It is no small feat to build a strong marriage. It is no easy thing to maintain a strong marriage through years of trials and temptations, through decades of sinning and being sinned against. It is not something any of us can take for granted and it is for this reason that there are so many resources available to help marriages start well and continue well.

New to store shelves is Bob Lepine’s Build a Stronger Marriage: The Path to Oneness, one of the inaugural books in a new series from New Growth Press titled “Ask the Christian Counselor.” (Other volumes include Anxious About Decisions; Angry with God; I Have a Psychiatric Diagnosis; and I Want To Escape.) The purpose of the book is to point couples to the most common “pressure points” in marriage and to address them from the Bible—to identify potential issues in a marriage and help a husband and wife solve them, thus strengthening their marriage.
The format is simple: The book is comprised of 17 brief chapters and each has a few pages of teaching followed by an assignment the couple is meant to complete together. Always a husband and wife are to consider their own issues or flaws ahead of the other person’s. After all, “the only person you can change is you. So instead of reading this book and hoping it will fix what is wrong with your mate, read it asking God to show you what needs to be addressed in your own life.” The chapters flow from the meaning and purpose of marriage, to examining past examples of marriage and events in life that may have contributed to marital difficulties, to matters related to conflict and forgiveness, to “best practices” that can strengthen and even restore a marriage. It’s a simple, effective format.
Though this book can be completed by a couple alone, many will benefit from involving someone else—perhaps a pastor or elder or perhaps another couple who has been married for a little longer and can serve as mentors. This is especially true of those whose marriages are in a serious state and who may need something more significant than a minor tune-up. (Do note that the book is titled Build a Stronger Marriage, not Save an Unraveling Marriage, so when the situation is dire, it would probably be best to pursue more formal counseling.)
Build a Stronger Marriage is an excellent little book and one I’m convinced will make a different in many marriages. I’d recommend pastors keep a few handy that they can give away to couples who are looking for just a little help. I’d recommend older couples keep a few handy and invite younger couples to join them in going through it together. And I’d recommend it to couples who may wish to join with a few others and strengthen their marriages together. In any case, it should serve its purpose well.
(Those who appreciate Lepine’s book may also want to look at his earlier work on marriage Love Like You Mean It: The Heart of a Marriage that Honors God.)

Buy from Amazon

The Lord be with you and bless you today.

Why Bros Failed at the Box Office
Carl Trueman has some thoughts about why the gay rom-com Bros failed at the box office. His analysis is well worth reading, but I would want to add this: I think there’s no significant audience for it. Men don’t generally want to watch rom-coms and women don’t have any great interest in one grounded in a homosexual relationship (and displaying homosexual sex scenes). Hence, they made a film that, by definition, has low appeal and their marketing ploy of “see this or you’re a bigot” wasn’t attractive to anyone.
Praying in Public
Lisa LaGeorge offers some helpful counsel on praying in public (and a reminder of what we demonstrate to others when we do so).
Getting America’s Most Famous (Or Infamous) Sermon Right
“In the Summer of 1741, Jonathan Edwards preached Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God—the most famous or infamous sermon to land on what would soon be American soil.” Travis Hearne focuses on an aspect of this sermon that most accounts have neglected.
2022 Wildlife Photographer of the Year
There are some stunning photos of nature in this gallery. The “bee ball” is the overall winner, and for good reason.
The Need for Roots
Andrew Wilson: “A few years ago I noticed how many of my favourite authors were writing during or immediately after World War II. It had not occurred to me before, and I wondered why it might be the case.” This leads to a reflection on the modern day.
A Word About the ‘Spark’ In Marriage
Lauren Washer says “a marriage that lasts requires more than a sexy flame.” In other words, that “spark” must be more than sexual desire, important though that may be.
Flashback: A Master at Identifying Sin
I am a master at identifying sin. I might be tempted to brag about that fact, except for this: While I’m a master at identifying the sin in other people, I’m a mere novice at identifying the sin in myself.

God kills thy comforts from no other design but to kill thy corruptions; wants are ordained to kill wantonness, poverty is appointed to kill pride, reproaches are permitted to destroy ambition. —John Flavel

Today Westminster Books has a neat trilogy for kids on sale. You may also enjoy their The Pastor and the Modern World podcast.

