We’ve all heard that marriage was designed to make us holy more than to make us happy. And though it’s a bit of a trite phrase that threatens to force a false dichotomy between holiness and happiness, there is a measure of truth to it. At its best, marriage does, indeed, help us grow in holiness. It helps us in our lifelong quest to put sin to death and come alive to righteousness. Aileen and I knew this was true when we got married all those years ago, but as time has passed we’ve been surprised to learn how it’s true.

It had been our assumption that marriage would make us holy because we would essentially be enlisting another person to our cause—a person who would assist us in identifying sin and in helping us put it to death. “This is the will of God: your sanctification,” says Paul, and each of us would be involving ourselves in embracing God’s will for the other.
Certainly there have been times when each of us has helpfully and even formally pointed out where the other has developed patterns of sin and selfishness. There have been times when we have each helped the other fight a particular sin or a general sinfulness. Yet as we look back on the past twenty-three years, we see that this has been relatively rare. It’s not that we don’t see plenty of sin in one another and not that we are firmly opposed to pointing it out. No, it’s more that there is another way that marriage has helped us grow in sanctification—a way in which our efforts are directed at addressing ourselves more than fixing each other.
Each of us has our sins, our imperfections, and our shortcomings. Each of us is pretty well established in who we are and how we behave and each of us is, at 45, pretty unlikely to experience dramatic transformations in this. That’s not to say that we have given up or declared ourselves as holy as we can ever be. Far from it! But at this point we are assuming that the sins that dog us today will probably continue to dog us to the end—though hopefully with diminishing strength. And this means that the sin we have each had to tolerate in the other is sin we will likely need to tolerate for however many more years the Lord gives us. So while Aileen may grow in holiness by having me confront her in her sins, she seems to grow more in holiness by patiently tolerating my sinfulness—by loving me despite my sin and loving me as the Lord helps me progressively put that sin to death.
Then, while each of us has our sins, each of us also has our quirks, our preferences, our idiosyncrasies, our annoyances. And just like we assume that the sins that have dogged each of us through the first twenty-three will dog us for the next twenty-three, we assume that the things that just plain annoy us about one another today are likely to persist as well. And let’s be honest—it is often harder to tolerate a bad habit than a bad sin. It is often harder to tolerate the way your spouse chews his food or leaves her clothes on the ground than the way he sins against you or the way she remains unsanctified. And again, while Aileen might grow in her sanctification by having me formally point out a way in which she is sinful, she seems to grow more in sanctification by learning to accept and perhaps even embrace some of those non-moral but oh-so-annoying things I do—those eccentricities and matters of preference.
So perhaps the foremost way that marriage has helped make us holy is not so much in calling each of us to serve as the other’s second conscience, a junior assistant to the Holy Spirit in bringing conviction of sin. It is not in calling each of us to be a kind of moral sandpaper to actively scour off each other’s rough edges. Rather, marriage has helped make us holy by calling each of us to extend a kind of divine mercy toward the other—to simply live lovingly with someone who is prone to be sinful and irritating.
In marriage, God allows us to see one another as we really are, then to accept one another as we really are—as holistic human beings who are a mixture of holy and depraved, grownup and immature, wonderful and almost unbelievably annoying. Marriage makes us holy not just in compelling us to identify and confront sin in the other, but also in calling us to bear patiently with another person’s sin, preferences, and bad habits. In other words, marriage makes us holy in the way it calls us to be like God in overlooking offenses, in imparting mercy, in extending forgiveness, in displaying compassion, in refusing to be petty. Thus, the great sanctifying challenge of marriage is not so much to fix one another, as to imitate Christ.

