One Simple Question a Friend Can Always Ask
When we say, “I’ll pray for you,” it can often also become a way of exiting the conversation. When someone is sharing details that are too intimate or too uncomfortable or too painful, we can extricate ourselves pretty neatly with a statement like that. But in asking, “How would you like me to pray?” we are actually pressing in. We are inviting more disclosure. More knowledge. More intimacy. We are choosing to step closer rather than step away, and this is what a true friend does. A true friend presses in.
Friendship Is Work
The older I get, the more convinced I become that it’s true. That’s because when you’re younger, you have natural and regular points of personal connection with the same group of people. You see them every day at school, you play beside them on the court or field, you sit next to them at lunch. These are friends, sure, but they are friends by association. Or, if you’re a little more cynical, they are friends of convenience.
But as you get older, you become more established. You acquire more and more responsibilities. The schedule gets busier. And as a result, friendships are affected. You no longer have as many of these natural and regular connections, and as a result, you have to work at friendships. Every relationship has a cost, and you have to subconsciously weigh the value of that relationship against the cost in time, resources, and energy it will take to maintain and grow it.
I suppose, then, it’s a bit natural that real friendships get smaller in number the older you get. Natural, but still a bit sad. Perhaps that’s one of the many reasons why moving into the empty nest phase of life is so difficult – it’s because parents center their lives around their children, and with the children moving out and moving on, they find a lack of shared interests and a lack of other relationships.
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Are You Bored with the Gospel?
Over the past decade a floodwater of cultural change in our country has occurred, leaving a massive impact on the church in America. Twenty years ago, there was a push to address the issue of mercy ministry and evangelism in our churches. Much of this was, no doubt, a helpful corrective to a perceived deficiency in local churches.
Today, the loudest voices speak incessantly about issues related to social justice, intersectionality, and human flourishing. Time will most certainly tell whether this was a needed corrective or a toxic corrosive for the church. Movements and organizations spring up almost as fast as they whither. The leaders of many social and para-ecclesial syndicates wish to influence the church in such a way that the church will embrace the obligations they press on her.
There is a noticeable lack of focus on the Gospel in many churches today.
When I sit back and read the deluge of thoughts and opinions online about what the church ought to be doing, I sense a noticeable lack of focus on the Gospel. In the many Twitter rants that recur on a daily basis, there is a discernible deficiency with regard to Scripture and the Gospel. Any intellectually honest assessment of the content of so much that is bandied about on the Internet must necessarily lead to the conclusion that people are bored with the Gospel.
Either they don’t believe that it is “the power of God unto salvation for those who believe,” or they have convinced themselves that the Gospel is simply one among many messages that ought to take front seat in the message and ministry of the church. In either case, the only conclusion we can draw from the fact that the preaching of the Gospel is no longer the center of gravity in the message and ministry of many churches in our day is that people don’t believe the Gospel works. They are not astonished by the glory, majesty, unspeakable greatness of the message of Christ crucified and risen.
The central message of Scripture is the message of the Gospel.
When we turn to the Scriptures, we get everything necessary for life and godliness. We hear God’s voice in Scripture. “The Holy Spirit says,” “The Spirit said through…,” and “As the Spirit says,” are some of the most commonly used introductions to Old Testament citations in the New Testament. The whole of the Bible is the whole of God’s word. It is God speaking by the Holy Spirit to the church. The church is perfected by the washing of the water of the word and the proclamation of the whole counsel of God given by those men God has called and equipped to faithfully preach and teach the Gospel. Christ is the only head of the church and as such is the sole authority for how the church is to function in the world.
Jesus is also the great High Priest of his church and the perfect sacrifice for the salvation of the souls of his people. The central message of Scripture is the message of the Gospel—the good news of what God has done through the death and resurrection of Jesus for the salvation of his people. Surely, the message of the cross impacts more than simply the forgiveness of the sins of an individual, but it is not less than that. In fact, whenever the Gospel in preached by the apostles, that is the central message of the cross.
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Forgetting the Past and Focusing on the Future
We consider our past not as our present identity but as a means of celebrating what Christ has done in and for us, a means of understanding ourselves to aid in our sanctification, and a reminder to keep our focus on Christ not ourselves.
Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear: forget your people and your father’s house, and the king will desire your beauty. Since he is your lord, bow to him. The people of Tyre will seek your favor with gifts, the richest of the people. All glorious is the princess in her chamber, with robes interwoven with gold. In many-colored robes she is led to the king, with her virgin companions following behind her. With joy and gladness they are led along as they enter the palace of the king. In place of your fathers shall be your sons; you will make them princes in all the earth. I will cause your name to be remembered in all generations; therefore nations will praise you forever and ever. – Psalm 45:10-17, ESV
We have been examining the theme of identity in Christ and how that affects our judgment. Job’s wife showed us that we should look for patterns of faithfulness rather than fixating on failures. The woman who anointed Jesusshowed us that the identity of a saint as forgiven by Christ far supersedes even the most checkered past, so we should look for the fruit of genuine faith and repentance: love for Christ and the saints. But perhaps the strongest statement in Scripture exhorting us to focus on our identity in Christ was said nearly a millennium before Christ came: the bride in Psalm 45. We like her are called to forget the past, submit to the lordship of Christ, and focus on the future to build His Kingdom.
