“Your church lacks community.”

“You botched caring for me during my husband’s affair.”

“You are not a warm church.”

“Too much red tape at the church.”

“The church is too big.”

“Your scripted prayers seem silly.”

Ouch, I thought when reading these words. These were comments directed at our church, our people, and our leadership. Each critique stung like a handful of gravel hitting my face. As anyone in leadership knows, criticism stings. Though we asked for this feedback from departing members, criticism is never pleasant when it comes.

As biting as such disapproval can be, however, it’s still better than open hostilities and quarreling. Disagreement, misunderstandings, frustration, and disunity can tear at the seams of Christ’s church. Conflict leads to hurt feelings, judged motives, and flared tempers. Church members might take sides. Gossip and whispers spread like wildfire, and soon the forest is raging. If criticism is like a sprained ankle, conflict is the fracture.

Conflict Goes Way Back

Conflict and criticism in the church are inevitable at times. Life is messy, full of bumps and bruises. The church is a gathering of sinners who unfortunately still sin. Misunderstandings happen. Sharp words cut and attack, impossible to reel back in. Criticism can lead to conflict and conflict to criticism, running on a dreadful treadmill of hurt and pain. The last several years brought about increased friction in many churches, but conflict is not new. Disunity that divides churches has been around since the beginning.

In Philippians, Paul entreats two beloved co-laborers of the gospel — Euodia and Syntyche — to “agree in the Lord” (Philippians 4:2). These two women have labored side by side with Paul, and their names are written in the book of life (Philippians 4:3). They are genuine followers of Christ who were “together for the gospel” but are now divided by some sharp disagreement that has become known to the entire church. Church conflict is as old as the church.

Addressing conflict is not easy work. It’s like plunging the toilet: messy, unpleasant, but necessary. Ignoring conflict only exacerbates it, like closing the basement door as the black mold creeps up the walls. It’s not going to go away by itself, and the results will be catastrophic.

Three Ways to Lead in Conflict

How, then, can pastors and elders move toward the fray rather than retreat? Like courageous first responders who run toward chaos, how can pastors be ready to engage conflict with courage, conviction, humility, and gentleness?

It’s no easy task. Some can be paralyzed by fear of man and fear of failure. Still others are much too eager to jump into battle. Like prizefighters eager to find sparring partners, such pastors are unfit to engage. Consider Paul’s wise words to the young Timothy:

The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:24–26)

“Pastors cannot run from conflict, nor can they be too eager to fight.”

We see the difficulty of the task. Pastors cannot run from conflict, nor can they be too eager to fight. Kindness, patience, and gentleness must accompany the willingness to engage, exhort, admonish, and rebuke. How does one thread the needle? What truths help Christian pastors and leaders engage in conflict willingly, without relishing the next quarrel? Consider three foundational beliefs for those who seek to serve in conflict.

1. Humbly remember this is God’s church.

First, remember that the church is not yours. Moses models this humble attitude. After the exodus, God’s anger is stirred up against Israel’s idolatrous worship of the golden calf. What does Moses do? He intercedes by reminding God “that this nation is your people” (Exodus 33:13). Moses makes clear that Israel isn’t his people, but God’s. He models humble dependence upon God to work among his people for their good.

The parallel for pastors is this: humbly remember that the church is Christ’s church. When conflict comes, spiritual leaders are wise to resist the urge to fix things in their own strength and wisdom. Jesus is sanctifying his church. He is eager to give his help, his wisdom, and his grace for the good of his church. Pastors are also wise to remember they, and their churches, are being sanctified. Lessons remain to be learned; grace remains to be given; more wisdom is yet to be bestowed. God works in and through conflict for the good of his people. Remember, Jesus is the master carpenter, crafting his ultimate creation, the glorious church of God.

Pastors, pray like King Solomon as he faced the daunting task of leading God’s people:

Now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of David my father, although I am but a little child. I do not know how to go out or come in. . . . Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people? (1 Kings 3:7, 9)

Humbly pray for discernment to lead the great people of God. Ask for wisdom from the God who gives generously and lavishly, for the benefit of his church (James 1:5).

2. Humbly remember Christ’s example.

Second, emulate Christ’s example of selflessness and sacrifice. Pastors are undershepherds who take cues from the chief Shepherd himself. And Jesus “emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. . . . He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:7–8). All believers, and especially leaders, are called to imitate his humility, servanthood, and sacrifice.

