Why Are Churches in Denial More Today Than Ever?

We offer a self-diagnostic tool called Know Your Church.™ Church members answer 160 multiple choice questions that provide a self-perception of the church. Some leaders decide not to use it because they don’t really want to know the hard truths. Other leaders move forward with the tool but do nothing after they receive the results. But a few churches complete the survey and accept the results, both good and bad. They become determined in God’s power to make the necessary changes to become a Great Commission church.
It’s a tale of two churches.
Our team at Church Answers just delivered each church the written consultation report from our research and analysis of the congregations. Both churches have some significant deficiencies. We had cautioned the leaders of both churches that it is very common for the members to reject the findings of the consultation with both anger and denial. Leaders at both churches assured us they would gladly receive the report regardless of the challenges it might present.
Church A did indeed receive the report positively. While they had to swallow hard at some of the analyses and recommendations, they were ready to move forward. They brought our team on as consultants so they could make positive changes where they are needed.
But many of the members of Church B reacted angrily to the report. They were in denial about many of our findings. The leaders were hesitant to move forward because of some intense opposition toward the gist of the report. “That’s not our church,” one member said with unusually intense anger. “Those consultants did not know what they were doing.”
Church A represents the responses of about 15 percent of our consultations. In almost every case, we are happy to report these churches have made tremendous positive strides.
Church B unfortunately represents the other 85 percent of the churches. They are typically angry and in total denial about any deficiencies in their churches. They spend most of their energy defensively instead of taking the same energy to make needed changes. Church B congregations continue to decline. Many of them die.
We see more Church B churches today than we have in our decades of consultations. Why are churches in denial more today than ever? We identified seven reasons.
1. They are waiting for pre-COVID normalcy to return.
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Discernment and Judging
Jesus prohibits a critical spirit, but does not forbid all use of the critical faculty. To follow Jesus, we must therefore discover why he says, “Judge not,” in Matthew 7, but says, “Judge with right judgment,” in John 7. Notice first that Jesus tells His disciples to make judgments in the very chapter that says “Judge not.” Later in Matthew 7, Jesus says, “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them (vv. 15-16). That is, disciples must discern – must judge – who is a false prophet and who is a true one.
I just read again what is most likely the most misused and abused passage in all of Scripture. And I also just read two obvious correctives to such lousy interpretations and understandings that immediately follow from it. I refer of course to Matthew 7. Verses 1-5 – especially v. 1 – are the ones routinely massacred, even by so many Christians. They are certainly quite well known:
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
How many times have you heard it said – even by rather clueless Christians – that we must never judge? Yet if you press these folks and say that folks ARE to make distinctions between what is true and false, right and wrong, they will reply, ‘Oh, but that is different.’
Um, no it is not different. You cannot judge without being discerning and making distinctions. Whenever you discern and test and evaluate you are of necessity making a judgment. They go together – it is a package deal. Christians and non-Christians alike thus judge every single day – whether they are making a choice between a cappuccino and a flat white, or between one person and another for a marriage partner.
Judgment and discernment go together. And the very next verse in Matthew 7 makes this clear. Jesus goes on to say this in v. 6: “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” Deciding who is a dog or a pig, and deciding what is holy, are all matters of judgment and discernment. – can’t be avoided.
But it does not stop there. Just a few verses later we get even more commands by Jesus to judge and discern. Verses 15-20 say this:
Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.
No one reading all of Matthew 7 can ever come away with the nonsensical notion that the Christian is not to judge. Quite the opposite: while the Christian is not to engage in HYPOCRITICAL judging (which is exactly the point of verses 1-5), the believer IS to constantly judge, discern, assess, test, and weigh things up. This is commanded throughout Scripture.
All sensible (and discriminating) expositors of Scripture of course understand this. They will not fall for the ‘do not judge’ silliness. Let me draw upon a few of them here. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, in his Studies on the Sermon on the Mount says this:
If our Lord had finished His teaching with those first five verses, it would undoubtedly have led to a false position. Men and women would be so careful to avoid the terrible danger of judging in that wrong sense that they would exercise no discrimination, no judgment whatsoever. There would be no such thing as discipline in the Church, and the whole of the Christian life would be chaotic.
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“The God of All Grace” (1 Peter 5:1-14) – Words from Peter to the Pilgrim Church (Part Twelve)
The very realization that God is in control of all things is the sole reason why we should cease from being anxious! How can you cast all your cares upon a God who stands impotent before human free will? But once we humble ourselves before the mighty hand of God who foreordains whatsoever comes to pass, and who is a loving Father, who has promised to give us everything we need (not necessarily what we want), then it becomes much easier to cast our cares upon him, because we know that he already holds our future in his hands. The more we know about God’s love and power, the easier it is to trust him in hard times.
What Do You Say to Persecuted Christians?