An Ancient Royal Wedding
Psalm 45 was written by the sons of Korah to celebrate a royal wedding: “My heart overflows with a pleasing theme; I address my verses to the king; my tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe” (Psalm 45:1). That king was most likely Solomon.[1] The psalmist praises the king before addressing the bride: a foreign princess, perhaps Pharoah’s daughter.[2] He then describes the wedding procession and ends by addressing the king again focusing on future generations. So while this psalm is poetic, it describes a wedding of real people that actually occurred.[3]
What does this have to do with us? First, every marriage reflects Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Second, the psalmist alludes to the eternality of the kingdom, thus referencing the Davidic covenant ultimately fulfilled by Christ. Third and most important, this psalm ultimately refers to Christ because Hebrews says so when quoting it: “But of the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever, the scepter of uprightness is the scepter of your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions” (Hebrews 1:8-9 citing Psalm 45:6-7). So while the bridegroom in the psalm was likely Solomon, he foreshadowed the ultimate Bridegroom: Jesus Christ. And since Christ has only one Bride, Solomon’s bride foreshadows the Church.[4]
Portrait of the Bridegroom
With this perspective, look at the description of the king: “You are the most handsome of the sons of men; grace is poured upon your lips; therefore God has blessed you forever” (Psalms 45:2). Jesus was without any majesty or beauty and marred beyond recognition during His suffering (Isaiah 52:14, 53:2), but afterward He was exalted, which is how He is described here. Next, the psalmist exhorts the king: “Gird your sword on your thigh, O mighty one, in your splendor and majesty! In your majesty ride out victoriously for the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness; let your right hand teach you awesome deeds! Your arrows are sharp in the heart of the king’s enemies; the peoples fall under you” (Psalms 45:3-5). To many modern Christians this would seem unfitting for Jesus or a wedding, but we see similar statements in other psalms (eg. Psalm 2, 110), and the Wedding Supper of the Lamb is closely connected to Christ’s conquest (Revelation 19). As we have previously seen, the harmless and effeminate “boyfriend Jesus” worshipped in many churches is a false god with little resemblance to the mighty conquering King seen here. The psalmist then describes the king’s righteous reign, with His scepter of uprightness, love of righteousness, and hatred of wickedness, which can only be perfectly said of Christ. And just like Psalm 110, the psalmist calls the king God but then speaks of God: “Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions” (Psalm 45:7b).
The focus then shifts to wedding preparation, starting with the king’s robe that is so saturated with expensive perfume that it might as well be made of it.[5] This fits his extravagant ivory palace filled with music. The entire atmosphere looks, sounds, and smells beautiful and opulent. The king’s abundance is also seen in the court: “daughters of kings are among your ladies of honor; at your right hand stands the queen in gold of Ophir” (Psalm 45:9). In this way he does not foreshadow Christ. With any exegesis, we must understand the audience. The psalmist describes this king as gloriously as possible for his ancient near-eastern audience, which included the splendor of his harem (Ecclesiastes 2:8)—despite the fact that God explicitly commanded Israel’s kings to refrain from this (Deuteronomy 17:17). When discussing the Law, we noted how polygamy was a gross distortion of God’s design that was allowed but regulated until Christ made it obsolete. Solomon exercised no restraint in sexual self-indulgence, which was ultimately his downfall (1 Kings 11). Contrary to this, Christ has only one Bride and commands that every leader in His Church to likewise be “husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2,12, Titus 1:6). So while the psalmist was describing this wedding as gloriously as possible, we have the advantage of looking beyond it to a Bridegroom infinitely better than Solomon.
The Exhortation: Forget, Submit, Focus on the Future
The focus then shifts to the bride. Here, the psalmist essentially speaks like a father giving one last piece of advice, starting with a threefold preamble: “Hear, O daughter and consider, and incline your ear” (Psalm 45:10a). This repetition means that what will follow is infinitely important. He tells her to forget her heritage (Psalm 45:10b) and bow to her husband as lord (Psalm 45:11b). This complements Genesis 2:24 which calls on the husband to leave his parents to be united to his wife.[6] Here, the bride is leaving her parents to be united to her husband. This is the Gospel: Jesus Christ left the Father to earth and win His Bride (the Church). He then ascended back to heaven to prepare a place for His Bride, whom He calls to leave Her sinful past in order to be united to Him. Therefore we must heed these instructions and their accompanying blessings just like this bride.
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Law and Gospel in Moral Reasoning
The only hope of being delivered from the tyranny of ever-changing, man-made standards of righteousness is to be clearly committed to and advocates of God’s one, unchanging standard as summarized in the Ten Commandments. Without this, Christian moral reasoning is lost and virtue and righteousness will be dictated by the most effective mob. But, understanding and embracing such biblical wisdom grants freedom and strength to withstand the mobs and refuse to kowtow to their demands of obeisance to their false gods and compliance to their false standards.
One of great failures of modern evangelical Christians that has been undeniably made manifest over the last few years is the lack of moral reasoning that plagues so many of our number—even those regarded as leaders. I have commented on this and written about it in relation to racial tensions and abortion and politics. At the bottom of this deficiency, I have argued, is a failure to recognize and think deeply about the teaching of God’s Word on law and gospel. Many of our leaders have rightly encouraged us to keep “the gospel above all” but have done so in ways that suggest there is no place for the law.
One of the great needs of our day is to recover what was better understood by many of our forebears about the relationship between law and gospel. Specifically, we need to face up to the fact that the God who gave us His gospel has also given us His law and He cares as much about His law being obeyed as He does His gospel being believed. Such understanding is no threat to the gospel. On the contrary, it exalts the gospel and protects it from antinomianism on the one hand and legalism on the other. In fact, the gospel cannot be properly appreciated apart from a recognition and appreciation of the law. The very subsoil of Mount Calvary is Mount Sinai.
This is what I mean: Without the law, there is no sin and without the knowledge of the law there can be no recognition of sin (Romans 4:15, 5:13, 7:7-8; 1 John 3:4). Without sin, there is no need for grace—specifically, the grace of God in the gospel.
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