Memorable Loss
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Is it possible for beauty to exist alongside realities as distressing as dementia and as dreadful as death? Is it possible to write about such realities in a way that is both devastating and encouraging, that is both shatteringly sorrowful and heartbreakingly beautiful? Karen Martin’s Memorable Loss: A Story of Friendship in the Face of Dementia answers with a resounding yes.
Karen Martin’s friendship with Kathleen was perhaps a bit unconventional, not least because they were separated in age by several decades. Yet after meeting through the local church, they became fast friends. Kathleen served as a kind of mentor and confidante, but, as is true in the best of friendships, Karen reciprocated despite her relative youth. Their love and friendship grew through many years and many shared experiences.
Eventually, though, Karen began to notice some changes in Kathleen. She became less comfortable in social settings, less confident in making decisions, and more easily confused. And then came the diagnosis of that most dreaded of diseases: Alzheimer’s. Kathleen had never married and was thus without children to care for her. And so Karen and a couple of Kathleen’s nephews took on the responsibility of helping her through her illness and guiding her through her diminishing abilities.
Alzheimer’s is both progressive and terminal. While Kathleen was at first able to care for herself, the time came when the disease progressed so far that she needed to be placed in a care home. She lived here in relative contentment until the end finally came.
Memorable Loss is Karen’s account of the days from immediately prior to Kathleen’s diagnosis all the way to her passing. It explains Alzheimer’s and dementia and shows how though they necessarily reduce the patient’s capacities, they do not reduce her personhood. It tells of some of the trials that caretakers must endure and some of the agonizing decisions they need to make on behalf of the one they love. And it does all of this through the highest quality of prose.
Martin tells not only of the tragedy of disease and death but of the beauty of the faith and friendship that bound the two women together. It’s an achingly beautiful account that leaves the reader groaning with the sorrow of this world but rejoicing in its delights and longing for the day when death and mourning, when crying and pain, will have passed away. I simply can’t recommend it too highly.
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What Does Your Faith Do For You?
It is good to be a man or woman of faith. It is good to be a man or woman who regularly attends church, who faithfully studies the Scriptures, who diligently puts sin to death and who joyfully comes alive to righteousness. This is all good and very good.
But every now and again it is important to ask something like this: What does your faith do for you? In those times when life is difficult, in those times when sorrows are many and answers are few, in those times when life is not going the way you had hoped, the way you had planned, the way you had dreamed, what does your faith do for you?
What does your faith do for your when wealth gives way to poverty and abundance gives way to lack? Do you forget all of the blessings you have enjoyed and neglect to give thanks for them? Do you grow disillusioned with God as if he is no longer worthy of your trust, your worship, and your adoration? Or do you profess, with confident humility “I can be content … for I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”
What does your faith do for you when you face the fires of persecution, when colleagues or family members or government officials harass you, disparage you, mistreat you, because of your love for the Lord? Do you respond to anger with anger and to insults with insults? Or do you respond peaceably, praying for that person and entrusting yourself to the God who judges fairly and faithfully?
What does your faith do for you when you are called to pass through trials? Does your heart rise up in rebellion against God that he has taken what you loved or failed to give what you longed for? Do you dispute his plans as if your will should always triumph over his and impugn his motives as if he could never gain glory through anything but your happiness? Or do you bow before him and, even through tears, submit your heart by saying “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.”
What does your faith do for you when your hands are emptied, when your mind is troubled, when your heart is broken, when your faith is tested? What then? Surely the Christian faith is meant to be displayed not only in the good times but also in the hard. Surely the light of Christ should shine most brightly in the darkness, the joy of Christ be heard most prominently in the gloom.
It is a good thing to have studied deeply in doctrine and theology and a great thing to have an extensive knowledge of Scripture. There is tremendous benefit in knowing creeds and catechisms and in reading the classics of the Christian faith. These are disciplines every Christian should practice with diligence.
