Every now and again I just can’t help myself—I respond to a clickbait headline and find myself reading an advice column. The question this time was from a woman who had become disillusioned with her husband and enamored with someone else. And as I read the columnist’s response I thought, “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how Satan would counsel if he was asked.” That got me thinking…

If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that marriage was invented by human beings, either for reasons related to humanity’s evolutionary origins or related to men’s need to control and dominate women. He would want people to believe that because marriage came from within this world rather, it in no way reflects any kind of divine design for human beings or human society. This makes it not only unnecessary but possibly harmful and oppressive.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that marriage offers no great benefits that cannot be had with singleness, cohabitation, or serial monogamy. He would want people to believe, to the contrary, that marriage offers risks and drawbacks that are mitigated or avoided altogether when people choose not to marry.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that marriage is primarily a matter of an individual’s personal lifestyle, that before marriage is about giving oneself to another person to love and to serve, marriage is about a sense of personal well-being and fulfillment.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe marriage is so risky that it is best to postpone it almost indefinitely, that it is so significant and perilous an undertaking that people should not even consider it until they have completed their education, begun a career, and become well established in life. He would especially want young people to anticipate it with a sense of dread instead of excitement.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that marriage is a union between any two—or three or four—willing partners regardless of any factor related to their sex or maybe even their family relationship. He would also want to be clear that marriage can be easily dissolved when it is no longer satisfying or desirable—“’til death or dissatisfaction do us part.”
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to miss the contradiction that while marriage is in some ways insignificant and easily dissolved, it is also so significant that a wedding should cost tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars and that the institution is best dignified when a couple puts themselves heavily in debt to make sure every detail is perfect. He would want people to believe that the best measure of a successful wedding is that it wows the attendees, glorifies the couple, and looks great on Instagram.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that marriage is where sex goes to die rather than to thrive and that a lifetime of sex with one person can be nowhere near as satisfying as fleeting moments of sex with a long succession of people. He would want them to be suspicious that to enter marriage is to settle for sexual mediocrity rather than fulfillment. He would make sure this message is so endlessly repeated in popular culture that it becomes almost a given.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that children are a hindrance to a happy marriage rather than a blessing to it and that people are happiest when dedicating themselves entirely to themselves rather than to others. And if they still insisted on having children, he would want them to think of those children as a lifestyle choice, as a kind of prop to be used to enhance a parent’s sense of personal satisfaction.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want struggles or issues a couple encounters to be left festering and unresolved. “It’s fine and good to let the sun set on your anger.” He would most certainly not want the couple to reach out to others for counsel, prayer, or even rebuke.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want husbands to be passive in their leadership and wives to be so disappointed in that lack of leadership that they feel justified in failing to respect their husbands. He would want wives to determine that submission is a mark of weakness and that if it is given at all, it should be given only when it is earned. He would want husbands to treat their wives harshly instead of gently and to express constant disappointment rather than delight.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would encourage husbands and wives to each insist that problems can only be resolved when the other person makes the first move. He would ensure they each consider it impossible to continue to love and serve their spouse when he or she fails to reciprocate that love.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that there is one soulmate out there for each of them and that after a number of years of marriage, they may learn, to their disappointment, that the person they married is not “the one.” He would want people to then believe that they will only truly be happy if they leave their spouse to pursue this soulmate.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want even Christians to focus more on the struggles and difficulties of marriage than on its joys. He would want even Christians to talk often about how hard it is and seldom about how good it is. And he would most certainly want Christians to forget all about the reality that the deepest meaning of marriage is not first about a husband and wife but about Christ and his church.

