The Most Radical Thing I Do
I go to church to remind myself that I am sacrificially loved, therefore I can love (Philippians 2:1–18); to reject the bleakness of this world: ‘I consume, therefore, I am consumed’ (Colossians 3:1–10). I go to church because God enjoys it and I enjoy his joy in his people (Ephesians 1:3–10). I go to church because it is the unanticipated centre of what God is doing in our crazy, battered and beautiful world (Ephesians 1:15–22; Revelation 21:1–4).
I go to church.
To get there I pass through the shopping centre on its busiest morning of the week. The sports fields are crowded with players and spectators,the park run friends in their shorts and tees mingle with the lycra-clad cyclists, crowding the cafés. If you know where to look, you can sometimes catch glimpses of the yoga and meditation session in the community room. As I pull out into the dense traffic the world is full of people running errands, visiting open-air markets, piling into Bunnings, travelling to and from visiting family and friends.
Meanwhile, I go to church. Why?
After all, group exercise is good and necessary for physical, social and mental health; meditation can adjust our mood and re-centre our thoughts to a calmer mode; grocery shopping and the unending list of domestic projects need to be tackled sometime in our crowded week; friendships and family commitments are hard to maintain in our separated lives. These things can be good, even necessary. But still I go to church, for a short time of inefficiency, irrelevance and rebellion against our curated, self-improving, iLives.
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Saving Your Child From The Village
This is what totalitarianism means: the infiltration of politics (cultural and otherwise) into every aspect of life. In Huxley’s Brave New World, the Savage was the only sane person there because as an exile, he had been raised ignorant of the corrupt totalitarian culture and its values. I heard the other day about a family — a conservative Christian family — that has been devastated by gender ideology wreaking havoc in the lives of their children. It sneaked up on them. Catastrophe. I mean, honest-to-God destruction of young people’s bodies and souls, and of family relationships.
A reader comments on the “Gender Identity And Your Kids” thread:
There’s a certain kind of conservative who looks at this trend [the corruption of fandom by gender ideology obsessives — RD] and says, “Good riddance. Unplug it all. Now your lazy nerd kids can spend all day at the gym lifting weights, or learn to play a musical instrument, and won’t be wasting time on the fandom of some media-marketed TV show or book series.”
I totally understand this impulse as a utopian ideal, but I also think there’s a horrible lack of appreciation for how difficult it is to raise kids in a world where they are uncomfortable with participating (or forbidden to participate) in popular franchise fan culture. My children are homeschooled and constantly desperate for more peer interaction. When they meet other kids at the park, or the roller skating rink, or on vacation, they are bombarded with aspects of pop culture from which they are being excluded — and they know it. Last month my brother passed along a collection of books and comics that my nephew was reading, and within a few weeks my 9-year-old came to us to confess that one of the books had “the f-word” in it. It ended up featuring a protagonist who was a pre-op transgender boy. At at this point I’m not even sure if her uncle gave it to her out of ignorance, or if he knew but did it anyway as a way to subvert our overly protective parenting style. I don’t have the heart to start a confrontation over it, given the cultural and ideological stress I have with my siblings already. Do you have any idea how wretched I feel that I can no longer trust my own brother as a screen for children’s literature content?
Right now my girls are super-enthusiastic about a book series… and I know they are just a few books away from the one that introduces a lesbian character. We started watching a TV show… and I already know which season has the gay wedding. Every new property (whether it’s original or the rebooting of a Gen X classic) is simply obligated to pay out a wokeness tax now. I’ll let my children watch this stuff with my supervision sometimes, when we can talk about it along the way. But I can’t let them enjoy unsupervised spaces with peers, certainly not in virtual spaces, since those peers are not going to exercise similar discretion. I essentially have to ban my kids from having friends unless those friends are very carefully vetted and supervised, and now I feel trapped in a helicopter-parenting Defcon-alert holding pattern.
It’s hard to exaggerate how besieged the current culture makes me feel as a parent of two daughters leaving elementary school age. I have unceasing dread of a giant industry devoted to prying my children away from my world, my culture, and my values, and to convince them that I’m the sociological equivalent of the stock villains being defeated weekly in their prepackaged media products. I want to give my children the freedom to explore and discover friends without oppressive surveillance, but all of the friends they meet want to create secretive phone-driven modes of contact with them for private conversations. Am I doomed to become a CIA operative, using spyware to catch my preteen daughter having illicit chats about testosterone and top surgery? Will I be the stereotypical killjoy parent, demanding that my girls stop seeing any friends I regard as “a bad influence”? I’m staring into an abyss that has swallowed so much of my world and the things in it that I once loved already, and has designs on my girls as well.
