Audio Transcript

One of the themes we address on the podcast is retirement and how to not waste the retirement years. We have talked about end-of-life decisions as well, but very little about inheritances and wills. We’ll we do so today, initiated by a really important question that came from an anonymous woman. Here’s what she wrote: “Pastor John, thank you for this podcast! My husband and I are in our seventies, both working and healthy, by God’s kindness. Of course, we’re all terminal, as you know.

“Here’s my question: We own a property valued at nearly two million dollars. Additionally, we own investment properties that will fund our expenses when we can no longer bring in income. My question is about who will inherit our assets when we’re gone. We have three children. One does not follow the Lord, one is a believer who married a spouse who is not very serious about the things of God, and one is disabled with mental illness. Our first two children are materially fine. Currently, I’m inclined to leave the bulk of our assets to Christian ministries and invest in the kingdom of God, with a modest trust fund set up for our third child. How do you navigate this decision? The Bible says, ‘A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children’ (Proverbs 13:22). But I feel an opposite approach would be wiser here. Is it?”

Well, first let me say that I am answering this question right off of our front burner because we too are in our seventies — the same as you. And just a few weeks ago Noël and I sat down with two lawyers, one of our sons, and a financial counselor from a Christian agency and had a big powwow about wills, trusts, and medical directives, to try to get our house in order.

We have been thinking a lot. We got the green light from two of our sons to be willing to function as executors — they don’t call them executors anymore, amazingly. You know why? Because it’s a masculine word. Oh my goodness — personal representative is what they say now. Isn’t that unbelievable? Just unbelievable. All right, okay. That’s another podcast.

So we involved a Christian financial service that we trust to give us good counsel, and Noël and I have spent a lot of time thinking and praying about the issue of inheritance. That’s the first thing to say — it’s right off of our front burner.

Positioned to Bless

The second thing I want to do is give a brief comment about two biblical passages. First is the one you mentioned: “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous” (Proverbs 13:22). I don’t think the point of this proverb is that a good man should, or has a duty to, leave an inheritance to his children and grandchildren, but that in general, a good man has the resources and the ability to do it. The point of this proverb is that his children and grandchildren will experience blessing because they had a good man for a father and a grandfather.

I don’t think it’s a command, but a blessing, because the contrast in the second half of the verse goes like this: “But the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.” In other words, he thinks that — the wicked man, the sinner thinks — he’s accumulating wealth for himself and his heirs, but it’s not going to work out that way.

So, the point seems to be not that every person has a duty to leave an inheritance of any particular kind of material goods, but that the good person is in a position to do so, to bless his heirs, and the unrighteous man is not in a position to bless his heirs in the same way. Or to put it another way, children and grandchildren are blessed to have a righteous father and grandfather. Blessing will flow to them one way or the other, but not so the children of an unrighteous father.

Even that hope, I think, is only a typical proverbial generalization, because we know from the Bible that many ungodly people leave huge inheritances to their children, often to their ruin. For example, Psalm 17:13–14 says, “Deliver my soul . . . from men of the world whose portion is in this life. You fill their womb with treasure; they are satisfied with children, and they leave their abundance to their infants.”

“The righteous are in a position to leave a legacy, financial and otherwise, to their children and grandchildren.”

In other words, often, unrighteous people are very wealthy and leave lots of deadly money for their heirs. So some wicked men have great inheritances, but some righteous men are very poor. Proverbs 28:6: “Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.” So, the point is that proverbs are generalizations, and in general, the righteous are in a position to leave a precious legacy, financial and otherwise, to their children and grandchildren.

Obligated to Save

Now, the other text I wanted to make a comment about — which she didn’t mention, but I think people will mention if they push into the Bible on this — is 2 Corinthians 12:14, where Paul thinks of himself as a parent to his churches and says, “For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.” Now the point, I think, is not about inheritances in that verse, because even if it were, the argument wouldn’t work because of the way he relates to his churches — he’s not going to die in order to be a blessing to the churches.

The point is that parents are to support their children while they are growing up. So, whether we leave inheritances to children, and how much we leave to our children, should be decided, I’m arguing, on the basis of wider biblical teachings rather than on the basis of that proverb or that passage in 2 Corinthians.

Five Factors to Consider

So, let me mention five things that Noël and I have taken into account that might also inform our friend who’s asking this question and maybe some others.

