They begin to question their role or place in a family, a school, friend group, or world. As they question these things, it is easy for the teen to falsely believe that everything would be better if life was over. This false belief can take residence in the heart. When upset, hurt, disappointed, discontent, angry, or otherwise emotionally disturbed, the teen rehearses this over and over. They question whether or not everyone else would be better if they ended their own life. It is here, we must break the sequence. The music, online culture, and often friend groups do nothing to help draw these thoughts and ideas out of a teen. As long as the teen is left to walk down this path of poor perspective on life and living, suicidal ideation increases. It is necessary to parachute into the conversation.

In the recent days, I have heard of several teenagers who have died so young and needlessly. Whether it is in our neighborhood or perhaps someone you know, our hearts break. Why would a child think this is the best option? With all of life ahead, one of our young ones decides to take his or her life. As parents, friends, and concerned adults who love their community, we desire to help, to keep these things from every happening again, and somehow provide hope.
We talk to our own children, engage with their friends, and try to help with total humility. All of us as adults realize that death is no respecter of persons. Any child can be influenced, discouraged, or even momentarily devastated circumstantially. In the process, a child makes a decision which affects everyone. I think we would all say, the child drastically underestimates the love, concern, and hopes of those around him or her.
Why? How do we better understand what is taking place?
Let me suggest four obstacles to life as a teenager. The better we understand these things, the better we will be able to help our own children deal with life around them.
Four Obstacles to Life as a Teen

Trying to understand the challenges of our teenagers is important if we hope to provide them hope and help.

“GOD ISN’T PLAYING MY GAME.”

Teenagers struggle understanding or applying God’s sovereignty to their individual lives. God’s plan may be much different than what the teen desires.  Think through these areas: size, shape, personality, economic situation, neighborhood, skin, talent, relationships, and more. In each of these categories, what a teenager gets as part of God’s plan may be diametrically opposed to what he or she wants.
“I wish I were taller/bigger/shorter/smaller.”
“I wish my personality was different.”
“I wish I could afford different clothes, better car, better shoes, etc.”
“I wish we didn’t live in an apartment, had a better house, lived in a different neighborhood, or had better stuff in my room.”
“I wish I looked different, had a different skin tone, didn’t have so many pimples, looked better in my clothes, etc.”
“I wish I had a car.”
These are just a few of the many statements we could report. You understand them. At the end of the day, we have all been there to one degree or another.
The problem: the teen is dissatisfied with the sovereignty of God. God’s plan does not match the teen’s dreams or desires.

“MY FAMILY IS SO NOT PERFECT.”

For years, dad, mom, brothers, sisters, and grandparents were the best. Children long to play with their siblings, spend time with their parents, and enjoy time with their family. Children look to parents with joy, honor, and respect.
Those days slowly change for so many.
“Dad, why do you have to wear socks with your sandals?”
“Mom, why are you wearing that?”
“It is unfair. What you did for him, you don’t do for me.”
“You people are so inconsistent.”
“I get in trouble when I say or do that, but you do it as well.”
“Why does mom have to be so loud?”
“Can’t we do something different than just spend time together?”
Sometimes it feels overnight, but parents go from hero to zero. Where it was a joy to hang out, spend time together, and just love each other, now the teen sees other parents and families as cool, desires to spend more time away from the house, and can’t understand the family’s rules, priorities, or decisions.

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If I had to plot out a short reading list with one book from each era, I might go in this order: The Pilgrim’s Progress, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, A Little Book on the Christian Life, Holiness, Knowing God, Confessions, the Religious Affections. Either way, I hope this article brings some clarity and motivates you to explore some of the true classics of the Christian faith.

