http://rss.desiringgod.org/link/10732/15806321/the-sweetness-of-a-godward-meal
My son, eat honey, for it is good,
and the drippings of the honeycomb are sweet to your taste.
Know that wisdom is such to your soul. (Proverbs 24:13–14)
“Hey, son. Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, Dad. What’s up?”
“Thanksgiving dinner is almost ready, but before we eat, I have some Thanksgiving Day advice for you.”
“Okay.”
“It’s pretty straightforward, but it might require a little explanation.”
“What is it?”
“Today, I want you to eat honey.”
“Honey? Why?”
“Well, because it’s good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah, you know what good means, right?”
“Of course I do.”
“Tell me.”
“Good means that you like something.”
“Okay. What does that mean?”
“Um, that it tastes good?”
“So honey is good because it tastes good?”
“Yeah, because it tastes sweet.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere. So you’re saying that honey is good because it’s sweet to your taste?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever thought about how taste works? Like, what does it mean for honey to be sweet to your taste?”
“Not really.”
“Let’s start with honey. What is it?”
“Something that bees make in their hives.”
“Do you know how they make it?”
“Not really.”
“Okay, let’s start with flowers. Have you ever heard of Green Magick?”
“No.”
“That’s what a friend of mine calls photosynthesis and all of the amazing processes that go into making a plant grow. Plants take water and nutrients from the soil, carbon dioxide from the air, and light from the sun and mix and mingle it all together to produce stalks, leaves, and, of course, flowers. Do you know why plants have flowers?”
“In science class, Mrs. Johnson said that that’s how plants reproduce.”
“That’s right. Flowers reproduce through pollen. That’s the fuzzy stuff on the flower. The challenge is to get the pollen from one flower to another so that they can reproduce seeds to grow into new plants. Do you know how they do that?”
“Bees?”
“Exactly. Bees come to one flower. Pollen sticks to their hair. Then they go to another flower, and drop the pollen where it can fertilize it to produce seeds that produce more plants. Do you know why the bees come to the flower?”
“Because of the colors?”
“Partly. The colorful petals of the flower do grab their attention. But the petals are promising something that the bees want: nectar. That’s the sweet sticky stuff in the center of the flowers. Nectar is the bee’s reward for pollinating the flowers.”
“That’s pretty cool.”
“I know. Let me ask you another question. Do you know what the word glorify means?”
“Sort of. But I don’t know how to say it.”
“When we’re talking about created things, one meaning of the word glorify is to take something good and to make it even better. So nectar is glorified water. It’s water that’s been transformed by Green Magick into something even more glorious. Does that make sense?”
“Yes.”
“So the bees eat the nectar, and it goes into their second stomach, called the honey sac. Once they’re full, they go back to the hive and share the nectar with other bees. All of the sharing and digesting starts to transform the nectar into something else.”
“That sounds kinda weird.”
“It’s actually amazing. Eventually, after partially digesting and sharing, the bees deposit the nectar into this wax that they make. Then they beat their wings really fast, which causes some of the moisture in the nectar to evaporate, which completes the transformation into honey. In other words, honey is glorified nectar.”
“And nectar is glorified water.”
“Now you’re getting it. So the move from water to nectar to honey is a move from glory to more glory to even more glory.”
“That’s cool.”
“It is. So now we’re back to my advice. Do you remember what it was?”
“You told me to eat honey because it’s good.”
“And why is it good?”
“Because it’s sweet to our taste.”
“So let’s think a little more about sweetness. Sweetness has to do with the connection between honey and your tongue. So what do you know about your tongue?”
“It’s in my mouth, and it has taste buds.”
“And what do you know about taste buds?”
“Not much.”
“Taste buds are tiny sensory receptors on your tongue that detect different tastes. Do you know the five main tastes?”
“Um, sweet, salty, sour, and . . . I don’t know the others.”
“Bitter (like kale) and savory (like bacon). So your tongue has taste buds, and when different foods hit them, we detect sweet, sour, salty, bitter, or savory (or some combination). So when we put honey on our tongues, we say it’s sweet to our taste. And because it’s sweet to our taste, we say . . .”
“That it’s good.”
