How These Parents Helped Their Son Reject Transgender Lies and Affirm His Real Identity
Transgender ideology sets up an opposition between the body and an inner sense of being male or female, between physiological facts and subjective feelings. The best counter is a positive Christian worldview that affirms the value of the body and the unity of the human being.
From the time “Brandon” was quite young, people would remark that he was not a typical boy. Before he was even walking, his babysitter told his mother, “He’s too good to be a boy,” by which she meant he was gentle, sensitive, and compliant—traits we stereotypically associate with girls.
Every day when his mother picked him up from preschool, he was playing with the little girls instead of the boys. He was not interested in toy guns or trucks. He preferred imaginary games using stuffed animals to act out complex social relationships. From an early age, he sensed he was different from most other boys.
Today we would call him gender nonconforming. This is the story of how his parents helped him stop from pursuing a path of despair and genital mutilation.
In elementary school, Brandon came to his parents weeping—repeatedly—because he did not fit in anywhere. Most of his friends were still girls, but they did not fully accept him as one of their own because, of course, he is a boy. He told his parents, “I feel the way girls do, I am interested in things girls are. God should have made me a girl.”
By his early teens, Brandon was scouring the internet for information on transgender ideology. So what did his parents do?
First, they made sure he knew they loved him just the way he was. They did not try to change him. When I was in seminary, one of my fellow students was a former homosexual, and he told me, “When I was young, I liked art and poetry, and my father kept trying to ‘toughen me up’ by pushing me into sports and other more traditionally male activities.”
But Brandon’s parents did not pressure him to be different. They told him it is perfectly acceptable to be a gentle, emotional, relational boy. It did not mean he was really a girl.
They told him it might mean God had gifted him for one of the caring professions, such as psychologist, counselor, or health-care worker. In the same way, of course, it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to be gender nonconforming—to be more take-charge, rational, and assertive.
His parents’ favorite line, which they said over and over again, was, “It’s not you that’s wrong, it’s the stereotypes that are wrong.”
My Body, My Self
Brandon’s parents encouraged him to base his identity on his biological sex. Our feelings can change and often do. But our body is a stable, empirically knowable fact that does not change. So it makes sense to treat the body as a reliable indicator of our identity.
By contrast, transgender ideology devalues the body. A BBC video features a young woman who identifies as nonbinary, saying, “It doesn’t matter what living, meat skeleton you’ve been born in. It’s what you feel that defines you.” The body has been demoted to a meaningless lump of flesh and bones.
Gayle Salamon, a Princeton University professor, wrote a book defending transgender ideology. Salamon says, “What the ‘real’ [physical] body tells us…is nothing…It has no meaning at all.” This is the core of what’s being taught to young people in public schools today: that their bodies are worthless.
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The Silent Problem in Our Pews
The church is uniquely positioned to serve those who have a mental illness. If we look at the roles of those in the church as listed in 1 Corinthians 12:28, we read that three are “healing, helping, and guiding.” This is what those with mental illness need most from the church. They need fellow Christians to walk alongside them to guide them and help them through the healing process.
The church generally does not like to talk about mental illness. As a result, a stigma surrounds those who struggle with mental illness. Those with mental illness often prefer to suffer in silence rather than discuss it. Additionally, as I suspect, most people in our pews are simply unaware of the scope and depth of the problem of mental illness. Regardless of the reason for failure to minister to those with mental illness, the fact remains that the church has, for the most part, failed miserably in this area. After all, when was the last time your church brought up mental illness in the pastoral prayer?
One in five people in the United States has a mental illness. Depression alone accounts for half of that. Statistically, in a church of one hundred people, twenty will have a diagnosed mental illness, and fifteen more, such as friends and family, will be personally impacted by it. Depression and bipolar disorder are among the top ten most debilitating illnesses globally. Bipolar disorder and depressive diseases influence the lives of millions of people. They affect those diagnosed and their families, friends, coworkers, and people with whom they interact. Mental illness is not kind to those who suffer from it, nor to those who must live with those who have it. One-third of your church’s members are affected by mental illness.