1. Be generous while you’re alive.

Be generous to your children while you are alive and while you can see how they are doing and what their needs are. For example, when my father died and left me some money — left me and my sister some money — Noël and I had a wonderful time taking a picture of my dad from an old photograph, putting it in a card, writing a special little message about his legacy and sending a lot of money to each of our kids. We surprised them with some thousands of dollars because we just didn’t need it. We didn’t need the money that daddy left us.

“While your children are alive, bear witness to the sufficiency of Jesus by being generous to them.”

So the point is, while your children are alive, bear witness to the sufficiency of Jesus by being generous to them according to their real needs rather than waiting for the blessing to come only when you’re gone.

2. Remember the dangers of wealth.

Be aware of the dangers of wealth for yourself and for your children. Jesus said very plainly, “Only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:23). Being rich is not necessarily a blessing. Far more often it is a curse. There are many legacies to leave children that are vastly more important than money. Be aware of that danger.

3. Beware when wealth comes easily.

This is especially true when wealth is gotten easily and quickly — for example, with inheritances. Proverbs 13:11: “Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.” Or Proverbs 20:21: “An inheritance gained hastily in the beginning will not be blessed in the end” — in other words, as the prodigal son got all of his inheritance at once. “Give it to me, Dad.” Dad gives it to him, and he goes off and ruins his life with it. He wastes his whole life until God gets ahold of him. Not only is money dangerous, but money gotten quickly and easily is even more dangerous.

4. Designate actual dollar amounts.

Rather than leaving your entire estate open-ended to all of your offspring, consider picking an actual dollar amount. I’m not counting here actual things like furniture, or books, or some heirloom. I’m just talking about the actual cash, and leave a fixed amount to each son or daughter, and then leave all the rest to Christian ministries that you believe in.

This decision felt very freeing to Noël and me. We tried to decide what the house, and the car, and the saving accounts, if everything were liquidated, would be worth. Then we picked a number that each child would get — I think a significant, generous number, and yet a limited number that isn’t the totality of the estate. Everything else we’re going to leave to the National Christian Foundation. I presume you know about them. They distribute the money according to the way you want. It can go to your church. It can go to Desiring God. It can go to Bethlehem College & Seminary.

The reason it’s so much easier to leave your residual amounts to a foundation like that is because to change your will is difficult if you specify the ministries in your will, whereas I can get on the phone and within a minute change the place that the money will go out from the National Christian Foundation. So just a hint, if you decide to leave large amounts of money to Christian ministries, there’s an easy way to do it without specifying those ministries in your will. I’m sure you’re far ahead of me on that kind of research.

5. Take thought for special needs.

Here’s the last thing: By all means take thought for special needs, especially children or grandchildren with disabilities or other difficulties that would make life harder for them. So special trust accounts and things like that are a beautiful Christian act of love, I think.

So those are the ways, some of them, that Noël and I have thought so far. We don’t claim to be perfect in this. But let me stress in closing, as I’m sure you already know, that vastly more important than any financial legacy is the legacy of biblical truth, and the glorious gospel of Christ, and a life showing the love of Christ.

Audio Transcript

Good Monday morning, and welcome back to the podcast. We have talked recently about the tensions inside a home when a Christian is married to a non-Christian. This dynamic can happen for several reasons, sometimes intentionally. A Christian may sin and knowingly marry a non-Christian. We saw this in APJ 1560. Or two non-Christians marry, and one eventually gets saved. We saw this in APJ 1029. Or two professing Christians get married: one proves their faith over the years, or is genuinely converted, and the other falls away over time. We have seen this dynamic in APJs 680, 1690, and in 1839 just a couple weeks ago.

I don’t know which category fits today. We have limited information. But, Pastor John, six times over the years we have gotten an email from a woman named Rose. Her emails are always the same. They’re always brief. They’re always one sentence, the same sentence — this one: “Pastor John, how do I pray for my husband to be saved?” What would you say to Rose?

Oh, how I wish I could see into Rose’s sorrowful heart and pinpoint where she feels the greatest difficulty in praying for her unbelieving husband. Is it how often she should pray? Is it how to avoid vain repetitions when you’ve been praying the same prayer for years and years — hundreds of times, thousands of times? Is it how to keep on praying after decades of seeing no evident change? Is it particular texts that she’s struggling with and how to apply them? Is it loss of desire, maybe, or loss of hope, or loss of love in her own heart? Is it the cooling of trust in God? Is it practicalities like, “Do I pray out loud? Or do I pray in a closet? Or how many times a day?” Is it whether it dishonors the husband to pray for him in groups, maybe? I’ve had women ask me that. Is it whether to pray for him in his presence? “Can I do that? Can I pray for him in his face?” Is it whether to pray for others to reach out to him or whether to pray directly for his soul? Oh, how I wish I could see where the point is that she is asking about.

