There can sometimes be a reflex in churches that insists every effort must be made to include everyone all of the time. Certainly, if everyone can make one time and nobody can make another, it makes sense to think about that and make decisions accordingly. But in the end, no church can do everything.

Whenever talk of something a church is doing comes up, it doesn’t take long before all the whataboutery starts. It’s great that we’re providing X, but what about Y? It’s great that X is on at this time, but what about all the people who can’t make that time? It’s great that you are reaching this group of people, but what about that group of people? It’s great that you provide for this need, but what about that need? On and on and on it goes.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it can often be good to think about different things you might do as a church. Is it possible to meet a particular need that you currently aren’t is a good thought process to go through. If we are trying to serve people in the church, might moving times allow a different demographic to join in? Are people being unnecessarily excluded or are we doing things because there is only one particular way the thing will work? Are we simply blind to certain needs and people and knowing about them might alter what we do? All these are valid questions to ask and think through. The problem is not in their being asked, nor in their being thought through, but in the stymying effect whatabouttery can have on actually doing anything at all.
Let me offer you two very freeing thoughts when it comes to the church, its activities and what it might care to do. First, no church can possibly do everything. Second, not everything is for everyone. Both are absolutely okay.
First, no church can possibly do everything. If we build our church around a felt-needs approach, we will inevitably miss out some people’s felt needs. It is impossible for any church to perfectly serve the felt needs of everyone in it all the time. There will inevitably be times when somebody feels they have particular needs that aren’t being met. More to the point, the church does not exist to meet every felt need under the sun. It exists to makes disciple-making disciples and to equip them for works of service by allowing the Lord to do his work by his Word and Spirit. Whatever people’s felt-needs might be, the church is primarily there to meet a specific need.
If the result of putting on a women’s group is an immediate call of but what about the men? or what about the youth? we are essentially saying, unless we can run all these things, we will run none of them. Maybe we are in a position to run a youth group but aren’t in a position to run a men’s group. That doesn’t mean we don’t run the youth group. It just means we run what we are able, when we are able. The point isn’t to exclude and insist certain demographics don’t matter, it is just a basic response to the question, what is it feasible for us to do right now? If no church can do everything, we have to think about what we can do. If we are intent on doing what we can, it makes no sense not doing what we can do simply because there are some other things that we cannot do.
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The Reformed tradition, with its rich legacy of psalmody and hymnody, offers a vast reservoir of spiritual songs that teach theology, recount God’s mighty acts of creation and redemption, and express the joys and sorrows of the Christian life. Singing these truths embeds them deeply in our hearts, often becoming a source of comfort and strength in difficult times. Moreover, family worship serves as a vital tool in countering the toxic influences that pervade our culture. In a world where families are often fragmented and isolated, this practice provides a much-needed space for connection, conversation, and spiritual growth.

In the quiet corners of our homes, where the light of the gospel meets the daily rhythms of life, lies the sacred practice of family worship. Rooted deeply in the Reformed and Presbyterian heritage, this practice is not merely a tradition, but a profound means of grace, a spiritual lifeline connecting families to the very heart of God.
The Scriptures, our ultimate authority for faith and godliness, lay the foundation for family worship. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 exhorts us to diligently teach God’s commandments to our children, talking of them when we sit in our houses, walk by the way, lie down, and rise up. This holistic approach to discipleship underscores the necessity of integrating our faith into every aspect of life. It is within the confines of our homes that the seeds of faith are sown, watered, and nurtured.
In the Reformed and Presbyterian tradition, family worship is not an optional addendum, but an essential component of our Christian walk. John Calvin, a pillar of Reformed theology, emphasized the need for Christian instruction in the home. The Westminster Confession, a cornerstone of Presbyterian doctrine, echoes this sentiment, underscoring the duty of heads of households in nurturing their family in the grace and admonition of the Lord. Presbytery candidates and examining committees are wise when they inquire into the daily practices of private devotion of prospective candidates for ministry.
At its core, family worship is beautifully simple, yet profoundly influential. It typically involves three key elements: reading the Scriptures, praying, and singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. This triad forms a balanced diet for the soul, fostering a holistic spiritual development within the family.
Reading the Scriptures together as a family anchors our lives in God’s truth. It allows every member, from the youngest to the oldest, to hear the voice of God speaking through His Word. The practice of daily Bible reading as a family instills a deep reverence for the authority of Scripture and equips every family member with the wisdom and guidance needed for life’s journey.
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It is possible, in certain circumstances, to depart from a congregation in a loving way. Then there are ways one can depart from a congregation which leaves a wake of pain and suffering behind. One way honors the Lord and the other harms His people.