(Yesterday on the blog: A Manifesto for Times of Suffering)
What Does It Mean To Be Winsomely Reformed?
Michael Kruger: “It should also be said that being winsomely Reformed does not mean that one is weak, fearful, or lacking in conviction. To say we should be winsome is not to say everything a Christian should be. Christians should also be strong and faithful, even courageous and bold. But let us not confuse being strong with being belligerent. Nor should we mistake being bold with being caustic. The loudest and most aggressive people are not always the ones with the most confidence in God’s word.”
The Wicked Bible
This is such an amusing bit of church history. “A scandalous printing mistake in a 17th century King James Bible caused it’s printers to lose their license, and a vast majority of the bible copies to be hunted and destroyed. The copy itself earned the nickname ‘Wicked Bible’, thanks to an unfortunate, but hilarious mistake in the Ten Commandments.”
The God of the gaps or the God who makes the grass grow?
Rick says that “science, rather than explaining away God, has opened a marvelous window for us to see in ever greater detail what it is that God does every day to govern and take care of his creation.”
How To Never Burn Out
Seth offers a sure “solution that will keep you from ever burning out in your service for others.”
Essentials and Non-Essentials in a Nutshell
“We Evangelicals talk a lot about essentials and non-essentials. Rightly so. We talk about distinguishing between those areas in our faith – those doctrines – which are central or ‘cardinal’ doctrines, and those which are not so important. However, we often have trouble when someone asks us to define, distinguish, and defend this whole ‘essentials/non-essentials’ distinction.”
How The Gospel Guides us in Engaging Indian Culture
Jimit Mehta: “I grew up in a traditional Gujarati home, steeped in our unique culture. But my family also travelled to different states, multiple times a year. I tasted a slice of many diverse cultures, each as beautiful as the other. But it was only when I became a follower of Christ that I learnt to truly behold this kaleidoscope that is India, in all of its breathtaking beauty.”
Flashback: 7 Things Your Church Needs From You
God made you part of your church for your good. You cannot do life on your own. You aren’t strong enough, you aren’t wise enough, you aren’t mature enough, you aren’t godly enough.

We all want a sense of meaning. But, boy, is it hard work creating one. By contrast, the loving Creator God says to us, Stop trying to create meaning. I’ve given you a glorious one. —Matt Fuller

In the relatively early days following Nick’s death, I understood that I would face a number of temptations—the temptation to sink into unremitting despair, the temptation to descend into self-pity, or the temptation to charge God with wrong. I knew also that God was calling me to carry a deep sorrow for a long time and that I could grow weary of it and then act out in ungodly ways. For that reason I soon found myself writing a kind of manifesto, a declaration that I would read often and hold myself accountable to. I am sharing it today in case others may find it helpful as they are called upon to suffer in their own ways. Perhaps it can give you ideas or words that you can adopt as your own as you attempt to be faithful in even the most difficult of circumstances. (This manifesto is chapter 9 of Seasons of Sorrow.)

By faith I will accept Nick’s death as God’s will, and by faith accept that God’s will is always good. By faith I will be at peace with Providence, and by faith at peace with its every decree. By faith I will praise God in the taking as I did in the giving, and by faith receive from his hand this sorrow as I have so many joys. I will grieve but not grumble, mourn but not murmur, weep but not whine.
Though I will be scarred by Nick’s death, I will not be defined by it. Though it will always be part of my story, it will never become my identity. I will be forever thankful that God gave me a son and never resentful that he called him home. My joy in having loved Nick will be greater than my grief in having lost him. I will not waver in my faith, nor abandon my hope, nor revoke my love. I will not charge God with wrong.
I will receive this trial as a responsibility to steward, not a punishment to endure. I will look for God’s smile in it rather than his frown, listen for his words of blessing rather than his voice of rebuke. This sorrow will not make me angry or bitter, nor cause me to act out in rebellion or indignation. Rather, it will make me kinder and gentler, more patient and loving, more compassionate and sympathetic. It will loose my heart from the things of earth and fix it on the things of heaven. The loss of my son will make me more like God’s Son, my sorrow like the Man of Sorrows.
I will continue to love God and trust him, continue to pursue God and enjoy him, continue to worship God and boast of his many mercies. I will look with longing to the day of Christ’s return and with expectation to the day of resurrection. I will remain steadfast and immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. I will forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead, always pressing on toward the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. I will lay aside every weight and sin that clings so closely and run with endurance the race that is set before me, looking always to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of my faith. I will remain faithful until I have fought the good fight and finished the race and kept the faith. I will die as I have lived—a follower of Jesus Christ. Then, by grace, I will go to be with Jesus, and go to be with Nick.
This is my manifesto.

