We are, it seems, losing our grip on what it means to be human. In an age where all aspects, once cherished and considered sacred, fundamental to our humanity are fuzzy shadows of our parent’s outdated ideas, we stand to lose something central to human flourishing.

We are now seeing seismic shifts in perception about sex, gender, and marriage.
You might think this has been occurring for some time now, and you wouldn’t be wrong about that. But, granting that as truth, the shift seems especially pressing in the last several years where fundamental, traditional assumptions about these issues are being reinvisioned.
The plausibility structure of the gender binary is losing its grip on contemporary consciousness. And, it’s not just in contemporary culture writ large, but we are seeing and experiencing shifts in the Church. For these reasons alone, we ought to pause and think afresh about a couple of things: 1. What does it mean to be gendered and how is this related to sex? 2. How do these views impact our life? Otherwise, we come closer to abandoning traditional belief altogether.
If you doubt that massive shifts have and are occurring, then just consider a few things with me. There’s certainly nothing wrong with having a bit of healthy skepticism about cultural shifts both in and outside the church, but it is a problem when those shifts are staring us in the face, out in plain sight, and, as you may have heard, hidden in plain sight.
Consider the shift in perceptions about the nature of marriage since 2015 with the Federal legalization of marriage between same-sex couples. Consider also the uptick in discussions about polyamory (not polygamy mind you, but polyamory really is just an egalitarian version of what ancient civilizations once considered acceptable). Consider, even more, the uptick in discussions about sexual plurality. This isn’t just occuring in contemporary culture, either. It’s also occurring in the pews and longstanding liturgical practices. In a recent study, the laxity on pornography use has expanded, but, more surprising, is that the perception on pornography use between couples has become almost normalized amongst many couples who profess Christian belief.
You might think that gender and sexual practice are not strictly related, but the demand and attention simultaneously suggest that both are related. And, that shouldn’t really be all that surprising, as historic practice has often tied sexual practice to gender expression in the context of definitions about marriage. They are interrelated, and cannot be cleanly separated.
More fundamental still, many are even beginning to wonder if there is anything to be made of the traditional view that genders are fixed in any way. I recall a conversation several years ago with a theology professor of one of the most prominent evangelical schools confessing some confusion about gender fixity of being either male or female. I realized quite pointedly then that this wasn’t going away. You’ve, no doubt, probably heard of the discussion on transgenderism on the famous Dr. Phil show where Matt Walsh challenges gender fluid advocates with one simple question: What does it mean to be a woman? This is now a live discussion in our culture, and it has made its way into the church.
Holding such views has impacted our society in a variety of ways. We can’t, as a result, avoid it.
Judith Butler once famously stated: “There is no gender identity behind the expressions of gender.” I wish I could say that this statement would be met with looks of perplexity by the common man on the street, but there appears to be a growing number of people for whom this statement seems so obviously true that it cannot be denied. To deny it is tantamount to oppression. In other words, it is harmful both to believe and practice the fact that there is a gender binary (i.e., male and female). In varying ways, challenging gender essentialism is becoming quite common in Christian circles, despite its permanence in most of Church history. Others will go so far as to claim that science settles the fact that gender has no fixed connection to biology, but, unfortunately for gender activists, this has not been accepted science. If you are a Christian, then a commitment to the essential nature of being both male and female is part of a package. To deny it is to effectively lose our grip on essential Christian doctrine.
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In marriage, God allows us to see one another as we really are, then to accept one another as we really are—as holistic human beings who are a mixture of holy and depraved, grownup and immature, wonderful and almost unbelievably annoying. Marriage makes us holy not just in compelling us to identify and confront sin in the other, but also in calling us to bear patiently with another person’s sin, preferences, and bad habits. 

We’ve all heard that marriage was designed to make us holy more than to make us happy. And though it’s a bit of a trite phrase that threatens to force a false dichotomy between holiness and happiness, there is a measure of truth to it. At its best, marriage does, indeed, help us grow in holiness. It helps us in our lifelong quest to put sin to death and come alive to righteousness. Aileen and I knew this was true when we got married all those years ago, but as time has passed we’ve been surprised to learn how it’s true.
It had been our assumption that marriage would make us holy because we would essentially be enlisting another person to our cause—a person who would assist us in identifying sin and in helping us put it to death. “This is the will of God: your sanctification,” says Paul, and each of us would be involving ourselves in embracing God’s will for the other.
Certainly there have been times when each of us has helpfully and even formally pointed out where the other has developed patterns of sin and selfishness. There have been times when we have each helped the other fight a particular sin or a general sinfulness. Yet as we look back on the past twenty-three years, we see that this has been relatively rare. It’s not that we don’t see plenty of sin in one another and not that we are firmly opposed to pointing it out. No, it’s more that there is another way that marriage has helped us grow in sanctification—a way in which our efforts are directed at addressing ourselves more than fixing each other.
Each of us has our sins, our imperfections, and our shortcomings. Each of us is pretty well established in who we are and how we behave and each of us is, at 45, pretty unlikely to experience dramatic transformations in this. That’s not to say that we have given up or declared ourselves as holy as we can ever be. Far from it!
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Written by Jason D. Bland |
Sunday, January 2, 2022
Simply put, when we turn to Christ in prayer, He provides peace over all matters. While it doesn’t remove the trials and tribulations, the sources of anxiety and stress, or absolve Christians from dealing with difficult situations, it does provide a path toward dealing with these challenges in a healthy and faithful way.