“Exactly. Now, do you remember how the water went through an amazing process in the plant in order to become nectar? And how the nectar went through a weird process in the bees and the beehive in order to become honey?”
“Yes.”
“And what did I call that process?”
“Glorification.”
“Well, the honey needs to go through a similar process in you in order to be glorified.”
“You’re not going to make me spit up the honey and share it with people, are you?”
“Ha! No, this process is a little different. Think about this. Is water alive?
“No.”
“And so in order to be glorified, it needed something greater than itself. It needed something alive — the plant. Right?”
“Right.”
“And why did the plant need the bees?”
“Because they can’t move and pollinate in order to reproduce.”
“Exactly. They needed something greater as well — a mobile creature. Well, really, a lot of mobile creatures, a hive of bees. And how did they attract those mobile creatures?”
“With the petals and the nectar.”
“And why did the bees want the nectar?”
“To eat it.”
“And why did they want to eat it?”
“Because it’s good and sweet to their taste?”
“Very good. So in that way the bees are kind of like us, right?”
“Yes.”
“So we’ve moved from water (which isn’t living) through flowers (which live and grow, but don’t move) through bees (which live, grow, move, and taste). And now we come to us. What makes us different from bees (and other animals)?”
“I don’t know.”
“Think about it.”
“I don’t know.”
“No really, think about it.”
“Oh, right. We can think.”
“Exactly. So in order to glorify honey again, we’re going to think. We’re going to use our minds. And that brings me to my second piece of Thanksgiving advice. To do it, I need you to remember the first piece of advice. Do you?”
“Eat honey, because it’s good and sweet to my taste.”
“Great. Now, here’s the second: know that wisdom is such to your soul. Got that?”
“Not really.”
“Since it’s almost time to eat, I’ll give you a little help. The Bible says that ‘the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.’ So wisdom is a way of life that flows from the fear of the Lord. Does that make sense?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, then, let’s consider the word such. That’s a comparison word. It means like this. So we can restate the sentence as ‘know that wisdom is like this to your soul.’ Does that make sense?”
“Sure.”
“So what is wisdom like in that sentence? What does this refer to?”
“Honey?”
“Honey is part of it. But not just honey. What else?”
“The goodness of honey?”
“Yes. And why is honey good?”
“Because it’s sweet to my taste.”
“So if such means like this, and this refers to honey’s goodness and sweetness, what does the whole sentence mean?”
“It means that, just as honey is sweet to my taste, so wisdom — the way of life flowing from the fear of the Lord — is sweet to my soul.”
“You’ve got it. And how does sweetness (and other flavors) work?”
“When honey hits our taste buds, we call that experience sweet.”
“And so in order to taste honey’s sweetness, you must have . . .”
“Taste buds.”
“Which means your soul also must have . . .”
“Taste buds?”
“Exactly. Your soul has taste buds, just like your tongue does. But your soul doesn’t taste honey. Instead, it tastes wisdom. As honey is sweet to your taste, so wisdom is sweet to your soul. One is physically sweet. The other is spiritually sweet.”
“I think I’m starting to get it.”
“Well, that’s good news. Because if you’re starting to really get it — not just in your mind, but in your heart — then honey is going from one degree of glory to another.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Nectar is glorified water, transformed through the Green Magick in the flowers. Honey is glorified nectar, transformed through the bees that taste it, digest it, share it, and store it in honeycomb.”
“I still think it’s weird that we eat bee vomit, by the way.”
“And now the sweetness of honey is glorified, taken from glory to glory when you — a human being with a soul that thinks and wills, knows and loves — eats honey, because it’s good, and then connects the bodily experience of honey’s sweetness to the spiritual way of life that flows from fearing the Lord.”
“Wow.”
“Bees may be able to eat honey because it’s good. But they can’t ‘know that wisdom is such to the soul.’ But you can. You can eat honey — the glorified nectar that bees make from the glorified water that flowers make — because it’s good. And then, you can know with your mind and you can heed with your will your dad’s advice. You can connect the sweetness of honey to the life of wisdom. More than that, you can chase them both back to the source.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you remember Psalm 34? ‘Taste and see that the Lord is good.’”
“So he’s like the honey too?”
