It is during common everyday activities that Christian families are encouraged to talk about God and His Word and to consider how doctrine applies to various circumstances that arise. Therefore, let us seize those opportunities to explain and apply the wisdom of God’s Word in our families. Dear believer, just as a plant flourishes in the fertile soil of the earth, so a Christian family flourishes in the sound doctrine of the Scriptures.

Every Christian home is meant to be a school of Christ—a place of spiritual nurture, loving discipline, sound doctrine, and biblical piety. This is not a reference to Victorian-era portraits of the Christian family; it is the clear teaching of Scripture and the Reformed tradition. Even so, our hectic schedules, ubiquitous gadgets, and misplaced priorities often make our homes similar to those of our unbelieving neighbors. God becomes an afterthought. Here are three things to remember as we seek to build God-centered homes where sound doctrine is the foundation and our Lord Jesus Christ is the cornerstone.
1. We must be committed to the ministry of the local church.
Every Christian family needs God’s appointed means of grace and the shepherding care of godly elders (Acts 20:28; Heb. 13:17; 1 Tim. 3:1–7). The ministry of the visible church is a nonnegotiable for believers and their children. The first Christian families were “devoted to the apostles’ teaching [doctrine] and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and the prayers” (Acts 2:42). They were under the loving spiritual oversight of elders—men who were called to “shepherd the flock of God” and “give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it” (Titus 1:9, emphasis added; see 1 Peter 5:2; Titus 2:1). The church was central to their Christian identity. It is inside, not outside, the divinely ordained structure of a biblical church that Christian families are grounded in the gospel. A faithful church is where families mature in their knowledge, understanding, and practice of sound doctrine. Therefore, Christian households are encouraged to submit joyfully to the ministry of a local church body and to learn from pastors who labor “to present everyone mature in Christ” (Col. 1:28–29; see Eph. 4:11–16).
2. We must be dedicated to regular times of family worship.
Family worship is a time in which the entire household gathers for singing, prayer, the reading of scripture, and catechesis. A Christian home is a worshiping home.
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Paul encourages Timothy, primarily, in two ways. First, he reminds Timothy that God has not given His ministers a spirit of timidity or cowardice (v. 7), but rather has furnished them with the potent and effective tools of power, love, and self-discipline. Timothy, therefore, should be unashamed of the “witness about our Lord,” or of being associated with those suffering for that witness, and join Paul in suffering for the gospel by the power of God (v. 8). Shunning cowardice and embracing hardship are key elements of faithful gospel ministry. Second, Paul points Timothy to the majesty and authority of King Jesus.

For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and self-discipline. Therefore do not be ashamed of either the witness about our Lord or me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God… (2 Timothy 1:7–8, LSB)
The theme of Paul’s exhortation to Timothy in this passage is courage. As the apostle looks to the future and sees that “the time of my departure has come” (4:6), he recognizes the responsibility of faithful gospel ministry is passing from his shoulders to the next generation. He will soon be gone, but Timothy will remain. Consequently, Paul, now an older man, seeks to stir Timothy up in the faith and strengthen his resolve to stand firm in the face of sure and certain opposition — “all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (3:12).
Paul encourages Timothy, primarily, in two ways. First, he reminds Timothy that God has not given His ministers a spirit of timidity or cowardice (v. 7), but rather has furnished them with the potent and effective tools of power, love, and self-discipline. Timothy, therefore, should be unashamed of the “witness about our Lord,” or of being associated with those suffering for that witness, and join Paul in suffering for the gospel by the power of God (v. 8). Shunning cowardice and embracing hardship are key elements of faithful gospel ministry.
Second, Paul points Timothy to the majesty and authority of King Jesus.
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All ecosystems are in need of renewal and revival. Christian ecosystems especially.  And I believe a marker of both renewal and revival is a brave commitment to flush out the toxins within a system whatever the personal cost to you, or the relational ties to others. We need to heed the words of 1Peter 5.