We cannot imagine someone with cancer or heart disease going five to ten years without treatment, yet it happens all the time to those with mental illness. These folks suffer in our schools, workplaces, homes, and churches. Two-thirds of those with bipolar disorder remain untreated! The sad fact is that without adequate treatment, mental illnesses often worsen. Right now, people in our pews are suffering, many silently, from mental illness. If we, as the body of Christ, do not help them, we fail in Jesus’s command to love our neighbors as ourselves.
The church has a poor track record when it comes to mental illness. We advise those who are depressed to “just be happy” or “just trust in Jesus.” Worse yet, are those churches that encourage their members to stop taking their psychotropic medications and ask God to heal them. And yet, those same churches would never tell someone with cancer to stop undergoing chemotherapy and just ask God to heal them. They would not tell someone with a broken leg to stop seeking medical treatment and “just walk on it.” And yet, this is what happens. Says Susan Gregg-Schroeder, coordinator of Mental Health Ministries, “I’ve gone to funerals of people who were told to just pray to Jesus and stop taking their medications.”
Mental illnesses bring various dangers to the individual, including personal problems such as unemployment, financial struggles, homelessness, and broken relationships. People with mental illnesses also have a considerably higher risk of substance abuse. While 13 percent of Americans struggle with alcohol addiction and another 10 percent struggle with drug addiction, 60 percent of those with depression or bipolar disorder struggle with some form of substance abuse. If your church has five individuals with bipolar disorder, three of those people struggle with alcohol or drug addiction. We do not like to consider this when we look around our churches on Sunday morning and see our fellow believers. By far, however, the most severe danger they face is suicide.
Those with mental illness also have a considerably higher rate of suicide than the general population and are more likely to commit suicide than individuals in any other psychiatric or medical risk group. Twenty to twenty-five percent of those diagnosed and treated for bipolar disorder will die by suicide. The suicide rate is even higher for those who remain untreated. Seventy percent of all suicides are related to depression. According to Dr. Frederick Goodwin and Dr. Kay Jamison, the presence of depression and bipolar disorder is the most critical risk factor for completed suicide. I cannot overemphasize enough the lethal nature of these illnesses. Bipolar disorder and depression are the deadliest forms of mental illness. Says Dr. Jamison, “Suicide, for many who suffer from untreated manic-depressive illness, is as much “wired” into the disease as myocardial infarction is for those who have occluded coronary arteries.”
The good news is that bipolar disorder and depression are highly treatable. The most effective treatment is both medication and counseling. Utilizing only one of these may benefit those struggling with mental illness; however, combined therapy is preferential. Kay Jamison states, “Counseling alone, without medication, is considered to be malpractice.” Treatment of bipolar disorder and depression with a combination of medicine and counseling results in significantly better outcomes. This runs contrary to the beliefs of many in the church that all individuals with bipolar disorder and depression should be treated with counseling alone. Medications serve to treat genetic and biological factors. Counseling helps to treat lifestyle and spiritual elements. Therefore, counseling is a critical component in treating bipolar disorder and depression. This is where the church can enter the picture.
Why should we minister to those with mental illness? Studies show that those with mental illnesses fare considerably better if they are part of a religious community. According to a Duke University Medical Center study that examined one thousand patients who suffered from depression, those with a “strong, intrinsic, religious belief … do better.” A study by Lynda Powell showed that those involved in a religious community tend to live longer than those not. These facts alone should encourage those in the church to reach out to the mentally ill.
The church is uniquely positioned to serve those who have a mental illness. If we look at the roles of those in the church as listed in 1 Corinthians 12:28, we read that three are “healing, helping, and guiding.” This is what those with mental illness need most from the church. They need fellow Christians to walk alongside them to guide them and help them through the healing process. Jesus commands us to do this in Matthew 25:40, when He tells his disciples: “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Serving our brothers and sisters with mental illness is the same as serving Jesus Christ. It is not optional; it is what Jesus commanded us to do.
Timothy Mulder serves in Southside Community Church (PCA) in Corpus Christi, TX. This article is used with permission. For a more in-depth look at ministering to those with mental illness, check out his book, Suffering in Silence.
