The wise counselor is, in a sense, a realist. He knows from Scripture that we live between the ages. And so, he helps the counselee to see how his desires and expectations point to a deeper longing for eternal pleasures that are only found in God (Ps. 16:11). Not only that, the faithful counselor points to Christ—crucified, raised, ascended, seated in heaven, and given to and in us by the Spirit. He is our hope of glory.

We live and suffer according to the hopes and expectations we hold. I mean this in a general sense. The things we long for drive how we behave. And that longing makes the wait to be experienced as a type of suffering. To not have what is deeply desired is painful. It makes the heart sick.
The author of Proverbs noticed this reality: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life” (Prov. 13:12). Like my initial statement, this verse seems to depict a general reality about human psychology. When the object of our longings—of our hopes—is delayed, our hearts grow tired and discouraged. The continuous lacking that is perceived becomes a burden in prolonged waiting.
In contrast, the desire that is met and fulfilled is compared to the tree of life. There is joy and delight in having that which has been anticipated and wanted. When that baby girl is finally held in her mom’s arms, everything in life takes new colors. When the doctor declares dad to be cancer-free, the tastes of grace in life are accented in new ways. When that promotion finally comes after years of hard work, the scents of life grow more fragrant. The fulfilled desire is like a source of new energy and motivation, a tree that produces life.
What Kind of Longing?
It may seem that the solution for our anxieties and angsts is straightforward. All we need is to get what we long for most deeply, and then all pain will fade away. I would say that is true, depending on how we look at these longings. Created with desires, we were meant to long for something. The problem is that our wants are based on longings that shoot too low. We expect ultimate fulfillment from things that cannot deliver the delight for which we were made. And so, our hearts find no peace until they rest in God.[1]
Now, the fact that we do have desires is revealing. The reality that we find delight when desires are met points to a greater reality of ultimate delight. The temporary quality of the delight we experience from inferior desires exposes the reality that our hearts yearn for final peace and permanent blessedness. Our souls are thirsty for God, the only source of living water (Ps. 42:1-2).
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If ultimate authority is given to our senses, then doubts about God’s goodness will abound. However, if our confidence in God’s goodness depends primarily on His own special self-revelation in Scripture, then the here and now finds its context within the framework of the cross and the triumphant return of Christ. Counselors act as wise guides when they lead their counselees to greater awareness of their location in the history of redemption. By this awareness, counselors and counselees direct their life responses as praise for God’s everlasting goodness and His steadfast love—even when it doesn’t make it to our experiential senses.

If you live long enough, you will suffer. If you counsel long enough, you will hear some stories of unimaginable suffering. Our awareness of the fallenness of the order in which we live should, in theory, prevent our shock when listening to our counselee’s pains. Often, that is not the case. Some stories are just jaw-dropping.
Some circumstances remind us of the dreadful days narrated at the end of the book of Judges. “There was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judg. 21:25). The atrocities multiplied as the evil of men grew more and more evident, to the point that even reading a narrative like that of the Levite and concubine makes us cringe (see Judg. 19).
But then, we find ourselves cringing once again in the counseling chair. We hear stories about child sexual abuse, spiritual authoritarianism, spousal serial betrayals, and so many other evils that are hard to believe. And yet, as counselors, we are just “reading” the story. In front of us sits a brother or sister who is experiencing those hardships, and each blow of pain is a challenge to their faith: “Where is your good God?”
When goodness doesn’t make sense (or, to our senses), the biblical counselor is responsible for reminding the afflicted counselee of the rest of the story. To be biblical in our counseling, we must help the counselee contextualize his human experience, no matter how challenging they are, within frames of redemptive history. This contextualization entails at least three scenes: 1) the counselee’s present suffering, 2) Christ’s redemptive suffering, and 3) the promised end of suffering with the return of the King.
First Scene—Sensed Evil
The problem of evil hurts the most at the experiential level. Yes, theodicy involves various logical challenges for academics to discuss. The difficulty of those theoretical challenges does not compare, however, to what is experienced by those going through seasons of intense pain and suffering. For the afflicted, circumstances seem to shout moment after moment in accusation, “Where is your God?” (Ps. 42:3, 10).
The wise counselor will not use that truth from Romans 8:28 glibly or too quickly. Yes, we do believe that God is working all things for those who love Him.
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