Yet these practices are meant to serve a greater purpose—the purpose of godly living. These practices are meant to equip us to master every circumstance, to meet each one with a stout heart and a deep submission, with the joy of salvation and the character of Christ. These practices are meant to not merely inform our minds, but to train our hearts, to bend our knees, to lift our hands in worship even in the most discouraging of circumstances and even in the most difficult of providences.
And so I ask you to ask yourself: What does your faith do for you? It is inevitable that trials will come. It is inevitable that difficulties will make their way into your life. But it is not inevitable that you will pass through them well, that you will endure them with your faith intact and your godly character on display.
Those who pass through them well are the ones who have trained their minds to know what God says about his character, his will, his glory. They are the ones who have trained their hearts to respond to this divine revelation with joy and submission. And they are the ones who have surrendered not just their minds and hearts but their very life and circumstances, who have prayed “not my will, but your will be done.” And then, when the trial comes, when the light fades, when the rain pours, they diligently enact what they have believed, enact what they have professed, enact what they know to be true. They prove to themselves, they prove to those around, they prove to the Lord himself that their faith is true and deep, that it upholds and sustains, that with it they can endure any trial and emerge sweeter and better, holier and more fully devoted to God. -
New and Notable Christian Books for June 2022
As another month draws to its close, I want to make sure you’re up-to-date on some of the noteworthy new Christian books that released in June. In each case I have provided the editorial description so you can learn a little bit about it.
He Is Not Ashamed: The Staggering Love of Christ for His People by Erik Raymond. “Christians belong to God’s own family. This promise is difficult for some people to believe, and even for some believers to remember in their day-to-day struggles with shame or regret. But it’s repeated throughout the Bible, reflected in Christ’s genealogy, and true of the church today; God’s family is filled with broken people whose stories are a testament to his staggering love. In He Is Not Ashamed, Erik Raymond takes a close look at the ‘family portrait’ of God—filled with imperfect people throughout Scripture—and shows that God is not repelled by anyone’s shameful past, but delights to redeem and receive those who believe in him. Studying Hebrews 2:11 and other passages in both the Old and New Testaments, Raymond shows that Jesus’s heart is bent toward those who have an embarrassing history, feel far from God, or struggle with sin. By studying God’s abounding love for undeserving people, Christians learn to accept his grace and confidently embrace their place in God’s family portrait.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)
Proving Ground: 40 Reflections on Growing Faith at Work by Graham Hooper. “There is no such thing as untested Christian faith. The Bible shows us how testing experiences are common to every Christian and are part of God’s good work in making us the people he wants us to be. As we spend so much of our time working, (whether in the home, in voluntary work, study or in a paid job), our work, like every part of our life, provides opportunities to prove for ourselves that God is real and at work in his world for good. Graham Hooper has written this challenging and encouraging book for all Christians, but particularly for those struggling to ‘live out’ their faith at work, or questioning the worth of what they are doing.” (Buy it at Amazon)
Beautiful People Don’t Just Happen: How God Redeems Regret, Hurt, and Fear in the Making of Better Humans by Scott Sauls. “We all carry regret, hurt, and fear. These are burdens that weigh us down and make us feel trapped. In twenty-five years of pastoral ministry, Scott Sauls has come alongside countless individuals and communities through weary seasons and circumstances. From his own seasons of regret, hurt, and fear—including battles with anxiety and depression—he knows what it’s like to be unfinished and on the mend under Jesus’ merciful, mighty healing hand. Beautiful People Don’t Just Happen reads like a field guide that can help you: Find hope in how God is drawn toward you, not appalled by you, in your sin and sorrow; Practice emotional health with joy, gratitude, and lament; Quiet shaming, wearying thoughts with God’s divine counter-voice; Discover how the defining feeling of faith is not strength but dependent weakness; Learn what the Bible calls “the secret of being content” in every circumstance.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)
