I have often said that I don’t know what I think or what I believe until I write about it. Writing is how I reflect, how I meditate, how I chart life’s every journey. In the waning weeks of 2020 my dear son Nick passed away very suddenly and very unexpectedly. And when that sorrow was still new in my heart, when the tears were still fresh in my eyes, when I barely knew up from down and here from there, I began to write. I had to write because I had to know what to think and what to believe, what to feel and what to do. I had to know whether to rage or to worship, whether to run or to bow, whether to give up or to go on. I had to know how to comfort my wife, how to console my daughters, how to shore up my own faith. I put fingers to keyboard and pen to paper to find out.

In the weeks and months that followed, I wrote a series of meditations, some of which I shared through this blog, but many of which I did not. As that first year drew to a close and I came to the first anniversary of Nick’s death, I wrote one final meditation, then sent it all to my publisher in the hope that it would be able to bless and serve others. The result is Seasons of Sorrow: The Pain of Loss and the Comfort of God which will be published on September 13. The book is not a thorough theology of grief or an exhaustive tome on suffering, but neither is it meant to be. It is a real-time, first-person, present-tense series of reflections on the pain that comes with loss and the comfort that God provides. It is my fervent prayer that it will give help, hope, and comfort to others who are enduring hardship as well as to those who may be seeking to help them.
I sent the manuscript to some friends and asked if they would consider reading it and providing some words of endorsement. All were kind enough to do so and you can read their words below.
It would mean a lot to me, and be helpful to the publisher, if you would consider pre-ordering Seasons of Sorrow. Pre-ordering a book helps the booksellers gauge interest and, if the results are good, to determine how they will give it attention as it releases. In other words, if it is something you would order anyway, it would be helpful if you would order it in advance. Here are a few of the stores that already have it listed for pre-order:

Endorsements

‘If ever there was a book Tim Challies needed to write, it’s this one. And it’s a book I needed to read. Within these pages, you will do more than enter Tim’s story of enormous loss; you will come out on the other side having gained a softer heart and a renewed courage to persevere through your own dark seasons of affliction.’ — Joni Eareckson Tada, founder of the Joni and Friends International Disability Center
‘Seasons of Sorrow is a beautiful book. Reading it is like holding a precious gift, like standing on holy ground.’ — Paul David Tripp, pastor, speaker, author of New Morning Mercies and Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn’t Make Sense
‘Seasons of Sorrow cut straight to my soul. I read it within a few weeks of the unexpected deaths of two close friends and while my wife struggles bravely with stage 4 cancer. Tim’s heartfelt pain and Christ-centered perspective spoke to both my heart and my head.’ — Randy Alcorn, author of Heaven and If God Is Good
‘Tim Challies has taken us into his confidence by writing with such self-searching honesty. It is a painful pleasure to be invited into these sacred moments of grief and to be helped by the reminder that God is too kind ever to be cruel and too wise ever to make a mistake.’ — Alistair Begg, senior pastor, Parkside Church, and host of the Truth for Life radio program
‘Believers need this book, and only Tim Challies could have written it. I am so thankful that Nick was a student at Boyce College, and his influence as a young Christian was remarkable.’ — Albert and Mary Mohler
‘In the pages of this book, grieving people will find companionship, insight, and genuine encouragement for the journey.’ — Nancy Guthrie, author of Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow and cohost of Respite Retreats for grieving parents
‘This book is brilliant, not because of Tim Challies’s eloquence, but because of his tears! The buoyancy of faith that shines from every page often left me teary-eyed, thanking God for his grace to his people during their darkest times. What priceless grace!’ — Conrad Mbewe, pastor of Kabwata Baptist Church and founding chancellor of the African Christian University
‘If you have lost a loved one to death, as everyone has, or if you have buried a child, as many have, Tim Challies is your friend. Your brother. Your lifeline.’ — Robert and Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, bestselling authors

You probably keep score. I’m sure you don’t mean to. You may not even be conscious of it. But there’s a pretty good chance that you do it. You keep score in your marriage.

