The old adage may be trite, but that makes it no less true: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. There is something about being apart that stirs our affections, that causes us to understand and articulate what we might otherwise have taken for granted. It is often only through a time of separation that we come to understand how much another person means to us.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true when our loved ones leave us for extended periods or when they depart for distant lands. But “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is equally true when our loved ones depart this earth altogether. We learn that death does not cause love to die, but that in its own way, it fosters and amplifies love all the more.
And why shouldn’t it? In the distance that death interposes, we come to overlook old vices and delight in former virtues. Offenses begin to fade from our minds, replaced by memories that are sweet and delightful. A loved one was never so virtuous and never so much a Christian as she is in our memory. And then there’s this: our hearts are naturally inclined toward those who are weak. And who could be weaker than one who is drawing his final breath, one who lies in a coffin, one who is buried in the cold ground? Death displays the ultimate weakness and it moves our hearts in pity and love.
And so, though our loved ones are gone, we love them still. Though our loved ones have been taken, we love them all the more. Their absence makes our hearts grow ever-fonder.
But what of their love for us? Do our loved ones continue to love us even when they have gone to that Land of Love, even when they have finally come face to face with the God of Love?
I am convinced that they do love us still and I am convinced that their love, too, grows all the more. I am convinced that absence makes their hearts grow fonder, just as it does ours.
After all, they are still sentient, still conscious, still human, still themselves. The lives they lived are real, the relationships they formed are genuine, the experiences they enjoyed are authentic. Though torn from this world and separated from their bodies for a time, they are not torn from who they were. They are not whitewashed into new beings, not reset into people radically different from the people they were on Earth. The bonds of marriage may be severed by death, but not the sweet friendship of a husband and wife. A man’s son here will still be his son there, a woman’s mother here still her mother there. There is much we wonder about heaven and much we discuss or debate, but not the continuity of relationships, not the continuity of love.
And so, if we treasure all the sweet memories we once made together, wouldn’t they? If our hearts yearn to make new memories with them, wouldn’t theirs? If our mouths are crying out “Come, Lord Jesus,” wouldn’t their mouths sing the same?
It is a beautiful thing to ponder that even as we remember our loved ones with such tender affection, they are remembering us with hearts just as warm. Even as we long for the day when we can throw our arms around them, they long for the day when they can throw theirs around us. Even as we yearn for the time when what was severed will be restored, they are yearning for it too. Their love for us continues and their love for us grows, for absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.

This week’s Free Stuff Friday is sponsored by ACBC, who also sponsored the blog this week.

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We care for souls because God gave the church as His community of care,
His Word as our guide for care, and His Spirit as the empowerment of our care. Our vision of care should be shaped by what God has revealed to us in His Word and the person of Christ, not by what our therapeutic culture claims to be legitimate care for struggling people.
Join ACBC for this year’s Annual Conference, O Church, Arise: Reclaiming a Culture of Care,  October 2021 as we explore the important task of soul care in the church.
We’re offering a special discount for Challies readers. Enter code CHALLIES at checkout to receive 10% off of your registration. Prices increase August 31st.
You can join us in person this year as we meet together in Charlotte, NC on October 4-6, 2021!
If attending in person is not possible, we are excited to invite you to join us virtually!
Have a group of 10 or more joining from your local church? We made the Group Watch option just for you!
This Week’s Giveaway: Sufficiency (eBook) & Counseling Resource Package
The sufficiency of Scripture is one of the core doctrines of the biblical counseling movement. This book celebrates biblical counselors’ commitment to Scripture for theology and practice by presenting key writings on sufficiency through the years. In this powerful collection of essays, you’ll be exhorted to stand on the sufficiency of Scripture for counseling.
Everyone who enters this week’s giveaway will receive a free eBook copy of Sufficiency: Historic Essays on the Sufficiency of Scripture from ACBC.
Three winners will receive a bundle of books from key leaders in biblical counseling that will challenge and prepare you for the ministry of counseling.

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September has very nearly faded into October but before the month ends I’d like to tell you about some of the new books that it brought our way. I’ll remind you first that my book Pilgrim Prayers was released this month and encourage you to give it a look! Beyond that, here are 12 new and notable titles that I hope will be of interest to you.