I am aware that the categories of introvert and extrovert are not described or even hinted at within the pages of the Bible. My understanding is that the terms arose from the mind of Carl Jung and were popularized through his teachings—teachings that oppose Scripture in a host of ways.
Yet there is still something to the idea of introversion and extroversion—that some people are more naturally outgoing and talkative while others are more naturally inward and reserved. This simply describes what we have all observed, that some are more affable than others and that while some are refreshed and energized by being with people, others are refreshed and energized by being apart from people. Through some combination of nature and nurture, that’s just how we are.
Personally, I fall well within the ranks of the introverts. I genuinely love people and enjoy being around them. However, being surrounded by others and immersed in conversation eventually begins to drain me and I find refreshment in solitude. That may be as simple as ducking out of an activity for five minutes to do a bit of an internal reset or it may be as complicated as taking week-long vacations with no one but my family. While some people are drained by solitude and invigorated by company, I tend to be invigorated by solitude and drained by company.
There was a time in my life when I allowed introversion to provide a ready excuse when I did not want to do something—when I did not want to accept an invitation, attend a gathering, or meet a new person. After all, why would I do something that clashes with my personality, that drains me, and that I can find exceedingly difficult?
However, I encountered a challenge when I began to consider church leadership and the character of a man who aspires to be an elder—character that is meant to exemplify what God expects of all Christians. As I studied those qualifications and passed through the early stages of examination, it became clear that I was failing to fulfill some of them. If I was going to be hospitable, if I was going to faithfully instruct others in the Word, and if I was going to know and be known by the people I would lead and love, I would need to address some of my natural tendencies. While being a leader in a church would not require a personality transplant, it would require a willingness to deny some of my own comfort.
I decided at that time to commit to being a dutiful introvert. A dutiful introvert is one who acknowledges and accepts what is true about himself but also determines he will never let it interfere with his duty before the Lord. He will not pretend he is an extrovert or stop valuing times of solitude, but he will also not allow his personality to excuse any failure to fulfill the opportunities God presents to him.
I have a duty of love to greet visitors at my church and have no right to allow my introversion to keep me from making another person feel seen, acknowledged, and welcomed. So I will greet others.
I have a duty of hospitality to those who would benefit from it and have no right to allow my introversion to keep me from opening my life and opening my home. So I will invite others in.
I have a duty of care to shepherd the people of my church and have no right to allow my introversion to keep me from getting to know them so I can tend to their spiritual needs. So I will create and accept opportunities to begin new relationships and foster existing ones.
Introversion can never be allowed to negate duty or justify a failure to love.Share
In short, introversion can never be allowed to negate duty or justify a failure to love. This is the commitment of a dutiful introvert.
It has not always been easy and I haven’t always been successful, but I have observed something interesting along the way: The more I have forced myself to be dutiful, the easier duty has become. The more I have pushed to deny myself, the more joy I’ve found in self-denial. I have not become an extrovert—not nearly!—but neither is that my desire or goal. I have remained who I am, but with duty added to it—duty and the delight that flows from it.

The Lord be with you and bless you today.
Today’s Kindle deals include books on prayer, books for counselors, and a classic by R.C. Sproul.
Logos users will want to look at the commentaries and other books on sale this month. There is also a free book that is yours for the taking and another here.

In a world in which so much has become fast and cheap, Darryl expresses the importance of pursuing what is slow and costly.

There are a few different perspectives on what the Proverb means by “train up a child in the way he should go.” This article lays out some options and gives some instructions to parents.

“Just before the opening ceremony of the Fourth Lausanne Congress for World Evangelization—a gathering of more than 5,000 church leaders from around the world—the Seoul Statement was released.” Trevin Wax looks at some of the encouraging highlights of the statement.

Here are some brief diagnostic questions that may be helpful for you to ponder alone or with your spouse.

Justin Huffman: “It is important to recognize that the Christian life can be a series of ups and downs, confidence and doubts. However, the faith that God gives us in Jesus Christ is (praise God!) not based on our feelings or even on our faithfulness. Neither is God’s love toward us. This is important to remember, because discouragement is one of the most effective tools in Satan’s bag of tricks.”

“Christians have a great right hook. One thing Christians are aware of is that ‘all have sinned’ (Rom 3:23). We know that all of us have fallen short of God’s glory and we are not yet perfected. And another thing that we rightly hate is the hypocrisy found within the church. We want to point out the shortcomings of leaders, churches, and other Christians in an attempt to show the world that we know our own depravity. We want those around us to know that we don’t think too highly of ourselves and we will gladly point out flaws. Here’s my question: Do you only punch right?”

Where your temptation may be to interpret God through what you know about your tragedy, it is infinitely more important to interpret your tragedy through what you know about God. 

When you hear of a notorious sinner, instead of thinking you do well to be angry, beg of Jesus Christ to convert, and make him a monument of his free grace.
—George Whitefield

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