It wasn’t until Peter stopped running his mouth that Christ could teach him something. Our own arrogance, and embarrassment, stops us many times in life from learning what we should. It isn’t until we are willing to admit that we don’t know that we can find out what is we don’t know. Seems pretty obvious, but why is that so hard for us to do?

Been an exciting few days around these parts. Between the holidays and a wedding there is much reason to be thankful for the mercies of the Lord. This next coming Sabbath Day we’ll be going back to our walk through the Sermon On the Mount at Bethany. Our first dab back into those waters is a little on the interesting providential side, Christ’s teaching on divorce from Matthew 5:31-32. Seems a bit daft to have that be next on the rotation, but God’s providence is always correct. The following passage after that is a word from our Redeemer on the question of vows, which of course have a lot to do with marriage and the responsibilities and duties which follow from it. So for today’s worship and prayer help we are going to take a moment to meditate on what a man’s word means and why it matters for all areas of life, regardless of your marital status.
Of all the things that grant us solace in the Christian life there is probably no greater comfort than the knowledge that God is a God of truth. There is no deceit in the throne room of grace. If Jehovah tells Daniel that he is going to see the day of the return to the promised land regardless of what designs Belshazzar or Darius had for him he was going to see that day. As Robert Burns would say, “The best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley. An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain, For promis’d joy!” Or as Jesus tells it, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” So much of the trouble we face, if we are honest, is of our own making. It often is sourced from the fact that we seek to find wisdom in the cart before the horse. If Darius, for instance, had merely taken counsel from the words of Isaiah then he would have surely known his folly. One of the reasons why Christ in His mercy quotes so much from the Old Testament is to witness to us of the inestimable value of knowing that what is to be known is already revealed for our benefit.
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Throughout human history, wherever the Church has gone, education has followed. This is because of how Christianity understands life and the world, particularly the nature of reality itself and the human person. Education doesn’t make sense in a worldview that is only about survival. In a worldview that is only about survival, education is only utilitarian.
But within a worldview that says that the world itself came from a first cause that is intelligent, reasonable, knowable, and – this is important – wants to be known, there is solid grounding for actual knowledge, and therefore education.
Christianity says that God has made us in his own image. In other words, not only is God knowable, but humans are knowers. So, the act of learning is nothing less than, as Johannes Kepler put it, thinking God’s thoughts after him. Knowing God’s world leads to knowing God, and knowing God is what life is all about.
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When God began to reconstruct my faith, I realized how lonely I was and how much I needed help. I needed a community of believers to walk alongside me. I needed to sit under a faithful minister of the gospel and hear the word of God preached. 

Among the ever-growing list of controversies and threats to Christ’s church, the disturbance of deconstruction looms large. Over the past two years, we have all seen and listened to many stories of deconstruction from authors, musicians, and even YouTube personalities. Sadly, these stories are celebrated even by some Christians—the same Christians who then mock those who raised alarm over deconstruction.[1]
What I don’t often hear are stories of those who have reconstructed their faith. Since I couldn’t find many, I thought I would offer my own story of reconstruction after I abandoned Christianity for progressive Christianity.[2]
Dynamics of Deconstructed Faith
Most deconstruction stories start with a crisis. This was certainly my experience. I spent 2006-2008 attending a progressive Christian church in my college town. I read leading progressive theologians and pastors: Paul Tillich, Marcus Borg, John Dominic Crossan, Barbara Brown Taylor, Phyllis Tickle, and Phillip Gulley. I no longer believed the Bible was inspired, let alone authoritative. I denied miracles, the virgin birth, the incarnation, and even had deep doubts about the resurrection. I affirmed homosexuality, universalism, and social justice.[3]
My crisis started on the first day of classes in the fall of 2008 at Andover-Newton Theological School just outside of Boston.[4] One of my first classes was a required course for all the new MDiv students. The professor was the Dean of the school and an influential queer-feminist theologian who had recently left Harvard. She spent a good deal of time talking about the intersectionality and the task of the minister to affirm and support all the identities represented in a church. Here was where my crisis began. We did a class assignment where we took an inventory of our identities: race, sexuality, gender, etc. Some of us were confused, so she clarified, “What are your strongest identities? The ones that define you? For example, my primary identity is a lesbian woman in a 20-year committed relationship to my partner.” As progressive as I was, I thought that a Christian’s primary identity would be Christian—certainly for those Christians preparing for ordained ministry.
When we were done with the inventory, the professor showed us a pyramid of oppression. She started at the bottom with the most oppressed identities and worked her way up. This was what I wanted; I wanted to speak truth to power, fight oppression, and labor for liberation. However, after the class I felt empty and bothered. The pastor was presented as a problem solver for the culture. My mission would then be to create a more just and equitable society, not to care for souls. It struck me that we always talked about sin at the structural level but never at the personal level.
It also made me think back through all those authors I read. I don’t remember a single one mentioning the problem of personal sins. These people claimed to follow Jesus, but Jesus said, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person” (Mark 7:21-23). Why shouldn’t we follow Jesus when he said this? I could feel a knot in my stomach. The crisis had begun.
Meeting Jesus Again
My last class that day was a New Testament elective on the historical Jesus. The professor began class with a statement that I firmly believed when I woke up that morning:
“The Bible is an ancient document written decades and centuries after the events they record. The Gospels are early Church stories about Jesus and have very little value as historical evidence of Jesus. He never claimed to be God and in fact, probably died in a shallow grave somewhere close to the crucifixion.”
I saw my classmates’ heads shake and confirm their agreement. I realized at that moment that there was no point in me continuing at the seminary.[5] If this was what these progressive ministers believed about Jesus, the Scriptures, and the Church, then what was the point? Why not simply be a “good” person and enjoy lazy Sunday mornings? What was I supposed to say to a wife in my congregation whose husband was leaving her? What was I supposed to say to her husband? If there is no resurrection hope, how do I comfort someone at the hour of their death? I deconstructed my faith for over two years, and now found myself in an empty pit of despair. I wanted to be at a progressive seminary, and God allowed me to be there—and I only lasted a day.
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