But maybe it’s just a heart cry: “Help — anything you can say, Pastor John, that might encourage me or keep me going.” And so, I don’t know the details of her struggle, except that it’s been a long time, evidently, because of her repeated requests.

Hope-Sustaining Sovereignty

And what I like to do is suggest a way of praying for unbelieving loved ones that I have found hopeful. It’s premised (I have to say this; it’s really crucial to say) on the biblical conviction that God is sovereign and, whenever he chooses, he can overcome all resistance and save the hardest sinner. I do not believe that human beings have final veto power over the sovereign will of God.

Some might think that this kind of absolute sovereignty over the human will, which I deeply believe is biblical, would create a sense of fatalism, maybe, or discouragement that God may not choose to save our loved one in the end. But looked at another way, it actually creates hope, this sovereign God. It means God really can save no matter what the unbeliever does or has done. Nothing can stop him.

“God really can save no matter what the unbeliever does or has done. Nothing can stop him.”

This means no amount of passing time, no amount of accumulated sin, no degree of hardness of heart, no sneering antagonism, no public mockery, no angry resistance — nothing can hinder his salvation if God wills to take away the hardness and save. To me, that’s the only hope we have that unbelievers would be saved, because they’re all dead in their trespasses and sins — and dead is dead. There’s nothing I can do. If God doesn’t do it, people perish. I would’ve perished.

Our Generous Father

So, building on this conviction of God’s hope-sustaining sovereignty, I love to pray the promises of God, especially the new-covenant promises of salvation. But before I mention a few of those, I find it encouraging to remind myself — I must do this every week or so from Scripture — that God really does delight to answer the prayers of his children. I need to see that. I need to be reminded of that in his own words. He’s not a begrudging Father.

So for example, I return often to Matthew 7:9–11:

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Or Luke 12:32: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

“God really does delight to answer the prayers of his children.”

Surely Jesus told us these things to encourage us to pray, to remind us that we should think of him this way — a generous Father to his children. He loves to see us pray: a Shepherd eager to bless, a King eager to give to his subjects. And then, with that fresh reminder of God’s eagerness to hear our prayers and answer them, I turn to the promises of the new covenant.

Turning Promises into Prayers

Now, remember that the new covenant, according to Ezekiel 36, is different from the Mosaic covenant because it doesn’t just come with demands from outside; it comes with enablement to do the commands from inside. He says, “I will cause you to walk in my statutes” (Ezekiel 36:27). “I’m not going to just give you statutes — I will cause you to walk in my statutes.” That’s the key of the new covenant. And Jesus said that this new covenant was secured by himself by his own blood. He held up the cup at the Last Supper: “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood” (Luke 22:20). He bought it, and so it is sure.

So here are some of the precious new-covenant promises that I turn into prayers for beloved unbelievers.

‘Become his God.’

Ezekiel 11:19–21:

And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God.

So, pray like this for your husband: “Dear Father, I pray for my precious husband that you would, in your great mercy, bought by the blood of Jesus, take out the heart of stone and give him a tender, soft heart toward you. Put a new spirit in him. Give him a new disposition to love your word and keep it. Become his God. Make him your child.”

‘Circumcise his heart.’

Or here’s another new-covenant promise, from Deuteronomy 30:6. God looks to the day when a prophet like Moses will arise — namely, Jesus — and promises this for his chosen ones:

The Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.

So, you pray, “O Father, none of us loves you first and turns your heart to love us. We can’t love you unless you in your great, free, gracious love first circumcises our hearts. You must cut away the old nature of self-exaltation and self-rule. You did this for me. I didn’t deserve that any more than my husband does. O God, I plead with you, circumcise his heart so that it is set free from resistance to your truth and goodness and beauty. Cause him, O Lord, to love you because of Christ.”

‘Grant him repentance.’

Or think of the instruction and the promise in 2 Timothy 2:24–26. It applies, I think, to all of us who at any time use the word in prayer to try to lead an unbeliever out of darkness. It says this:

The Lord’s servant [now that would be me, that would be this wife] must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

So, we pray, “Father, even though no one deserves to be saved, no one deserves the gift of repentance, no one deserves escape from the devil, nevertheless, you are a God of mercy. I know this because I escaped when I was just as blind and snared in deadness of heart as my husband. Here I am praying, loving you, trusting you — amazing grace in my life! So, you are a God of mercy, and if you will, you can grant repentance, and liberation, and faith, and life. I know you have mercy on whom you have mercy. I know you are free and all-wise, and as your child, I am asking that, for the glory of your grace, you would give repentance to my husband.”

