Share your pain with someone and ask for prayers. God has saved us to be a part of a family in Christ, and this community context is vital for our spiritual growth, especially when we face trials. Some parents tend to keep their sufferings and problems to themselves, either to avoid exposing their children or for they do not want to be judged as a failure. However, the Christian is not called to live a lonely life. It is always possible to seek aid in the body of Christ.

In the Christian life no experience seems to be more harrowing than seeing someone we love turning away from the Lord. If this person is a son or daughter, the pain is even greater. Christian parents never raise their children to be lost because they know what the Bible teaches about the destiny of those who go astray from God’s ways. Therefore, the rebellion of the children is almost unbearable.
The suffering caused by the deviation of the loved one is aggravated by the frustration of noticing that all the appeals for repentance do not produce any effect. Having a conversation becomes challenging because the interests have become different; the core values and patterns of behavior are not the same. There is also a constant feeling of impotence since the parents cannot change their children’s minds and hearts.
Many times, these parents experience existential crisis outbreaks, being filled with despair. Thus, in these cases, a friendly comforting, a shoulder to cry on, and an open ear are always welcome. I would like to share some practical principles and actions to reflect on:

Rejoice in the Lord always. The Bible teaches us that the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10). Also, rejoicing in who God is and in what He has done for us in Christ Jesus is a living testimony to the rebellious children as well. If the children see their parents always sad, depressed, and in despair because of their wrong choices, they might question the solidity of their parents’ faith. Satan is crafty enough to lead them into thinking that their parents love them more than they love God. Was not this Satan’s accusation about Job when he suggested that he loved God only because of his possessions and family stability (Job 1)? Therefore, exercise your joy in the Lord in various ways, proclaiming the Gospel’s wonderful truths to yourself, listening or singing hymns and songs that speak of the Lord’s kindness unto you. Furthermore, remember that rejoicing in Jesus Christ is a wonderful commandment to all Christians (Philippians 4:4).
Share your pain with someone and ask for prayers. God has saved us to be a part of a family in Christ, and this community context is vital for our spiritual growth, especially when we face trials. Some parents tend to keep their sufferings and problems to themselves, either to avoid exposing their children or for they do not want to be judged as a failure. However, the Christian is not called to live a lonely life. It is always possible to seek aid in the body of Christ. A good biblical example in this venue is the story of Daniel (Daniel 1). Apparently, Daniel decided by himself to resist Nebuchadnezzar’s offers (v.8). Although, later, the reader can see that he had the support, help, and prayers of his three friends, and it was crucial for his success. Therefore, do not face this problem alone.
Pray without ceasing for the salvation of your children. We know that the only person that can change hearts is the Holy Spirit. Our argumentations, love gestures, rebukes, and exhortation are ineffective to save them from their sins. Some parents try to manipulate their rebel children by appealing to their feelings and emotions, good sense, and logic. However, they forget that the children are far from the Lord, in a relationship with the world, and their affections, values, and logic are not the same as their parents’. The parents ought to intercede for them before the Lord, who has the power to convince them of sin, justice, and judgment. Pray with your children for them, as well.
Strengthen your marriage. Few parents notice how much the rebellion of their children affects their conjugal relationship. Sometimes, the parents end up investing more energy and time on their children’s problems than in their marital relationship. The relationship might become burdened by arguments and fights concerning the rebellious child. In this case, the parents suffer not only from the distancing of their children but also they begin to live a cold and weak marriage. Therefore, the husband and the wife should make provisions to be united at this time, pray together, cry together, and strengthen one another.
Pray that God may reveal to your children the ugliness of the world. The Bible teaches that the world lies in the power of the evil one (1 John 5:19), and only God can reveal the darkness and ugliness of this world. Thus, the content of the prayer of these parents should encompass that the Lord opens their eyes to see the evilness of this world and the despair of a godless life. The prayer of supplication that God may open the eyes of the rebellious child is indispensable.
Ask forgiveness for the mistakes you have committed in your parenting. Often times, to affirm their new lifestyle, a child that has gone astray will point to your parenting errors. It might be hard to agree with a rebellious child, but we are called to apologize for our mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes in parenting, and even though these mistakes do not justify the rebellion of the children, apologizing for them sets an example of Christian humility.
Be gracious to them as God is gracious to you. It is crucial that parents of rebellious children remember that once they also rebelled against God, and that God graciously saved and redeemed them, bringing them to a new life in Christ Jesus. In His works of salvation, God uses both the severity of the law and the love and mercy of His grace. The problem is that often the parents of rebellious children solely remember to talk to them about the severity of God’s law, and they forget to tell them about the riches of God’s grace that is found in Jesus. It is necessary to find a balance in how we present the law and grace of God. In this case, we should learn directly from God, as He shows us in the Bible how He has dealt with us.
Spend time with your child. Try to spend some quality time with your child. You should enjoy your children’s company, and your children should enjoy spending some time with you. It is not appropriate to talk about how terrible your child’s sin is during this time but cultivate a friendship with your child. It does not mean to approve blindly his/her actions. Rebuke and exhortation are fundamental, but it does not need to be the exclusive topic of conversation in your family. Pray for wisdom so that you can enjoy your child as much as possible, and never forget that there is an appointed time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1).
Be careful not to indulge them. On the parable of the prodigal son, the rebellious child needed to reach rock bottom first. The Father never ceased to wait for his son’s return. But he did not send his son money or letters of encouragement (Luke 15:11-32). This is not easy; there is a thin line between abandoning (causing real damage by not helping) and indulging (causing more damage by helping). Ask for the Lord to give you strength and discernment concerning this. Pray specifically for wisdom to know when and how to help or not help.
Be confident in God’s promises. If your child is an elect of God, God will preserve your child till the end; he/she can neither totally nor finally fall away from the state of grace (Philippians 1:6, John 10:28,39, Romans 8:28-30). Your child may, through the temptations of Satan and of the world fall into grievous sins; and, for a time, continue in them (2 Samuel 12:9, 13, Galatians 2:11-14). He/she can incur in God’s displeasure (2 Samuel 11:27), and grief the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30), have his/her heart hardened (Isaiah 63:17), and his/her conscience wounded, hurt and scandalize others, and bring temporal judgments from God upon himself. However, God will bring his elect back, and they will persevere till the end.
Be assured that God will be glorified. God’s own glory is something really important for Himself, therefore be assured that He will be glorified through the life of your children. It is a reason to encourage you to trust in the Lord and to praise Him throughout your life. The Bible tells that God predestined some for salvation (election) and some for damnation (reprobation), but He is glorified in the lives of all men – whether he is one of the elect or not (Romans 9:10- 23). God’s glory is the chief end of the life of a Christian and should be a motive of contentment, encouragement, assurance, and peace.