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“Teach us to Number our Days”
In Ecclesiastes, the wealthiest and wisest man of all, King Solomon, will compound on the words of Job when he describes the vanity and futility of life. Furthermore, Solomon will detail that the length of our lives, although known to God, is completely unknown to us: “Moreover, man does not know his time: like fish caught in a treacherous net and birds trapped in a snare, so the sons of men are ensnared at an evil time when it suddenly falls on them.” (2)
Life itself is like a whisper spoken into the wind or like a candle, which after being blown out, has lingering smoke for but a brief moment and then disappears forever. The brother of Jesus will later testify to these very realities in the New Testament: “You don’t even know what your life will look like tomorrow.” (3)
As Christians, we are committed to living for the glory of God, but in order to do so, we must effectively evaluate and examine the fragility and fleeting nature of life. In his resolutions, Jonathan Edwards rightly valued the scarcity of time and prayed that the Lord would impress upon his conscience the necessity of viewing our time here on earth with a profound sense of stewardship. With the brevity of man’s days and the eternal nature of man’s soul in mind, Edwards would pray, “Lord, stamp eternity on my eyeballs.” Edwards refused to live for the temporary, but insisted on making this personal resolution: -
The Fourth Phase: Persecution?
Of course, believers’ humble practice of God-honoring heterosexual marriage, though it may be costly, will also bear witness to the joy men and women have in biblical marriage. And in spite of stubborn resistance from opponents in contemporary culture, God’s powerful love and mercy is irresistible, as is his creative wisdom–in making us male and female—in his image. This we must seek to share in love with those who adopt androgynous sexual expressions. We must continue to express the love of Jesus, who was crushed on the cross for our redemption and for anyone who will receive it.
In a perceptive article on the recent history of Evangelicalism in America (which I recommend),[1] Aaron Renn, a writer for First Things, confirms something I have been thinking for some time: politics has become religious. It is thus difficult to speak out about traditional moral behavior without being “cancelled” or charged with being a Christian nationalist—by people who doubtless plan on making America a pagan nation! In other words, contemporary progressivism and biblical faith now occupy many areas of common ground. How has this come about? Renn describes three recent distinct phases of secular culture as it relates to Evangelicalism and biblical Christianity, moving from general acceptance to general opposition. They are, in Renn’s terminology:
A Positive World (Pre-1994)
In this stage, as Renn puts it, “society at large retains a mostly positive view of Christianity. …Publicly being a Christian is a status-enhancer. Christian moral norms are the basic moral norms of society and violating them can bring negative consequences.”
I cannot resist my oft-repeated phrase: “When I came to America in 1964 I thought I had died and gone to heaven.” As a European, I was surprised that a Christian student movement like Campus Crusade for Christ would try to attract students to the Christian gospel by drawing attention to the much-admired BMOC (Big Man on Campus), who happened to be a Christian. Renn shows that “this period is the last period of generalized Christendom where most in Western culture shared the same moral norms and where Christians could concentrate on sharing the Gospel.”
A Neutral World (1994–2014)
The next stage takes a neutral stance toward Christianity. “Christianity no longer has privileged status but is not disfavored. Christian moral norms retain some residual effect.”
I note that this period immediately follows the appearance in 1990 of a book by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen, After the Ball: How America Will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred of Gays in the 90’s. This book is presented as a “compelling and compassionate work that never fails to stimulate. After the Ball is required reading for straights interested in understanding a minority that comprises 10% of the population and for gays who are learning that the revolution is far from over.”[2] The authors encouraged gays “to come out of the closet, and they outlined a code of gay ethics calling for mature love relationships and greater moderation in sex.” The book was a massive success, creating general ambiguity in the way people began to think about both homosexuality and Christianity.
A Negative World (2014–Present)
According to Renn, “Society has come to have a negative view of Christianity. …Christian morality is expressly repudiated and seen as a threat to the public good and to the new public moral order.”
