Until the land was expropriated to make way for new developments, Oakville was home to an exceptional tropical fish store. At its center was a massive circular aquarium filled with sharks and other predatory fish, and once each week the employees would host a feeding frenzy that was open to the public. One of them would climb a ladder to the top of the tank and begin to toss pieces of meat to the creatures lurking below. No sooner did the flesh hit the surface and the blood begin to seep into the water, than the sharks went mad, thrashing, circling, fighting over the bits. Rarely did a piece make it all the way to the bottom before two, three, or four sharks were battling over it, shredding it, gobbling it down.

They could almost have been us—people who so often delight to tear one another apart, to focus on flaws more than virtues, to be critical rather than encouraging, harsh rather than tender, vindictive rather than merciful.
I recently found myself studying the Parable of the Good Samaritan and marveling at its example of mercy. Because that particular example is bound to a certain setting and context, I spent some time pondering the ways in which it is applicable to today—the ways in which in teaches people like you and me to show divine mercy rather than human ruthlessness. Let me offer a few.
We can show mercy toward people’s suffering. This is the most obvious category and the one that Jesus spoke of in his parable. As we see people in need—people who are destitute or downcast or sorrowing or suffering—it is right and good to feel compassion and to then act in love toward them. Like the priest, Levite, and Samaritan, we will just be going through life and in God’s providence he will provide opportunities where we see people who have some kind of want or some kind of need. And in those moments we ought to feel compassion for them and then be eager to extend mercy, perhaps in the form of comfort or a meal or a helping hand or money. There is infinite need in this world and, therefore, an infinite number of ways we can show mercy to those who suffer.
We can show mercy toward people’s souls. As we encounter people who don’t know Jesus, we can extend mercy by tending to their spiritual needs, which usually means alerting them to their spiritual need. Far more people know their financial poverty than their spiritual poverty. Don’t we feel a deep compassion toward those who do not know Jesus and who don’t even know that they need him? Don’t we have concern for them? Then we need to tell them about Jesus! We need to tell them about the perilous state of their souls! The duty of evangelism flows out of pity for those who do not know the God who is so merciful toward sinners.
We can show mercy toward people’s reputations. Solomon says “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches,” but we sometimes find such delight in destroying a person’s name and lowering their reputation all the way to the gutter. Compassion calls us to feel the harm that is being done to them by having their reputation destroyed. We can show mercy by speaking well of people instead of speaking ill; we can show mercy by refusing to pass along gossip; we can show mercy by choosing to look for evidences of grace in a person rather than evidences of sinfulness; we can show mercy by refusing to share information that is unproven or just plain unnecessary. We can be merciful where others are being brutal and have compassion upon others by protecting and enhancing their good name. (For more on this see here.)
We can show mercy toward people’s weaknesses. God calls us to share the world, to share our homes, and to share our churches with people who are weak. Even setting aside their sinfulness, they are still beset by weaknesses. And we ought to be gentle and patient and merciful in those weaknesses. Wives should be merciful with their husband’s annoying habits; husbands should be merciful with their wife’s irritating foibles; Christians should patiently bear with church members who differ with them on matters of conscience or who have little knowledge of how to honor God or little understanding of the freedom the gospel offers us. Compassion calls us to feel love for them rather than apathy or frustration or hatred. It calls us to bear with them rather than rebuke them. It calls us to joyfully show mercy to them.
We can have mercy toward people’s sins. We will inevitably see people behave in sinful ways and sometimes even see them sin against us. And while our first thought is usually outrage and vindication, perhaps our first thought ought to be pity—to feel compassion for them in their sin, compassion that they are sinners. Sometimes mercy is overlooking an offense, simply setting it aside as if it never happened. The Bible says “it’s the glory of a man to overlook an offense”—to just leave it between that person and the Lord. Sometimes mercy is confronting an offense and in love helping people escape sinful habits and patterns that will lead them to destruction. Sometimes a situation truly does call for the full measure of justice. But I hope that our first instinct is toward mercy—to be merciful toward our fellow sinners.
So, my friend, be merciful toward those who are suffering, merciful toward those whose souls are in peril, merciful toward reputations, merciful toward the weak, and merciful toward sinners. This will sometimes call us to do what comes unnaturally and with difficulty, but we can have full confidence that we actually can do it for this reason: God asks us to do no more than he has already done—to extend mercy to those who are in desperate need.

