A number of weeks ago I shared an article titled 40 Random Pieces of Advice for the Christian Life. This isn’t something I intend to do often but did want to follow up at least once with a sequel of sorts. I hope there is something here you find helpful.

Be appropriately skeptical about new movements, new terminology, and new methods. If the church has gotten along pretty well without it for the past 2,000 years, it’s unlikely that it’s actually a key to success in the Christian life. This is as true of phenomena in the wider Christian context (e.g. The Prayer of Jabez, Purpose Driven) as in the narrower Reformed subculture (e.g. the terms “missional,” or “gospel-centered”).

One of the best ways to show love to your friends is to show love to your friends’ children. Take an interest in them, love them, and be a friend to them.

You can count on it as a general rule that what you gain from a church service will relate directly to your level of expectation and preparation. Expect little and you are likely to gain little. Prepare little and you are likely to benefit little.

Don’t put too much stock in parenting books written by parents who haven’t yet successfully launched their kids into independence. None of us really knows how we’ve done until our kids have moved beyond our oversight and authority.

Understand that if you will only follow those in positions of authority over you when they do the things you want them to do anyway, you’re not actually submitting to their leadership. Sometimes submission to our leaders means joyfully following their leadership even when we disagree with it. (Which is not the same as saying we should obey our leaders when they tell us to sin.)

In your personal devotions, try listening to the Bible if you typically read it, or try reading the Bible if you typically listen to it. Both are good and both are modeled in Scripture. Each engages the mind in different ways.

Remember that you may share the blame for your children’s sin. You may have exasperated them to such a degree that you bear at least part of the responsibility for their sinful response to your poor leadership. And because this is true of parenting, it’s true also of other positions of leadership. (See Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21)

Be aware of the natural human tendency to consider what a given Bible text does not say before focusing on what it actually does say. Your first consideration should be “how do I obey this?” rather than “what are the exceptions?” This happens most often when it comes to passages about honoring parents, submitting to the government, waging total war against sin, being constant in prayer, and so on.

Be sparing in criticisms of the local church or its leaders in the presence of your children. Your grumbling could teach them that they ought to relate to the church as critics more than participants. It could turn them against the local church as an institution.

Distinguish between reading the Bible for depth and reading it for breadth. In other words, invest some effort in going deep into particular books, chapters, and verses, and also some effort into gaining an overview of the entire book. Read fast sometimes and slow other times; read huge passages on some occasions and small ones on others.

It is a wise habit to pray for your children with your children. It is a blessing to children to hear your heart for them. (Also, pray for your spouse with your spouse, for your church with your church, and so on.)

Embrace diversity in the local church, acknowledging the tendency to eschew it. Also, understand that diversity comes in many forms—racial, cultural, political, ideological, theological, and so on.

Relational problem-solving is almost always best done face-to-face. When that’s not possible, FaceTime or a phone call is second best. Email and social media are usually about as bad as it gets. Fight the tendency to attempt to solve problems at a distance instead of close-up.

When you are at your best, plan for your worst. In those times when you are spiritually healthy, make plans for the times when you may be spiritually weak or despondent. In those times when you are zealous, make plans for the times when you may face fierce temptations to sin.

It is good to train children to work. However, they will spend the rest of their lives working hard, so it’s not a bad thing to go a bit easy on them and let them enjoy their childhood. Life is long and it will only get more difficult.

Learn to say “I love you” to more people than merely family members.

When someone suffers a sore loss, grieve with them and offer them your condolences in a way that is appropriate to your relationship. But then also put the anniversary of that loss on your calendar and get in touch with them a month and a year later to say that you remember them and are praying for them.

One of the rare virtues in the workaday world is the ability to take things to completion. It takes little skill to begin something, but often takes great skill and perseverance to complete it well. Be known for finishing what you start.

Try to learn a good number of hymns by heart. They will serve you well throughout your life.

Pray through your church’s directory. Make it one of your ministries to the local church that you pray for each person specifically and by name. The directory is the perfect guide for this.

If wives are to submit to their own husbands, husbands are to live and lead in such a way that they make such submission natural and easy. If husbands are to love their wives, wives are to do all they can to make themselves easy to love.

Occasionally ask yourself, “If I was Satan how would I tempt me?”

It’s almost impossible to ruin a child when they are young, so don’t despair if you aren’t perfectly consistent or sometimes have to veer away from your philosophy of parenting. The kids will be alright—they are nothing if not resilient.

Before you visit a country or culture that is not your own, ask someone what customs you should practice and what customs you should avoid in order to prevent offense. What is polite in your culture may be downright insulting in another (and what is insulting in your culture may be courteous in another).