Today, perhaps more so than at some other periods in our lifetimes, people appear to be overcome with high anxiety. We see this we turn on the television, open our social media feed, or talk to family or friends. In so many ways we’re bombarded with stress-inducing stimuli: the persistent/perceived threat of COVID (from both the government and media), the impact of wokeism and cancel culture, apprehensive views of US political leaders, etc. But we know that this is not where the Lord wants us to focus our thoughts and energy. We should not expect to live with the soul crushing weight of anxiety and stress. In fact, it’s quite to the contrary.
As Christians, when we face the turmoil and turbulence of our modern world, we must hold fast to the lessons of Philippians 4:6-7, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (NKJV 1997).  Simply put, when we turn to Christ in prayer, He provides peace over all matters. While it doesn’t remove the trials and tribulations, the sources of anxiety and stress, or absolve Christians from dealing with difficult situations, it does provide a path toward dealing with these challenges in a healthy and faithful way.
All Christians struggle with the notion of pursuing Christ daily, pouring out our worries at His feet, and trusting intentionally in Him. However, the burden of anxiety is not meant to be dealt with alone; rather, Christ shares that burden with believers and takes the pressure off their bruised shoulders. This is what happens when believers have an active and robust faith in the power of Christ to provide a solution for their tribulations – to give them peace and strength.
Consider for a moment the specific impact of COVID as an anxiety-inducing factor. Over the past two years, the levels of anxiety and stress have risen markedly due to the virus. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association released an article explaining the trends:
More than four in 10 adults (43%) report the pandemic has had a serious impact on their mental health, up from 37% in 2020. Fifty nine percent of younger adults are more likely to report a serious impact on their mental health due to the pandemic. More than half (54%) of 30 to 44-year-olds also report a serious mental health impact; fewer older adults (24%) report serious mental health impacts.
A key point of this article was that stress has become sustained, an evil that must be dealt with persistently, with no apparent end in sight. It’s also significant to point out that “younger adults” (Gen Z and Millennials), the backbone of our society’s workforce and economy, exhibit the most severe struggles with mental health issues. This is not a good sign for a society that hopes to recover from the pandemic and return to a healthy footing.
In direct opposition to this persistent anxiety and stress within the population at large, is the hope and peace that Christians exhibit through their faith in Jesus Christ. Their faith provides special access to a peace that the world can only dream of. Instead of fearing day-to-day trials and tribulations, or worrying about the possibility of catching the virus, Christians must live their lives in the fear of the Lord, the catalyst of spiritual wisdom. Proverbs 9:10 exhorts believers in this way: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding” (NKJV 1997). With wisdom and understanding Christians are reminded of the confidence they have in being children of God, the Creator of the universe who exhibits sovereignty over all things: time, space, and all of life circumstances.
This theological foundation, grounded in God’s infallible Word, should catapult Christians, including leaders in churches, business, education, etc., to lead with a supernatural confidence. They should live and lead with the utmost confidence in who God is and what He does in their lives.
This confidence is infectious. It is the salt that flavors the world with the unique peace that only Christ offers. Remember that Jesus said: “You are the salt of the earth” (Matthew 5:13a, NKJV 1997). How amazing is the impact then of all Christians, including those whom the Lord has placed in positions of authority; their actions spiritually flavor the world about them, allowing the world to see the peace they live with every day. These actions create an environment and community that unbelievers will want to be part of.
Seth Godin, a contemporary business writer, has written about the power of community, or what he refers to as “tribes.” He stated, “[H]uman beings can’t help it: we need to belong. One of the most powerful of our survival mechanisms is to be part of a tribe, to contribute to (and take from) a group of like-minded people” (2008, p. 3). The Lord reaffirmed what we learn in 1 Thessalonian 5:14, where brothers and sisters in Christ are to comfort and support one another, to be patient, to create a loving community, i.e., a tribe. Continuing this thought of community, it becomes apparent why so many people have been hurting from anxiety, stress, and mental pain. COVID has caused many people to shut themselves off and live in isolation.
Christians, on the other hand, must be willing to step out and live their lives with confidence and exuberance, and dare I say, a little bit of courage within their community.
Clearly, there is no better tribe than the tribe of God. Only in this tribe can people receive peace and strength. What Godin described is what Christians live out every day. The salt with which Christians flavor their daily interactions is a continuous appeal to those who have stumbled, the fallen, the unbeliever. So, too, are Christians’ daily interactions with one another, an encouragement to their fellow believers and further strengthening the community. It is vital, then, for Christian leaders to live their lives, not with high anxiety but with the calm assurance of a Christ-filled life.
As others encounter the peace that Christian leaders offer it becomes infectious. People want to be safe, secure, even if it means escaping from their own thoughts or the constant attack of worldly tribulation. Therefore, it’s imperative for Christians leaders to live out their lives as Philippians 4:6 exhorted, without anxiety, and even more, with thanksgiving.
Christian leaders must be the ultimate example of this lifestyle. When people see the power of Christ-filled relationships, unbelievers will sense a compulsion to pursue it. If they encounter Christians who are just as worried, grief stricken, and full of doubts, why would they want to follow such a path? Instead, Christian leaders must offer the antithesis to the life of high anxiety – they must exhibit a life full of peace and strength.
Jason D. Bland is the founder of Signet Leadership, an organizational leadership consulting and coaching firm. He is a military veteran and experienced leader of organizational operations in both the military and civilian sectors. Jason is also a doctoral student at Regent University, studying Strategic Leadership.