It can be awkward to reach out to those who are deep in grief. It can be hard to know what to say and easy to believe that our words are more likely to offend than comfort, to make a situation worse rather than better. We sense that our words ought to be few, but also that the worst thing to say is nothing at all.

I recently consulted with a few other parents who have experienced the loss of a child and want to offer a few things you can say to grieving parents that may prove an encouragement to them—a flicker of light in their time of deep darkness. These phrases may be helpful to people experiencing other forms of grief, but I offer them particularly for those grieving the loss of a child.
“I am praying for you.” This is the one thing every person can do and the one thing that is simplest to say. When a family has experienced a deep loss, you can intercede for them and then, as a means of encouragement, simply let them know that you have been doing so. You may even tell them how you have been praying for them—perhaps what Scriptures you have been praying on their behalf. One word from the Word is worth a thousand from anywhere else.
“I will never grow tired of your grief.” A deep loss is very nearly all-consuming. For weeks and even months it can completely dominate a life. The one who is experiencing the grief may soon begin to fear becoming an annoyance to others—to fear they will wonder why he or she isn’t yet over it. It is a tremendous blessing, then, to have one or two trusted friends offer this assurance: “I will never grow tired of your grief.” This makes those friends a safe harbor for expressing sorrow, whether weeks, months, or even years later. It blesses the sufferer to know they will always have someone who will listen patiently as they pour out their broken hearts.
“I’ll stick with you all the way.” Many well-wishers will express condolences in the early days, but few will continue to be present and available weeks, months, or years later. This is completely understandable, of course. Yet there is a place for a small number of close friends to say, “I’ll stick with you all the way.” This is an agreement that they will continue to be available and continue to initiate good conversations in the latter days as much as the early days. These people may want to schedule regular meetings and check-ins—perhaps breakfast or coffee every couple of weeks at first, then with the gap widening as time passes. These people will want to ensure they live up to their word and truly do stick with their friends all the way.
“Text me any time and say only, ‘I’m having a bad day.’” On days of deep grief, it can be difficult for a grieving parent to reach out for help because it would be too overwhelming to have to offer explanations and answer questions. There is freedom in being able to text someone to say only “I’m having a bad day” with no further explanation and no follow-up interrogation. This is an invitation not to have the other person call and counsel, but simply to stop and pray. That person can be a tremendous encouragement by replying with nothing more than this: “I’ll pray for you right now.”
“Dinner is on me.” When people are deep in grief, little things can become big things. Mourners carry a heavy burden of spiritual and emotional trauma that makes even tasks as simple as preparing meals onerous or very nearly impossible. One of the most helpful things you can do is provide food—whether dropping off a meal (preferably hot and ready-to-eat at dinner time), ordering one through UberEats or SkiptheDishes, or sending along gift cards. This fulfills one of those essential tasks and takes it out of the hands of the one experiencing such difficulty. (Alternatively or additionally, if you are at the grocery store, text and ask, “I’m at the store, is there anything I can pick up for you?”)
“One of my favorite memories is…” A fear of all parents who have lost a child is that their child will be forgotten (which would, in turn, make them feel like their child’s life didn’t matter). For this reason, sharing favorite memories is often a means of encouragement. Most parents long to know those stories and to laugh and cry as they hear them.
“I am thinking of you today.” After the initial days, weeks, and months following a loss, grief tends to reassert itself on occasions and anniversaries. It can be an expression of love and care to get in touch with the family on the birthday of the child who died as well as on the anniversary of his death. If relevant, it may also be a blessing to be in touch on the day he would have been married or would have graduated, and so on. This is perhaps especially important in the first year—the year of so many firsts.
“What can I do for your kids?” The death of a child impacts the entire family, including older and younger siblings. It may be extremely helpful for friends to step in to babysit younger children and to spend time with or even informally counsel older children. Little gifts or tokens of love for the kids may prove a blessing.
“May I pay my respects?” For many families, it is a sign of love and respect for friends to visit the grave of their loved one. Some may prefer to be there when their friends visit and others will be encouraged simply to know that their friends took the time. But, either way, the family may be blessed to know you have visited the grave and paid your respects.
(A word about cemetery etiquette: You can simply stand quietly at a graveside to remember the deceased or to pray and thank God for the person’s life and ask him to bless the grieving family. Though it is not at all necessary, it may be meaningful to take flowers and simply lay them at the grave. Some cemeteries have strict regulations about what can be brought and left, others have no regulations at all. If you visit on your own, the family may be encouraged to know you visited, so consider telling them.)