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“Pride” Month is not License to Resort to Name-Calling the Faithful
It’s telling that the Associated Press chose not to show respect for religious values when it comes to sexual morality. For AP, June Pride Month licenses its writers to insult religious people for their ancient and current beliefs. This is a form of intolerance veering into hatred, especially anti-Jewish hatred, that deserves to be called out and shamed every time it occurs.
As I read the paper the other morning, I found an article titled, “Pride parade held amid tensions.” It was an Associated Press article and related to a Pride parade in Jerusalem. In the very first paragraph, it engaged in open insults against religious conservatives in the Israeli government.
Israel is always interesting to me due to reading the Torah (or, as Christians say, the Old Testament) beginning when I was a child. Therefore, I pay a certain amount of attention to news related to that nation. I also have had the privilege of visiting the Holy Land and places important to both Jews and Christians.
The article’s first paragraph read:
JERUSALEM (AP) — Thousands of people on Thursday marched in Jerusalem’s Pride parade — an annual event that took place for the first time under Israel’s new far-right government, which is stacked with openly homophobic members.
I was shocked to read those words: “. . . which is stacked with openly homophobic members.” How do they know they’re “homophobic” and not simply religious Jews and people?
Shame on the Associated Press for resorting to name-calling, e.g., “homophobic members.” Would they call people who are religious and disapprove of adultery, “adulteryphobic?” Or would they call those who oppose pedophilia “pedophobic?” There are other sexual acts or relations that could also be named that are mutually considered sinful and forbidden by Islam, Orthodox Judaism, and Christianity.
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When You are Grieving or Know Someone Who is – You Never Know the Level of Your Thoughtfulness or Impact
Text Messages and Personal Notes. Within a few hours of our day beginning, we started receiving text messages of care and concern from those who love us. Nothing major. One such text, “We are thinking about you all today and sweet Kayla! We love you both and your precious family.” Another, “Praying for you and the family today as you reflect on your sweet girl and look forward to seeing her in heaven. Love you so much and sending big hugs to you.” One more example, “Just prayed for you two for today and wanted you to know. Will continue to pray throughout the day. I love you so much.” These are three examples of many. People reaching out.
This past Tuesday, we passed the dreaded date on the calendar of our daughter’s death back in 1999. Twenty-four years later, we have our memories, a date on the calendar of her birth and death, a grave at the cemetery, and, thankfully, hope in the resurrection. Plus, we have friends who share in our loss, friends who make the burden and memory of the day easier. As you walk with those who are suffering or have gone through grieving, you never know the level of your thoughtfulness or impact on them. In fact, unless you have been through deep suffering yourself, you may not have any idea. However, do not let that keep you from doing something.
How We Were Blessed This Year
Our family was blessed in a variety of ways this year on the anniversary of our daughter’s death. Let me list a few to possibly help you think through your own response to a grieving person. Further, if you are the grieving person, I want to help you as well.
To be honest, after twenty-four years, you do not really expect people to remember. In fact, if no one remembered the specific day or mentioned it, it would be no fault of their own. As parents, it is important to us because she is our daughter. It is our story, our life, and our journey. My children have another sister they never see this side of eternity; we have a daughter no one sees as well. Yet, she lives. Therefore, what we have of her is extremely important, including the two days on a calendar of the day of her birth and the day of her death.
On the other hand, we could never expect others to remember it. Life moves on. Every person lives a full life with their own stories, own dates, and own struggles. For us to take it personally if someone forgets would be tragic for us. We would increase our own pain without a legitimate cause.
Yet, we have been blessed again this year – in the twenty-fourth year of our daughter.Text Messages and Personal Notes. Within a few hours of our day beginning, we started receiving text messages of care and concern from those who love us. Nothing major. One such text, “We are thinking about you all today and sweet Kayla! We love you both and your precious family.” Another, “Praying for you and the family today as you reflect on your sweet girl and look forward to seeing her in heaven. Love you so much and sending big hugs to you.” One more example, “Just prayed for you two for today and wanted you to know. Will continue to pray throughout the day. I love you so much.”
These are three examples of many. People reaching out.
You might say to yourself, “But what if they’re not thinking about it today?” “Will I make their day sad?” To be honest, No. Even if in a moment the individual you reach out to is not thinking about their loss, that person will be encouraged by your thoughtfulness.Delivered Flowers. As you can see in the picture above, someone sent us a beautiful arrangement of flowers. Who, you may be wondering, would do that? We do not know. For years, someone has loved us enough to send a flower arrangement to us on our daughter’s annual day of loss.
We are so blessed by the gesture of love. Again, as I mentioned above, no one has to do this, nor is it expected. This act of kindness is an expression of personal sacrifice and love. Think about it. Someone has to preplan what he or she will do, has to pay for it, and then execute the plan. All of these things take time, resources, and commitment.
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