“He’s better. He designed all of this to show forth his wisdom and glory, and to invite us further up and further in. The water, the flowers, the pollinating, the nectar, the bees, the hive, the honey, the tongue, the soul, the life of wisdom — all of these are from him and through him and to him. To him be the glory forever and ever. And now, I’m hungry. Let’s go eat some honey.”
“Me too. But we’ve got one problem, Dad.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t think we’re having honey for Thanksgiving.”
“That’s okay. Pumpkin crunch cake will have to do.”
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How to Use Your Voice: Basics for Improving Our Speech
“Use your words,” the voice said.
My scrawny nine-year-old arms were firmly wrapped in a headlock around my archnemesis classmate, Chris. We had been arguing about whose dad was better at bowling. Obviously, we had lost our ability to talk it out.
“Use your words!” I heard the voice again, this time louder. And again, very firmly, “Use your words!”
Just then, I felt my mother’s firm hand grabbing hold of my collar. She turned me around like a bridled pony. I released Chris to his own fate; now I faced my own.
“Listen to me, Joel Weldon!” she punctuated. “If you don’t learn to use your words, you’ll be struggling like this your whole life!”
God used that moment to motivate me. And now, after years of training and research, I’ve enjoyed a long path in communication, first as a touring singer-songwriter, then as a voice actor and speaking coach. I have found that the path to improved speech is available to each of us. It didn’t come naturally to me. I struggled and needed to work hard. But once I realized the power God gives through voices (including yours), I was hooked forever.
How to Use Your Voice
Take a moment and consider your voice. Do you “use your words” effectively? Do people in your professional and personal circles listen well when you speak, or are they easily distracted and disengaged? In front of a crowd or your church, are you able to connect and communicate? Do you see people scrolling smartphones as you work through your outline? It’s a common problem these days.
Have you overlooked your marvelous gift: your voice? Many have. It is one of the most undervalued and misunderstood instruments God has given. “Death and life,” Scripture teaches, “are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Proverbs 18:21). But some Christians do not speak more often of the Life they know because they do not like the sound of their voice. The majority perhaps feel stuck and insecure.
Even in biblical times, many doubted their voices. Even a prophet as great as Moses was “slow of speech,” and he knew it well (Exodus 4:10). His inability plundered his confidence such that he even argued with God over it, giving five reasons he was a terrible speaker and couldn’t return to Egypt. God answered his fears by graciously providing Aaron as his official mouthpiece.
But what about us today? Believe it or not, with a few simple tweaks, you can start to improve your voice, and access its God-given potential. But how? Whether I am coaching a fresh class of voice actors or a ministry staff at a church workshop, I like to start with three basic concepts for effective speaking.
1. Be aware of your headspace.
Your emotional state of mind and your attitude are discernible in your vocal delivery. It’s not enough to just fake it till you make it. If you force a broad smile while internally you’re upset over a recent argument, you will come across like a salesman pitching his newest cure-all potion. This holds true for everyday conversations all the way to standing on the largest stages. The audience doesn’t just analyze your words; they feel and respond. They may not even sense something amiss, but your message will not have the effect you intend if you don’t have the matching attitude underneath.
Knowing how to control and gift-wrap your speaking with appropriate attitude is like a superpower for your ideas. If you’re in any kind of ministry, the attitude you draw upon is founded in the mind of Christ, love for hearers, and a desire to glorify God. You consider your high task: “whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God” (1 Peter 4:11).
Here’s a simple tip that I’ve used with countless students and clients. To give your mind and heart a reset prior to any conversation or talk, do a heart check. Is love for your listener (whether in personal conversation or speaking before many) a higher priority than what’s been distracting you? Is your desire for your audience that they truly hear and receive your words fully and powerfully? Then envision this simple formula: the word MISSION in all caps with the word me in lowercase set just underneath.
Write it on a note at your desk, in your notebook, in your Bible, on your iPad. It’s a simple perspective corrector. Yes, me is a part of the formula, but your MISSION is way more important than what others think of you, how effective your speaking is, or even your reputation. When your heart and mind are set on delivering your words for the good of others and the glory of God, rather than personal accolades, you’re reflecting the mind of Christ. And even if you stammer and fumble through much of your speech or sermon, your audience will still be moved by your very transparency, love, and care for them.