Do Not Lose Heart

And we could go on, of course — on and on, in fact — turning the promises and the works of God into prayers.

We could turn Acts 16:14 into this: “Lord, open his heart like you did Lydia’s.” Or we could turn 2 Corinthians 4:6 into this: “Father, shine into their hearts with the light of the gospel of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” Or we could pray the words of Jesus in Luke 18:27: “Lord Jesus, you said of the conversion of the rich man, ‘What is impossible with man is possible with God.’ So do the impossible, I pray. Convert my husband.”

So, Rose, we are with you in this great work of wrestling in prayer for your beloved unbeliever. Let’s not forget the words of Jesus in Luke 18:1: “always . . . pray and [do] not lose heart.”

Every time we reread a great book, we inevitably get something new out of it. This isn’t because the book changes, but because we do. Meaning is stable, but we grow and mature (at least, we ought to). And as we do, we become attentive to truth in new ways; we have a broader and richer framework that enables us to see more in the books we read (and read again).

This is true even of children’s books. Perhaps especially of children’s books. My appreciation of Narnia, for instance, is no secret. I’ve read the series dozens of times. On my most recent journey through the wardrobe, an important theme in the final book lit up for me in a fresh way. And then my own Bible reading connected with that theme and brought the whole matter home.

“Passions are the impulsive, almost instinctive motions of the soul. They are good, but dangerous.”

The theme is the centrality of the passions in the early chapters of The Last Battle. Passions are the impulsive, almost instinctive motions of the soul. They are good, but dangerous. They are our immediate reactions to reality, such as fear, anxiety, desire, pity, grief, and anger. It’s this last passion that figures prominently in The Last Battle. What happens when our anger, however justified in itself, goes unchecked and becomes rash? And are there any ways to rein it in?

The Rashness of the King

The second chapter opens with King Tirian and his close friend Jewel the Unicorn in a state of reverie over the news that Aslan has returned to Narnia. Aslan’s arrival is the most wonderful news imaginable. Their joy is interrupted, however, by Roonwit the Centaur, who claims that the news of Aslan’s arrival is a lie.

“A lie!” said the King fiercely. “What creature in Narnia or all the world would dare to lie on such a matter?” And, without knowing it, he laid his hand on his sword hilt. (20)

Note the intensity of the King’s reaction. More importantly, notice where that reaction takes him. His hand goes to his sword “without knowing it.” In other words, his impulsive passion moved him to react, apart from the guidance of his mind.

We see the same rashness a few moments later when the Dryad emerges from the forest, crying out for justice over the destruction of the talking trees. When Tirian hears it, he leaps to his feet and draws his sword. There are no enemies present. Nevertheless, the sword is drawn, perhaps again without him fully realizing what he’s doing. His passions are in control.

Anger Invites More Anger

When the Dryad falls to the ground dead, Tirian is speechless in his grief and anger. He then calls Jewel and Roonwit to immediately join him in a journey to put to death the villains who have committed this murder. They are to leave “with all the speed we may.” Jewel concurs, but Roonwit cautions. “Sire, be wary in your just wrath” (22). In your anger, Roonwit says, do not sin. Do not be unwise. Let us wait to gather troops and see the strength of the enemy.

But Tirian will “not wait the tenth part of a second.” His wrath is kindled and steering the ship. He and Jewel set out, with Tirian muttering to himself and clenching his fists. He’s so angry he doesn’t even feel the coldness of the water when they ford a river. His anger has him by the throat and will not let go.

After discovering that Aslan is apparently the one who ordered the felling of the trees, Tirian and Jewel press on toward the danger. The narrator comments,

[Jewel] did not see at the moment how foolish it was for two of them to go on alone; nor did the King. They were too angry to think clearly. But much evil came of their rashness in the end. (25)

This is the issue: they are too angry to think clearly. However righteous their anger at the injustice before them, the rashness of that anger leads to folly. They are impulsively reacting, not intentionally responding, and the results will be great evil and harm.

What Can Check Anger?

We don’t have to wait long for some of that evil to manifest. When the two come upon a talking horse being beaten and whipped by Calormen soldiers, their anger reaches a fever pitch.

