From time to time I like to share an example of a pastoral prayer that was prayed at Grace Fellowship Church. The pastoral prayer is a time for one of the pastors or elders to pray before the congregation and to intercede on their behalf. It’s a precious element of a service. I prayed this prayer earlier this month.

Our Father in heaven, what a joy it is that we can call you “Father.” You rule over this earth, but don’t tell us to pray to “your majesty.” You are high and lifted up, but you don’t tell us to address you as “your highness.” You are judge of the living and the dead, but don’t tell us to say “your honor.” Instead you invite us to call you “our Father.” And so we don’t speak to you today as subjects before a king, or citizens before an emperor, or plaintiffs before a judge—we speak to you as children before a father. We speak as children who are confident that our Father loves us, confident that our Father hears us, confident that our Father is eager to act for our good.
Father, we have already confessed that we are like sheep who have gone astray. But we are also like children who have rebelled against a kind and benevolent father, a father who has only ever loved us, a father who has only ever acted in ways that benefited us. We have chosen to defy you, to revolt against your authority, to go so far as to wish you were dead. We are so sorry. And we are so thankful that you continued to love us, that you continued to care about us, that you patiently and willingly drew us to yourself. What a God you are! What a Father you are!
For those of us who are fathers, we pray that we would learn from you, that we would model our fathering after yours, that we would look to the way you relate to us and extend all of that mercy, all of that love, all of that compassion to the children you’ve blessed us with. Let us love as we have been loved. Let us be fathers in the way you are a Father.
Father, we thank you for the many precious gifts you’ve given us, not the least of which is this church. Thank you that since we are all your children and you are Father to us all, you’ve drawn us together into this community, this family.
We thank you for granting us the gift of elders and deacons and Father we ask that they would serve well, that the elders would lead on your behalf and that the deacons would serve on your behalf. And we pray that you would grant us more elders and more deacons. You promise that if we ask according to your will you will listen and you will provide. We know it is your will for a church to be led by elders and served by deacons, so we ask that you would raise up members of this church who would be called, and qualified, and willing to serve as elders. We pray that you would raise up members of this church who would be called, and qualified, and willing to serve as deacons. We see this as a great need in this church and so we pray that you would grant what we ask. We pray that you would burden individuals to serve and we pray that you would grant wisdom to the members so we can identify those people and simply acknowledge your calling on their life.
We thank you that you are not Father only to the people in this congregation but to Christians throughout the world, throughout the country, throughout the city. We think today of our brothers and sisters at [nearby local church] on the east side of Toronto. Please bless them as they meet to worship you today. Please bless [pastor] as he pastors that church. He has served there faithfully for many years and we ask that you would grant him many more. We pray that you would help the people of that church to serve as a faithful and committed part of your family right here in this city.
And Father as we turn to the Word, to hear it read and preached, we ask that you would help us listen attentively and apply diligently. We pray that we would listen as children who so badly need the wisdom of their Father, as children who are committed to imitating their Father, and as children who long to please their Father. I pray that you would speak and we would listen—that you, who are perfect and unchanging, would do a great work within us who are imperfect and in desperate need of change. Please let us leave here today as children who have heard from their Father, who have grown in love and trust for their Father, and who are eager to be like their Father.
We pray all this in the name of our precious Savior, our elder brother, Jesus Christ. Amen.

May the God of love and peace be with you on this fine day.

At Westminster Books this week you can get a deal on Richard Gamble’s massive three-volume series on the whole counsel of God.
(Yesterday on the blog: What Matters Is Not the Size of Your Faith)
Stop Binding Consciences And Marking Spirituality By Christmas Celebrations
This is a good and necessary reminder. “Christmas is not in the Bible. You don’t have to do it and you don’t have to avoid it either. We are entirely free. Your spiritual temperature is not determined by whether you celebrate Christmas or not. Neither does your love for Jesus depend on whether you manage to make Jesus the absolute epicentre of your celebration, with every bauble reflecting gospel truth, or you just enjoy having a nice time and give thanks to God for it like you would any other enjoyable thing. None of it, really, tells you very much about your love for Christ.”
The Gospel of Jesus’ Wife Fiasco
If you’ve never read about the fiasco related to Jesus’ supposed wife, this article may be of interest. (Also consider reading the book Veritas which offers far more detail).
Bethlehem’s Supernatural Star
This is a helpful thought from John Piper: “I risk a generalization to warn you: people who are exercised and preoccupied with such things, as how the star worked and how the Red Sea split and how the manna fell and how Jonah survived the fish and how the moon turns to blood, are generally people who have what I call a mentality for the marginal.”
The Most Miserable Time of the Year
Sticking with the Christmas theme, here’s Al Gooderham on getting Christmas wrong. “Yes our world so often loses Jesus in the suffocating press of the tinsel and gifts and experiences and meals. But what if we had too? What if instead of haranguing society and preaching a gospel that seems to be dead against joy we showed them what they were missing?”
Who Wrote Hebrews? Exploring a New Testament Mystery
Here’s a fairly lengthy look at one of those age-old mysteries.
The Life of Naomi and How Adversity Disguises God at Work
Deborah McQuilkin: “My life as a Christian is not what I expected. In fact, at one point I said to God, ‘Is this worth it? Thirty years I have followed you as closely as possible, and this is how it turns out? Should I just leave you now? What is the point?’ Shock and disappointment filled my heart and I wondered what my life meant.”
Flashback: Sexual Revolution, Same Old Revolution
Today we are watching people all around us revolt away from justice, away from truth, away from common sense, away from the common good. The revolution rages around us and sometimes within us.