Why Believe?: A Reasoned Approach to Christianity by Neil Shenvi. “For centuries, skeptics have disputed the claims of Christianity—such as belief in an eternal God and the resurrection of Jesus Christ—arguing that they simply cannot be accepted by reasonable individuals. Furthermore, efforts to demonstrate the evidence and rational basis for Christianity through apologetics are often deemed too simplistic to be taken seriously in intellectual circles. Apologist and theoretical chemist Neil Shenvi engages some of the best contemporary arguments against Christianity, presenting compelling evidence for the identity of Jesus as portrayed in the Gospels, his death and resurrection, the existence of God, and the unique message of the gospel. Why Believe? calls readers from all backgrounds not only to accept Christianity as true, but also to entrust their lives to Christ and worship him alone.” (Buy it at Amazon)
The Air We Breathe: How We All Came to Believe in Freedom, Kindness, Progress, and Equality by Glen Scrivener. “Today in the west, many consider the church to be dead or dying. Christianity is seen as outdated, bigoted and responsible for many of society’s problems. This leaves many believers embarrassed about their faith and many outsiders wary of religion. But what if the Christian message is not the enemy of our modern Western values, but the very thing that makes sense of them? In this fascinating book, Glen Scrivener takes readers on a journey to discover how the teachings of Jesus not only turned the ancient world upside down, but continue to underpin the way we think of life, worth, and meaning. Far from being a relic from the past, the distinctive ideas of Christianity, such as freedom, kindness, progress and equality, are a crucial part of the air that we breathe. As author Glen Scrivener says in his introduction: ‘The extraordinary impact of Christianity is seen in the fact that we don’t notice it’.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)
The StoryChanger: How God Rewrites Our Story by Inviting Us into His by David Murray. “Each person’s life tells a story. These stories have happy chapters, sad chapters, boring chapters, and exciting chapters. Some people seem to author their own stories, while others have the pens snatched from their hands. Some stories feel hopeless. Can our stories ever be rewritten? Will they have a happy ending? David Murray introduces readers to the StoryChanger, Jesus Christ—the only one who can rewrite human stories with his better Story. Both Christians and non-Christians will discover how God’s Story can transform their own messy stories into stories worth telling.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)
A Still and Quiet Mind: Twelve Strategies for Changing Unwanted Thoughts by Esther Smith. “Are you distracted by racing or anxious thoughts? Distressed by intrusive or irrational thoughts? Struggling with sinful or untrue thoughts? You may feel trapped in your own head, but God and his Word have given you many different ways to find freedom. In this practical and sympathetic guidebook, biblical counselor Esther Smith provides twelve powerful strategies that are targeted to different thought struggles. Each chapter is filled with a variety of exercises so that you can begin to change your thoughts right away and live at peace.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)
Tell Me the Stories of Jesus: The Explosive Power of Jesus’ Parables by Albert Mohler. “‘He who has ears, let him hear…’ The Prodigal Son. The Good Samaritan. The parable of the mustard seed. The stories Jesus told during his earthly ministry are packed with such memorable images and characters that they now permeate our culture’s popular imagination. But what if their familiarity has muted their powerful message, causing today’s readers to miss their ability to shock and transform? In Tell Me the Stories of Jesus, renowned pastor and theologian R. Albert Mohler Jr. unlocks the power of Jesus’ parables for readers today. Jesus perfected the art of telling parables–short stories with a surprising twist and an explosive message that confronted his listeners with surprising (and often uncomfortable) truths about the human heart and the kingdom of heaven. But two thousand years later, modern readers may not grasp the cultural and historical context that made these stories so compelling for Jesus’ original audience. Mohler brings Jesus’ stories to life, uncovering the context and allowing readers to hear these stories in all their shocking, paradigm-shifting power.” (Buy it at Amazon)
A Better Encouragement: Trading Self-Help for True Hope by Lindsey Carlson. “Women thrive on encouragement, connection, and support. And yet, this desire leads many to be culturally catechized by a multibillion dollar self-help industry. Because foolish motivational messages flow freely from the world like a dripping faucet and are repeated by the person in the mirror, women remain discouraged, disconnected, and alone. If women believe happiness and success are their responsibility, they will assume discouragement must be too. Women need better news. In this hope-filled book, Lindsey Carlson leads weak and weary women to the well to find better refreshment in the living water of Christ, who speaks a better word of encouragement than the world. As women are connected to God’s promises and God’s people, they will be better encouraged to endure with their hope fixed on Christ.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)