Today’s article is going to be difficult and could be painful for some. It may be controversial. How does one leave their local congregation? How does a Christian leave a congregation of people they love?
There are a myriad of reasons for a person to leave a congregation. Sometimes these reasons are good and sometimes these reasons are poor. The reality of the American church is that religion has been democratized. Members of a congregation may vote with their feet. Members may walk out and go to another church down the road or on the other side of town. Elders may attempt to shepherd well and encourage members to stay. However, there seems to be times in which the Lord’s people will do as they please.
What this article will not do is evaluate the plethora of reasons why one would leave their home church. This article is not about leaving a church in which there are moral failings or doctrinal errors. There are times in which, for the glory of God and care for one’s family, immediate departure should occur. That is not who this article is written for. Rather, this article is written for those who are considering a transfer to another congregation for non moral reasons.
The reader will find six principles to implement if you feel you must leave your present congregation.
There are ways in which one can leave the congregation well. It is possible, in certain circumstances, to depart from a congregation in a loving way. Then there are ways one can depart from a congregation which leaves a wake of pain and suffering behind. One way honors the Lord and the other harms His people.
Principle No. 1—Be clear why you are considering to leave.
For many who leave their home congregations the process starts as a subjective feeling that something is not right or is not working. It is important not to trust one’s feelings. The heart is deceitfully wicked and should not be trusted. Christians ought to question our feelings. We ought to stop and ask ourselves, “Why am I feeling this way.”
Too frequently Christians have vague ideas about why they feel as if they no longer belong in a congregation. Has there been a shift in the philosophy of ministry within the congregation? Have circumstances in your life changed in such a way that make travel an undue burden? Has there been a demographic change in the congregation that has left your family isolated? Have there been doctrinal shifts either in yourself or in the congregation? Has there been a lack of discipleship or a stagnation of spiritual growth?
Far too often many members have vague notions of why they feel they ought to leave. In the Reformed Presbyterian Church membership is formal and covenantal. Members make promises to God, the elders, and the congregation. The affirmations and promises which a member answers forms a binding relationship that ought to be taken with solemnity and sobriety. To break this relationship on opaque feelings is disingenuous and unloving.
You feeling that something is off may not be entirely incorrect. There may be things that need to change. There may be improvements that could occur in the local congregation. There may be ministries that need to be created to shepherd and disciple. There may be a reality to time, finances, family growth, job changes, and etc. that have caused a shift in one’s ability to continue to be a growing and active participant in their local congregation. Again, there are a myriad of practical and even biblical reasons why one may need to transfer their membership. Knowing exactly why you are considering a change is of the upmost importance. Have a concrete why.
Once you have your concrete why go and search the scriptures. Search out the Lord’s Word to see if there is Biblical warrant for your reasons. There may not be one proof text for your concern. However, you may search the Scriptures and find passages or themes that speak toward your concern. Maybe your why is that there has not been enough emphasis on evangelism. Maybe your why is that the congregation is growing but certain groups of people are being overlooked in discipleship and fellowship. Your why may be that there is plenty of doctrinal fidelity but there is a real lack of opportunity to fellowship and be in communion with other members. It could be that you have noticed the Scriptures time and again speaking of a care for the poor and orphans but you have not noticed that same emphasis in your present congregation.
Being crystal clear about why you are considering a change will help you in principle number two.
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