“Nothing will undermine leadership more quickly than selfishness and a lack of humility.”

Selfish ambition, conceit, envy, and rivalry have no place in the church, much less among the church’s leaders. Some of the strongest condemnations in Scripture are against the self-serving shepherds of Ezekiel 34. God’s people were scattered, devoured, and preyed upon by Israel’s shepherds. Nothing will undermine leadership more quickly than selfishness and a lack of humility. God’s servants must indeed be servants, humbly obeying the master. Pastors are to “share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 2:3). We pastors serve at the pleasure of the King. We are under authority. When armed with the mind of Christ, pastors are able to maintain the unity of the Spirit, outdo one another in honor, and “reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching” (2 Timothy 4:2).

As pastors, we put aside personal preferences and opinions, and seek to serve as Christ would have us, exhibiting his selflessness and patience. We eagerly and humbly embrace the role of servant as undershepherds of Christ.

3. Humbly speak the truth in love.

Finally, speak the truth in love. Godly pastors exhibit an unswerving commitment to truthfulness that is honed and shaped by a deep, abiding love for God’s people. They cultivate Paul-like love, yearning for their people with the affection of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:8). Their words build up rather than tear down; their speech is loving. What they say, even while admonishing, is infused with gentleness and care. Their teaching has the essence of love coupled with the unflinching truth.

It’s here that many a pastor has gone astray. The temptation to appease, placate, and quell conflict and tension is great. Yet, undershepherds’ words are to be “gracious, seasoned with salt,” never lies or half-truths masquerading as graciousness (Colossians 4:6). Pastors are to “set the believers an example in speech” (1 Timothy 4:12). With Paul, pastors renounce all the disgraceful, underhanded ways of the world (2 Corinthians 4:2).

Candid speech sheds light, rather than obscuring. So, pastors stubbornly let their yes be yes and their no be no (James 5:12). We seek to be tenaciously true to our words. We labor not to undermine the trust we have been given by God to be heralds of the great truth of the gospel. We resist any temptation to mollify critics by modifying the truth. Instead, we refuse to tamper with the truth, but proclaim the truth in love so that the church might grow up into Christ (Ephesians 4:15).

Hope in God Who Is Working

In the midst of choppy waters, remember God’s promise to his servants and to his people. God promises undershepherds a glorious reward: “When the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory” (1 Peter 5:4). Conflict and criticism will never be easy, but the pains and labors will be small compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ.

Similarly, God promises his people that he will complete the good work he has begun (Philippians 1:6). The church is being sanctified so that it will be pure and blameless for the day of Christ. Hold onto that promise as a raft of hope as you dive into the choppy waters for the good of Christ’s church.

Audio Transcript

Welcome back to the podcast on this Monday, and thanks for listening. Tomorrow we read Isaiah 62–64 together in our Bible reading plan. And that leads to today’s question from a listener named Mattie: “Pastor John, hello to you! I’m a doer. I’m always doing the next thing. I have a lot of energy. If I see something I need, or that others need, I get to work. And then I read a verse like this one in Isaiah: ‘No eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him’ (Isaiah 64:4). I’m not a wait-er. I don’t wait for anything. My groceries, my coffee — everything — I preorder on an app so I can just drive up to the store and get my stuff and drive off. What does an active person like me need to learn about waiting on God to act? What does waiting look like for an active person like me?”

Tony, one of the things that you and I both hope for in doing these podcasts is that, over time, people will not only get answers from the Bible to their questions but will learn how to go to the Bible and get answers for themselves. And it may be helpful with this particular question to give a simple glimpse into how I prepare to answer a question like this, or how she might answer her own question.

Searching the Scriptures for Ourselves

I do this with most episodes. I take the key word or idea that someone asks — in this case, “waiting for the Lord.” I use a concordance or the word-search feature of my Bible software to look up how that word or idea is used in the Bible. So, if you look up in the ESV, for example, the word “wait,” with all of its forms (like “waited” and “waiting”), you get 135 uses in the Bible. If you look up the phrase “wait for,” you get 75 uses, and if you look up the phrase “wait for the Lord,” you get 12 uses with that precise wording. So, that’s what I did.