2. Stretch your voice.
From the time we’re cooing with our mother in the nursery and exchanging smiles and giggles, we are mirroring the world of speech and sound around us. We mimic; we copy; we try things we hear. That’s where regional accents and dialects come from. We’ve learned how to speak through immersive living and learning.
But something happens to many of us when we enter the world as adults. We throw our graduation caps in the air and enter adulting with the voices we’ve cultivated since birth. And then maybe we take a personality test that tells us who we are, replete with common personality traits and likes and dislikes. And we suddenly stop learning. We stop challenging ourselves in our areas of weakness. We allow someone else to define who we are and place a wall around our potential. Your voice is no exception. It needs some coaxing and training, but it can express and accomplish far more than most people realize.
Never stop learning how to maximize it. Consider the main sound elements of every voice that together make it interesting, even irresistible: pitch, pace, and projection.
PITCH
Remember the scene near the end of the movie Elf where Will Ferrell is reading his book to the kids in the library? “Past the sea of swirly gumdrops, and through the Lincoln Tunnel!” He animates his voice to give the story the big effects and exaggeration that children respond to so well. If you have kids, or you once were a kid, you know what I mean.
For some strange reason, we grow up and believe we need to lose the kid’s tone. But really, instead of discarding it, we need to adapt the same voice variety and character to mature material. Of course, the overexaggeration will be tamed a bit, but the voice should stay interesting to the listener. And pitch variety, or inflection, in your tone is a proven attention keeper.
Practice by reading aloud any material, pretending you’re reading it for children in a kindergarten class. Move your voice pitch up and down. Practice getting excited and letting your voice rise dramatically in pitch. The key is to feel free to play. Make it part of your alone time — while driving, walking, studying. Make recordings on your voice-memo app. You’ll begin to feel more freedom adding inflection to your daily speech.
PACE
How fast or slow do you typically speak? We each have a typical talking speed — fast or slow, choppy or smooth. Record yourself having a conversation with a friend or coworker (with permission). Listen back. It’s alright to feel awkward listening and evaluating yourself. It’s part of the understanding process. Start listening to other voices you like. At what pace do they talk? Why do you like them? Begin to notice how other voices make you feel and why.
Start adding silent space to your speaking as well. Most of us don’t take advantage of a good pregnant pause unless we practice it. So practice it.
PROJECTION
Projection, or volume, is a critical element in your sound. Some voices average a medium volume and don’t deviate enough from it. Much of your default voice tone is shaped by the family you grew up in. From the over-the-top energy of Italians and Ethiopians to the stoic, steady tones of Scandinavians and Canadians, your upbringing has affected you.
Part of learning fuller expression means breaking out of the comfort zone you’ve always known. It’s okay to go bigger sometimes, especially on something exciting or urgent. Then try taking it way down to almost a whisper, as if you’re speaking to just one person face-to-face.
If you’re using a microphone, use it to your advantage. Pull it close when speaking softly. Let the mic do the work. Then try getting bigger and more authoritative and back off the mic a bit. We are built to respond to dynamic speaking, and it is fitting that messengers of the gospel work at developing our voices to match the message.
3. Know your listeners.
This brings us to the third and final (yet perhaps most important) principle for effective voice expression.
In Colossians 4:6, Paul says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” We have a responsibility to know our listeners and learn how to “season” our speech in a wise and compelling way so they will best hear us.
In the modern advertising world, the voices representing brands are cast and directed to sound authentic. Thus, there’s a common phrase on almost every voice script that comes my way: no announcers. In the new media market, the target audience is supposedly enlightened to the wiles of the old “announcer voice,” the voice that sounds like a staged, inauthentic paid spokesperson for a brand.
So, the modern world is full of messaging by all kinds of authentic-sounding voices, including AI voices. A perfect example would be a warm, friendly middle-aged “mom” voice speaking to other moms about the best snacks for kids. That type of voice selection reaches the target market.
