Hey Pastor, You Killed my Friend…
As Christians, we understand that the Gospel is not violence, at least not in the way that the world accuses it. For, while the Gospel does attack the parts of us which are deader than dead, it also brings never-ending life that replaces our death and can never be taken away. The Gospel damaging our sinful flesh brings life in the same way the surgeon’s scalpel cuts away the cancer to preserve the patient. Therefore, to withhold the Gospel, which is the only cure for the malady of man, would be the only actual violence we could ever perpetrate against humanity.
INTRO
A kind of fragile despair has crept into the modern mind so that it can no longer be safely challenged. To question the thoughts, or the lifestyle, of another person or group has become the moral equivalent of executing violence against them. Or so we are told. To say that this or that thing is morally wrong, and needs to be repented from, is to become culpable for their suicide. This was the ugly goblet of shame recently dumped on my unsuspecting head.
In a private message on Facebook, I was asked the following questions by a random user:
“Do you think my friend deserved all the abuse and pain that she took? Are you happy that she’s dead? Do you hate my friend? Pastor, did you want transgender people to kill themselves? Is that what you wanted?”
These questions were shocking to me. Not only does my very existence (and Biblical beliefs) threaten the life of another human being, but the only acceptable recourse offered is for me to no longer call transgenderism a sin. As a Christian, I cannot comply here. According to this logic, either I will disobey God by turning a blind eye toward sin or become a serial killer with bloodstains on my hands. This is the highly polarized perspective I was invited into.
But, as I was thinking about this exchange, I realized that this is precisely what persecution will look like in the modern world. When a Christian shares truth from Scripture, even in the most gentle and loving ways, we will not be beaten, beheaded, or thrown in prison. At least not yet. More likely, we will be accused of murdering people with ideas. We will be endlessly boycotted and ever hated by people who do not have the love of Christ and, as a result, have an endless supply of fury to spew in our direction for a thousand lifetimes.
The message continues:
“You’ve made an enemy. Until you stop your vendetta, die, or move away, I guess I’m just going to have to fight you forever.”
As Christians, how are we to think about messages such as this?
REMEMBER, WHO WE ARE
Before we move on to strategy, we need to remember who we are in Christ. We are people who have been ransomed out of the kingdom of darkness and brought into God’s marvelous Kingdom of dazzling Light (Col. 1:13). Before Jesus rescued us, we were enslaved by our aberrant passions (Ti 3:3) and consumed by all malice and disgusting rebellions (Ro. 1:29-32; Gal. 5:19-21; 1 Co. 6:9-10). There was nothing at all different between the most flagrant sinners on earth and us, which is, in fact, where God stepped in (1 Cor. 6:11). From that wicked and lowly estate, the Lord Jesus Christ set His electing affections upon us and purchased us out of the thralls of sin to become His slaves of righteousness (Ro. 6:17-18). Now, as people who belong to Him, we declare our allegiance and adorations, our loyalty and love, by no longer gratifying our former lusts (Gal 5:16; Eph. 2:1-8), but by killing the flesh (Ro. 8:13), so that we can be obedient to Him (John 14:15; Eph 2:10). That loving and loyal obedience requires that we will go, do, and say whatever He commands (Luke 6:46), which involves nothing less than discipling the pagan nations to know what Jesus thinks concerning all things (Mt. 28:18-20). Essentially, being a Christian means joining Jesus’ campaign to conform the world (the world we once belonged to) into His beautifying redemptive vision. That work requires sharing the Gospel (Mk 16:15).
REMEMBER, WHAT WE ARE CALLED TO SHARE
Now, to share something, we must first know what that thing is. We can only speak intelligently about a thing if we fully comprehend what that thing is. For that reason, a brief sketch of the Gospel is in order, followed by some common lies that the world will accuse us of when we are vigilant in sharing God’s truth.
The Gospel is God’s loving offer of reconciliation and compassion to seedy rebels (Ro. 5:8). It is an offer executed by Christ alone (Jn 14:6), applied by His Spirit alone (1 Pt. 3:18) for the salvation of those He predestined alone (Eph. 1:5; Ro. 8:28-30). It is a message meant to be communicated by the very ones it saves (Ac. 1:9). It is a message we are called to become increasingly familiar with and effective at sharing (Phm 9). And it is a message that has certain essential elements that must be included if it is to be considered a “Gospel message.” Those elements are as follows.
