Christian husbands are given a particular responsibility—they are to love their wives in such a way that they help them become more like Christ. As Chad and Emily Van Dixhoorn express it in Gospel-Shaped Marriage, “husbands are to love their wives in a Christlike way and to help promote the purposes of Christ, in a Christlike fashion, for the good of their own wives. The love of Christ for his bride—a bride made up of sinful men and women—offers the model disposition that a husband ought to have for his wife, the orientation that should inform all of his thoughts, words, and actions.”

But many of us go about this in a way that is unfair, unwarranted, and ultimately unhelpful. “At their most unimaginative moments, husbands try to help spouses be like Christ’s perfected bride by identifying their wives’ faults with clinical precision.” But there is a better way. The Van Dixhoorns offer some diagnostic questions that will better guide a husband to truly helping his wife:

Are you loving her with all that you are and all that you have? In other words, do you, like Christ, love your wife deeply, sacrificially, purposefully, and faithfully?
Are you praying for her and studying your spouse so that you can pray for her better?
What is your aim in your prayers? Is your prayer really for her? Or for you? What answers to your prayers can be seen?
Are you leading devotions that profit her? Are you trying to study the Bible and Christian doctrine so that what you say will be thoughtful and useful?
Does she know that you love her? Or does every moment with you feel like a teaching or improving moment for her?
Do you ensure that she has time to study God’s word herself or with friends?

You should read Gospel-Shaped Marriage to learn more about how a husband can best love his wife (and, of course, vice versa).

My gratitude goes to Children’s Hunger Fund for sponsoring the blog this week. CHF is a nonprofit that serves in 31 countries and seeks to “deliver hope to suffering children by equipping local churches for gospel-centered mercy ministry.”

Westminster Books has lots of deals on books for kids.
Today’s Kindle deals include several good options for collectors. Also, I will have more to say about this next week, but collectors of commentaries will want to know that Eerdmans has all of theirs on sale at an 80% discount in the Kindle editions. That includes the excellent New International Commentary on the Old Testament, New International Commentary on the New Testament, New International Greek Testament Commentary, and the Pillar New Testament Commentary. They have had some trouble getting the prices to change, but most have made the jump. You may need to click on the individual volumes rather than look at the listings to see the price changes. This pricing applies to Kindle US only.
(Yesterday on the blog: You Are Still a Mother)
Why the Post-Christian West Is Eagerly Pursuing ‘Skynet’-Level AI
Akos Balogh asks an important question: “Where is the push for Skynet level AI coming from?” Who is so obsessed with creating that kind of AI and what is the rationale?
A Trial Lawyer Answers the Most Searched Questions About the Criminal Justice System (Video)
In this video, Matthew Martens answers some common questions about the criminal justice system in the US.
Keith Green: A Christian Singer Who Changed My Life
I really appreciated this little tribute to Keith Green whose music made a big impact on my life, too.
Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence (Video)
I think you’ll enjoy this new rendition of “Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence” from the Gettys.
Any Unchecked Sin Is Ruinous
Justin Huffman: “I was thinking this past week about cases where a person who has been a professed believer, maybe even a well-known Christian leader, falls into public sin or even apostasy, walking away from the Christian faith. Sadly, there have been many such cases in the news lately.”
Simple Ways to Encourage Different Cultural Expressions in Church
Stephen offers some helpful ways to encourage different cultural expressions in a local church. “In a multicultural church, it can be easy to let the dominant culture dominate everything. it is especially hard when your elders are drawn from the same culture but are called to care for people from a variety of different cultures. That isn’t always a result of cultural expectations and filters stopping us recognising minority culture leaders so much as there simply not always being – for a variety of reasons – people from minority cultures gifted to the church as elders even though the church might dearly love to appoint some.”
Flashback: Mind Your Christmas Imperatives
The sure path to ruining Christmas is to make it an obligatory holiday or a mark of Christian maturity.

…when we cling to a grudge, we live within a dungeon of our own construction; we are trapped in the bondage of our own unforgiving hearts. —Alistair Begg

As I followed a country trail that winds its way across the vast expanse of Southern Ontario, I came to a river crossing and sat in the shade for a time to rest and to catch my bearings. A man soon happened by and, after we exchanged polite greetings, he told a curious tale.

He explained that he owns a nearby farm and that one of his sheep and one of his pigs had recently escaped. Together they had found a weak rail in the fence and had pressed upon it until it broken under their weight. Seeing their opportunity, they quickly bolted from the field and began to explore their new and unfamiliar surroundings.
It did not take long for the farmer to notice that two of his animals were missing and to set out to find them. He came across the broken-down section of fence and launched his search efforts from that area. But the animals had wandered far and had not left much of a trail behind them. Day soon turned to night and after resting fitfully, he resumed his search in the morning. The animals had now been gone for more than 24 hours and he began to wonder what could possibly have happened to them.
It was in the afternoon of the second day that he began to hear a distant bleating, the sound of his sheep crying out. He listened carefully, then began to follow the sound as it led toward a nearby bog. And it was there that he found his missing sheep and his missing pig. Both had fallen into a deep ditch, both had become coated in muck, both were unable to scramble out. But where the pig had been content to wallow in the mud, the sheep had known to bleat pathetically until the farmer had come to rescue it, to lift it out, and to cleanse it.
Then, said the farmer, “If you are ever deceived into a sin and overtaken by a weakness, don’t lose heart. Go at once to your compassionate Savior. Tell Him in the simplest words the story of your fall and the sorrow you feel. Ask Him to wash you at once and to restore your soul, and, while you are asking, believe that it is done. For if a sheep and a sow fall into a ditch, the sow wallows in it, but the sheep bleats pathetically until she is cleansed by her master. Be the sheep, my friend, and not the pig.”

Inspired by Light on Life’s Duties by F.B. Meyer.