The point of reading all of these uses of the word “wait” in the Bible is to see what we can find out about how God intends for us to understand and practice this reality of waiting in all kinds of circumstances, including living a very busy, active life, which Mattie lives and most of us live today. I take then a piece of 8.5-by-11 paper — I do this for sermon preparation; I do this for APJ preparation — and I fold it in half. I fold the 8.5-by-11 paper in half. I use a lot of scrap paper, so that I can just fold it and use the back side, and as I read all those uses in the Bible, I make notes on the paper how it’s being used.

“The Christian life is essentially a waiting, longing, expecting, hoping life, because Christ is our supreme treasure.”

Then, as I collect all these notes, I mark similarities and differences. I’ll circle, “Oh, there in that psalm it had this meaning. Down here in Proverbs, it has a very similar meaning.” I’ll circle those and draw a line between those two so I can connect those and see if there’s a pattern emerging. When I’m done, I step back and look at that big messy piece of paper and try to fit it all together to see whether or not there’s some pattern that’s emerging or some unifying theme that’s growing out of it. So, that’s what I did with “wait for the Lord.”

When We Wait for God

So, here’s a glimpse into what I saw concerning the meaning of “waiting for the Lord.” I’ll just give my running glimpses and then draw some inferences for Mattie at the end.

1. Psalm 106:13: “They did not wait for his counsel.” So, the first meaning of waiting that I saw was this: when you have a decision in front of you, don’t run ahead, consulting your own intelligence, your own preparation, consulting your own expert, your own doctor first. All that’s fine, of course, but first, consult the Lord. There are a lot of texts in the Bible that criticize God’s people for running ahead to Egypt or running ahead to some helper rather than running to the Lord. So, turn to the Lord first and wait for his direction rather than just blundering ahead.

2. Psalm 33:20–21: “Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.” So, waiting for the Lord means not only that we pause to consult his will, searching his word, but that, once we know God’s direction, we trust him. We trust him. There’s a heart disposition to expect and wait for him to act in a trustworthy way.

3. Psalm 39:7–8: “Now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Deliver me from all my transgressions.” Psalm 130:6: “My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” So, waiting for the Lord means not only taking time to consult him, then trusting him, but also eagerly expecting and hoping that he will act. We are looking for his action in our lives. That’s the text she quoted: the Lord “acts [works] for those who wait for him” (Isaiah 64:4).

4. Proverbs 20:22: “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil’; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.” In other words, since God says that he will settle accounts for you and that you should not return evil for evil, then don’t take matters into your own hands. Go about your business and wait for the Lord to bring justice. Wait for the Lord to vindicate your cause.

5. Isaiah 8:17: “I will wait for the Lord, who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob, and I will hope in him.” There are times in the Christian life when God hides his face from us and puts us to the test. Will we forget him? Will we start to build our lives on another foundation when his visage has grown dim? Or will we wait for him with patience in seasons of darkness until God returns and gives us light?

6. Romans 8:23: “We . . . who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies,” and “we wait for it with patience” (Romans 8:25). The whole posture of the Christian life is one of eagerly waiting for the coming of Christ and the redemption of our bodies. The absence of the one we love, Jesus Christ, from this earth — his absence physically from our presence and this earth — implies that the Christian life is essentially a waiting, longing, expecting, hoping life, because Christ is our supreme treasure, nothing on the earth.

7. Finally, there is a cluster of texts that make clear that this life of waiting is a life full of Spirit-dependent action. Now Mattie’s ears should perk up. For example, Titus 2:11–14: “The grace of God . . . [is] training us to . . . live self-controlled, upright, godly lives” — it sounds like Mattie is very self-controlled — “in this present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself . . . [to make us] zealous for good works.” So, this is a very active, zealous, working waiting. We are “waiting for our blessed hope,” and he makes us in that waiting zealous for good work.

Busy but Waiting

So, we step back from our very brief survey of some of those 135 instances of waiting. We step back from our collection of biblical revelation concerning the meaning of waiting and ask, Are there any common denominators running through all of these uses of the word “waiting”? And I would sum it up like this:

1. The person who waits for the Lord is first continually conscious of God — his will, his promises, his grace to help. It’s a God-conscious person, not a person who forgets God all day long. You’re not waiting for God all day long if you’re forgetting God all day long.

2. The person who waits for the Lord is desiring God to show up and reveal himself and act in whatever way is needed.

3. The person who waits for the Lord has a spirit of moment-by-moment dependence on the ever-arriving future grace of God — like a river coming toward you moment by moment. We’re depending on that.