This week’s post is sponsored by The Master’s Academy International (TMAI), a global network of pastoral training centers that specialize in expository preaching. They invite you to sign up for their 2024 International Symposium on March 5th in Los Angeles, California.
Our world today is obsessed with what is new, clever, and convenient. Headlines, podcasts, and books are full of new gadgets, “life hacks”, and promises of ease with unique methods. The passion for this has revealed our culture’s esteem for what is modern, what is convenient, and what is easy.
Christians are not immune to this preoccupation with production. New methods and contrary advice—all touted as “more effective”—have crowded nearly every topic, particularly in the realm of global missions.
In 2024—with more knowledge and resources available to us than any time in human history—many Christians find themselves at a loss when considering what is truly needed for missions work, which components are necessary, which programs most effective.
Churches desiring to obey Christ’s call to missions work (Matthew 28:18-20) are confronted by different voices and methodologies, and many do not know who to listen to or where to start.
Where do they begin? Where should Christians who desire for all the nations to hear and proclaim the name Jesus Christ go to find the most effective tool, program, or method for international missions?
The answer to this question is clear: the Bible is effective in and of itself for all missions work.
The Inextricable Link Between the Bible and Missions
God has given the perfect, inerrant, and sufficient tool for missions in the Bible.
No book, program, podcast, template, emphasis, or example will ever surpass the relevance, sufficiency, and authority of Scripture. And if you’re looking to shepherd your church towards greater maturity and missions-mindedness, we want to help you see Scripture as the only tool a missionary needs.
This is why you’re invited to join us at the 2024 International Symposium on March 5th, where we’ll enjoy keynote messages from Mark Tatlock, Steven Lawson, and more.
You cannot have God-honoring and truly effective missions work that isn’t directly derived from the Bible.Share
The truth of Scripture’s sufficiency is timeless and immutable, yet it is being set aside for what is more convenient under the guise of “innovation.” However, there will always be an inextricable link between the Bible and missions. You cannot have God-honoring and truly effective missions work that isn’t directly derived from the Bible.
Missionaries of the past have demonstrated an unwavering commitment to Scripture, and the effectiveness of this commitment is seen in their legacies today.
Long, Lasting Legacies
William Carey (1761–1834), Adoniram Judson (1788–1850), and Elisabeth Elliot (1926–2015) dedicated their lives to the translation of the Bible into the native languages of the people they served and evangelized to. They recognized that the Bible is central to all missions work. Other resources are only so helpful to the degree that they help someone better understand and love Scripture.
The effectiveness of their commitment is seen in the salvation of whole people groups and millions proclaiming Christ to this day.
Yet it is easy to slip into the thinking that one needs more to be an effective missionary, that outside resources will answer questions and provide help that the Bible cannot.
As Martin Luther wrote, “The authority of Scripture is greater than the comprehension of the whole of man’s reason.”
We want to help churches and individuals recognize the unlimited, sufficient resource the Bible is for missionaries, supporting missions, and all of life.
To help your church become more Bible-focused and missions-minded, join us Tuesday, March 5: https://bit.ly/48oJhNK

May the Lord be with you and bless you today.

Westminster Books has a deal on an interesting new academic-level book.
Today’s Kindle deals include a few interesting titles.
The Elephant’s Trunk (Video)
This is a really neat video about the elephant’s trunk—a masterpiece of design.
Problems with Preferred Pronouns
“All we’re being asked to do is change one word. It’s a simple request. Just use a different pronoun. It might seem like a no-brainer for a believer to comply. Why cause unnecessary tension by refusing a request to be courteous?” Alan Shlemon gives a list of problems with ceding to preferred pronouns.
What Happened to the God-fearing Leaders?
In Leading from the Foundation Up, David Cook and Shane Parker offer the only book focused on Christian leadership philosophy and practice rooted in reverential awe. (Sponsored Link)
Delighting in the Trinity
“Love for others, then, cannot go very deep in them if they can go for eternity without it. And so, not being essentially loving, such gods are inevitably less than lovely. They may demand our worship, but they cannot win our hearts. They must be served with gritted teeth. How wonderfully different it is with the triune God.”
Not afraid of bad news
Here’s an explanation of how the righteous do not need to be afraid of bad news.
To Confront or Not to Confront? That Is the Question
“In everyday life, there are interactions with loved ones that are difficult. Issues of life that are impacted by personal sin and hardships create tension in relationships and could directly harm others. The question often asked is, ‘Should I confront this issue or overlook it?’ That is a good question, and as we look to the Bible for God’s revelation on the issue, there seems to be visible tension on how to answer it.”
The Inefficient Church
“I’m all for certain kinds of efficiency. I just placed an online order to save a trip to the store. But I’m for the right kind of inefficiency: the inefficiency of caring enough to slow down and treat people like people, to know their names, and to actually care.” But ministry can’t be efficient…
Flashback: The King Is Within Earshot
If you would simply consider how much God loves that other person, you would never speak ill of him. If you would consider the work God has accomplished for that person and in that person, you would only ever speak words that esteem him.

The righteous are those who are willing to disadvantage themselves for the advantage of others, the wicked are those who are willing to advantage themselves at the disadvantage of others. —Bruce Waltke