Arcissist NOT Narcissist
I received a lot of feedback concerning my recent post on the difference between  what I now term”‘arcissists” and “narcissists”.
There were a few minor quibbles over why we have such a therapeutic culture, and a concern that the term “narcissist” is overused (hint: it is!). But the term “arcissist? Well it seems to fit the presenting issues I am talking about.
Okay, so the bloke (and it’s usually a bloke) might not be full blown narcissist, but he’s got a nasty habit of shredding and bullying anyone in his orbit who dares to challenge him. Or even if they don’t dare to challenge him.
The “arcissist” has a keen radar on everyone else’s issues, and very little on their own. They will pick and pick at your supposed sinfulness, but their rampant bad behaviour? They are – as I have heard it said – just being a little bit grumpy.
And there is a reason for that. In fact there are a number of reasons. The first reason of course is the lack of emotional intelligence in the arcissist themselves. Or perhaps – in theological terms – the presence of ongoing sin that hardens them and deceives them as to their true behaviour.
Arcissistic Ecosystems
But the arcissist is not the primary problem. “What?” I hear you say!, “How can that be?”  Simply this: Bullying leaders would not be able to do what they do unless they are at the centre of an ecosystem that at the very least permits their behaviour by turning a blind eye, or encourages it by being the gatekeeper against all criticism.
In other words the arcissist needs an ecosystem in order to first survive and then to thrive. The behaviour and the overlooking of it by others, is reinforcing.
In all ecosystems there are macro and micro participants that keep the system going. So naturally this is also the case in the arcissistic ecosystem. Let’s unpack the macro participants today and see what the wider issues are, and we will look at the micro participants in the next post.
Macro: The Culture “Out There”
Throughout history the primary problem in churches has been the infestation of “out there”  values “in here”. In other words the conformity to the world that infects the church. And it’s true of the arcissistic ecosystem as well.
When it comes to church ecosystems the wider culture has too often been allowed to set the tone. Now in a sense this has always been an issue for the church, and it presents in different ways at different times in history.
But in our current time, with its celebrity focus, and its oft-uncritical default commitment to impressiveness over integrity,  and its desire to “get stuff done”, this problem has ramped up. All sorts of arcisissts are not only excused, but feted by church ecosystems. And it is having consequences.
When we see the secular world  give oxygen to self-purposing, self-focussed and selfish behaviours, then it stands to reason that the water from that ecosystem will leak into the church pond. Especially without good Biblical critique.
We have seen this in the recent past with examples such as Mark Driscoll’s increasing volatility and platform rants. His church put up with it because it aped the wider culture’s commitment to the apex leader who “gets things done”. He also held all of the cultural, if not formal, power within the ecosystem, making it almost impossible, or at least very costly, to bring about change.
That we keep coming around to this arcissistic  issue tells us that, unlike 3 John, in which the apostle calls out the toxic leadership of “Diotrophes, who likes to be first”, indicates we have not figured out how to solve it.
With failing attendances, weak leaders, and unclear direction, the modern day Diotrophes is, by contrast, seen as a strong decisive leader (and certainly thinks of himself as one, and is adulated as such by his followers).
But the fruit is so often bitter. The result is so often that other people are hurt and damaged in the process. The ends do not justify the means. It’s hard to see how we get to such leadership from following Christ. But hey, here we are!
Macro: The Culture “In Here”
Of course, just as Jerusalem at its worst back in the days of its idolatrous kings was not such much destroyed from without, as much as hollowed out from within, so too the church ecosystem. Arcissism, where it exists in wider church structures such as denominations, is too often tolerated – and often rewarded – by a system whose aim is to ensure its own survival first and foremost.
Church denominations have to examine themselves, and realise that their own structures may not only be implicitly encouraging such types of leaders, but that they may then be going out of their way to protect such leaders when they behave poorly (again).
There’s a myth that the likes of Driscoll got away with it – and continues to do so – because there are insufficient structures and leadership dynamics to stop him. He’s the biggest player in the house, the house that he himself built.
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