Peace is, first of all, a reconciled relationship with God through Christ, and second, a life lived in continual dependence on God in the power of the Spirit. In the spirit of Paul’s words to the Galatians, we can lead our people in living in an orbit of grace, freedom, and loving service: “You were called to freedom, brothers. … through love serve one another” (5:13).

Our world is full of strife yet desperate for peace. There are volatile international conflicts. There are student protests, political dissensions, and challenges in our churches and families. Is there any way out? “But the fruit of the Spirit is … peace” (Gal. 5:22).
Strife in Galatia
Slightly earlier in the Galatian letter, Paul exhorts, “But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit …” (5:15).
The apostle pens the entire letter in the context of strife and division. He starts out, “I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel” (1:6) and twice calls down a curse on his opponents (1:8, 9).
He even recounts a sharp conflict with Peter, whom he “opposed … to his face, because he stood condemned,” having briefly followed that other gospel (2:11).
Paul, for his part, asserts that he lives “by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” and does not “nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose” (2:20–21).
Any effort at self-justification—any human striving and moral living apart from the enabling grace of God and the power of the Spirit—will miserably fail. Such a misguided disposition can lead only to strife and division.
The fruit of the Spirit, on the other hand, is peace.
Peace Comes Only through the Gospel
As pastors, we have the privilege of extolling the radical and liberating message of the gospel. Without any contribution on our part, Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that God can justify us—declare us righteous—on the basis of what Jesus, the Son of God, did for us.
The answer to all global, local, and internal conflict lies only in the gospel.
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Spurgeon believed suffering could benefit believers in various ways, and he particularly reflected on the good a variety of evils could produce for pastors. In times of ease and prosperity, pastors might rely on themselves and not look to God’s promises, consider eternity, or lean on the strength that comes from the Spirit. Through suffering, pastors learn to live the truths they preach. Spurgeon asked, “Does a man know any gospel truth aright till he knows it by experience?”

Many pastors have longed for a taste of Charles Spurgeon’s preaching gifts and ministry success, but few have desired the pronounced suffering that accompanied them. Spurgeon’s published sermons show him a master of preaching to distressed souls, but he had to be distressed himself to do so. Sufferings were not coincidental or unfortunate in a pastor’s life; for Spurgeon, ministry and suffering were theologically connected, the pastoral package deal.
Spurgeon argued suffering is necessary for faithful ministry, because of the distinctive relationship pastors have with Christ—they were his conduits of God’s grace to others. In preaching the gospel of Christ’s sufferings, they would become like Christ in his sufferings. Suffering is also necessary for ministers because of its benefits: it makes pastors experience the truths they preach to their people, keeps them humble, and gives them the sympathy necessary for their labors.
All-Out Ministry
Spurgeon’s life was filled with a mix of sufferings that came upon him in his remarkable ministry. For example, he preached more than 10,000 times, sometimes preaching while so sick that he had to be carried from the pulpit. His popularity and growing church created never-ending duties, but he did not skirt or delegate what he believed were key pastoral responsibilities.
Spurgeon insisted ease in ministry is evidence of a false ministry, which will be hard to account for at the judgment seat of Christ: “The man who finds the ministry an easy life will also find that it will bring a hard death.” True ministers would have the marks of “stern labor” upon them; this was necessary, for how else were God’s people—sheep with many spiritual needs and diseases, who often rambled far and caused great trouble to their shepherds—to be adequately cared for? The pastor at ease was usually the one content to let a few sheep die!
Spurgeon’s comments on strain in ministry must be appreciated in light of his practice of rest and renewal.
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The hope is that our children will perceive these sex talks not as a “one-and-done,” circumstantial matter, but as gospel truths spoken in a love organically connected and matured as we, by the Spirit of God, live as those who adore Jesus Christ.

Over the years, I’ve talked with children who said they had the “sex talk.” Some have spoken of it as like a pep talk while others have told me what they think with a distasteful tone of disapproval. They say, “I know I should be more careful. But everyone in my school is doing it. So what?” “Why make it a big deal if you can always use protection?” “What’s wrong with me loving someone deeply enough to have sex?”
Though we might struggle to admit it, such forward-moving questions are loaded with power. The child’s inner confidence echoes a bravado that claims a greater knowledge than the wisdom that you—parent, teacher, or leader—yearn to provide.
In a world of TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram, our voices are dim. The destabilizing winds of our culture push and pull us and our children; we feel overwhelmed, without much to hold on to. Tired of arguments and restless with debates, we sigh—we love our children and care for their future that seems, at times, so uncertain. To a degree, we’ve all been defiant to our parents, teachers, and leaders. I remember standing as such a son to my parents when I would sarcastically tell them to “go to sleep” or “talk to the walls.” I believed they had nothing to offer my selfish self.
Furthermore, our society continues to march toward an increasingly relativistic moral structure, in which making absolute judgments on topics like sex is off-limits. We live in a world that’s more affirming than discerning, defiant instead of obedient, and hungry for self-praise rather than ready for self-sacrifice.
Nevertheless, as believers, we’re called to proclaim the gospel, fighting boldly against Christ-opposing lies. For Christ Jesus is the source of all truth. In him, we can live in this world without fear and model a Christ-centered life before our children.
Christ-Increasing
Just as raising a child requires continuous engagement in their lives, how we talk to them does, too. Rather than a one-and-done sex talk (which often has peculiar and questionable timing), we need an ongoing dialogue with our children that stems from our humble allegiance to our Father in heaven whereby we decrease, and he increases (John 3:30). A Christ-increasing relationship has his love as the core, giving meaning and direction to how we nurture our children. By God’s grace, may they realize—even by the tone of our voice—the importance of listening to us as they see Jesus through our lives.
Yes, a Christ-increasing life is vital. We don’t emphasize this enough! We become preoccupied with the means to an end and forget to acknowledge what truly matters in the care of our children: Jesus Christ. We should consider our relationship with Jesus and pay close attention to how we live as believers before considering how to engage in ongoing sex talks with our children. Are we wholly dependent on the gospel for such talks? Our children will be the first to see the work of the cross manifest in our lives—or not. Whether as parents, teachers, or leaders responsible for them, our life is an inevitable witness. Our time will pass away, but their memories of us and, most importantly, our standing before the Lord, will remain. Just as we were once the ones looking up to the adults in our lives, so will they do the same.
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