Following these tips will not guarantee your children’s coming back, but it will help you to glorify the Lord even amidst this challenging time of your life. My prayer is that God gives grace, peace, and strength to the parents that are facing a situation like this and are reading this text.
Filipe Fernandes Cortial is student at Greenville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, a member of Grace Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Fair Lawn, NJ, and currently under care of the Presbytery of New Jersey (OPC).
 

The Democratic Party has been pushing Planned Parenthood, abortion, and birth control. Big-name philanthropists are putting their money behind birth control efforts. Liberals have been pushing birth control and abortion for decades. While pro-abortion liberals are pushing the abortion and contraception wagon, Christian conservatives with their large families could dominate the culture in a generation or two if they believe and act in terms of “In God We Trust.”

You may have seen Megan Raponoe at the 2021 Met Gala celebrating “In America: A Lexicon Of Fashion” at the Metropolitan Museum of Art dressed in a red, white, and blue star-spangled suit. I take that back. You most likely did not see her. Just so you know, she was carrying a clutch purse that said: “In Gay We Trust” on the side. The blasphemous phrase is not unique to her, but it is indicative of the anti-Christian LGBTQ+ movement. Christians who support this lifestyle are equally blasphemous.
“In Gay We Trust” is a self-maledictory oath, a self-curse. A malediction is to speak (diction) a curse (mal = bad), and that’s what the LGBTQers are doing. They are cutting off their future. Some, like the former Ellen Page and now Elliot Page, are literally doing it.
The entire LGBTQ+ sexual/non-sexual alphabet soup worldview is a self-malediction. This is why the Alphabet People must recruit because they cannot reproduce if they are consistent with their homosexual and transgender principles.

