What Everyone Wants
Despair and Hope
After seventeen years of pastoral ministry, I have observed a common thread in the various desires of men and women. It’s not the accumulation of wealth, the pleasure of passion, or accolades from achievement that ultimately satisfies. It goes much deeper. People need hope in something that is solid and lasting, and they despair when they have no hope.
Despair and False Hope
The great English journalist and satirist Malcolm Muggeridge reflected on human desire, noting certain forms of despair in the twentieth century, particularly among supporters of Stalin in Russia and Western nihilists devoted to materialism. From his analysis, Muggeridge concluded that modern man has a “suicidal impulse”—a type of self-hatred. This impulse has spawned a bewildering number of proposals to cure, or at least curb, man’s despair of himself. Unfortunately, varied and complex as they are, these remedies have a common thread: their ingenuity and power are limited to merely human resources.
One merely human remedy for overcoming despair is an emotive positive outlook excavated from the depths of one’s soul. This thinking is reflected in well-known phrase “hoping against hope.” It often comes in the midst of calamity and disappointment. In spite of misfortune, we “hope” things will go well. The actor Josh Hartnett captured this notion when he said: “Hope is the most exciting thing in life, and if you honestly believe that love is out there, it will come. And even if it doesn’t come straightaway, there is still that chance all through your life that it will.”
Well-meaning as this attempt is, it is a long distance from the biblical vision of hope. It is not a matter of delivering ourselves or “hoping for the best.” Nor is it wishful thinking or blind optimism. Biblical hope, rather, is a divine gift that God offers to the world through His Son, Jesus. This, however, raises the question of how one recognizes and receives such a gift.
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An Oracle for a King
Ultimately, this oracle of King Lemuel’s mother could be summed up as three warnings against the improper use of authority. I have previously covered the topic of authority in some detail, describing how God gives us authority for the purpose of obeying Him and caring for the people He has entrusted to us. Therefore, if we disobey Him we are acting outside of our authority. This oracle tells us we must use our God-given authority to ensure justice and righteousness rather than abusing it on personal pleasures. We must approach our responsibilities with sobriety, not allowing any substances or distractions to compromise our ability to make wise decisions that benefit those God has placed in our care. Finally, we must overcome any temptation to ethical compromise that gratifies our own desire.
The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
-Proverbs 31:1-9, ESVWhen looking for leadership lessons in Scripture, I doubt Proverbs 31 would come to mind for most people. Most Christians associate Proverbs 31 with one thing: its description of the excellent wife. I did refer to that description in my leadership paper when discussing what the Bible teaches about women in leadership in the workplace, but aside from that its application to leaders in general is not immediately clear. In truth, the description of the excellent wife is the second of two sections of Proverbs 31. The often-overlooked first nine verses of Proverbs 31 are an oracle about how to approach the responsibilities of kingship, but it can be applied to any type of leadership. In addition to political leaders (Romans 13), God has appointed husbands to lead their homes and fathers assisted by mothers to lead their children (Ephesians 5:22-6:4), pastors to lead local churches assisted by deacons (1 Timothy 3, 1 Peter 5), and supervisors to lead in the workplace (Ephesians 6:5-9). But since leadership is really about influence, everyone can lead in informal ways, which means that Scripture’s exhortations for leaders are applicable to all of us. Therefore, leaders in all walks of life would be wise to heed the warnings of this three-thousand-year-old oracle.
Before we can apply this oracle to leaders in general, we need to understand its context. Proverbs 31:1 describes this as the oracle of a certain King Lemuel that was taught to him by his mother. There is debate over who this Lemuel was. Some think it was another name for Solomon while others believe he was a foreign king. Regardless, it is clearly something that this king was taught this oracle by his wise mother to help him remember the most important aspects of being a king. As such, she likely taught it to him from a young age, and the fact that it is recorded in Scripture as his words rather than hers shows that he remembered it well, so her lesson was effective. Earlier in Proverbs, Solomon exhorts his son to not forsake his mother’s teaching (Proverbs 1:8, 6:20), and this son clearly did that by learning this oracle well enough to remember it and seeing it as important enough to pass on to others. And since the Holy Spirit inspired this like all others passages of Scripture, we know that it was recorded for our instruction (Romans 15:4), so this oracle is just as much for us as it was for this mysterious king.
A Call to Caution
The oracle begins with a single phrase repeated three times in verse 2: “what are you doing?”. Before looking at this phrase, it is important to note that each time it appears in verse 2, it is followed by a statement of affection from this mother to her son. Thus, it comes from a place of great love care from a mother who wants what is best for her son, which motivates her to warn him of potential pitfalls of kingship, so she repeats the phrase “what are you doing?”. This phrase is used by Moses’ father-in-law Jethro before the latter offered his wise and necessary advice (Exodus 18:14). It would also be used later by God to question why Elijah had fled to Horeb (1 Kings 19:9,13) and by Nehemiah when rebuking the returned exiles (Nehemiah 13:17). When we combine this with the statement that no one can ask that question of God (Ecclesiastes 8:4), it is clear that this statement is a precursor to correcting bad or unwise behavior. Undoubtedly every mother has said this phrase countless times when her children are deviating from wise behavior. The exhortation is for the child to pause and consider his or her actions, so that is what this mother is telling her royal son: stop and consider your actions.