You keep score when you tally up the things you do for your spouse and when you tally up the things your spouse fails to do for you. You rarely keep a running total of your own failures or your spouse’s successes. Rather, you maintain records in such a way that you come out ahead. You probably keep the score in your marriage. And I’m sure it makes you unhappy.
Why does it make you unhappy? Because comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison is the thief of joy because it causes you to focus on yourself. Comparison leads inward, to what you desire, to what you long for, to what you are certain you deserve. Yet the path to joy leads outward rather than inward. It leads toward others rather than toward self. There is more joy in loving than in being loved, more satisfaction in doing good to others than in having good done to you. The path to joy in marriage does not lead from your spouse but to your spouse.
Thus, one of the keys to a joyful marriage is to simply stop keeping score—to stop tallying up the good things you’ve done for your husband or wife and the good things he or she has neglected to do for you. Keep no ledger of wrongs and keep no ledger of rights.
That’s a good place to begin, but there’s more to it. Any time you address a sin, weakness, or failure in your life you need to not only put that vice to death but also bring to life the opposite virtue. What is the opposite of this kind of score-keeping? It’s to love freely and lavishly. It’s to love without keeping score, to love even when you feel unloved, to love even when you give much and seem to receive little. It’s to love in such a way that the only hint of competitiveness in your heart is when you ask, “Am I outdoing my spouse in showing honor?”
Of course, there may be times to consider together whether one person is doing all of the household chores while the other is doing none, whether one person is spending a lot of time with the children while the other person is spending little, whether one person is doing all the sexual initiation while the other is consistently being passive, whether one person is wondering if he or she is loved at all. There are times to sit and talk deliberately about desires, wants, concerns, disappointments, and all the rest.
But there is never a time to stop lavishing mercy, grace, and love upon the person God has given you as a husband or wife. There is never a time to withdraw or become resigned, to decide you will only love to the degree you are being loved. There is never a time to stop serving the one God has specially called you to serve.
To that end, why don’t you make it your habit to ask your husband or wife questions like these: How can I serve you today? How can I make your day better? How can I make your evening easier? In what ways can I be a blessing to you today? Is there anything I can get you? Is there anything I can do for you? How can I let you know today that I love you?
And perhaps even better, commit to consistently doing the things you know will serve your spouse, that will make your wife’s day better, that will make your husband’s evening easier. Serve, serve, and serve some more. Act in love even when you don’t feel loved, act with grace even if you don’t feel particularly gracious. Sow extravagant love to the love of your life, and reap the reward of joy. For the path to joy in marriage leads away from you and runs straight to your spouse.

This week, the blog is sponsored by the D3 Winter Conference, hosted by Boyce College. This year’s conference is designed to help high school students answer, with biblical fidelity, life’s most essential question: “Who is Jesus?” Registration is underway now for the March 10-11, 2023 in-person event.

Who is Jesus? Your answer to that question will ultimately determine your eternity. Yet, that is a question that Christians and non-Christians have been asking for more than 2000 years. As generations come and go it is vital that each new generation of Christians be challenged and equipped to answer this age-old question. Furthermore, it is paramount that younger (or newer) Christians answer this question from a biblically informed perspective. Who is Jesus according to the Bible?
In this current cultural climate, it is not uncommon for parents and pastors to wonder, is the younger generation of Christians prepared to contend for the faith once for all delivered to the saints (Jude 1:3)? In other words, is the 9th grader in your church youth group ready to defend their faith? Is the high school senior ready to articulate from a biblical worldview the person and work of Jesus on a college campus? These are urgent and timely questions for the next generation.
Today, Christians young and old are faced with competing ideas and claims concerning the identity of Jesus. Was he simply a wandering teacher? Was he a mythical figure used to pass down moral and meditative thoughts? These notions and others are commonly expressed in popular culture. Furthermore, many people, when talking about Jesus are prone to emphasize and highlight the qualities that best justify their personal opinions and perspective. Some want to emphasize his love, others his forgiveness, others his willingness to stand against the religious and political rulers of the day, and some are content to merely quote the words of Jesus that best serve their agenda.
So, back to the original question, Who is Jesus? At the outset of 2023, one could argue that it has never been more important for the next generation of Christians to be able to answer that timeless question. At the D3 Winter Conference we will challenge and equip high school students from the Bible to rightly understand and confidently respond to the question: Who is Jesus? Main speakers will include Drs. R. Albert Mohler Jr., Jimmy Scroggins, Paul Akin, and Rev. Scott Long. Breakouts will be led by Drs. Jeremy Pierre, Dustin Bruce, and Curtis Solomon. Over the course of the conference we will discuss the person and work of Jesus, the significance of his birth and death, be challenged by his words and commands, and discern what it really means to follow Jesus today.
At Boyce College and the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, we are passionate and intentional about equipping the next generation of Christians to serve the church and fulfill the Great Commission. One of the ways we seek to accomplish that purpose is through the D3 Winter Conference. This conference is designed for Christian high school students to develop and mature in their faith. The D3 Winter Conference will take place in Louisville, Kentucky on March 10-11, 2023. We look forward to seeing you there!