The Lord be with you and bless you today.

Yesterday’s link to Samuel James’ review of When Narcissism Comes to Church was broken. I apologize for that! You can find it here.
The Silent Sin That Kills Christian Love
Here’s Trevin Wax on a too-common sin. “Perhaps the test of faithfulness in a day of moral degradation will be our love for people across chasms of difference. Faithfulness isn’t in showy displays that we hate all the right people. Faithfulness isn’t in adopting a contemptuous posture toward the current president or the former one. The way of the cross rejects the path of sneers and jeers, whether in the form of elite condescension or populist passion.”
A Call For Trailblazers
This missionary has “a call for trailblazers. A few are called to this hard and wonderful work. A great many will be called to the crucial work of sending and supporting them. May God show us which one he is calling each one of us to.”
How Can We Trust the Bible When It Contains Inconsistencies?
One thing I appreciate about Christians and “inconsistencies” in the Bible is that we don’t run from them, but rather seek to understand them. “I am finding inconsistencies in the Gospels that really bother me. But if it contains contradictory accounts, how can we trust what the Bible says?”
Shades of Grace
“Roman Catholic, Cheap Grace, and Reformed Christian sit in a small country pub, discussing justification. To the surprise of each, ‘It is of grace’ they assert, one by one.” This article does a good job of showing the distinctions between three different understandings of God’s saving grace.
May the Lord Make Me Truly Thankful
Darryl Dash: “One of my goals as I get older is to become more thankful, more aware of God’s grace in all that he’s given me to enjoy. As far as I can see, the only alternative is to become more entitled, and that’s not an option I want to explore.”
Who Says Who We Are—Man or Maker?
“There are a lot of questions we humans have about ourselves. How are we made to function? How should we build relationships like friendships and marriages? Should there be any boundaries for sexual activity? What’s the best way to resolve conflict? There’s an endless—and important—list of questions.”
Flashback: Susie
This telling of Susie’s life is long overdue. It is well-researched, well-written, and well worth the read. It has deservedly become the definitive account of an important life.

…humility is not the antonym of strength. On the contrary, those who tremble at God’s word are those most likely to stand against human opposition. —Gavin Ortlund

Blessings to you on this fine day!

I was grateful to be on Chris Fabry Live on Moody Radio yesterday and on the Disciple-Making Parent Podcast last week.
Amazon has lots of deals today, including on their devices like the Kindle Paperwhite, Kindle Oasis, Fire tablet, Echo, and Echo Show.
(Yesterday on the blog: Today … I’m Thankful)
Released: Logos 10
There’s exciting news from Faithlife: Logos 10 has released. I have been using it for a couple of weeks now and am impressed with it. If you buy or upgrade from the link I’ve provided, you’ll get 15% off if you’re buying the first time and 30% off an upgrade. You’ll also get 5 free resources that you can pick from a good-sized list.
The disastrous moral harm of California’s transgender ‘refuge’ bill
“This type of bill coming from one of the most populous and influential states in the union is deeply concerning and immoral, as it will lead to irreparable harm for children, youth, and their families. What’s being promoted is a false view of the self under the auspices of moral autonomy and freedom — especially toward children and youth — that is at odds with basic biological and moral realities.”
When Narcissism Comes to Church
Samuel James has some very important and urgent concerns about a new book related to narcissism within the church.
5 Things You Should Know about Creeds
Keith Mathison: “Most Christians have heard of things like the Nicene Creed or the Apostles’ Creed, but many Christians also have a number of misconceptions about creeds. There is a lot of misunderstanding about the nature, history, and purpose of creeds. Here are five things you should know about creeds.”
The fruit of giving out a few books
I love few things more than giving away books, so this article resonated with me.
Will My Spouse Be My Best Friend in Heaven?
John Piper answers this question in his latest Ask Pastor John.
Flashback: Longing for What’s Second Best
While we can and should pray for those things we long for, we should always pray that what we long for would be according to God’s will.

