A Verse for Marriage
When a man and a wife try to outdo one another in showing honor, the amazing thing is that both end up honored. And this is what the gospel does. The gospel transforms us. It causes us to think less of ourselves and more of others. Jesus says, “the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve.” (Matt 20:28). Even so, those who have come to know and love the Lord also seek to serve.
My wife and I have a competition. We are not normally competitive people, but we’ve been trying to outdo one another ever since we’ve been married. I’ll be honest; sometimes I win, and sometimes she wins. We find ourselves competing in the morning, in the evening, and even at night. I’m trying to outdo her while I’m at work, and she’s trying to outdo me when I’m at home. Honestly, we are always trying to win this competition. Even on holidays you can find my wife and I steadily trying to outdo one another. Now, before you tell me to cool my jets, let me tell you about the competition.
We got into this competition by reading the book of Romans, and when we got married, this became our marriage verse. Right after Paul spent 11 chapters really digging into the glorious gospel, he begins to unpack how we can live in light of that good news. God through Paul begins to show His people what it is to be a living sacrifice in light of the mercies of God. And in this list of instructions we are given a holy competition to participate in. He tells his people to, “outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom 12:10).
That’s right.
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Whatever Happened to Repentance?
Jesus didn’t come just to save us from the penalty for our sins; He came to save us from our sins—now, today, if we will only respond to the challenge and let Him. A nation of grownup Christians, courageous, confident, humble, and holy, would be more compelling than any smiley-face ad campaign. The Lord does not love us for our good parts and pass over the rest. He died for the bad parts and will not rest until they are put right. We must stop thinking of God as infinitely indulgent.
Forget what the Billboard charts say—to judge from church ads in the Yellow Pages, America’s favorite song is “I’m Mr. Lonely.” Churches are quick to spot that need and promise eagerly that they will be friendly, or be family, or just care. Apparently this is the Church’s principal product. When people need tires, they look up a tire store; when they start having those bad-sad-mad feelings, they shop for a church.
Here, for once, denominational and political divisions vanish. Churches across the spectrum compete to display their capacity for caring, though each has its own way of making the pitch. The Tabernacle, a “spirit-filled, multi-cultured church,” pleads, “Come let us love you,” while the Bible Way Temple is more formal, if not downright odd: “A church where no stranger need feel strangely.” (The only response that comes to mind is “Thank thee.”) One church sign in South Carolina announced, “Where Jesus is Lord and everybody is special,” which made it sound like second prize. And one Methodist congregation tries to get it all in: “A Christ-centered church where you can make new friends and form lasting relationships with people who care about you.”
But when Jesus preached, He did not spend a lot of time on “caring.” The first time we see Him, in the first Gospel, the first instruction He gives is “Repent” (Mark 1:15). From then on, it’s His most consistent message. Yes, He spoke words of comfort like “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden” (Matt. 11:28). But much more frequently He challenged His hearers, urging them to turn to God in humility and admit their sins. Even when told of a tragedy that caused many deaths, He repeated this difficult theme: “Unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:1-5).
We love the caring sayings of Jesus. We repeat them often, paste them onto felt banners, and print them on refrigerator magnets. We mostly ignore those on repentance.
We live in a time when it’s hard to talk about Christian faith at all, much less awkward topics like repentance. (No era finds repentance easy, but many have found it easier to talk about.) Paradoxically, we live in a very easy time. We are the wealthiest, healthiest, most comfortable generation in history. With less to struggle for, we become increasingly oriented toward pleasure. This all-too-natural inclination is what most unites us. America is a place of wild diversity, but we all meet at the shopping mall.
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Justice And The End Of All Things
In all of this we see that sometimes justice comes about quickly. Sometimes justice is delayed. And sometimes justice never seems to come at all – in this life at least. When it seems like great injustice is happening and is never being rectified, that can be a very grievous thing to go through. God’s people of course see this occurring all the time and often all they can do is cry out, “How Long O Lord? When will we see some justice?” The Bible speaks to this often. Indeed, the entirety of Scripture informs us that our God is a God of justice. We see him carrying out justice in the here and now, and we read about justice that is forthcoming.