At least occasionally, visit a church in which you are a clear visible minority. This may help you better understand the challenges and discomforts people may face when they visit your church. Even better, you may learn how other traditions worship in ways that are different but no-less-faithful.

Pray with your spouse before you go sleep at night, even if only very briefly.

When you vacation far from home, and especially in other countries, don’t neglect attending church, even if the service is in a language you don’t speak. You may be surprised at how much you gain even if you can’t understand much of what is being said or sung.

Read biographies written for children or young adults. They will give you an easy-to-read, compact, nothing-but-the-essentials overview of a life. If you are intrigued, you can advance to a grown-up, full-length biography.

Every Sunday, try to speak to at least one child at church who is not your own. It’s generally best to get down on their level to do this, so be prepared to hit the floor.

Terms like “introvert” and “extrovert” may be helpful descriptors of personality types, but they should never be used as an excuse to neglect opportunities to love and serve others. Whether introverted or extroverted, be dutiful in all God calls you to, even when it cuts against the grain.

In all the duties and responsibilities that comes with raising children, don’t neglect to just plain enjoy your children.

If you find yourself struggling to pray in your times of personal devotion, try praying out loud. The car is an ideal place for this, perhaps especially if you have a commute.

Have an awareness of those times when emotion tends to overwhelm reason and determine that you will not attempt to have hard conversations in those times. This may mean instituting something like a “10 PM rule” in which you set issues aside at that time and pick them up again the next day.

Commend parents who are parenting well but who may not have a lot confidence in themselves. Few parents really believe they are carrying out their task well.

Less important than complimenting a fellow Christian is identifying evidences of God’s grace in that person’s life. It is always encouraging to hear how others see God working in us and through us.

Don’t whine about the “greet one another” time at church and don’t be anxious about it. Rather, embrace it and make the most of it, whether you naturally love it or dread it.

Read catechisms and confessions. You may be surprised to learn how many issues they speak to with thoughtfulness, clarity, and deep biblical grounding.

Embrace your finitude—the fact that you are limited and weak and in so many ways insufficient and incapable. This is a feature of your humanity rather than a bug.

If you begin each day asking “What is my God-given duty today?” and then do your best to carry it out, you will not go far wrong in life.

And, to end this time where I did before, always be certain to distinguish between what the Bible mandates and what a mere human suggests. Apply human wisdom only when it complements and applies what the Bible demands.

I messed up over the Christmas holidays. I made a simple but silly mistake—a mistake that left me entering the new year feeling weary instead of rested, feeling drained instead of energized. It was a failure to plan, a failure to remember a simple truth about work and rest.

Like so many other people, I chose not to work during the week that falls between Christmas and New Year’s—at least, not to do more than the minimum (which is essentially just running my daily A La Carte column). In my case it makes sense because few people take the time to read blogs over the holidays. They are distracted and out of their normal habits and routines, so readership plummets and that makes it an ideal time to reduce my effort. So I didn’t really work. But I also didn’t really rest.
My planning had gone as far as to block the time off but not as far as to figure out what I would do instead. I freed up a solid 40 hours between 9 and 5, but didn’t put anything in its place. And so what I found myself doing was, well, nothing. Or, at least, nothing useful. I watched dumb stuff on YouTube and caught up on some programs on Prime Video. I scrolled through a bunch of sites that were interesting, though not particularly edifying. I didn’t do anything bad, but I also didn’t do anything good. And at the end of it all I just felt bored and I felt drained and I felt bad about myself.
It was only as the weekend came and I faced the prospect of the end of the holidays that I understood the mistake I had made. It was only then that I remembered that I need to plan my rest as much as my work. It was only then that I remembered that I rest best when I rest according to at least some kind of a plan. I just don’t have the instincts or the self-control or the character to make something when I’ve planned nothing.
What I should have done was put at least a bit of thought into the week that loomed empty before me. I should have prepared a book or two that would have been light but still interesting. I should have booked a day trip or two that I would have enjoyed with my family. I should have found a location or two that I’ve never photographed before and planned to visit them. I would have found any or all of this truly restful.
But I didn’t. So I suppose I will simply have to accept the mistake I made and embrace it as an opportunity to grow—an opportunity to learn that rest takes work, that if I am going to truly rest, I will need to rest according to plan.

This Q&A with Michael Horton comes from Zondervan Reflective. Learn more about Horton’s new book at RecoveringOurSanity.com.