Family 101: Getting Our House in Order

Family 101 is a much-needed course designed to help Christians understand covenant life. The student will learn not only about the family, but about the important role of education—both our own and that of our children. The videos, audios, and printed works found in Family 101 will provide the encouragement and the education necessary to live faithfully to both God and neighbor.

The religious leaders in Israel who worked overtime to have Jesus murdered pronounced a self-maledictory oath on themselves that had far-reaching implications for the nation.
When Pilate saw that he was accomplishing nothing, but rather that a riot was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this Man’s blood; see to that yourselves.” And all the people said, “His blood shall be on us and on our children!” (Matt. 27:24–25).
And within a generation, the judgment came on them and their children. A Jewish woman named Mary ate part “of her child, whom she had killed and roasted. When the Romans besieged Jerusalem in AD 70, leading to a terrible famine, hunger had supposedly led to acts of desperation.” Jesus had warned about the possibility (Mt. 24:19). Even so, God was gracious by offering a way of escape (Matt. 24:15–20; Luke 21:20–24)
A report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said the birth rate in America hit an all-time low in 2011. “The 2011 preliminary number of U.S. births was 3,953,593, 1 percent less (or 45,793 fewer) births than in 2010; the general fertility rate (63.3 per 1,000 women age 15–44 years) declined to the lowest rate ever reported for the United States,” the report stated.
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Written by Derek W.H. Thomas |
Monday, September 16, 2024
God is not the author of sin. God ordains free agency. God allows for the attribution of events to more than one cause, though ultimately it is His own will. “But I don’t understand,” you may protest. You are in good company. Even John Calvin admitted as much. In his commentary on Romans, written early in his ministry when he had been evicted from Geneva, he wrote that “the predestination of God is indeed a labyrinth from which the mind of man can by no means extricate itself.” Care is needed when thinking about God’s sovereignty.

Things happen because God orders them to happen, orders them to happen before they happen, and orders them to happen in the way that they happen. This is a statement of God’s complete sovereignty.
Take Job, for example. In response to one of life’s unimaginable tragedies, losing all ten of his children in one day, Job exclaimed: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). And when Satan inflicted Job with a disease, Job’s response to his wife is sublime: “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” (2:10).
It may appear absurd to some that Job expressed no anger at the loss of his children or the disease that brought him to within an inch of his life: “My bones stick to my skin and to my flesh, and I have escaped by the skin of my teeth” (19:20). How could he be so seemingly composed? The Apostle James points out Job’s “steadfastness” under trial (James 5:11). Though Job would lose his composure as the trial evolved, his faith in God’s complete sovereignty kept him calm and resolute, initially at least. Job lived his life under the dome of God’s complete control of all events. He believed in a world where God’s sovereignty was total. Events occur “according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will” (Eph. 1:11). Or, to quote Paul again: “For those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
What does it mean to live under the dome of Ephesians 1:11 or Romans 8:28? It means peace and security even during hard times. The possibility of assurance that we have “an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for [us]” (1 Peter 1:4). This view of total divine causality, one that is perfectly compatible with human responsibility and action, brings about a “peace . . . that surpasses all understanding” and guards both our hearts and minds amid all kinds of trials (Phil. 4:7).
Outside this dome, there is uncertainty and confusion. Nothing is sure. We can be driving along the interstate highway and read a sign that says, “God is not in control between exit 48 and exit 53.” What would you do? God’s sovereignty does not guarantee that we will never make sinful choices or never be the victim of what appears to be a random act. We live in a world where there exists true creaturely agency. We make choices all day long: what clothes we wear, what food we order from a menu, when to go to bed, and when to rise from it. But all these are decisions made under the umbrella of God’s fatherly disposition and upholding of all events and actions. That is what Ephesians 1:11 and Romans 8:28 insist on.
This is the worldview that Joseph lived by. When his brothers sold him into a life of slavery and false imprisonment in Egypt, he told them: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Gen. 50:20). There was human agency involved in the deliberate choices of his brothers. But there was also divine superintendence ensuring a definite outcome—“to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” God’s sovereign hand ensured that when famine struck the land of the patriarchs, there would be a welcoming embrace of this covenant family in Egypt, thereby ensuring the continuation of God’s redemptive purposes.
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