What do you say to Christians who have been displaced from their homes by a cruel and cynical act of a pagan emperor? How do you comfort a persecuted people who see no relief in sight from their troubles? What do you say to people who are reviled and cursed because they profess their faith in Jesus Christ as Creator, Redeemer, and Lord, and refuse to worship Caesar or the pantheon of pagan gods? How do you comfort a people who are mocked because they follow the teaching of Jesus, and therefore refuse to indulge every bodily urge simply because those urges exist? If you are the apostle Peter, you tell them the truth.
The reality is that fiery trials come with being a Christian living in a pagan environment. Yet, these trials are also the means through which God strengthens our faith. Just as it was with Jesus–that the cross of Good Friday precedes the empty tomb of Easter–so too it is with Christians. Suffering precedes the glory yet to be revealed. Peter also tells these Christians that despite their troubles, God has not cast them off. Regardless of how they feel, those who believe in Jesus are his elect exiles, his spiritual temple, possessing a heavenly citizenship which guarantees all the blessings of eternal life and a heavenly inheritance. Peter also tells them that Christians must strive to humble themselves before God, and learn to cast all of their cares and worries upon the sovereign God who is also their loving father. As they do so, Christians begin to live in the hope of the eternal glories yet to come.
We now wrap-up our series on 1 Peter. In the previous discussion, we devoted our attention to several of the points raised by Peter in the concluding section of this epistle (vv. 1-14 of chapter 5)–specifically Peter’s reference to the office of elder, which functions as a bulwark against the schemes of the devil, the adversary, who is looking for struggling Christians to devour. This time, we will cover the same ground, but focus upon two different themes in the text–humbling ourselves before God, while at the same time learning to cast all of our cares upon him. This will bring our time in 1 Peter to an end.
The Final Exhortations to Christ’s Flock
Peter wraps up his lengthy series of exhortations (imperatives) to suffering Christians–the elect exiles of the Diaspora of Asia Minor–by directing his audience’s focus away from those external circumstances under which Christians are struggling, to internal and pastoral matters. Before extending greetings to several individuals and concluding his letter, Peter addresses those things the churches and their leaders ought to be doing so as to persevere through difficult times. As we saw last time, Peter begins with an exhortation to the elders of the churches receiving this letter. In verses 1-2, he writes, “so I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you . . .” Jesus is the chief shepherd of his church, and he calls church officers (“elders” and ministers) to shepherd his flock as “under-shepherds.”
The reference to Christ’s church as a “flock,” is a metaphor widely used throughout the Old Testament in reference to those instances where sinful individuals are likened to sheep because of the tendency of sheep to wander away from the flock and place themselves in peril. A sheep which is separated from rest of the flock is completely helpless and likely to become an easy meal for any of the common predators in the area–wolves, jackals, coyotes, or even lions. Apart from a shepherd, who leads and protects them, the sheep are lost, they know not where to go, nor what to do.
Another sense in which the metaphor of sheep and flocks is used throughout the Old Testament is in reference to God’s people, Israel, who are often identified as God’s “flock” which requires his care, nurture, and protection. The metaphor of the sheep and shepherd is well-known enough in Israel that in John 10, when Jesus speaks of himself as the “good shepherd” who lays down his life for his sheep, virtually everyone hearing him knows exactly what he means–YHWH was Israel’s shepherd, therefore Jesus is claiming to be one with YHWH.
Elders as Shepherds and Servants
In reminding the elders of the churches in Asia Minor of this very point, Peter stresses that it falls to the elders of the church to protect Christ’s flock from predators, in this case the chief predator, Satan. In verses 8 and 9 Peter informs his readers that the devil prowls like a mortally wounded animal, seeking to devour any helpless Christian who wanders away from the protection of the shepherds of God’s flock. By speaking of the church as “the flock of God” Peter is also reminding the under-shepherds that the flock is not theirs–it is God’s, having been purchased by the shed blood of Jesus. God calls the elders of the church to protect its members from being devoured by the devil–which, as we discussed last time, is likely a reference to Satan using the power of the pagan state to oppress and persecute the people of God.
According to Peter’s charge in verse 3, elders are to shepherd Christ’s flock, “not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” This is a very important and highly practical point in light of the contrast Peter has set out throughout the earlier chapters of his letter between the way in which the Greco-Roman world understands the use of power (governors, masters, cruel spouses), with the way in which Christian citizens, Christian slaves, and Christian spouses are to respond to those who abuse them–in humility, by submitting to lawful authority in imitation of Jesus who came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Following the example of Jesus and serving under his authority as chief shepherd, elders are to view their office as one of service and of bearing witness to Christ–who is the chief shepherd of his church. Elders are not to use their office for personal benefit or to secure gifts and take advantage of the people of God (acting in a domineering way). Elders, when called, are to serve eagerly, and not lord their authority over the members of Christ’s church. Elders are to set good examples to the congregation, not as men who live above sin, but as men who deal with their sins properly, and who do not bring scandal to Christ’s church. In verse 4 Peter reminds those who serve of the great benefit of doing so–“And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.” That God will reward his people when Jesus returns, is one of the characteristic ways the Apostle seeks to give hope to a people in the midst of intense suffering and trials. Elders, too, are to take heart in the knowledge that their difficult duties are not conducted in vain, but are noticed by the chief shepherd, and they will be rewarded by the Lord of the church. Peter’s focus upon eternal life is a point to which we will return momentarily.