The Gospel begins with the bad news that we deserve death for our rebellion against God (Gen 3:19; Ro.1:32) and that we cannot repair the relationship by our own fickle virtue (Eph 2:8-9). The Gospel tells us that our sin is the poison that is killing us slowly (Ja. 1:15), and it is the toxic venom that will ensure our everlasting death in agony forever (Rev. 21:8). Because we are utterly helpless to rescue ourselves salvation must come from God alone (Jnh 2:9), which is why God sent the Lord Jesus Christ to save His people from their sin (Jn. 3:16).
That rescue plan required Christ perfectly obeying the law that you and I had perfectly transgressed (Heb. 4:15). It would involve God crediting us with the righteous status of Jesus Christ (Phil 3:9) while pouring our sin and our rebellions onto Him (2 Co. 5:21). Christ would trade places with us, giving us His life and freedom, taking our misery and shame down into the grave (Gal 3:13-14) and bringing us new life in His resurrection (Ro. 6:6). For Christ Jesus on the third day, rose from the dead, being exalted above all things (Phil 2:9), securing redemption for all His lowly people (1 Co. 1:16-17), and making Christ the author and perfecter of our salvation (Heb 12:2). Then, after ascending into heaven, to reign at the right hand of God (Ro. 8:34), He is now pouring out His Spirit onto all whom He chooses (Jn. 6:63; Ac. 2:33), so that they will have faith in Christ alone (Ro. 15:13), and so that the Spirit will help them declare His Gospel alone (Jn 16:13; Ac. 4:12; Ro. 10:14).
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Who Was John Lafayette Girardeau?
By the books bearing his name, one could easily be led to think John Girardeau was a philosophical theologian of ivory tower standing. That was true, but he was first and foremost, by heart, a missionary to the poor and needy of the South Carolina Lowcountry.
On November 14, 1825, John Lafayette Girardeau was born to Claudia Herne Girardeau and John Bohun Girardeau on James Island, South Carolina. He was of French Huguenot and Scottish Presbyterian stock. The local field school trained him in the three Rs (“reading, ‘riting, and ‘rithmetic”) and more. When he was eight, his mother died, and he was sent to live in Charleston to complete his secondary education at the German Friendly Society School on Archdale Street. By age eighteen, he held valedictorian honors and a diploma in classical languages from the College of Charleston.
After studying for the ministry in the theological seminary in Columbia, he returned to the Lowcountry to pursue a life as a Presbyterian minister. He served churches near McClellanville and at Adam’s Run before he was summoned to “the Holy City” of Charleston in 1854 to assume leadership of the nascent work among the enslaved men and women there. This work was initiated by Second Presbyterian Church in 1847. He inherited a Gothic structure seating some five hundred people on Anson Street, which had been built in 1850 expressly for the slaves of Charleston. By 1859, they had outgrown their facility and moved into a mammoth structure on Calhoun Street near the corner of Meeting Street. The building was the largest church building in town, seating 1,500. They named it Zion Presbyterian Church. In Charleston, Girardeau became known as “the grandest preacher in all our Southland” and was called by one renowned minister, “the Spurgeon of America.”
Facing monumental opposition from racists, Girardeau and the white elders of Zion provided an extensive religious education program for the slaves. So successful were the elders in orally instructing the congregation in the catechism, hymns, and psalms of the church that some citizens thought they were violating the civil law which forbade teaching slaves to read and write. Girardeau also held wedding services, “til death do us part,” in the prominent church structure on Calhoun Street. Residents objected to this, concerned about the “freedom” the black membership had to stroll the streets in fine clothing.
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Leaving a Church Well
It is possible, in certain circumstances, to depart from a congregation in a loving way. Then there are ways one can depart from a congregation which leaves a wake of pain and suffering behind. One way honors the Lord and the other harms His people.
Today’s article is going to be difficult and could be painful for some. It may be controversial. How does one leave their local congregation? How does a Christian leave a congregation of people they love?