When Tirian knew that the Horse was one of his own Narnians, there came over him and over Jewel such a rage that they did not know what they were doing. The King’s sword went up, the Unicorn’s horn went down. They rushed forward together. Next moment, both the Calormenes lay dead, the one beheaded by Tirian’s sword and the other gored through the heart by Jewel’s horn. (27)

“If unchecked and rash anger leads to great folly, evil, and bloodshed, what can check such a passion?”

Over and over, we see the theme of this chapter — from the hand on the sword without knowing it, to being too angry to think clearly, to being so filled with rage that they don’t know what they are doing even as they kill two men. The unchecked rashness of the king has led to great bloodshed.

I’d like to bring the rashness of Tirian into conversation with a story from the Scriptures and ask, If unchecked and rash anger leads to great folly, evil, and bloodshed, what can check such a passion?

The Rashness of the Anointed

The biblical story is a familiar one from the life of David. He is dwelling in the wilderness because he is estranged from King Saul, who is in the grip of the passion of envy. David has twice spared Saul’s life and thereby earned a respite of sorts from Saul’s pursuit. Samuel is dead, and David and his men are in the wilderness of Paran, low on supplies.

David sends some messengers to Nabal, a wealthy man who lives close by. Nabal is preparing a feast, and David asks for favor and supplies. This request is not out of the blue. David and his men have been camped near Nabal’s shepherds. Not only have they refrained from plundering his flocks, but they have actually ensured that no one else does either. David and his men were a wall to Nabal’s flocks by day and night (1 Samuel 25:16). Neither thief nor beast ravaged his flock. It is in light of this protection that David makes his humble request, identifying himself as a son and servant to Nabal (1 Samuel 25:8).

Nabal responds with derision and insults. “Who is David? Who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants these days who are breaking away from their masters” (1 Samuel 25:10–11). In other words, “David, you are an unworthy outlaw, a rebel against the king. And I will not give my bread and my water and my meat to men from who knows where.”

When David hears of the insult, he responds like the last King of Narnia. “Every man strap on his sword!” (1 Samuel 25:13). In his anger, he and his men immediately set out to avenge the insult. And their intentions are clear — every male in Nabal’s house will be killed (1 Samuel 25:22). As with Tirian, here we have the impulsive passion of anger, a rage that is about to lead to great bloodshed and bloodguilt. But unlike Tirian, it’s about to be checked.

How to Appeal to Anger

The check comes in the form of Abigail, Nabal’s wise and discerning wife. Hearing of Nabal’s insult and the evil that is coming to their house, she immediately prepares a lavish gift of food and wine for David and his men. She brings the gifts and falls on her face before David and pleads for his favor.

She takes responsibility. She testifies to her husband’s folly. She gives David the gifts. But most importantly, she makes two fundamental appeals. First, she urges David to refrain from shedding innocent blood and working salvation with his own hand (1 Samuel 25:26). By doing so, he will avoid the grief and pangs of conscience that will come if he brings bloodguilt by his hand or seeks to save himself (1 Samuel 25:31). Second, she reminds David that the Lord will fight for him, that David’s life is “bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord your God” (1 Samuel 25:29).

These appeals check the rashness of the king. They arrest his rage and wrath and vengeance. They enable him to tame the passion of his impulsive anger. David blesses Abigail for her discretion and courage, because she has “kept me this day from bloodguilt and from working salvation with my own hand” (1 Samuel 25:34). And he blesses the Lord who sent her to him and restrained David’s hand from doing great evil by harming Abigail and her husband’s household.

And sure enough, the Lord vindicates David. Ten days later, the Lord strikes Nabal and he dies, avenging the insult against his anointed (1 Samuel 25:39). Not only does David spare himself from working evil, he gains the hand of a wise and discerning wife.

Weapons Against Our Anger

So how might we apply wisdom like Abigail’s in checking our anger today? As we feel the temperature of our souls rising, we stop and remind ourselves — and one another — first, that ungodly anger will only add iniquity to our injury, and second, that the Lord himself has said, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” (Romans 12:19).

These two stories — one fictional and one biblical — issue the same warning: Beware the passions of your flesh. They often wage war against your soul (1 Peter 2:11). In your anger, do not sin (Ephesians 4:26). Remember that the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:20). Instead, entrust yourself to God (1 Peter 4:19). Look to him to fight your battles and to vindicate.

This doesn’t make us passive; the Lord also fought for and with David when he took up his sling against Goliath. That salvation, like the one with Nabal, was wrought by God’s hand, not David’s. But when we act in faith, we do so intentionally and thoughtfully, not reactively or rashly. We trust that our lives are bound in the bundle of the living in the care of our Lord, that we always live between the paws of the true Aslan.