God Opposes the Proud, But Gives Grace to the Humble
If elders are to rule Christ’s church as his under-shepherds, then the members of the church are to submit to the elders’ rule. Peter exhorts the younger to submit to the elders in verse 5, when he states “likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders.” This verse can be understood in two ways. The first is taking Peter’s imperative on its face, i.e., that younger people (in age) are to submit to those who are chronologically older–the elders in the church, indicating that church elders were typically older men. Yet, given the way Paul exhorts Timothy not to let people look down on his youth, Peter may be using the older/younger metaphor to mean that those new to the faith (younger) submit to those who have been Christians much longer (elders), and who may not be smarter, but are certainly wiser because of a lifetime of experience with the various issues and trials of life.
At the end of verse 5, Peter reminds this persecuted church that one of the ways in which Christians distinguish themselves from unbelievers is in the fact that Christians are to “clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for `God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” As he does throughout this letter, Peter cites from the Old Testament, in this case from Proverbs 3:34, which is part of a larger section of chapter 3, vv. 21-35 of Proverbs in which the wise parent encourages his son to seek wisdom and to make sound judgments. The idea is that those who are wise will seek righteousness, while those who are wicked behave foolishly.
In this particular case, the contrast is between those who are Christ’s (who have been sanctified by Christ’s blood and set apart to live holy lives) and those Greco-Roman pagans who tend to see humility as a vice, because humility was thought to be the attitude of a slave, not that of a free man who can exercise authority. Once again, Peter’s exhortation to these persecuted Christians is completely counter-cultural. A Christian’s conduct–following the example Jesus set for us of proper humility before all, even before those who hate us–is what sets believers apart from the pagans. We separate ourselves from the unbelievers around us not through visible or cultural distinctives, like a distinctive diet, or in Christian clothing, or even in withdrawing from the world. We distinguish ourselves from the pagans around us by our honorable conduct–in this case we clothe ourselves with humility toward one another because this is right, and this is the example set for us by Jesus.
Proper Conduct–Humility
Our conduct grows out of the fact that in a profound sense Christians are strangers and aliens in this world, because the elect exiles of Asia Minor hold a heavenly citizenship in addition to their Roman citizenship. As citizens of heaven, Christians wholeheartedly strive to submit to God and obey his will. We accept our place in God’s world since we know that we are totally dependent upon God for our very lives, for all that we are, and all that we have. We are supremely dependent upon God for the gift of eternal life freely given to us through faith in the saving work of Jesus Christ, despite the fact that we are sinful rebels who deserve God’s eternal punishment.
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Struggling for Happiness
The struggle for happiness becomes a struggle for the remembrance of the daily help and hope the Lord provides. The patterns of daily worship, or prayer, of fellowship with believers are reminders of our help and hope.
The Psalms present to us a struggle for happiness. So does life.
The Psalter begins, it could be said, with full happiness. Psalm 1:1 reads, “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked”. Blessed may sound at first to some as a purely religious word, something one says when trying to sound spiritual. Others may see blessed as simply a hashtag.
And yet, scholars observe that the word has a more fulsome, present meaning to us, conveyed in the full and wonderful sense of “happy”, a genuine happiness in God Himself.
The Psalter begins with happiness.
The struggle of the Psalter is twofold; so too the struggle of life. First, the life of happiness is confronted with the confusing and overwhelming sorrows that invade any sense of delight. By Psalm 3 in the Psalter enemies surround, sleeplessness invades, and death seems near.
And from there, for much of the Psalter, the chorus of happiness is constantly mixed with the notes of sorrow. Is happiness truly attainable in a suffering world?
The second struggle dovetails with the first and in fact logically precedes it: that of human sin. Even Psalm 3 is set in context of David fleeing Absalom, an incident which served as downstream fruit of David’s erring ways.
The life of those seeking blessing in the Psalter is sinful, often horrifically and repeatedly so. Psalms 89 and 106 end books 3 and 4 of the Psalter, and both reveal the note of what happens to a sinful people.
“He who walks not in the counsel of wicked” may be happy and blessed, but that is not the people of Israel, or you or me for that matter. Sinful people are left in desperation, in exile.
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