In similar fashion — but for a far higher purpose — you need to bring the appropriate delivery for the moment and the mission at hand. You wouldn’t use your Will Ferrell, kindergarten voice for a board-room presentation or a sermon. From the account in Acts 17, we might assume the apostle Paul was an expert at reading the room, knowing how to connect with his words and his voice. If you’re instructing, you’ll use a more authoritative tone. If you’re counseling one to one, you’ll likely want to use a softer, sympathetic voice (coming from a sympathetic heart).
Go and Speak
As carriers of the good news, we remember that the truth is worth sharing through the best possible means. Write about it. Live it. Advance it. With humility and courage, use the voice God gives you to declare his name. And start a new journey to make your sound versatile and effective for every encounter, whether you’re preaching or having a heart-to-heart talk with your kids. You’ll find that with the Lord’s help, you’ll never stop learning and adding to your ability to speak.
As a final encouragement, practice. Out loud. Have fun doing it. Find physical spaces where you’re free to go big. And move the rest of your body to match your voice too. And when your spouse interrupts your practice time and asks, “What in the world are you doing?” you can simply say, “I’m using my words.”
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God Makes People the Means of Persevering Faith: 1 Thessalonians 5:12–22, Part 5
http://rss.desiringgod.org/link/10732/15775706/god-makes-people-the-means-of-persevering-faith
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Your Husband Will Be Perfect: How to Love a Flawed Man
Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead,and Christ will shine on you. (Ephesians 5:14)
With this poem, Paul grounds the often-quoted marriage instructions of Ephesians 5:22–33 in the transformative power of the gospel. The gospel rouses sleepers and quickens the dead. It calls those trapped in darkness into the shining light of Christ, where, for the first time, they can truly see and do what is good.
If the gospel can accomplish these feats, it can surely transform ordinary men into husbands who love their wives as Christ loved the church, and it can surely transform ordinary women into wives who respect and submit to their husbands’ leadership. But this transformation is not automatic, and it does not happen overnight. That’s why Paul offers this apostolic marriage advice: stay in the light (Ephesians 5:8–9).
While his advice applies to husbands and wives alike, this article addresses wives. Wives who want to see their marriages transformed must stay in the light, where Christ himself shines on them, revealing truths and exposing lies that shape their expectations for marriage. In particular, light-seeking wives embrace two foundational truths and reject two persistent lies about their marriages.
Truth #1: He is still a sinner.
The first expectation-shaping truth about marriage is that even though your husband is awake, alive, and in the light, he is still a sinner. And as a sinner, he will struggle in many ways common to humanity, some of which Paul warns us about in the rest of his letter to the Ephesians.
“God sees your husband’s faults more clearly than you do. His is the superior wisdom.”
At times, your husband may be proud, harsh, or impatient (Ephesians 4:2). His unique cocktail of deceitful desires will afflict him (Ephesians 4:22). He will stumble by not actively guarding his mind (Ephesians 4:25–32; 5:18). He may be tempted toward dishonesty, theft, laziness, destructive speech, resentment, selfishness, sexual immorality of various stripes, jealousies, greed, or substance abuse. In a word, he will falter in his charge to love you self-sacrificially.
As a native Texan, my mother-in-law strictly follows this rule: turn on the light during middle-of-the-night trips to the bathroom. Failing to do so might mean a surprise encounter with a cockroach (at least in Texas).
When Christ shines on a marriage, his light exposes sins so that we can see them for the stealthy, invasive, dirty, creepy, darkness-loving, Texas-sized cockroaches that they are. The light protects us from surprise over our husband’s failures because our expectations are built on this foundational truth: he is still a sinner.
Truth #2: He is growing.
The light also trains us to shape our expectations around a second foundational truth: although your husband is still a sinner, he is growing. In the light, his sin is visible. And once seen, the way forward is clear.
In the case of a cockroach, a heavy-soled shoe is the clearest way forward, but sin requires a different kind of death — one of confession and turning and walking away, further and further from sleep’s darkness and the grave, and further into the light of Christ. The way forward may not be easy, but it is brightly lit.
If your husband is awake and alive, then Christ shines on him! He will increasingly see his sin, and he will know what to do about it. Equipped with more than a thick-soled shoe, he has everything he needs to crush the sins exposed by the light. (Ephesians 6:10–18 gives a full inventory of all the offensive and defensive weapons in his arsenal.)