Biblical Christianity is now in this third antagonistic phase. Renn sees cultural antagonism in the conflict between progressivism’s re-definition of “the public good and the new public moral order” and that of the biblical moral order. Incisively, Renn dates the transition from the neutral to the negative phase in the year 2014, just before the Supreme Court’s Obergefell decision, which, he notes, “institutionalized Christianity’s new low status.” He does not explain why the new status is low. By granting to homosexuality constitutional status and by recognizing same-sex marriage as a “civil right” (which many “conservative” figures applauded at the time), the US Supreme Court paganized the “profound mystery” of the Christian gospel, expressed in male/female marriage, which reveals God’s love for his people (Eph 5:31–32). Two men copulating cannot represent God’s love for his people, since, throughout history, this was the pagan image of the divine and human relationship.[3] Indeed, as Paul says a few verses previously, sexual immorality and impurity…must not even be named among you (Eph 5:3). In our time, the LGBTQ ideology has been accepted as a perfectly valid lifestyle, but it is an ultimate rejection of biblical faith.
Thus, in the “Negative World” we are opposed by a non-Christian, religiously pagan worldview. This is why we see such hesitation to appeal to the Creator as the source of our human rights. IN POD WE TRUST has become the new humorous statement of faith. It is just what Paul argued so long ago in Romans 1. In verse 25 he describes the basic worship exchange (worshiping the creation rather than the Creator). In the next verse, he argues, “For this reason,” people practice homosexuality. The pagan, religious opposition in the “Negative World” is causing our Christian young people to leave the faith of their youth in droves, either because they are afraid to be unpopular or because they are convinced of the validity and value of the new “public good” and “public moral order” of personal rights.
The place of sexuality is the dividing point between biblical and progressive morality and between the politics of the Left and the Right. For many progressives the “public moral order” is becoming more “free” and now consists of normalizing all pagan sexual expressions, which can be loosely categorized as “androgyny.” This term joins male and female, whereas God created these as distinct. We see androgyny in various forms of non-binary sexuality—homosexuality, bi-sexuality, trans-sexuality and drag culture, all of which claim civil rights, since they believe that there are no ultimate distinctions; all is homo, the same. It is little wonder that antagonism against Christianity is so often connected with issues of sexuality. Christianity affirms one foundational difference, namely the distinction between God and his creation. The male/female distinction is the capstone of all the other distinctions God put into the universe (such as land and sea, night and day, etc.). Yet that very male/female distinction is the target of most current public lawsuits against Christians who want to maintain their right to turn down work that would go against their belief in those creation distinctions. Christian business owners, such as bakers and photographers, want to maintain their public witness regarding sexuality. When Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) retired from the Senate and was chosen as the University of Florida’s next president, no one was particularly surprised, since Sasse had already been a university president earlier in his career. But the University’s Faculty Senate held an emergency meeting in which a large majority railed against the administration’s decision to make Sasse the sole finalist. Sasse’s conservative position on gender caused faculty members to express “no-confidence” in his appointment. Affirming conservative views on sexuality is the best way to get you cancelled!
Dr. Al Mohler’s November 2 “Briefing” was dedicated to showing how thoroughly the medical profession has adopted LGBTQ ideology as normative. “On LGBTQ issues and on a host of other issues,” Mohler said, “it is clear that the medical establishment is taking sides. And overwhelmingly, the medical establishment is taking sides by siding with those who are enthusiastic for the LGBTQ revolution.”[4] Perhaps the clearest example of the power of LGBTQ ideology on culture is the promotion of life-altering techniques—surgery and puberty-blockers that permanently sterilize an individual—on minor children who question their personal fit with the stereotypical sex of their birth. A huge majority of voters (78.7 %) “believe underage minors should be required to wait until they are adults to legally use puberty blockers and undergo permanent sex-change procedures.”[5] Yet Democrat politicians, aware of the vindictiveness of the transsexual movement and fearing to lose the huge campaign contributions of the LGBT lobby, refuse to support the public’s preferences.[6] Large corporations who were once culturally conservative have gone “woke,” progressive, and politically Leftist. Their vast wealth has allowed them to become monopolies, thus freeing them to cast off market theories of fair competition and to align with the newly erected moral icons of the day: targets for “environmental, social and governance” (ESG), and individual sexual freedom.
