Somebody does know the trouble I’ve seen. Jesus knows it because he knows it (like he knows everything), and he knows it because he has experienced it. That is why it matters that his name is Immanuel. He is with us that much.

Ten years ago I had a headache specialist who had all the empathy skills of a frozen tuna. Even worse, he rebuked me for my long-term condition. It’s no fun telling an alleged medical healer you’ve had a nonstop, two-decade-long headache (now three), been to many doctors, been tested, scanned, MRI-ed, medicated, dieted, exercised, vitamined, nutritioned, acupunctured, and adjusted up and down and all around, only to have him scold you because you are not trying hard enough.
I appreciate that he tried to fix me. As a patient, that’s mostly what I cared about. But as a flesh-and-blood human being with pulsating pain, I very much wished for something more.
Our Savior Has Been There
God is something more. God the Son, “Immanuel,” is not just a specialist; he is a sympathizer. He never just diagnoses and prescribes; he comes, draws near, feels, and cares. Not a truth merely for those perceived to be especially weak or victimized, this is gospel truth for every single one of us.
For the author of Hebrews the incarnation was profoundly comforting for all believers, precisely for this reason:
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things…[H]e had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God…For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted…For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb. 2:14–18; 4:15–16)
According to Hebrews, our ability to go boldly to the throne of grace is enabled by Jesus’s prior willingness to journey humbly into our valley of grief. The incarnation—which will continue on into eternity—means we have a Savior who’s been there, and has the scars to prove it.
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Shannon seemed to be an eager and vivacious woman trying her best to live up to manmade commands without experiencing a life built on Biblical Truth.  As with so many young men and women who have shared this experience, Shannon has chosen to identify as a victim seeking truth and wisdom from within herself. She sees God, if there is one, is a complete killjoy who wants to squash your dreams and thwart your liberty.  Shannon, now free from this bondage, has begun her crusade to liberate everyone else.

Shannon (Bonne) Harris recently premiered her much-anticipated autobiography The Woman They Wanted: Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife.1 She details her life, first as a young convert, then as a pastor’s wife and homeschooling mom in Sovereign Grace Church, Baltimore (SGM). Shannon tells a heartrending story of decades-long spiritual abuse at the hands of her husband, Josh Harris, her pastor, C. J. Mahaney, and his wife, Carolyn.  But the goal of Shannon’s book is not merely to share her own story. Repeatedly throughout the 244 pages, Shannon beckons her readers to follow her on the path to fulfillment through “looking inside yourself” for wisdom and truth,2 thus deconstructing your faith in Jesus Christ along the way.
Shannon was raised in a secular home; her parents divorced during her middle school years, and she and her brother remained living with their dad while her mom moved across the country to advance her career. Shannon tells of her love of music and theater from a young age and her desire to pursue a life performing on Broadway. It is in preparing to “fulfill her dreams,” a phrase repeated many times throughout her book, that Shannon is introduced to evangelical Christianity as taught and practiced by Sovereign Grace Church (SGM).
Shannon’s story actually began decades earlier as her now ex-husband Josh Harris was growing up in the home of homeschooling pioneers Gregg and Sono Harris.
As a teen, Josh made many self-confessed bad decisions about dating and eventually purposed to approach his relationships with girls in a new way. The result was the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye (1997) that sold over a million copies, landed him on the homeschool convention speaking circuit, and caught the eye of Mahaney. The no-dating message resonated with SGM, and Josh was brought on staff, eventually being mentored to become the lead pastor of the large flagship church. All that was missing was a church-approved courtship and wife.
Enter Shannon
Three years later, Josh published Boy Meets Girl3, detailing his courtship with Shannon and outlining a script for parents and young adults on how to challenge the world’s views of romance. The book was an immediate success, and the back cover shows the cute and perky couple happily married with children.
But all was not well in the Harris marriage. Reminiscent of the familiar story of Princess Diana, she tells us, Shannon paints the tragic picture of a young woman who was told by church authorities what friends to have, what clothes to wear, what music to listen to, when and how to participate in ministry, and how to raise her children. The goal was to make her the SGM version of a godly woman.4 All of these things resulted in more confusion and disappointment as she felt she could never be what was expected of her, all while trying to compete with the church and a broader audience for her husband’s time and attention.
Over the years, loneliness and disillusionment eventually lead to depression and a breakdown. When the SGM scandal exploded, Josh eventually resigned and moved his family 3000 miles cross country to attend a theology school they knew had a reputation for causing a crisis of faith in people. Josh and Shannon were primed for the same experience. In 2018 they announced their divorce and “deconstruction,” declaring they are no longer Christians.
Fast forward to 2023 and The Woman They Wanted.  Either history has been rewritten, or the previously published chronicles of Shannon’s fairytale courtship and model marriage to Josh were lies. Perhaps it is both.
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Most things in the Christian life are not complex. We pray, we tell people that Jesus died for them, we read our Bibles, we fast, we attend church. But though those things are not complex, they are difficult. 

I have a Bible reading plan, four different Bible apps on my phone, the capability to listen to the Bible on audio, and around 7 paper Bibles. And I didn’t read my Bible the day before I started writing this post. Therefore, it would seem that the absence of the Bible in my life came not from a lack of resources, plans, or technology, but rather from a lack of discipline.
I think that this is important to point out, because often, when we moderns have a failure in our life, we tend to attribute it to not having the right tools. Now, tools are helpful, tools definitely can help you towards your goals, but tools without discipline are useless. We tend to think of things as complicated when they are really just hard. You are not gaining weight primarily because your watch doesn’t track your calories, you are gaining weight because you can’t stop eating what you know you should not be eating. Reading a finance blog may be helpful, but you don’t need to read one to realize that you can’t buy something for $120 when you have $100 in the bank.
I remember telling one of my friends what was necessary to be a good small group leader. It boiled down mainly to 1) pray for everyone in your group every day, and 2) call and check up on each one at regular intervals. All you need is a phone and your knees. But I struggled so much to do it simply because I wasn’t disciplined enough. And I think therein lies the secret to why we overcomplicate things so much.
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