Shaky preaching tends to make shaky Christians. —Theodore Cuyler

I have said a lot about Nick over the past two years. I have written a lot articles and done quite a number of interviews and even published a book. And I have been aware all the while that I can only speak to a small part of our loss, for there were many people who loved Nick and many who lost him. Today is the second anniversary of his death and I asked Aileen if she felt ready to write something. She said she did, and so today I am turning things over to her.

❖
When I was in Nashville for the Seasons of Sorrow book launch, Tim was asked several times “how are your wife and daughters doing?” It was asked often enough that, upon reflection, I think people understand that Tim has been nuancing the way he talks about my experience with grief as well as that of our girls. He has been very careful to only give voice to his experience of the last few years, and to word it in such a way that people don’t assume that the rest of the family’s experience necessarily matches his. I love him for this, and appreciate it very much. After all, Tim’s story is only part of the story. That’s because a dad’s grief is different from a mom’s grief. This makes sense. God has created each person to be unique which means each person’s experience of grief is unique. Each person’s relationship with the deceased is different as well, and this lends itself to differences in how each person grieves him. Adding another layer of complexity, each circumstance of loss is different as well. As we hear from people who have lost loved ones, I am continually struck by how different and unique each situation is, how grief shows differently in each person and each circumstance. This must be another example of how we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Tim recently asked if for the second anniversary of Nick’s death I would be willing to write something about it—something that may help answer the question of how I am doing.
I was told it would probably take about two years before I felt anything close to back to normal, and it very much feels like the end of year two is the beginning of a new season. Because of this, it feels appropriate to look back and ponder what I am thankful for.
I am thankful for God preparing me.
God has been kind. He gave us one of the hardest things and yet he also gave so much to help us survive. Looking back, I now see how he prepared me years ago to weather such a storm. He blessed me by giving me a bedrock of theology that in my weakest moment I had to simply deploy. I can see how he gave us what we needed moment by moment to continue to walk in faith through such suffering. When nothing felt true, when God didn’t feel kind, when he didn’t feel good, when he didn’t feel just, I had a choice: I could choose to believe what my heart and my emotions were telling me—that God was cruel, unkind and unjust—or I could choose to believe what my mind knew to be true of God’s character and trust that eventually my emotions would catch up to my brain. There are days when this is still a struggle, but I have learned not to trust my feelings. Emotions cannot inform truth. Rather, truth must inform emotions. God didn’t abandon us, he walked with us and prepared us.  I had to choose to see his presence, but he was there.  I am so thankful in his mercy he prepared me.
I am thankful for God’s sovereignty.
God’s sovereignty is both comforting and terrifying at the same time. I think in the abstract I knew the Lord could choose to do anything he wanted in our lives. But suddenly, on November 3, I learned dramatically that he actually will do anything. Even so, I am so thankful God is in control. This situation would be only worse if God had no control over it. God had every right to chose this for us. I may not much like it, but I know he has purpose in it. As humans we seem to have a driving need to understand why things are happening. It makes us feel better if we can attribute a specific purpose to the hardships we are experiencing. But the reality is that in our human weakness and frailty, God has not given us that ability. We can guess, we can suspect, but we cannot know. God instead gives us knowledge of his sovereignty, and asks us to trust, by faith, that all things work together for our good and his glory. How this is true in Nick’s death I do not know. I don’t expect to ever know, on this earth, the full purpose of this suffering in our lives. But, I do know one day it will all make sense. I can wait, patiently, trusting in God’s character. I am thankful he sees the big picture, that he is in control of all things, and that nothing happens outside his will. I am thankful that God is sovereign.
I am thankful this is temporary.
I also know that as hard as this is, it is all temporary. Initially we divided the days up by doing the next hard thing. That might have been the call to the coroner or the call to the funeral home. It might have been picking out clothing or packing up belongings. But for a long while our life was divided into segments, defined by the next hard thing we had to do. As time has gone on those hard things have grown further apart. Even so, the reality is we will always have the next hard thing we have to do. Life in this fallen world dictates it. But one day, there will no longer be the next hard thing. I am so thankful that this world is not our home. Until that day, when the Lord calls me home, my job on this earth is not yet done. So I will wait patiently, enduring what I need to until one day there will be no more mourning, no more crying or pain, and every tear will be wiped away and death shall be no more. I am so thankful this is temporary.
Lastly, I am thankful I got to be Nick’s mom.
I have wanted to tell you all about Nick, but as I began to write this out I found that I still can’t. Another time perhaps, when the pain is a little less raw, when my heart hurts just little bit less, I’ll be able to share a bit more about my firstborn, the one who first made me a mom. God in his mercy gave me a son who brought light and joy to my life for 20 years. Despite all the sadness, I am so very thankful I got to be a mom to my Nick.
A few days after Nick’s death I wrote to a friend of mine and I expressed my longing for the day joy would return. I knew logically that one day it would come, but looking forward all I could see was heartache and sorrow. These have been hard, hard days. But God in his kindness and mercy has sustained us. We have grieved and mourned and wept. But as the two-year mark draws to a close, I am seeing that joy return—joy that is less tainted by sorrow. I am thankful. God has been present. And I think I will end here as I have ended every note I have written in the last two years: God is still good.
This is a special photo as it captured the first moment Nick began to respond to Aileen and ‘talk’ back to her.