The future includes the emergence of a “new [Catholic] Church” under pro-homosexual Pope Francis, who is completely at odds with traditional Catholicism as understood by Cardinal Ratzinger/Pope Benedict XVI. Just before becoming Pope in 2005, Ratzinger noted: “Very soon it will no longer be possible to affirm that homosexuality, as the Church teaches, is an objective disorder in the structuring of human existence.”[7] Perhaps as he saw the compromises of the Vatican and realized that he would not be able to change them, Ratzinger had no option but to resign.
On the Protestant Reformed side, the decisions of Calvin University are disturbing. The school’s board recently chose to allow LGBTQ-affirming faculty to remain as recognized professors, even those who offer statements that they are not in agreement with the church’s confessional beliefs on homosexuality. “The big story here is that a college that has claimed evangelical identity for more than a century, completely owned by a denomination that has raised its affirmation of biblical sexuality to confessional status, is surrendering to the sexual and gender revolution.”[8]
So what cultural time is it? In what phase is our culture now? Emily Rizzo, clinical professional counselor in D.C. with the Counseling Center of Maryland, describes the present as a time in which “we’ve already moved away from the cis, straight world, [so] there is more of a possibility to be open.”[9] Rizzo plies her trade, counseling LGBT+ clients and individuals in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships since “open relationships just tend to come more naturally to queer people.”
Today’s “time” sees teachers exposing young children in state schools to radical gender and sexual notions. Such instruction is surely part of the normalization of the LGBTQ agenda. Two spokesmen for “Drag pedagogy,” justify “drag queen readings for children. …[W]ithin the historical context of the USA and Western Europe, the institutional management of gender has been used as a way of maintaining racist and capitalist modes of (re)production.” To disrupt this dynamic, the authors propose “drag pedagogy,” as a way of stimulating the “queer imagination,” teaching kids “how to live queerly,” and “bringing queer ways of knowing and being into the education of young children.”[10] The goal is to expose “childhood innocence” as an “oppressive heteropatriarchal illusion,”[11]to make “queer thinking” the future “moral order” of society. Their task, they say, is to disrupt the “binary between womanhood and manhood,” seed the room with “gender-transgressive themes,” and break the “reproductive futurity” of the “nuclear family” and the “sexually monogamous marriage”—all of which are considered mechanisms of heterosexual, capitalist oppression. Powerful politicians support this ideology, in one way or another. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the third in line for the presidency, posted a clip of her cameo on the fifth episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 7” on Twitter, endorsing drag queens as “what America is all about.” She stated that “it was an honor” to make an appearance on the reality TV show and that she was “inspired by the contestants because they knew their power. Pelosi’s district is the site of a huge, annual public street fair for a sado-masochistic sex celebration, which she endorses.
Another politician, none other than President Biden, recently received in the White House the trans TikTok star Dylan Mulvaney, who publicly presented himself, dressed and speaking as a teenage girl, and discussed transgender issues with the President, who agreed with him that it was “immoral” to deny sex-change surgery to children. John Fetterman, senate candidate for Pennsylvania recently stated that “LGBTQ education should be mandatory in all schools.”[12] Will our future belong to proponents of “queer sex”?
The Human Rights Campaign thinks it will. They show that LGBTQ voters are on track to become one of the fastest-growing voting blocs in the country. They predict that by 2040, one in five Texas voters will be part of the group. “(LGBTQ voters are) emerging as among one of the most influential voting constituencies in the country, whose impact will permanently transform and reshape the American electoral landscape.”[13]
The church is already in Renns’s third culturally “negative period,” and I am taking the liberty to add a fourth stage. As the strength of pagan religious power increases, we will, no doubt, enter a fourth period.
A World of Persecution
The church must be ready to face intense opposition. Already “cancel culture” has arisen from the reasoning of the LGBTQ community, who are convinced that their constitutional status removes any religious rights from Christian believers who might evoke their rights of free speech and free commerce. For the moment, most court cases on these issues take seriously the protections guaranteed by our constitutional religious liberty laws. What will happen when the moral high ground is held by the LGBTQ community? They believe that nature’s norm of heterosexuality has become an unjustified, outmoded definition of normalcy. The natural order has evolved into normative non-binary androgyny of all sorts. One cannot help but think of the Roman culture of Paul’s day.
