Being absolutely dedicated to defending our own honor has a tendency to diminish it in the eyes of others. We do far better to fight for the honor of others and leave our own up to the Lord. Walking away from a fight, especially a fight that you could win, is the path to honor. This is the proper use of Proverbs 20:3

Within moments of perusing your social media feed you’ll be attuned to the outrage of the day. We live in a world of strife. And yet Proverbs 20:3 tells us:
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife,but every fool will be quarreling.
The word which is translated “keep aloof” is a word that either means to “sit” or “cease”. It either means don’t start the fight in the first place or if you’re in a quarrel walk away from the fight. To “keep aloof” is to stand still.
For those of us who hate confrontation, this is a phenomenal verse to misuse. If I’ve created strife in a relationship this is a good verse to hide behind so as not to deal with the issues which I’ve caused. And if the other person brings it up, I can clobber them with this passage.
It’s also a great verse to encourage passivity in the face of the suffering of others.
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By taking a little time to read the text in question, it becomes obvious the passage isn’t referring to apostates. Rather, when you read the context, you discover that believers were being enticed to serve other gods, which would entail sacrificing children on an altar. Therefore, the passage isn’t about killing apostates, but about punishing people who sacrificed children and enticed others to do the same.

It’s well known that Islam strongly discourages apostasy. Abandon the faith, and you might end up dead. Though many Christians point to this practice as a blight on the Islamic faith, some skeptics claim that Christianity requires a similar punishment for disbelievers (a command allegedly found in Deuteronomy 13:6–10) and, therefore, is just as unjust. This challenge—and how it’s resolved—demonstrates the importance of knowing your theology and proper interpretative principles.
Read the Text
First, it’s always important to read the passage yourself. Don’t assume another person’s interpretation is correct. Here’s the passage in question:
If your brother, your mother’s son, or your son or daughter, or the wife you cherish, or your friend who is as your own soul, entice you secretly, saying, “Let us go and serve other gods” (whom neither you nor your fathers have known, of the gods of the peoples who are around you, near you or far from you, from one end of the earth to the other end), you shall not yield to him or listen to him; and your eye shall not pity him, nor shall you spare or conceal him. But you shall surely kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. So you shall stone him to death because he has sought to seduce you from the Lord your God who brought you out from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. (Deut. 13:6–10)
Upon a cursory reading, there’s no command to kill apostates. An apostate would be a person who was once a Jew but has now abandoned his religion. There’s no indication that someone fell away from their faith. Instead, the passage commands you to stone a person who tries to “entice you secretly” to “go and serve other gods.”
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None of us, if we are honest, does not experience the critique of the Bible. We are chastened for our greed, our lust, our pride, our envy. If we are sensitive, we ought to feel the prick of our consciences as we consider what the Bible has to say about gossip and injustice, about the way we treat others, about legalism and license. The reason, then, that sexuality has become a litmus test for what “camp” you are in has little to do with political leanings, but rather this question of authority.

What is the Bible to you? A collection of helpful stories? A book of ancient wisdom? Do you think it contains God’s word to us?
If that alone is what the Bible is, it is a book worth reading. But it still places us a position of sifting the Bible for what is useful to us and placing us in the position of determining what is true.
There has never been a generation, never a time or place, where Christians haven’t had to come to grips with whether they will bow the knee to the prevailing norms or whether they will trust and serve God alone. And how do we know what God wants? His Word to us. When push comes to shove, when the Bible calls me to believe something or act a certain way, will I believe? Will I obey?
None of us, if we are honest, does not experience the critique of the Bible. We are chastened for our greed, our lust, our pride, our envy. If we are sensitive, we ought to feel the prick of our consciences as we consider what the Bible has to say about gossip and injustice, about the way we treat others, about legalism and license. The reason, then, that sexuality has become a litmus test for what “camp” you are in has little to do with political leanings, but rather this question of authority.
For a project in seminary I met with elders from two different churches: one a prominent mainline church, and the other an evangelical church, and asked them a set of questions. Most significant among the differences in their answers were their responses on what the Bible was. For the elders at the mainline church, they consistently spoke of the Bible with terms like “inspirational” or “beautiful” or “enriching.” All good words to describe the Bible and all true.
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