Today justice is not always found, but full justice IS coming:
A million times a day there are acts of injustice taking place, be they greater or lesser acts. Most people have an innate dislike of injustice, and a strong desire for justice. Here I want to simply offer four examples of injustice: two recent and two ancient – some of which are followed by justice. I will then look at how the book of Revelation speaks to all this.
The first case involves a Christian in Ireland who was jailed. He was not involved in theft or sexual abuse of students. No, much worse, he refused to go along with the woke pronoun nonsense. And for that he had been jailed for several months and was set to miss out on Christmas. Talk about gross injustice and gross idiocy on the part of the authorities. One report says this:
“A teacher in Ireland has been suspended from work and then jailed for contempt of court after he refused to use the correct pronouns to address a transgender student. Enoch Burke was arrested on Monday for violating a court order barring him from teaching at Wilson’s Hospital School in Westmeath, or even being present there.” nypost.com/2022/09/06/teacher-enoch-burke-jailed-over-trans-pronouns-flap/
But a court has just allowed his release, so he was able to be with family to celebrate Christmas. Finally, a bit of justice: “A teacher who was jailed for ignoring a court order has been released from prison after a ruling by the High Court. Enoch Burke was jailed in September for breaching an order which prevents him from attending the school where he works.” www.bbc.com/news/articles/cn3z8x0vvk2o
Another recent case, also from Europe, involves a woman arrested for praying outside of an abortion mill: “The thing could seem implausible or grotesque, but one does not trifle with the law. Thus, a woman was arrested and charged with ‘mental prayer’ at an abortion clinic. Isabel Vaughan-Spruce is the director of March for Life in the UK and a volunteer supporting women in difficult pregnancy situations. She was arrested by police at an abortion clinic in Birmingham. She was later charged with four counts after telling police she was ‘maybe’ praying silently when asked why she was standing on a public road near an abortion center.” fsspx.news/en/news-events/news/uk-it-forbidden-silently-pray-certain-places-78890
Although released on bail, this sort of thing should never have happened. We really are at the end of civilisation as we know it when silent prayer is deemed to be a crime by the godless state, and those involved in it can be arrested and jailed. Where is the justice?
A third case also involves the powers that be committing great injustice to those who could not easily stand up for themselves. It took place thousands of years ago and is recorded in the Bible. I refer to a story found in 1 Kings 21 concerning the evil King Ahab and Queen Jezebel. You know the story.
Ahab lusted after Naboth’s vineyard, and was bummed out about not being able to have it. Jezebel chewed him out: ‘Hey, who is king around here? Leave it to me – I will get it for you.’ She gets some worthless fellows to bear false witness against Naboth. He is declared guilty and killed, and Ahab gets his coveted vineyard. Talk about deplorable injustice. But the prophet Elijah quickly condemns the king and tells him justice is coming. And that it does: we read about Ahab’s death in the next chapter.
My fourth case is also very familiar, and it involves a good King – David. We all know how lust got the better of him, and he committed adultery with Bathsheba. He then had her husband killed to cover up his crime. Those are some very ugly and unjust actions indeed. But the prophet Nathan quickly appears on the scene to call him out. He tells David a story which enrages David and his sense of justice. But then Nathan tells him: “You are the man!” See 2 Samuel 11-12 for the full story.
Obviously much bigger and badder examples of injustice can be mentioned, including the Holodomor in Ukraine in the 1930s and the Holocaust in the 1940s – both of which resulted in the deaths of millions of people. So whether on a massive scale or on a smaller scale, injustice is always happening.
In all of this we see that sometimes justice comes about quickly. Sometimes justice is delayed. And sometimes justice never seems to come at all – in this life at least. When it seems like great injustice is happening and is never being rectified, that can be a very grievous thing to go through.
God’s people of course see this occurring all the time and often all they can do is cry out, “How Long O Lord? When will we see some justice?” The Bible speaks to this often. Indeed, the entirety of Scripture informs us that our God is a God of justice. We see him carrying out justice in the here and now, and we read about justice that is forthcoming.