In view of a possible fourth period, what should be the current stance of the church? To be sure, we must preach clearly the love of God available for all, since all are made in God’s image. But the pulpit must also show God’s created plan for men and women and the connection between worshiping creation and sexual degradation. Both unbelievers and believers, old and young, need encouragement to stand firm. Our younger believers are under immense pressure from the culture and often have no idea how to speak about the sexual issues in relation to the gospel message. They are often tempted to abandon their faith. Recent Barna research shows that “only 50 percent among teens who identify as Christians say Jesus was resurrected; not even half (44%) say Jesus was God in human form.[14] Only 40% open their Bible more than twice a year, and only 9% open it more than once a week. How will they be able to analyze and reject the pagan spirituality that surrounds them? Significantly, Barna did not even bother to ask them their views on sexuality which, as we have demonstrated, is the dominant worldview of our day.
Preaching a blend of gospel declaration and cultural apologetics follows the example of the apostles and of Paul in particular. Though he was not interested in creating a Christian empire, he was committed to training Christians how to represent God before the pagan world. Thus he taught the church, as well as any pagan who might hear him, how to think specifically about honest commerce, the traditional family, marriage and male/female sexuality—doubtless because it got them to think about God the Creator and Redeemer and how to glorify God in their daily living. Our Christian young people especially need wise instruction about the things they are hearing and seeing in their school and social settings. Yet some are deprived of any solid teaching about today’s androgynous, identity-oriented perversions. I beg all Christian pastors and youth leaders to dig deeply in understanding the theological connections with today’s sexual behaviors and then to train your young people to understand the issues and to stand firm, while reaching out to their friends with the gospel.
Of course, believers’ humble practice of God-honoring heterosexual marriage, though it may be costly, will also bear witness to the joy men and women have in biblical marriage. And in spite of stubborn resistance from opponents in contemporary culture, God’s powerful love and mercy is irresistible, as is his creative wisdom–in making us male and female—in his image. This we must seek to share in love with those who adopt androgynous sexual expressions. We must continue to express the love of Jesus, who was crushed on the cross for our redemption and for anyone who will receive it. To announce that love, we must be ready to give our lives, as Luther wrote 500 years ago:
Let goods and kindred go,This mortal life also;The body they may kill:God’s truth abideth still,His Kingdom is forever.
Dr. Peter Jones is scholar in residence at Westminster Seminary California and associate pastor at New Life Presbyterian Church in Escondido, Calif. He is director of truthXchange, a communications center aimed at equipping the Christian community to recognize and effectively respond to the rise of paganism. This article is used with permission.[1] Aaron M. Renn, “The Three Worlds Of Evangelicalism,” FIRST THINGS, Feb 2022,
[2] See Amazon presenting page.
[3] Peter Jones, “Androgyny: The Pagan Sexual Ideal”: https://truthxchange.com/resource-library/articles/androgyny-the-pagan-sexual-ideal/
[4] Al Mohler, The Briefing, 11/2/2022.
[5] https://www.thecentersquare.com/national/poll-americans-support-banning-transgender-surgeries-drugs-for-minors/article_a969ff1a-5156-11ed-9243-733436a08713.html
[6] https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/4103360/posts
[7] https://www.frontpagemag.com/has-benedict-xvi-been-indicating-he-still-reigns-as-pope/
[8] Albert Mohler, The Great Evangelical Deconstruction, World, (November 4, 2022).
[9] https://www.verygoodlight.com/2021/08/19/gay-couples-open-relationships
[10] Christopher F. Rufo Oct 24, 2022.
[11] H Dyer – “Global Studies of Childhood, 2017,” – journals.sagepub.com
[12] Pennsylvania Democrat John Fetterman Agrees “LGBTQ Education” Should Be “Mandatory In All Schools”.
[13] https://hrc-prod-requests.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/LGBTQ-VEP-Oct-2022.pdf?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter_axioslocal_austin&stream=
[14] Nick Hartman, “A Reflection on Barna’s Open Generation Report,” GenZ, October,26, 2022.
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