Everyday Gospel: A Daily Devotional Connecting Scripture to All of Life by Paul David Tripp. “Christians know that daily Scripture reading is an essential spiritual discipline. But sometimes opening the Bible day in and day out can feel like a burden rather than the joy and gift that it is. Spending a few minutes reflecting on the truths found within God’s word can strengthen your faith, help you resist sin, and inspire you to live for the eternal, unshakeable kingdom of God. In the Everyday Gospel devotional, Paul David Tripp provides a roadmap for readers who want to spend a full year in God’s word. Tripp, author of the bestselling New Morning Mercies, has now written a second daily devotional, offering 365 fresh, engaging entries that follow an annual Bible reading plan from Genesis through Revelation. Brief and practical, these reflections connect the transforming power of Scripture to all you will experience in your everyday Christian life.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Parenting without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World: Discipling Our Kids with Jesus’ Truth and Love by Rachel Gilson. “As Christian parents, we long to equip our kids as they venture out into a culture where LGBT is affirmed and celebrated. We want them to know what God says, and to love what God says. But, it’s hard to know where to start. That’s where this book can help. Author Rachel Gilson helps you to teach your children proactively and positively about God’s beautiful design for human sexuality, gender, and relationships. This book will help you to provide your children with a Christian framework for sexual ethics, rather than letting the culture lay the foundations of their worldview in this area. Rachel writes with understanding and clarity to help fellow parents engage with the wider LGBT narrative with faith rather than fear. Since she herself experiences same-sex attraction but has chosen to follow the Bible’s teaching, she has put much thought into this topic. She reassures us that Jesus gives us everything we need to be faithful disciples in a fallen world, and that God works out his perfect purposes despite human sin. She also shares her wisdom on how to respond with grace and truth to people with different beliefs in this area.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Bible Basics: What Is The Christian Faith All About? by Stephen J. Nichols. “Are you looking for a great overview of everything you need to know about the Bible? This book offers some Bible basics as the foundation for discipleship and doctrine. Here you will find an overview of the biblical books, places, and events. We’ll look at the big picture of the Bible by exploring the idea of the covenant. You’ll find some key biblical passages to meditate upon and memorize, as well as prayers from the Bible. You’ll also find some key ideas from the centuries of church history. Together we’ll walk through some basic doctrines in order to have a better grasp on what the Bible teaches. You’ll even find some hymns. These basics provide a foundation upon which to build a solid faith. In fact, all of us, no matter where we find ourselves in our Christian walk, need these fundamentals. We need to go back to the basics. Repeat. Repeat again.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Grounded in Grace: Helping Kids Build Their Identity in Christ by Jonathan Holmes. “Grounded in Grace gives parents a guide to understanding how a child’s identity is formed in today’s world and why it leads to insecurity and confusion. Children and teens face a tremendous amount of pressure from their peers and culture to find their identity in their activities, feelings, or performance. This modern way of looking at identity can be challenging to navigate for parents who grew up with a traditional view of identity rooted in predetermined roles. What if they could help their children and teenagers find their identity in something that never went away and never changed based on their ability or performance—an identity grounded in God’s grace? Jonathan Holmes explores the five core areas of identity struggles most common to teens: sports, academics, moralism, sexual orientation, and gender confusion. He provides parents with a biblical foundation to work from and practical tools to help their teen find their identity based on who God says they are.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

The Gospel of God: A Bible Study on Romans for Women (Vol. 1) by Keri Folmar. “In The Gospel of God: A Bible Study on Romans for Women (Vol 1), wise and helpful questions guide you deep into the text using the three basic steps of all sound Bible study: Observe, Interpret, Apply. This is an 18-week inductive study guide for women: Each week’s chapter is divided into sections for 5 days of study; Volume 1 covers Romans 1:1–8:39; Ideal for small groups, individuals, or 1-on-1 mentoring; Lots of extra white space for journaling; Spiral-bound for lay-flat ease of writing. When we study the Bible inductively we want to know what the author meant when he wrote to his original audience. This involves reading Bible passages in context and asking questions about the text. The goal is to find the meaning and significance from the text itself. We do this automatically every day when we read news, social media, or even recipes! Not surprisingly, it is also the best way to study God’s word.” (Buy it at Amazon)