May you know the Lord’s blessings as you honor and serve him this weekend.

I’m grateful to Baker Books for sponsoring the blog this week with news of a new book by Andrew Davis titled The Glory Now Revealed. Be sure to check it out!
Today’s Kindle deals include some newer and older works.
(Yesterday on the blog: Welcoming the Uncomfortable Work of God)
The Final T4G
Collin Hansen reflects on the forthcoming final T4G. “More than 15 years ago I crowded into the Galt House Hotel ballroom, just across I-64 from the Ohio River in Louisville, Kentucky, with 3,000 pastors and students. We gathered for the inaugural Together for the Gospel (T4G) conference without much idea of what we should expect. We got something we could never forget.”
Back to the Word
I’m with Andrée Seu Peterson: “I’m just about ready to give up the rational conversational approach to social intercourse and to start quoting straight Bible to people. The further we go, the more reason isn’t working anymore. In these sputtering last gasps of the Enlightenment, language itself is deconstructing before our eyes.”
James Bond Converts to Conservatism
As I read Samuel James’s analysis of the latest Bond film, I realized that I’ve never seen a Bond film. He looks at how Bond has changed over the years and what it may mean.
A Theology of Disappointment
“Oddly enough, disappointment can be an indicator you are seeing the world correctly. No one enjoys feeling disappointment. In itself, disappointment is akin to the sadness of loss, and ultimately we were not designed for it. But like all emotions, disappointment is a gauge of how a person perceives his life—what he believes about it and wants from it. When you’re living in a broken world, sometimes believing and wanting the right things means you’ll be disappointed.”
When Does Marriage Begin In God’s Eyes?
Femi Osunnyi provides an interesting answer to the question.
Jesus Spoke a Persian Word From the Cross
“One way to distinguish Central Asia as a region is to say that it is the part of the world dominated by Turkic or Persian-related languages. … These hundreds of millions of people are overwhelmingly Muslim – and they might be surprised to hear that Jesus spoke a word from their ancestral language while on the cross.”
Sin-Coddlers Are Not True Friends
Trevin Wax looks at older and newer definitions of “friend.” “True Christian friends understand the pervasiveness and pull of sin. They’re not shocked by your misstep. They don’t make you feel worse than you already feel. They don’t heap judgment and guilt upon you. But neither do they excuse or minimize your sin. They see something better in you. They know the work of Christ and trust the power of the Spirit. They call you away from sin because they’re calling you to holiness, to the Christlikeness that marks your destiny.”
Flashback: When Jesus Says Stay
He wanted to follow Jesus. He wanted to be close to Jesus. He wanted to live a life of radical obedience. But Jesus told him to stay, not to go. Do not follow me.

We must have cast our sins on Him before we can cast our cares. —F.B. Meyer