Jesus is in the rain and the shadow as much as in the light that breaks from the east at dawn. —F.B. Meyer

This article is written by Dr. Jeff Myers and is sponsored by Baker Books. In his new book, Truth Changes Everything, Dr. Myers tells the fascinating stories of Jesus followers who lived for Truth and transformed their world in times of crisis. These determined and often quirky figures led the way in human dignity, science, art, medicine, education, politics, justice, and even the idea of meaningful work. If you sense that we live in hopeless days, it’s time to discover how Truth changes everything, everywhere, all the time. Preorder Truth Changes Everything wherever books are sold.

Caleb was forty years old when Moses tasked him, along with Joshua and ten other men, to spy on the land of God’s promise. Numbers 13 lists all their names, but we remember only Caleb and Joshua. The ten forgotten spies surrendered to the enemy of despair without even drawing their swords.
These ten fearful spies announced that the Anakim, the people of the land, were giants living in fortified cities. This was a fact. Yet it shouldn’t have mattered: God had promised that the children of Israel would inhabit the land. Even though the spies had seen God’s miraculous acts many times, fear overruled their faith. God’s chosen people consequently traipsed around the desert for another forty years.
Fast-forward. After forty years of wandering and five years of settling in the promised land, Caleb appeared before Joshua and said, “I am this day eighty-five years old. I am still as strong today as I was in the day that Moses sent me; my strength now is as my strength was then” (Josh. 14:10–11).
How many octogenarians can honestly make the claim that Caleb made? How many people of any age maintain readiness for the battles they face?
What Caleb said next is even more astounding: “So now give me this hill country of which the Lord spoke on that day, for you heard on that day how the Anakim were there, with great fortified cities. It may be that the Lord will be with me, and I shall drive them out just as the Lord said” (Josh. 14:12).
“Give me the land where the giants still are,” Caleb said, in essence. At age eighty-five. Every day for forty-five years Caleb honed his skills, telling himself, “God promised that the giants would fall, and fall they will. Even if I’m an old man when it happens.”
Caleb never lost sight of God’s promise. He stood in the land of giants.
The loss of Truth is a giant-sized problem in our day. Its real-life consequences are severe. Seventy-five percent of young adults say that they are unsure of their purpose in life. Nearly half are counted as having one or more types of mental illness (such as anxiety and depression). Fully half of young adults say that there is “no absolute value associated with human life.”
We are tempted to say, “Truth has been lost. History is at an end.” Yet the testimony of Jesus followers who changed the world is one of hope. We can understand the times and know what course we ought to take (1 Chron. 12:32). Faith can triumph over fear.
In the past, Truth changed everything. It can do the same for us amid the unique challenges of our current age. We, too, can find Truth and share it without fear, whether around the water cooler, at the Thanksgiving table, in the laboratory, or in the halls of power.
Now is the time to take an unflinching look at what Truth is and why it is under attack. Now is the time to sit at the feet of Jesus followers who, in times of great crisis, stood for Truth. Now is the time of choosing for our own age. If ever we needed Truth, it is now.
 

It’s Thanksgiving today here in Canada. Because we like to get this holiday out of the way long before the Christmas season begins, we celebrate it in early October as opposed to late November like our neighbors to the south. But apart from the different date and the different national history, it is otherwise much the same in its purpose, meaning, and even menus and rituals. We are particularly pleased this year to have my sister and her family visiting us from the US now that the borders are back to a state of normalcy (when entering Canada, at least—there are still restrictions when entering the US).