What prompted you to write Recovering Our Sanity? 
Michael Horton: The replication of America’s “civil war” in the body of Christ. It’s one thing to be hated by the world because of the gospel; it’s another thing for Christians to hate each other because of politics. But then it seemed like, with the last couple of years, a lot of other fears presented themselves in bolder relief. It’s deeper than whether you wear a face mask.
What’s the #1 moral and spiritual problem in America today? Take a minute and think about it.
If you’re like me, the top 10 get filled in pretty quickly—the sins of “the others” (or my own that I keep secret). Now, what’s the #1 sin in the whole of biblical history? “There is no fear of God before their eyes” (Gen 20:11; Dt. 25:18; Ps 36:1; Rom 3:17, etc.). We try to domesticate it: “Fear doesn’t really mean fear; it means respect.” Well, it includes respect, but it’s being super scared—phobos in Greek, as in “phobia.” Why do we think that people shouldn’t be afraid of God? That’s where our problems begin. 
So, inspired by Daniel 4, I began to think of how we’re all little Nebuchadnezzars prancing on the roof of our personal palace boasting in our heart, “Is this not the great Babylon I have built by my power and for my glory?” Humbled—actually, humiliated—by God, the king realized the hard way that God is sovereign not just in general but in particular, over him. “I raised my eyes to heaven,” he said, “and my sanity was restored.” 
If I never leave my house because I’m jumpy about panthers lying in wait, that’s a little crazy. But it’s no saner to pretend a panther doesn’t exist if I meet one in the wild. It’s just the opposite for us right now. We’re terrified of losing power, security, elections, prosperity, health, a job, and so forth, while the fear of God is often the last thing we take seriously. I’m not just talking about “Others” but “Us.”

So what is the sanity that you would like to see us recover?
Horton: Sanity is just living with the grain of reality. “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (Prov 9:10). It’s the fear of the Lord that drives us to God’s mercy in Christ. “But with you, there is forgiveness, that you may be feared” (Ps 130:4). What a paradox, right? There’s a terrifying, unsettling fear of God that’s just sane. Then there’s a new kind of fear—with the anxiety removed—that results from the gospel. It’s sane too, but a total surprise. Two different sorts of fear: one from Mount Sinai, the other from Mount Calvary. And we need both. 

How has “cancel culture” exacerbated our fears? Should Christians be concerned with being on the “right side of history?”
Horton: I’m a 56-year-old guy raising teens. I have fears, believe me. In no other period have social convictions about right and wrong changed dramatically in such a short period of time. But that includes insulting people’s dignity by “canceling” them. That used to not be ok. But now many Christians think it’s fine because we’re good and they’re bad—really bad. 
When we get to the place of canceling, we’ve closed our hearts and turned off our minds. Now it’s just emotional blackmail, manipulation to get what we want. We sort of started this with boycotting Disney and then others back in the 1980s. 
Peter tells us, “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord.” That’s well-placed fear. Next sentence: “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” It’s been said that a quarrel kills a good argument. If I can’t listen and formulate a good argument, I’ll just toss verbal grenades and slogans at people. “Well, you’re just a homophobe” or “You’re a Social Justice Warrior.” We throw out epithets like “Critical Race Theory” (or just “CRT”) or “Christian Nationalist” as if the person we’re talking to can be dismissed with a label. And there’s one more sentence in 1 Peter 3:15: “But do this with gentleness and respect.” I can do that when I fear God instead of my neighbor.
The Bible gives us a story in which the stories of the daily news can be interpreted properly. Instead, we often interpret the Bible in light of the daily news. The church reflects the same worldly divisions. There are “FOX” churches and “CNN” churches. We’re certainly not getting the fear of God from those outlets. They’re just stoking our other fears—and making a lot of money in the process.
Jesus is the “right side of history.” He went to the cross but was raised on the third day and is glorified at the right hand of the Father, interceding for sinners, until he returns to establish final justice, righteousness, peace, and life. We’re called to care about the common good of our neighbors in this life—indeed, more than expecting the world to treat us well. But we’re longing ultimately for their salvation and incorporation into Christ’s body. When we see our neighbors through his eyes, through the lens of his love and mercy, we begin to honor them as created in his image and in need of Christ just like us. We don’t cancel fellow image-bearers of God. 
What the world needs to see are not fearful, angry, and proud Christians making the same stand that Republicans and Democrats make. The world doesn’t need the church to make a statement by wearing or not wearing masks. The world needs to hear good news, good arguments, and see Christians on their knees with the tax collector instead of in the peanut gallery with the Pharisee, confessing their sins and being forgiven. Because let’s face it, Christians have done some pretty bad stuff in Jesus’ name. “You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law,” Paul indicts. “For, as it is written, ‘The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” (Rom 2:23-24).
Precisely because we live in Jesus’ story, we take justice and righteousness seriously but know that it won’t ever be established perfectly and finally until Jesus does it in person. Not just “Others” but “We” will be praying, “Have mercy on me, a sinner,” until Jesus returns. 