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She Trusted in Him Till the End
In one of our many meetings with the oncologist he said how amazed he was at how strong, positive and resilient she was, and how she was holding up so well. Averil immediately replied: “It is not me, but my faith”. And by that she did not mean faith in faith or faith in herself, but faith in her Lord Jesus Christ.
Yesterday was a busy day as we said farewell to Averil Ann Muehlenberg. It featured the noon burial at the cemetery with the immediate family, and then the public church funeral service held later in the afternoon. My wife got a special sendoff yesterday. A million thanks to everyone who was involved. The problem is, how do you properly pay tribute to someone in a 90-minute service?
That was the dilemma for all of us. In my case, I was married to her for 41 ½ years out of my 70 ½ years – and had known her around 44 years all up. So my ten-minute talk was quite selective. The whole service can be seen online if you missed it, and you can hear the words and thoughts of all the others involved: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi7pN2gZqPI
Here, if you don’t mind, I will share a bit about what I tried to say in my short reflection in case you have not yet seen it but are interested.
I began by thanking various folks. That included Anita who had set up a Christian crowd-funding site so early on when we learned that a new immunotherapy that might help would cost us $60,000. But within two weeks all that money came in! That shows how much people cared about Averil – and myself.
And the chief person to thank of course was God himself: for weeks now the weather has been quite cloudy and/or rainy – as it is again today. But Monday was a perfectly sunny day with blue skies everywhere, and even rather mild temperatures. Thank you Lord for that amazing weather. We even brought Jilly dog along to the burial at the cemetery.
I then spoke about how her life was characterised by trust – trust in God through Christ. Here are a few great biblical passages on this (the four starred verses are the ones I used in the service, and are especially important):
Job 13:15 Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him
Psalm 13:5 I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
*Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
*Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.
Psalm 115:11 You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield.
Psalm 125:1 Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
*Isaiah 26:4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.
Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.
*Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble; And He knows those who trust in Him.
I then ran through a dozen photos of her and us.
I then offered two words of testimony. The first came around six months ago. In one of our many meetings with the oncologist he said how amazed he was at how strong, positive and resilient she was, and how she was holding up so well. Averil immediately replied: “It is not me, but my faith”. And by that she did not mean faith in faith or faith in herself, but faith in her Lord Jesus Christ.
The second testimony involved a Christian nurse who was with her when she was in one of the hospitals. Averil always asked about the staff, learned their names, inquired about their well-being, and so on. I mentioned this in the social media a while back, and a few days later this nurse made this comment:
“I can attest that Averil had an enormous impact on those who cared for her. Her graciousness, gratefulness and peace (beyond understanding) profoundly affected the staff in a way that I haven’t seen before. Caring for her was a privilege I cannot express adequately. I will be forever thankful to have been there for that small part of her journey home.” Nurse Michelle Louise
I then featured two quotes. The first comes from Dr James Dobson and his book, When God Doesn’t Make Sense:
In my first film series, “Focus on the Family,” I shared a story about a 5-year-old African-American boy who will never be forgotten by those who knew him. A nurse with whom I worked, Gracie Schaeffler, took care of this lad during the latter days of his life. He was dying of lung cancer, which is a terrifying disease in its final stages. The lungs fill with fluid, and the patient is unable to breathe. It is terribly claustrophobic, especially for a small child.
This little boy had a Christian mother who loved him and stayed by his side through the long ordeal. She cradled him on her lap and talked softly about the Lord. Instinctively, the woman was preparing her son for the final hours to come. Gracie told me that she entered his room one day as death approached, and she heard this lad talking about hearing bells. “The bells are ringing, Mommie,” he said. “I can hear them.”
Gracie thought he was hallucinating because he was already slipping away. She left and returned a few minutes later and again heard him talking about hearing bells ringing. The nurse said to his mother, “I’m sure you know your baby is hearing things that aren’t there. He is hallucinating because of the sickness.”
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