The pastor to whom I had confessed my sin years earlier has walked with us through many rough times; I am grateful that he is still my pastor today. He loved me, and he showed up as the hands and feet of Christ when I did not think myself worthy of God’s love.

“Godly husband, godly father, godly leader in the Church.” That was how I so wanted to be perceived by others, but it was a lie, and I hated myself because of it. The truth was that, for decades, I had struggled with sexually addictive behaviors: masturbation, pornography, and—eventually—binges of phone sex with other men. This was a secret that I was once convinced I would take to my grave because, if anyone knew the truth of who I was, I was sure I’d be despised, rejected, and abandoned by all, including my wife and children.
The fact that I struggled with sexual brokenness isn’t surprising, especially in light of my story and the fact that I have a sinful nature and live in a fallen world. I grew up in a Christian home with godly parents, but I carried a deep wound. My dad excelled in whatever he did, and others fully expected me to follow in his footsteps, but what he excelled in was not what I wanted to pursue. Indeed, I avoided his world because I feared that I might fail and be rejected by him and others. And so any deep connection with my dad was absent. He didn’t give me the physical touch, the play, the frequent affirmation that I so desperately wanted and needed.
A therapist said to me decades later, “You were a nine- or ten-year-old boy, walking across an emotional desert, desperate for a drink of water, and you found one. It just happened to be from a polluted well.” The polluted well was the attention of an older neighborhood boy who introduced me to sexual activity. This would set in motion a decades-long history of struggle with same-sex attraction and sexual acting out. While I was still attracted to women, there was always the pull of the other that produced overwhelming guilt, toxic shame, and repeated, desperate calls to God to remove this despised thorn.
My early sexualization was punctuated by two other traumatic events during adolescence. When I was 14, my dad invited a 24-year-old man with whom he had a professional relationship to spend the night—to share my room—when this man was in town for a special event. Little did my dad or I know that the conversation this man engaged me in after the lights were out would quickly turn sexual and would lead to sexual activity that left me devastated with guilt and shame. Similarly, a sexual encounter with a predatory college professor at age 18 would also reinforce the extent of the brokenness I felt.
During my time in professional school, I fell in love with a wonderful Christian woman, and we married soon after. Finally, I thought; surely marriage would fix me. Marriage was what I needed in order to quit doing the things that brought so much pain. And it did work, for a while. But, gradually, the same old sexually addictive behaviors crept back into my life. I told myself that I was only trying to reduce the stress resulting from my job.
I thought that once we had children, I would stop. I would have to stop. But the children came, and my sin didn’t stop. Against a backdrop of frequent masturbation and binging on pornography, I kept trying to find a way to stop, believing that God and I could sort this out, that no one else needed to know.
When I was in my mid-30s, my family and I were members of a small, reformed church in the Midwest. I was approached about serving as an elder. I resisted at first, feeling like a hypocrite, but after repeated overtures from the pastor and a godly man on the church’s session, I agreed to have my name placed before the congregation. I told myself that if I were elected to the office of ruling elder, I would have to stop doing what brought so much guilt and shame. I was elected to the office of ruling elder and ordained, but, much to my disappointment, the miraculous healing I was seeking did not materialize. It was not long before I was engaging in the same old addictive patterns, at times contemplating whether suicide wouldn’t be a better alternative.
And so the pattern was set, and the decades passed. Where was God in all of this? Why wouldn’t he remove this thorn? I became more and more convinced that there might not be any hope for me, disregarding all that I had been taught throughout my life about God’s faithfulness. In my early 40s, my wife and I were in a new city as a result of my work, and the evidence of God’s faithfulness to me began to take form, although I would not see that until years later. My wife, while serving on the missions committee of the church in which I was also serving as a ruling elder, came across a request for support from Harvest USA. I can remember her saying while she was reading the literature, “This is the most grace-filled, redemptive approach to helping individuals escape their bondage to sexual sin that I have ever seen.” I was intrigued and began reading it myself. I found a modicum of hope, but I was still too prideful to confess my sin to my pastor or my wife.
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Through this entire process, we are investing in the Kingdom, and we must never lose sight of that goal.  And we must also maintain a spirit of contentment with what God provides for us in each season.  All in all, freedom from debt is possible, even in the current economy.  We should pursue it and financial wisdom in general as we should pursue everything else: for the purpose of building the Kingdom.

One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in that which is another’s, who will give you that which is your own? No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.
-Luke 16:10-13, ESV