Christian Parenting: Wisdom and Perspectives from American History by David P. Setran. “Today’s parenting guidance can sometimes feel timeless and inviolable—especially when it comes to the spiritual formation of children in Christian households. But even in the recent past, parenting philosophies have differed widely among Christians in ways that reflect the contexts from which they emerged. In this illuminating historical study, David Setran catalogs the varying ways American Protestants envisioned the task of childrearing in the seventeenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth centuries. Comparing two main historical time periods—the colonial era and the Victorian era—Setran uncovers common threads, opposing viewpoints, and the cultural and religious influences behind the dominant parenting ‘postures’ of each era. The implications of his findings matter for today’s big questions about parenting…” (Buy it at Amazon)
The Seed of the Woman: 30 Narratives that Point to Jesus by Nana Dolce. “The Seed of the Woman traces the gospel storyline through the narratives of women―from the garden of Eden to the times of the matriarchs, the judges, the kings, the Exile―to the birth of Christ. In this thoroughly biblical and encouraging book, Nana Dolce opens up their lives and uncovers deep truths that shape our daily life and faith. Through the stories of these thirty women, we find our place in the fabric of redemptive history as it unfolds to show us Jesus, the promised Seed of the Woman.” (Buy it now at Amazon) -
A La Carte (November 15)
Good morning, my friends. Grace and peace to you today.
(Yesterday on the blog: A Pastoral Prayer for Unity Amid Pandemic)
Unmaking the Patriarchy
Neil Shenvi has posted an interesting review of a popular and influential book. “Beth Allison Barr’s The Making of Biblical Womanhood belongs to a growing genre of (post)evangelical social scholarship. Using a combination of history, sociology, and political analysis, books like [these books] aim to show that conservative evangelicalism has been built on the foundation of racism, or sexism, or nationalism such that it needs to be substantially reformed if not outright dismantled.”
Is Complementarity Merely Functional?
Speaking of that subject, here’s Piper answering a question on complementarity. “I suppose it’s inevitable that the longer a label is used — like complementarianism or complementarity — the easier it is for the label to replace the reality. The label complementarian, as a designation for how men and women relate to each other, has been around for about 35 years. I would want to stress that labels are only valuable if they capture and communicate reality. It’s the biblical reality that we really care about, not so much the label.”
Beware Evangelical Talk
“When I was a brand new missions pastor, I was given a great piece of advice from the lead pastors that I reported to. ‘Beware Evangelical talk,’ they said.” Here’s an explanation of that…
Should the Church Have Authority over Me?
“If we were to put together ten rules for constructing a moral society, it is doubtful that many would emphasize parental respect. Why then does God bother to put in a commandment about honoring your parents? What’s the big deal?”
Don’t Reject God Because of His People
This is true and important: “We shouldn’t reject the whole body of God’s truth because some of His people, or those who professed to be His people, fell so far from His ideal. They’re accountable for their sins and failures, but what they do doesn’t void the truth they taught. We’re accountable for the truth we’ve heard despite the vessels it sometimes came through.”
The Songs We Sing Say a Lot About What We Believe
There are some interesting observations here. “As a worship pastor in Canada, I have observed that our liturgical database, though full of songs of praise and the experience of salvation, lacks other important theological themes. Songs of lament? None. Songs of Christian fellowship? Few and far between. Another thin theological theme in our songs is biblical eschatology.”
The Beauty and Dangers of Familiarity with God
“Familiarity, which means having a close acquaintance with or knowledge of something, can be good and bad. In the Bible, we are called to respond to God’s everlasting love and draw close to Him. We are invited to love Him, treasure Him, revere Him and know Him intimately. Yet, familiarity lacking these can lead to casualness.”
Flashback: 18 Prayers to Pray for Unbelievers
God loves to hear us pray and God loves to respond to our prayers. So as you pray for unbelievers, pray with confidence that God hears your prayers.Why do we love to read the Scriptures daily? Because they speak to us of home. Why do we live differently from those around us? Because we remember that we are soon going home. —Iain Duguid