Is it possible for beauty to exist alongside realities as distressing as dementia and as dreadful as death? Is it possible to write about such realities in a way that is both devastating and encouraging, that is both shatteringly sorrowful and heartbreakingly beautiful? Karen Martin’s Memorable Loss: A Story of Friendship in the Face of Dementia answers with a resounding yes.

Karen Martin’s friendship with Kathleen was perhaps a bit unconventional, not least because they were separated in age by several decades. Yet after meeting through the local church, they became fast friends. Kathleen served as a kind of mentor and confidante, but, as is true in the best of friendships, Karen reciprocated despite her relative youth. Their love and friendship grew through many years and many shared experiences.
Eventually, though, Karen began to notice some changes in Kathleen. She became less comfortable in social settings, less confident in making decisions, and more easily confused. And then came the diagnosis of that most dreaded of diseases: Alzheimer’s. Kathleen had never married and was thus without children to care for her. And so Karen and a couple of Kathleen’s nephews took on the responsibility of helping her through her illness and guiding her through her diminishing abilities.
Alzheimer’s is both progressive and terminal. While Kathleen was at first able to care for herself, the time came when the disease progressed so far that she needed to be placed in a care home. She lived here in relative contentment until the end finally came.
Memorable Loss is Karen’s account of the days from immediately prior to Kathleen’s diagnosis all the way to her passing. It explains Alzheimer’s and dementia and shows how though they necessarily reduce the patient’s capacities, they do not reduce her personhood. It tells of some of the trials that caretakers must endure and some of the agonizing decisions they need to make on behalf of the one they love. And it does all of this through the highest quality of prose.
Martin tells not only of the tragedy of disease and death but of the beauty of the faith and friendship that bound the two women together. It’s an achingly beautiful account that leaves the reader groaning with the sorrow of this world but rejoicing in its delights and longing for the day when death and mourning, when crying and pain, will have passed away. I simply can’t recommend it too highly.

This week the blog is sponsored by Baker Books and is adapted from Jamie Rasmussen’s new book When God Feels Far Away: Eight Ways to Navigate Divine Distance. 

If you’re anything like me and consider yourself a Christian, you and I would probably agree on a few ‘essentials.’. Things like believing God is real, that He is good, and that His grace is revealed to us through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. We would also agree that because of what Jesus did on the cross, and our faith in His completed work, we can enjoy an ongoing relationship with God, and He is always with us.
The problem is, it doesn’t always feel like it. 
In fact, if I can be completely honest and vulnerable, there are times when it not only feels like God is not with me, it feels like He’s far away. Like “Elvis has left the building” far away. And after 40 years of being part of this Christ-following tribe and 35 years as a pastor, I know I’m not alone. I’ve never bothered to count, but if I had, I would have lost count of the number of people who I’ve heard cry out in some form, “Where is God in all this chaos?”
When life unravels, even for (or maybe especially for) the faithful, circumstances suddenly feel like a shaky Jenga tower ready to collapse on top of you if one condition is too carelessly shifted. You can know in your mind that God is with you, but when your experience doesn’t match your theology, you find yourself in the middle of a crisis of faith (I think the technical term is “a dumpster fire of life.”) So, what do you do when you don’t know what to do?
As a veteran of difficult seasons of divine distance, I’ve walked these seemingly lonely paths and guided many others through their own. I’m familiar with the too-common practice among Christians to “buckle up and double down” on our spiritual disciplines, expecting God to be drawn magnet-like to our good behavior (only to be exponentially more disappointed when it doesn’t work as intended). 
There is a better way. 
Using the historic narrative of Esther and the Jewish people in the time of their exile, this book illustrates how eight biblically grounded actions, expressed through a relational filter, can yield fruitful results that bring hope, encouragement, comfort, and even direction. When God Feels Far Away isn’t a self-help book. It is a guide that will help recalibrate your mind and perspective to be both practical and biblical, empowering you and I to see and experience the nearness of God in our circumstances even when He feels far away. 

I’m so grateful to Burke Care for sponsoring the blog this week. They invite you to schedule care today with a certified biblical counselor.

Today at Westminster you can save on Rosaria Butterfield’s new book (foreword by Kevin DeYoung): Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age.
Today’s Kindle deals include newer and older Christian books as well as extensive list of general market history and biography.
(Yesterday on the blog: Remaking the World)
I Set My Hope On Jesus (Hymn for a Deconstructing Friend)
Here’s a new hymn from Matt Boswell & Matt Papa that I think you’ll enjoy. They have also just released an EP with several excellent tracks that you can find on your favorite music app.
Why we aren’t as bad as we could be
“We know that bad things happen in the world around us. But we also know that things could be a lot worse than they are. We know that all people sometimes say, do, and think terrible things—including Christians. But we also know that no one is as terrible as they could be.” Why is this?
The Day I Lost My Marbles
Stephen tells about the day he lost his marbles (quite literally) and then draws out an important lesson from it.
The plateau curve
I think Rush Witt makes some important points here about pastors and longevity in their local churches. Basically, he encourages them to be willing to step aside when the time is right.
How Can I Become a Humbler Calvinist?
John Piper offers counsel on becoming a humbler Calvinist.
Want Rest? Start with a Humble Heart
Meanwhile, also on the subject of being humble, Sarah Hauser explains the connection between humility and rest. “Sometimes praying for rest is like praying for patience. If you’ve ever prayed for patience, maybe you’ll know what I mean. When I need to be more patient (pretty much all the time), what I really want is for God to shower me with loads of supernatural patience. … But my experience has been that instead of being infused with patience like I’m on an IV drip, what God often does is provide opportunities where I can practice patience. I want the quick fix, but God wants deep heart transformation.”
Flashback: Six Reasons Why Adultery Is Very Serious
Why is adultery such a serious matter. Christopher Ash provides six reasons in his book Married for God and I am going to track with him as we go.

Dear praying believers, be of good cheer. God will either give you what you ask, or some thing far better. Are you not quite willing that he should choose for you and me? —Robert Murray M’Cheyne