These two foundational truths — your husband is a sinner, but he is growing — should shape your expectations about marriage, tempering your idealism with reality and your pessimism with hope.
Lie #1: ‘I’m more righteous than he is.’
Besides revealing two foundational truths for marriage, the light of Christ exposes two persistent lies in marriage. The first is the lie of superior righteousness. All of us indulge in pride from time to time, supposing ourselves better than our husbands. But if we stay in the light, we cannot escape the equalizing effect of the cross.
The light reminds us that we need the sin-cleansing blood of Jesus every bit as much as our husbands. Alongside them, we too must grow in detecting and killing sin. We must stand on guard against the temptations that hide behind our husband’s failures. Too often, we respond to their sin with sin of our own because the lie of superior righteousness tempts us to excuse our sin when it is provoked by theirs.
On this matter, Paul is far from silent: “Be angry and do not sin . . . and give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26–27). Sin hurts. Anger is a natural response to pain. But the light helps us see beyond those moments of hurt and anger to the true enemy lurking behind them. Our husbands are not the enemy, but behind their failures, the devil strains to reassert his dominance over our lives. He would use our anger against us, seducing us to react in sinful ways — perhaps by lashing out with hateful words, by giving quarter to arrogance or self-righteousness, by plotting revenge, by cynically despairing, or by withholding forgiveness.
But these reactions are from the shadows, lining the path back to the grave. The way of light and life is to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). We should expect to find sin crouching at the door of our marital disappointments, so we proactively guard our hearts against the snare of anger by continually confessing our own sins and by cultivating a heart of forgiveness toward our husbands.
Then, when they confess their sins, we can eagerly, though not painlessly, extend all the mercy and grace to them that God has freely given us. In this way, we defend ourselves against the lie of superior righteousness that stalks us from the shadows of our husband’s failures.
Lie #2: ‘I know what’s best for him.’
Be wary also of a second persistent lie lurking in the shadows: the lie of superior wisdom. Doubtless, if you were God, you would choose a different path for your husband’s transformation than the one he is currently on. But the light of Christ breaks into our blind spots, challenging even our expectations about how our husbands should grow.
Perhaps you’d prioritize his inattentiveness or his [fill in the blank], but God sees your husband’s faults more clearly than you do. His is the superior wisdom. He exposes sin according to his curriculum and his calendar.
He may not transform your husband into the most attentive partner, but he might stir his heart to give more generously at church. Your husband may not notice a sink full of dirty dishes as much as you’d like, but he might begin to exercise more oversight when it comes to your children’s Internet access. He may continue struggling to remember what you’ve asked him to do, but over time he may grow in contentedness at work, faithfully laboring at an unsatisfying job to provide for your household.
“Stay in the light, where lies are exposed and faulty expectations transformed.”
In Christ, your husband is growing whether or not he is walking the precise path you’d prescribe. If you do not see growth in an area that is particularly grievous to you, invite Christ’s light to shine on your expectations so that you can truly see and wisely assess them. Is this trait that irks you truly sin, or could it simply be a dispositional weakness? Are you expecting your husband to do something God does not require? Stay in the light, where lies are exposed and faulty expectations transformed.
If unaddressed sin persists in your husband’s life, remember Paul’s divinely given counsel from another of his letters: rather than nagging, shaming, or despairing, “rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12). Before you go to your husband, go to God! Recognize that God, better than anyone, can see your husband’s sin, and in his superior wisdom knows precisely what to do with it. (Even so, recognize that some patterns of sin may require outside counsel or help, especially if the sin endangers you or others.)
Let There Be Light
Stay in the light, and it will transform your marriage. Reconfigure your expectations around the truth that your husband is a sinner, and the light will protect you from surprise or disillusionment over his failures. Shape your expectations around the truth that he is growing, and the light will fill you with hope as you increasingly see your husband the way God sees him — as a dearly loved son gradually being transformed into the likeness of Christ, the only perfect husband.
And “finally . . . put on the whole armor of God” (Ephesians 6:10–11), rejecting the lies of your own superior righteousness and wisdom. Then, hand in hand with your husband, grow up together into the image of your Savior.