This is important for all people but especially for leaders. The more powerful and influential leaders are, the more likely their words and actions are to have unintended consequences. An off-handed comment can be taken as direction that the leader never intended, resulting in wasteful effort by subordinates trying to do what they think the leader wants. Regardless of the level of leadership, every leader makes decisions that affect other people. Growing up, my pastor would frequently say that there are only three things that are eternal: God, His Word, and people. Leadership roles are temporary, but every leader is entrusted by God for a time with caring for people who He made in His image. Therefore, it is of utmost importance for leaders to stop and consider the affects their decisions might have on those people God has entrusted to their care. Scripture is clear that leaders will have to give an account to God for how they cared for the people God entrusted to them (Ephesians 6:9). But the more important application for leaders is to stop and think of the ethical implications of their actions, which is what the rest of the oracle is about. Leadership is about making decisions, which puts leaders into a position where opportunities for ethical compromise will arise, which leads to the first specific exhortation of this oracle.
Do Not Give Your Strength to Women
This mother’s first exhortation is for her son to avoid giving his strength to women (verse 3). She even goes so far as to say that this is what destroys (literally “wipes out”) kings.
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Battling Pornography
There has to be a greater affection than your desire for sin, otherwise, you’ll keep going back to your deepest desires. The moment you begin desiring lust in your mind, long before you ever open up the videos or images, repent for even the desire to sin. Flee to Christ immediately.
The need is real—the battle is vicious. Pornography is rampant. 96% of adults and teens today are ambivalent at best about the use of pornography, with most either encouraging or accepting its use. And though the church fairs better than the world, the stats are still alarmingly high. 64% of Christian men view pornography at least once a month—and while Christian women are much lower in prevalence than believing men, they too are not unaffected by this ensnaring sin.
So what are we to do? How can the church be set free, and what helps are there in combating this idol of the heart and lust of the eyes? There are two primary means of response—and the one without the other will fail.
The first is radical accountability. Jesus, speaking on the topic of lust, says that we must be willing to gouge out our eye and cut off our hand in resisting sin (Matt 5:29-30). Far from advocating literal self-mutilation, our Savior is calling upon us to take drastic measures in ridding our lives of sin. He says “For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell” and on that point, he’s being dreadfully serious! Our Lord means for us to remove all means which are causing us to stumble. Here particularly speaking of what we view (the eye) and how we use the members of our body (our hand)—and understood in the context in which he was speaking, this is shockingly evocative language! The point is clear, whatever is in our lives which is a source of temptation to sexual sin—remove it! Is it the smart phone, the tablet, the computer, Netflix…whatever the case may be…rid one’s life of such temptations immediately.
A well known counseling professor of mine says the first question he asks young men who want to be free of pornography is “are you willing to get rid of your smartphone?” and if they don’t say yes, he effectively tells them: “come back to me when you’re ready to get serious about your sin.”
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Why You Should Pray for Your Pastor and How to Pray for Him
By Christ’s intercession, prayers are divinely answered with lavish love and generous grace. Therefore, it is a true blessing for your church when you intercede for your pastor before your heavenly Father’s throne of grace.
When we think of people in the church who may need prayer, we often think of people struggling through life.
We pray for the single mother fighting to hold things together, the depressed young man unsure and anxious about his future, or the lonely widow who has just lost her husband after decades of being together.
My guess is that your pastor did not figure in your list of people to pray for at church.
Your pastor may not be struggling, but he needs your prayers.
He is the one who lovingly exercises God’s authority. He diligently preaches God’s Word, week after week. He tenderly shepherds you through life. So it might seem strange that you might pray for your pastor.
After all, isn’t it supposed to work the other way around? Isn’t your pastor supposed to pray for you? It is true that your pastor prays for you. But it is equally true and important that you pray for your pastor.
Your Pastor Needs Your Prayers
The apostle Paul, in his many letters to many churches, repeatedly appeals to the saints of God to pray for him and his ministry (Rom. 15:30; Eph. 6:19; Col. 4:3; 1 Thess. 5:25; 2 Thess. 3:1).
Paul planted churches throughout the known world both in Asia Minor and in Europe. If he needed the prayers of God’s people, be assured that your local pastor is no different.
As the American Presbyterian pastor, Gardiner Spring (1785-1873) said in an address, “When the churches cease to pray for ministers, ministers will no longer be a blessing to the churches.”
Paul considered those praying for him as partners in ministry (Rom. 15:30). When you pray for your pastor, you are not only ministering to your pastor but also partnering with him in ministry. You are sharing his sacred burdens as you intercede for him.
It is an encouragement and a delight for your pastor that you are praying for him. Pray for him and let him know you are praying for him.
In Indian culture, pastors are often idolised. We place them upon a pedestal as gurus and we are always looking up to them. So much so that we often do not see their need for God’s grace. Not surprisingly, we do not pray enough for them.
Your pastor needs your prayers—whether he asks you for it or not.
Here are five ways you can and should be praying for your pastor.
1. Pray for Your Pastor’s Spiritual Walk
The vitality of your pastor’s personal spiritual life directly affects his ability to minister to the congregation.
Do not assume that your pastor is immune to the temptations of sin, the weariness of the flesh, and the distractions of this world.
He is susceptible to every frailty and brokenness that affects men and women in this life. It is vital that his life is nourished by the steady grace of Jesus Christ.
Pray your pastor will find his joy and sufficiency in the justification of Christ alone and not upon the approval of men, or even his own self-estimation.
Offer up prayers that he would not be discouraged by Satan’s accusations of his sins and failures, but trust in the atoning work of Jesus.
Pray he would fall deeper in love with his Lord and Saviour. Ask the Lord to give him greater delight in his spiritual disciplines of grace.
Pray that he works out his salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12), confident that he who began the good work will bring it to completion on the day of Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:6).
Pray that his life would be one of authentic confession of sin and repentance. It is particularly tempting, in our Indian shame and honour culture, to hide sins and present an ideal self-righteous image of oneself.
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