A reader of this site recently got in touch to ask me for some book suggestions. She has been a believer for quite a long time and along the way has heard of the value of reading “Christian classics.” Yet she hasn’t been sure where to begin and asked for some guidance. I was glad to take on that challenge!
In this article I will offer some suggestions that cover various eras from the early church until the late twentieth century. I should note that these recommendations will tend more toward literature that is devotional than scholarly or purely theological. And I should note as well that there is not a person in the world who will agree with every book I’ve included and every book I’ve excluded—and that is just fine because there is always a degree of subjectivity to these things. And now, without further ado, here are some Christian classics to consider reading.
John Bunyan allegorical The Pilgrim’s Progress is one of the bestselling books in all of history and a great place to begin. It has never gone out of print and in one way or another has influenced every generation of Christians since it was first published in the late 1600s. For those reasons alone it is well worth a read. Though you can find modernizations that adapt the language either lightly or significantly, the original is still surprisingly accessible. There are also some lovely audio versions available. If you’d like to listen to it, I recommend the Nadia May recording. If you’d like to read a slight modernization, this one by Crossway is well done. Otherwise, perhaps try this edition. (Most editions contain part 1 and part 2—the journeys of Christian and Christiana. You can consider yourself to have read The Pilgrim’s Progress once you complete part 1 since that is the original work.)
We should go back in time a little to make sure we don’t neglect the earliest Christian classics, which include the most noteworthy work of Augustine: Confessions. It is available in a multitude of editions and translations.
I know little about the 1,000 years between Augustine and the Puritans so don’t have a lot to offer here beyond names like Dante and Thomas Aquinas. But as far as I can tell, this was not an era in which there were a lot of devotional works that have since been affirmed by Protestants. (Authors like Thomas à Kempis and Brother Lawrence are still read and treasured today, but typically not by Reformed Protestants.) Calvin’s A Little Book on the Christian Life gets us into the Reformation era and is an excerpt of the most practical section of his Institutes.
You may have heard of the Puritans and been told you should try reading their books. When we talk about “Puritan books,” we are talking about thousands of titles written over more than a century, many of them incredibly voluminous, so there are more options than any one person could read in a lifetime (except maybe Joel Beeke).
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Every aspect of your life story is underscored and interwoven with God’s love. You and I never “move on” from remembering and basking in his steadfast love. We never graduate from the school of his love. It’s the spiritual air we breathe, the oxygen we need as we embrace blessings, endure hardship, and wrestle with sin. How much we need to count on the reality that he’s set his love upon us no matter what, and that he is truly working all things for good for those he fiercely loves.

­Does the love of God still feel like breaking news in your life? If we’re honest, sometimes the “old, old story” seems, well, old to us, particularly if we’ve been a Christian for many years. But the writers of Scripture never tire of recounting this theme. They never take it for granted.
Psalm 136 gives us a vivid picture of what keeping God’s steadfast love front and center looks like in the life story of God’s people. It begins with thanksgiving to God (v.1–3) and recites Israel’s history from the creation of the world (v.4–9), through the exodus (v.10–16), and into the promised land (v.17–22). In fact, there are several other psalms that rehearse Israel’s story, including Psalms 78, 105, 106, and 135. But Psalm 136 is unique for the phrase that is repeated in every single verse—a total of 26 times!—“for his steadfast love endures forever.”
In one sense, the story reads more smoothly without the refrain. Just try reading the first half of each verse aloud and skip the refrain, and you will see that it’s quite coherent. Doing this, however, would subvert the inspired poet’s aim, which we start to grasp when we read it aloud all the way through. Try it now. What do you notice? Did the refrain sometimes feel like overkill to you? Did you find yourself impatient to get through the psalm? Were you bored and thinking by the end, “Yeah, yeah, I know.” I’ve certainly experienced that as I’ve read this psalm in the past, but in my most recent reading, I took time to consider: What is the psalmist’s point in keeping this refrain front and center throughout?
In fact, the refrain serves as a spiritual speed bump. It slows us down. Its repetition draws our attention again and again to God. It reminds us that absolutely everything that happened in Israel’s history is purposeful and is tethered to the steadfast love of God. Creation. Rescue from slavery. Sustenance in the wilderness. Inheritance of the promised land. Through good and bad, thick and thin, sin and suffering, God is accomplishing his good purposes in his people.
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