting her off of my back for something I refuse to repent of (wicked motive)—or any combination thereof. I can have a good motive to do a sinful act because I believe the ends justify the means. For example, I can tell a “little white lie” to prevent someone’s harm when asked “does this outfit look good?” And yet we can never use sinful means to accomplish good ends. In other words, good intentions do not baptize bad behavior.
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The Lost Art of Courage

Friends, the church must foster the art of courage—a boldness that holds its strength in meekness—like the Good Shepherd who lays down his life for his sheep, who could have called down 12 legions of angels with a word.Long ago, Aesop told a fable about a Lion. This supposedly fearsome ruler of the wild heard a hollow and startling voice, but did not see anyone to accompany the voice—so the lion grew terribly afraid. After some moments of great dread, a frog hopped out of the lake and on to the shore where the lion could finally see who was making the noise. Realizing he was frightened by such an insignificant animal, the lion proceeded to stomp the frog to bits with his claws.
Aesop told some clever and revealing tales—and this one is not unlike the rest. Sadly, this fable may resonate in our age with those of us in the church. There appears to be one of two extremes common among the people of God—the extremes of the lion. Either shrinking back when we ought not. Or viciously thundering forth when we ought not. It seems the church may need to regain the lost art of courage, for there are those who shy away from battles that must be taken up, and there are those who don bravado and (seemingly) do nothing but battle. What may be lacking in these two poles is the biblical concept of “meekness”—or courage, rightly carried.
The Apostle Paul in Titus 1, speaks to the young evangelist, and lays out to Titus (and by extension, us) a list of qualifications we are all familiar with; the qualifications of elders. After Paul walks through these character qualities he points out that these godly attributes lead somewhere. The character of these leaders have a purpose, a goal, a particular practice. You see, it is not enough to have godly character, the scriptures expect us to rightly labor in accord with that Christ-like character.
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