There are a myriad of reasons for a person to leave a congregation. Sometimes these reasons are good and sometimes these reasons are poor. The reality of the American church is that religion has been democratized. Members of a congregation may vote with their feet. Members may walk out and go to another church down the road or on the other side of town. Elders may attempt to shepherd well and encourage members to stay. However, there seems to be times in which the Lord’s people will do as they please.
What this article will not do is evaluate the plethora of reasons why one would leave their home church. This article is not about leaving a church in which there are moral failings or doctrinal errors. There are times in which, for the glory of God and care for one’s family, immediate departure should occur. That is not who this article is written for. Rather, this article is written for those who are considering a transfer to another congregation for non moral reasons.
The reader will find six principles to implement if you feel you must leave your present congregation.
There are ways in which one can leave the congregation well. It is possible, in certain circumstances, to depart from a congregation in a loving way. Then there are ways one can depart from a congregation which leaves a wake of pain and suffering behind. One way honors the Lord and the other harms His people.
Principle No. 1—Be clear why you are considering to leave.
For many who leave their home congregations the process starts as a subjective feeling that something is not right or is not working. It is important not to trust one’s feelings. The heart is deceitfully wicked and should not be trusted. Christians ought to question our feelings. We ought to stop and ask ourselves, “Why am I feeling this way.”
Too frequently Christians have vague ideas about why they feel as if they no longer belong in a congregation. Has there been a shift in the philosophy of ministry within the congregation? Have circumstances in your life changed in such a way that make travel an undue burden? Has there been a demographic change in the congregation that has left your family isolated? Have there been doctrinal shifts either in yourself or in the congregation? Has there been a lack of discipleship or a stagnation of spiritual growth?
Far too often many members have vague notions of why they feel they ought to leave. In the Reformed Presbyterian Church membership is formal and covenantal. Members make promises to God, the elders, and the congregation. The affirmations and promises which a member answers forms a binding relationship that ought to be taken with solemnity and sobriety. To break this relationship on opaque feelings is disingenuous and unloving.
You feeling that something is off may not be entirely incorrect. There may be things that need to change. There may be improvements that could occur in the local congregation. There may be ministries that need to be created to shepherd and disciple. There may be a reality to time, finances, family growth, job changes, and etc. that have caused a shift in one’s ability to continue to be a growing and active participant in their local congregation. Again, there are a myriad of practical and even biblical reasons why one may need to transfer their membership. Knowing exactly why you are considering a change is of the upmost importance. Have a concrete why.
Once you have your concrete why go and search the scriptures. Search out the Lord’s Word to see if there is Biblical warrant for your reasons. There may not be one proof text for your concern. However, you may search the Scriptures and find passages or themes that speak toward your concern. Maybe your why is that there has not been enough emphasis on evangelism. Maybe your why is that the congregation is growing but certain groups of people are being overlooked in discipleship and fellowship. Your why may be that there is plenty of doctrinal fidelity but there is a real lack of opportunity to fellowship and be in communion with other members. It could be that you have noticed the Scriptures time and again speaking of a care for the poor and orphans but you have not noticed that same emphasis in your present congregation.
Being crystal clear about why you are considering a change will help you in principle number two.
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And God Said, and It Was So
We, therefore, are the ones who must be changed in order to suit the world, not the other way around. Thankfully, this is the very thing God has promised to do in the new birth. Through the giving of His Son and the pouring out of His Spirit, God has begun a new creation in the hearts of His people that will not be eclipsed by sin or decay.
As is the case today, so it was true in the ancient world that pagan creation myths begin with chaos. Whether we think of Marduk subjugating the Babylonian deities to create the sky and earth, or the Darwinian forces of natural selection working to bring order out of an inherently disordered universe, pagan thinking always begins with rivalry. The order we perceive throughout the cosmos, in other words, is not the result of sovereign and almighty wisdom, but rather the conclusion of a violent struggle between competing powers. And the strongest wins. “Might makes right,” to the unbelieving mind.
The Scriptures, however, turn this pattern on its head. In contrast to the fundamentally chaotic character of both ancient and modern pagan thought, the Bible presents God as He truly is: the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth. As the repeated phrase “And God said…And it was so” demonstrates with sterling clarity, the God of the Bible contends with no one for His seat on the throne of the universe. He simply speaks and reality is shaped according to His will:
Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him! For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm. (Ps. 33:8)
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