You say that “death is the ultimate source of our anxieties and that fear of it can make us do some crazy things.” Can you tell us more about this?
Horton: As Christians, we say we believe in “the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting.” But often we live as if death and its symptoms—loneliness, job loss, moral decay and injustice, climate change, health, and politics—are in charge. That’s what I mean by “we worship what we fear.” If I’m most afraid of losing my job, then I’m finding my security in someone or something other than Christ. If I’m afraid of not being happy, I’ll make my wife and kids bear the burden of ultimate satisfaction—and maybe ditch them or ignore them when they don’t. If I’m afraid of all the social, political, economic, and moral changes, I’ll blame “Them”—whoever they are—for my unhappiness.
But when we raise our eyes to heaven like Nebuchadnezzar, our sanity is restored. That’s just living with the grain of reality. When we imagine we’re in charge, that we can transform ourselves or our world, or that the government or entertainment or a political figure can do this for us, it’s literally insane. It’s living against the grain of reality.
Reality is defined by the Triune God—the Father, in the Son, by the Spirit. First, God created us. We belong to him. He’s not there for our happiness. We exist for his glory and we’re made to enjoy him. When we enjoy someone or something else in that way, we make them our “creator.” Second, we belong to him by right of redemption. He chose us, redeemed us, regenerated, adopted, and justified us; incorporated us into Christ’s body. Praise the Lord that he has the whole world—and us—in his hands and he knows where history is going and in fact is already up ahead of us, leading us there by his word and Spirit.

Why is regular involvement in a local church essential?
Horton: Actual institutions mediating between the state and the individual are disintegrating. This is where the kingdom of Christ really stands out—or should, at least. When Jesus said, “I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it,” he wasn’t talking about a Platonic idea. He meant concrete, local, embodied branches of himself as the Vine. 
In a world of soundbites and surrogates, we go to church to actually encounter the God who made and redeemed us. We’re not just hearing the story again but being re-casted by the Holy Spirit from the dead-end stories of this fading age into the greatest story ever told: reality. Here, God makes a real promise with real words from the lips of another sinner, uses real water to seal that promise, and keeps pledging with real wine and bread. It’s where we hear, sing, and pray God’s word together, confess our sins together and confess our common faith in the Triune God, hear God’s absolution. We become what the word says. CNN and FOX won’t be covering that, but it’s the “breaking news.” And we’re no longer afraid.

How does Christian nationalism violate the doctrine of “one holy, catholic, and apostolic church?”
Horton: There is one Christian nation made up of “people from every tribe and people and nation and tongue” (Rev 5:9). Christ is the head with many members, the Vine with many branches. And a lot of those members or branches are people we see as “Them,” not “Us.” The world can’t unite people of different ethnic, socio-economic, and political backgrounds. In fact, big government, big entertainment media, and big business thrive on our divisions. But Christ promises to incorporate our divided social communities and our own divided selves into himself as the head. 
America has had a lot of Christian influence, a lot of it for the common good. But white Christians have done terrible things in the name of Christ throughout our history. We’ve used Jesus and the Bible for our sinful agendas. We have to own up to that. “Christian America” means something different to an African-American brother or sister than it does to a white Christian school teacher.
America doesn’t pick up the story where Israel left off. Often, the Black church has also appealed to these narratives as if they applied to the America envisioned by Dr. King rather than by white nationalists. Jesus is the fulfillment of that story, not America. He is the true Israel. The United States is not God’s chosen people. 
Once we accept that, we can truly secularize the narrative—not in the sense that God hasn’t blessed America providentially with a lot of blessings, but in the sense that the sacred isn’t allowed to migrate from Christ’s kingdom to the kingdoms of this age. To identify Christ’s kingdom with any kingdom of this age is to reject “one holy, catholic [worldwide] and apostolic church.”
All of this to say that all empires of this age are corrupt and destined to crumble. The founding fathers gave us a great Constitution—in my view, the best in history, but it’s not inspired and inerrant and it is the New Testament that provides the constitution for the new covenant people of God. All the other kingdoms will be shaken, leaving at the end only one left standing (Heb 12:28). 

What is your hope for the readers of this book?
Horton: If we recover a fear of God, we’ll recover sanity. I’m not writing for the general public. The main reader I have in mind is someone like me who believes that Jesus is the only way, the Bible is the only reliable revelation of God’s saving purposes, and yet feels anxious about life right now. It’s not a jeremiad. I’m not indicting. Rather, my hope is that we can all return to “the solid joys and lasting treasures that none but Zion’s children know.” And that starts with the fear of God that is the beginning of sanity.
Learn more at RecoveringOurSanity.com.