Recently, we looked at the need for Christians to step out in faith to give sacrificially when their churches embark on projects to build the Kingdom.  This is above and beyond the tithe, which we have previously seen is still commanded.  But in the current economy, even the tithe may seem out of reach.  As abysmal inflation causes stagnant wages to fall short of meeting even the bare necessities, how can someone barely making ends meet ever be able to tithe, much less give above and beyond that?  This post takes a practical look at personal finances to offer a biblical path to go from drowning in the financial storms of life to standing firm, able to endure them while being generous.
Finances in Scripture
As always, we must begin with Scripture, which has much to say about personal finances.  First, money is a tool, so we cannot allow ourselves to be dominated by it, whether we are seeking it or lacking it.  The rich young ruler’s possessions had become his obsession, so he was unwilling to part with them when they became a hindrance to following Christ.  This temptation is great, so Jesus said it is extremely difficult for the rich to enter the Kingdom.  Many fail the test of wealth, therefore we must reject prosperity theology that makes Jesus the means and wealth the end.  But we must also reject poverty theology that despises wealth.  Remember, it is not money itself but the love of money that is the root of all sorts of evil (1 Timothy 6:10).  We are to neither desire overabundance nor destitution but adequate provision.  We must pray with Agur: “Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you and say, “Who is the LORD?” or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God” (Proverbs 30:8-9).  In Jesus’s teaching on money, He emphasizes stewardship.  We are to be faithful with whatever He gives us, using and controlling it, not letting it control us.  Many people in our day are controlled by money through debt: “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender” (Proverbs 22:7).  And since we are exhorted not to be dominated by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12) and to seek freedom from slavery (1 Corinthians 7:21), we should avoid debt entirely or free ourselves from it as quickly as possible.  Debt prevents us from caring for ourselves and our families as we ought, supporting the local church and building the Kingdom as we ought, and preparing an inheritance for our children as we ought.  These are the primary objectives of our money, so we must align our budgets to reflect that.
Freedom from debt is certainly easier said than done. Our society has so successfully marketed debt as a necessity that many Americans are drowning in debt, seeing no way to live without it: car loans, credit cards, short-term financing, the highway robbery known as payday loans, and student debt.  So many Americans are living paycheck-to-paycheck that a minor disturbance—even high inflation—can be enough to swamp the boat.  Too many Americans are too busy bailing water out of their sinking financial boat to focus on where the boat is headed, meaning they are unable to prepare for the future or build the Kingdom.  So if you are in this position, it is vital to figure out how to get the boat sitting high enough in the water that you can set a long-term course.  While that may seem impossible, it is doable, even in this economy. Fortunately, there is a very practical, Scripture-based method, which I will summarize.  This is taken from a course that I would highly recommend: Financial Peace University, which is based on 7 “baby steps”.  I will focus on the first three, which are the most important: get some money in the bank, quickly pay off all non-mortgage debt, and establish an emergency fund.
Step 1: Put $1,000 in the Bank and Establish a Budget
Returning to our boat analogy, the first step is to get enough water out so that the next moderate wave will not swamp the boat.  This means putting $1,000 in the bank.  If $1,000 is unattainable, then $500 will suffice.  The point is to have something saved up so that you will not have to go into further debt just because something unexpected comes along.  You may wonder where this $1,000 is coming from, especially if you feel like you are drowning now.  It will come a dollar at a time as you take control of your finances with a budget.
While some may think that a budget is too restrictive and controlling, it is actually a very effective tool to help you control your money.  In my sermon on giving, I applied 2 Corinthians 10:5 to money by saying that we need to take every dollar captive to obey Christ.  That means we need to know where every dollar is going, which can only be done through a budget.  Start by listing all sources of income and how much you expect to bring in from each source during the month.  Along with this, list all payroll taxes and other deductions, then calculate your net income for the month.  Next list all expenditures: giving, saving, housing, utilities, food, transportation, clothing, healthcare, other personal needs, recreation, and debt payments.  For large expenditures that do not happen monthly, divide their cost evenly over every month.
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Presbyterianism is technically a form of church government, but it has also become a catch-all phrase for Presbyterians who are Reformed in conviction and adhere to Westminster Standards in doctrinal standards. Which means, being a Presbyterian is a lifestyle. It is adhering to that particular church government, and it is living your life in the light of God’s glory in His sovereignty and works of providence. It’s having an orthodoxy that leads to orthopraxy. It’s a Calvinism that is lived out for the glory of God and the enjoyment of Him forever. Being a Presbyterian isn’t always just about a session and diaconate and presbytery and synod … it’s also about being Biblically Reformed in the style of the Westminster Standards in all of our life. 

I love being Presbyterian! In this day and age when it’s popular to loudly and boldly let other people know what you stand for, I’ll say it again for the people in the back row – I LOVE BEING PRESBYTERIAN! 
I am a later convert to being Presbyterian. I was first raised in a non-churched home where we eventually started going to a Southern Baptist church in my hometown of Sumter, SC. Because of the wonderful ministry of that church, I will always be grateful to the SBC for their emphasis on the Gospel, loving Jesus and His word. It was in college at Winthrop University that I got involved with Reformed University Fellowship, which led me to a local Presbyterian church. That was the beginning of the end for me! From that point, I have been immersed in all things Presbyterian, and, I will say again, I love being Presbyterian! 
A friend of mine, John, tells the story of his journey becoming a Presbyterian. He, like me (and maybe some of you as well), was raised in a Southern Baptist church. For college, he ended up at Columbia Bible College, now known as Columbia International University. Through different classes and professors, my friend was exposed to Reformed theology and Presbyterian ecclesiology. Somewhere along the way, John realized he was no longer a Southern Baptist, but had been “converted” to Reformed Presbyterianism! This shook him up, so he went to a trusted professor and friend to talk this through. They had a good discussion, and at the end of the conversation, this professor said to my friend, “John, if you’re going to be a Presbyterian, then be a good Presbyterian to the glory of God.” That bit of advice has stuck with me since my friend, John, shared that story with me. 
What does it mean to be a good Presbyterian to the glory of God? How can we winsomely (a favorite Reformed Presbyterian word!) love being Presbyterians? I offer a few categories to think through:
Biblical
We are good Presbyterians to the glory of God when our Presbyterianism is rooted in the Scriptures. We think of Acts 15 and the church leaders meeting together as a council to discuss a Biblical issue in order to advise and direct as a council. Much like how Presbyterian synods and assemblies and presbyteries operate now, we take from Acts 15. The church officers were chosen by the people – we see that in the story of Matthias in Acts 1. When talking about church officers, Paul would use the term “presbyteros” meaning “elder.” These were the men who were called by God and chosen by their congregations to spiritually lead that particular congregation. We also see in Paul’s letters that there were a plurality of elders in the church. There are other scriptures that we could go to that shows the Biblical precedent of Presbyterianism. All told, we are good Presbyterians to the glory of God when we are Presbyterians because that is what Scripture teaches for church government. 
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