I have just returned from a week spent a few hours north of the city where I was able to settle into a little house by a lake to work on some writing projects. That involved final edits to the second volume of the “Words from the Wise” series of devotional books. This one is titled Understanding and Trusting Our Great God and will be released in July. Like Knowing and Enjoying God before it, it combines brief devotionals with “SquareQuote” graphics similar to the ones I share through social media each day. The theme of this volume is the character of God and its purpose is to convince people to know God and, thereby, to love and trust him. It is based on that most beautiful answer from the Westminster Shorter Catechism: “God is a spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in his being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.” I’ll have more to say about it soon. I’ll also have more to say about the project I began—a project that should lead to a book that will release in 2024. I am very thankful to have been able to escape from the city for a while to a location that is serene and inspiring.
On that note, I’m so thankful to know God. I’m thankful that I was introduced to him from a young age and taught about his character and works. God has been so kind to me and to my family through these past two difficult years and so present with us. I don’t know how I could have endured sorrow and loss without knowing him, trusting him, and deeply depending upon him. If there are any stories to be told about Nick’s life and death, or any stories to be told about the two years since he went to be with Jesus, God has to be the central figure in them all. He’s proven himself a kind and loving Father again and again and again.
And that leads to this: I’m thankful to have an object for my gratitude. I’m grateful that I do not need to merely feel thankful, but that I can actually give thanks—give thanks to the one who is the giver of all good gifts. If I couldn’t direct my praise and thanks to him, I sometimes think my heart would burst and sometimes think it would shrivel up and whither altogether. I suppose the latter option is probably the more likely one. I thank God that I can thank God.
Finally, I’m thankful for the beauty I was able to enjoy in northern Ontario—beauty that increased throughout the week as more and more of the leaves turned vibrant shades of yellow, orange, and red. The color peaked on the very day we made a long but dawdling drive home—a drive I mapped out as I scoured Google Maps’ satellite view for deciduous forests. That was the right decision! A couple of days prior I witnessed one of the most wondrous sunsets of my life—a sunset so beautiful that it couldn’t help but provoke worship and awe. As is my custom (and hobby) I snapped a few photos along the way. If you’d like a glimpse of some beauty, then perhaps you can give them a look. (Note: a few of these were actually taken a few weeks back closer to home.)

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians!

Today’s Kindle deals include several volumes of the excellent Preaching the Word series of commentaries (which are ideal for devotional reading or sermon preparation or anything in between).
(Yesterday on the blog: Seasons of Sorrow Application Questions & Group Study Guide)
When My Iranian Friend Took Mohler’s Parking Spot
This one gave me a laugh. “‘Hi, this is campus po-lees,’ began the thick Kentucky accent. ‘Are you A.W.?’ ‘I am. Is everything OK?’ I replied, suddenly nervous. ‘Well… I got an Eye-rain-eeun here who says he’s comin’ to your place, but I caught him parkin’ in the president’s parking spot.’”
Gather to Grow
Karen tells of how she left the local church and what eventually brought her back.
Hearts Painted by the Word Again and Again
“The job of painting the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is never-ending. I heard once that they paint it end-to-end, but by the time they get to the end—however many years that may take—it is time to start over.” This leads to a helpful reflection.
The Reformation Ideal of Marriage
Michael Haykin: “Our memory of what took place during the sixteenth-century Reformation has been somewhat selective. As heirs of Reformed Protestantism, we have remembered it chiefly as a recovery of the gospel and the biblical way of worship. But we also need to recall it as a great recovery of the biblical understanding of marriage.”
Offers of Safety Are Not Always Safe
“When my children were young, I thought the best way to protect them from the evils of the world was avoidance. And that may be true for the very young. But as they grew up, I realized they were going to be young men out in the world some day. It would be better to teach them what was right and wrong with the things they would face.”
Reading Across the Chapter Breaks in 2 Timothy
This article reminds us that chapter breaks in the Bible are not original and sometimes very unhelpful.
Flashback: Rule #5: Ponder the Brevity of Life (8 Rules for Growing in Godliness)
Even the greatest believers will still be laden by sin as they cross the finish and receive their crown. The holiest saints will still be stained with sin, drawn to evil. It is only in the presence of Christ where they will experience final deliverance from the power of sin and final transformation to complete holiness.

The man who measures himself by the size of his bank balance will never have enough money to seem big in his own eyes. —Al Stewart