So, for Mattie, this would mean that, in all her busyness, she doesn’t lose her consciousness of God, she doesn’t lose her continual desire for him to act, and even in her most busy moments, she realizes that, unless the Lord acts for her, in her, through her, all her busyness is in vain. So, she’s ever expecting, ever waiting for the moment-by-moment arrival of the sustaining, guiding, helping grace of God.

If I were still an enemy of God, if I still dwelled in rebel camps outside his kingdom, if I still played the madman slinging stones at my Creator, this audible response to our amassed assault would empty my blood of courage. I would sooner hear the threats of the archangel, the blast of the trumpet, the opening of his gates, the rhythm of his war drums, the wheels of his chariots, than this. After our rage had been spent, our God presumed defeated, our terms of surrender sent, “He who sits in the heavens laughs” (Psalm 2:4).

What was true in David’s generation is true in every generation: the nations rage, the peoples plot in vain, the rulers take counsel together against the Lord and his Anointed (Psalm 2:1–2). Mankind does not just walk a broad way; we march along it. We bring the battering ram to the door; our soldiers spend quivers shooting over walls. You and I were born in their ranks, children of wrath by nature (Ephesians 2:3).

And the nations do not just oppose God; they “rage” at him. Their lives spit upon the ground at the mention of his name. Their hearts speak sedition: “Let us burst their bonds apart and cast away their cords from us” (Psalm 2:3). And they gather, each man’s disgrace torching another’s — “the peoples plot in vain.” Heads of state sit stately, nodding their approval, strategizing — “the rulers take counsel together.” The body fevers mutiny. Samson’s foxes dart into the King’s fields with fire at their tails.

And after they unleash their hate and let slip the dogs of war, they thought the battle decided. They thought his strength broken, his cords snapped, the immortal dead. And then they hear it. Scorn and mirth that strip the forests bare and shake the earth to the foundations. His laughter, the noise to shatter the shield and stop the heart as the hunter realizes he is the hunted.

Sinister Soundtrack

Psalm 2:1–3 depicts how every age wars against God. Every generation of unbelief swarms and swaggers, taking counsel together to escape his rule. Fools pretend to deny him. Most pretend to ignore him. Nations defy his law. Our time flaunts its sexuality and kills its children. Every age seeks to break his reign, and every generation will hear his dreadful laughter.

But the specific fulfillment of this rising against God’s Anointed happened two thousand years ago. This was the D-Day of the world. The Master sent his own beloved Son to a people who had beaten his servants, as if saying, “they will respect my son” (Matthew 21:37). They did no such thing. They took him, cast him out of Jerusalem, and crucified him amid the garbage heap.

Consider the soundtrack of their unholy day, foretold in Psalm 22. Mankind scorns him; the people despise him (verse 6). All who see him mock him, hurl expletives at him, wag their heads at him (verse 7). They taunt, “He trusts in the Lord; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!” (verse 8). Bulls surround him (verse 12). Lions roar at him (verse 13). His dry tongue sticks to his jaws as dogs bark and growl, as they pierce his hands and feet (verses 15–16). They gloat over him as soldiers cast lots for his garments (verses 17–18). They snarled over their prey, the ageless war decided, so they thought. Until a curious key change occurs (verses 21–31).

His enemies, no doubt, thought themselves very manly, exulting over the anguish of the Master’s Son. With violence they cast his cords from them; with what disdain they threw his shackles back at him. They must have assumed themselves mighty indeed to have subdued this lion like a lamb. They had failed so many times to trap him. Where now his whip, his woes, his questioning whether we have read the Scriptures? Where now his rebukes, his blasphemies, his boastings about his Father and being the Man coming on the clouds. Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe him; let him now extend his hand to us, and we shall kiss his ring!

What musical sounds in their minds. The victory, they thought, was final. They slew him, slowly, as one might roast the Passover lamb. Oh, how the mighty have fallen — or rather, how that serpent had finally been lifted up. He who stood and beckoned the thirsty to himself now cries, “I thirst.” Is this God’s Anointed King? Well then, we have lifted him to his throne — we, his royal footstools (Psalm 110:1). If you are the Son of David truly, shake off this unproven and wooden armor, come down at these taunts, and sling the stone at Israel’s enemy.