On the Christian Life: A New Translation by John Calvin (Translated by Raymond Blacketer). “For centuries, Christians have read John Calvin’s On the Christian Life to answer a fundamental question: What does it mean to live faithfully as a Christian? This fresh translation of what is often referred to as Calvin’s ‘Golden Booklet’ features an all-new introduction, robust citations, and explanatory footnotes–introducing a new generation of readers to a classic work of Christian spirituality. In the book–a portion of the Reformer’s magnum opus, Institutes of the Christian Religion–Calvin suggests that a deep understanding of theology is worthless if the gospel has yet to ‘penetrate into the most intimate affection of the heart.’ Touching on essential themes like self-denial, submission to God, bearing one’s cross, enduring suffering for the sake of righteousness, and meditating on the life to come, this accessible work will help believers reflect on their lives as Christians and lean on the grace of Jesus in everyday life.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Expository Thoughts on the Gospels (Modernized in Seven Volumes) by J.C. Ryle. “This seven-volume boxset brings Ryle’s Expository Thoughts on the Gospel to a new readership. Featuring a high-quality quarter-bound design that evokes artisanal bookbinding each volume will sit in a boxed case to aid use and increase longevity. The design, paired with Mary Davis’ lightly modernized text, enables Ryle’s voice and tone to remain authentic while making it accessible to a new generation. It is a great read for: Bible teachers & students, those wanting to dive deeper into Scripture, and those unfamiliar with Ryle’s wisdom. Its key features include Ryle in modern English, accessible & reliable wisdom from the past, and artisanal design that stands the test of time.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Sin and Temptation (Volume 15) by John Owen. “Regarded as one of the greatest theologians in history, 17th-century pastor John Owen remains influential among those interested in Puritan and Reformed theology. The Complete Works of John Owen brings together all of Owen’s original theological writing, including never-before-published work, reformatted for modern readers in 40 user-friendly volumes. Volume 15, The Christian Life—Sin and Temptation, includes the treatises ‘­Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers’; ‘Of Temptation: The Nature and Power of It’; ‘The Nature, Power, Deceit, and Prevalency of Indwelling Sin’; and ‘A Treatise of the Dominion of Sin and Grace.’ Each work has been edited with extensive introductions by Kelly M. Kapic, Justin Taylor, and Shawn D. Wright. Released over a number of years, The Complete Works of John Owen will inspire a new generation of Bible readers and scholars to deeper faith.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Revering God: How to Marvel at Your Maker by Thaddeus Williams. “Discover profound insight into God’s attributes and learn practical ways to live a God-centered life that bridges the gap between abstract theology and awe-inspiring devotion. The chief reason we exist is to glorify and enjoy God. But for many, God remains a vague cloud of cosmic kindness, a super-sized projection of ourselves into the sky, or an impossible-to-please killjoy. Who is God, really? Who is this being we should thank for our next breath? Written in the great tradition of classic discipleship works like A. W. Tozer’s The Pursuit of God, J.I. Packer’s Knowing God, and R.C. Sproul’s The Holiness of God, this discipleship guide stands out as our generation’s invitation to good theology that yields profound, reverent, God-centered living. Bestselling author of Confronting Injustice without Compromising Truth invites you to live a more theologically robust and biblical life as you learn how art, cinema, music, philosophy, psychology, apologetics, church history, and most importantly Scripture, can deepen your understanding and enjoyment of God.” (Buy it at Amazon)

Twelve Classic Christmas Stories: A Feast of Yuletide Tales by Timothy Larsen. “Celebrate this magical season with some of the greatest literary figures in history. The wisdom and warmth of Christmas are wrapped in the stories of beloved and gifted authors such as Charles Dickens, Louisa May Alcott, O. Henry, G. K. Chesterton, Willa Cather, Conan Doyle, Washington Irving, George MacDonald, Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anthony Trollope, and other classic storytellers. Not only will you be immersed in the Christmas spirit, but you will draw from the insight of historian Dr. Timothy Larsen who introduces each tale, sharing with readers the history, background, and inspiration behind the literature. This collection invites us to contemplate and savor all that is good and true about God’s redemptive story and our call to be Christ-like. The stories call us to generosity, reconciliation, and sacrifice. They encourage us to live with joy and gratitude. Hope and wonder abound as gather your family around the fire and read aloud the Twelve Classic Christmas Stories.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Perfect Priest for Weary Pilgrims: A Theology of Hebrews by Dennis E. Johnson. “The book of Hebrews can be intimidating for modern-day Christians due to its connection to Old Testament text. However, once understood, this New Testament epistle offers great insights into the superiority and sufficiency of Jesus—rightly justifying his place as high priest. In this addition to the New Testament Theology series, scholar Dennis E. Johnson highlights the main biblical-theological themes of Hebrews. Johnson explores how Jesus fulfills perfect priesthood by becoming the covenant mediator and the trailblazer who leads his people into a better inheritance. Hebrews calls Christian believers, both of the early church and today, to hold fast to their faith even when faced with persecution and exclusion. It reminds us to cling to the eternal Son who offered his body and blood as the everlasting sacrifice for our sin.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Fly Through the Bible: A Brief Introduction by Colin Smith. “The view from above is majestic. Have you ever experienced that thrill of looking out the window of a plane? The beauty of the mountain, the vastness of the water, the lights of the city—it all just looks so amazing from above. You might be familiar with the area, but you’ve never seen it like this. You think to yourself: This. Is. Stunning. That’s what it’s like to Fly Through the Bible. With pastoral heart and insight, Colin Smith helps you find the right altitude to take in the big-picture landscape of God’s story. In this journey, you will meet five people from the Old Testament, explore five events from the life of Jesus, and discover five gifts God gives to every Christian. Even if you’ve never opened the Bible, this short flight will introduce you to God’s Word and leave you marveling at how it all fits together.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)