Hunters Hunted

How quickly did their revelries end. But two days they enjoyed cigars. The Lord’s silence was their favorite song. On the third day, though, laughter. Laughter that kills courage. Laughter that bursts champagne bottles. Laughter that replies, “Your havoc only wakes my slumbering wrath.” They cannot discern how death lies dead at his feet, how the sins of his people lie still, alone in the tomb. A voice speaks, through a smile, “As for me, I have set my King on Zion, my holy hill” (Psalm 2:6).

The war room is mic’d with a megaphone — omnipotence cares not who overhears. He speaks to someone, but to whom? The riddle does not remain unsolved.

The Lord said to me, “You are my Son;     today I have begotten you.Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage,     and the ends of the earth your possession.You shall break them with a rod of iron     and dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel.” (Psalm 2:7–9)

And when was his sonship publicly declared? We might think only of his baptism, but overhear Paul’s revelation:

What God promised to the fathers, this he has fulfilled to us their children by raising Jesus, as also it is written in the second Psalm, “You are my Son, today I have begotten you.” (Acts 13:32–33)

But they killed him. Let him reintroduce himself: “I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades” (Revelation 1:17–18). The seed perished and was buried, corruptible, but raised incorruptible, indestructible. He lives. The one they fixed to the cross with iron nails has forged those nails into a rod of iron to dash the nations apart. All authority has been given to him. Who can stand in the day of his terror?

His empty tomb speaks a command to all, including kings and all in high places:

Serve the Lord with fear,     and rejoice with trembling.Kiss the Son,     lest he be angry, and you perish in the way,     for his wrath is quickly kindled.Blessed are all who take refuge in him. (Psalm 2:11–12)

Checkmate

Publish it in Gath, tell it in Los Angeles, speak it forth in Minneapolis, alert the Supreme Court, hail it in China, chant it in Honduras, light beacons in Brazil, declare it in Denmark, announce it in Afghanistan and Argentina: Christ is King. All authority is his; he offers amnesty to the humble who repent, and he will judge the nations and dash the unrepentant with his scepter.

Write it upon the gates of Jerusalem; post it for all to see: “Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified” (Acts 2:36). The Son reigns. “Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. But we see him . . .” (Hebrews 2:8–9). We see him by faith. We hear him in his word. We love him by his Spirit. And the time hastens for all to see him face to face — even those who will soon cry out to the rocks and mountains, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who is seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?” (Revelation 6:16–17).

Yet today is the day of his kindness, the day he offers terms of shalom. Surrender to his Son who freely gave his life, bore his Father’s almighty wrath and your curse willingly, that by faith in his finished work on the cross you may enjoy his peace and glory and life with him and the Father, forever. He does not ask — he demands you come be forgiven, welcomed, loved.

The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead. (Acts 17:30–31)

But this day of salvation is drawing late. John calls it “the last hour” (1 John 2:18). The time is arriving when he will say, “As for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and slaughter them before me” (Luke 19:27).

Hail Him While You Can

O man, see the disaster of your rebellion. You have always been Satan’s pawn — “captured by him to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:26) — and never close to checkmate. Come to your senses and escape his snare. Your plots and plans have served his courses. Overhear how the early church prays Psalm 2:

“Why did the Gentiles rage,     and the peoples plot in vain?The kings of the earth set themselves,     and the rulers were gathered together,     against the Lord and against his Anointed” —

for truly in this city there were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, to do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place. (Acts 4:25–28)

Sinner, he laughs at your rebellion, and it is a harrowing laugh. He holds the nations in derision. He has equipped his Son with a rod. You stand outflanked, surrounded, defenseless. Only one safe space exists — not in his mother Mary, not in morality, not in Muhammed, not in your own positive vibes or self-defined spirituality — only in the Son, Jesus Christ, so violently put to death to bring the guilty dead to life. “Blessed are all who take refuge in him.” By faith, kiss this Son, lest he be angry with you, and you perish in the way, for his wrath is quickly kindled.

Are you still raging? Your insurrection causes him no loss of sleep. Your revolt gives him no worry. The loss is yours alone. Know that it will soon be sung to God, in praise, concerning all such rebellion: “The nations raged, but your wrath came” (Revelation 11:18). Celebrate his grace in this day of salvation, receive his kindness while you can, lest you glorify his justice and power in hell. All uprising is futile; sinner, come to Jesus, kiss his ring, bow to his love, and live.