This week the giveaway is sponsored by Focus on the Family.

The demands of ministry can sometimes leave little time for anything else. Between serving your congregation and fulfilling your calling, it’s easy for your marriage to take a backseat. But here’s the truth: your marriage is critical to the success of your ministry.

Michael McKinley once said, “If a pastor and his wife do not enjoy a close and healthy relationship, his service to the church will be significantly weakened.” Your relationship with your spouse directly impacts your ability to lead and serve effectively. Without a strong bond at home, ministry can feel overwhelming.

That’s why Focus on the Family wants to bless you and your spouse with a FREE 3-day, all-inclusive Marriage Getaway at one of Focus on the Family’s beautiful retreat centers. This is your chance to step away from the busyness of ministry and focus on nurturing your relationship.

You and your spouse can choose from the following retreat locations:

Branson, Missouri

Greenville, Michigan

Wimberley, Texas

This getaway is more than just a break—it’s a gift that will help strengthen your marriage, renew your energy, and equip you to serve.

Check Available Dates 

For more free resources, encouragement, and practical tools to help you thrive in ministry and at home, join The Focused Pastor e-newsletter. We’re here to come alongside you, your family, and the church you serve.

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Before the tabernacle was assembled upon the plains, Moses received a vision of it upon the mountain. Before he directed the first weaving, the first stitching, the first forging, he had been given a detailed image of the completed whole. God led him in a comprehensive walkthrough and delivered to him a thorough set of instructions.

It’s for this reason that there are chapters in the book of Exodus that run in parallel. In chapter 26 God provides instruction: “You shall make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twined linen and blue and purple and scarlet yarns; you shall make them with cherubim skillfully worked into them.” Ten chapters later we read this description: ”All the craftsmen among the workmen made the tabernacle with ten curtains. They were made of fine twined linen and blue and purple and scarlet yarns, with cherubim skillfully worked.” Again, “You shall make fifty clasps of gold, and couple the curtains one to the other with the clasps, so that the tabernacle may be a single whole.” And so, a short time later, “he made fifty clasps of gold, and coupled the curtains one to the other with clasps. So the tabernacle was a single whole.”
Thus it went from the tabernacle to the altar to the table to the lampstand to the Ark of the Covenant. Moses had received clear and exhaustive instructions from God and to be obedient he simply had to do exactly as he had been directed. God’s will was clear and it fell to Moses to execute it.
We may wish that God provided this kind of direction today. Especially when we come to life’s trials and difficulties, its questions and uncertainties, we may wish that God would describe what it means to be obedient from start to finish, from beginning to end. We may wish that he would give us a vision of the whole before we set out and that he would give us a thorough set of directions before we take the first step. We learn quickly, though, that this is not God’s way.
It’s not that God has no plan for our lives or that he is making things up as he goes. It’s not that he is adeptly responding to circumstances and directing first this way and then that. It’s not that he neglected to create a clear blueprint in his mind or that he lacks the power to execute it all in its minutest details. No, the truth is that God has every bit as much of a design for our lives as he did for his tabernacle. Our days are as clearly and precisely laid out in his mind as was his place of worship. If it was important to God to tell exactly how many rings must fasten each curtain, then certainly no detail of our lives is too small, no moment too trivial, no decision too insignificant to be meaningless or to fall outside of his plan.
But when it comes to our lives, God chooses to unfold his will in bits, in steps, in phases. He chooses to unfold his will in real-time and not in advance. He chooses to unfold his will in such a way that we need to exercise faith—faith that all we experience is within his providence, faith that the way will become clear as we go, and faith that when we look back upon it all, we will praise him for his wisdom. We proceed through life with a page of directions that includes just the next step or two, not with a booklet of instructions that displays the completed whole.
But even with this being the case, we lack nothing that is necessary to live faithfully and well. Where God gave Moses a blueprint, he gives us many promises. Where God gave Moses a detailed plan, he gives us many sweet assurances. Perhaps the best of them is this: “The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” As we live with him and for him, he keeps back nothing we need to live in the way that pleases and honors him. And if God keeps back from us no good thing, then it must be equally true that he dispenses to us no ultimately bad thing. His providence does not fall into the two categories of good and bad, but just the one category of good. Everything is ultimately good because everything proceeds from his wisdom and falls within his plan.
Thus, whether our path leads through green pastures or dark valleys, we can be certain that God is withholding no good thing. Whether our path leads through depths of pain or heights or joy, we can have confidence that God is dispensing no evil thing. Whether our path leads in just one direction or forks into many possibilities, we can be sure that the God who told exactly how many rings must fasten each curtain is the very same God who will dispense the wisdom we need to discern whether it’s best to stay or return, to accept or decline, to press on or turn back. No matter where God leads, we can have the highest assurance that through it all he is making us more like Christ and bringing glory to his name. For the Lord is our sun and shield and he bestows to his beloved nothing but favor and honor.

Every now and again I jot down a thought that I’d like to ponder but that I don’t intend to tease out into an article. After all, not every idea is worthy of a full-length treatment. Hence, today I’ve got a long list of brief, random (and unsolicited) observations and pieces of advice related to the local church. I hope there is something here that benefits you.

You are a contributor to your church’s strengths and weaknesses. Your giftedness makes your church stronger and your sins and weaknesses make it weaker. Whenever you are tempted to grumble about your church, you need to remember that even if you can be part of a solution, you are also part of the problems. Be humble.

It’s no cliché that Sunday morning begins on Saturday evening. Your experience of church will be much different if you stay up late watching movies you shouldn’t be watching versus if you go to bed at a reasonable time after refraining from sinful behavior. If you want to get the greatest benefit from the worship services, you need to plan ahead.

There are no perfect churches. Every church has its unique collection of strengths and weaknesses. Though it can often look attractive to leave a church because of its weaknesses, the new church will have plenty of its own. Count the cost before moving on.

One of the best compliments that can be paid to a Christian is this: You are a good churchman.

Make it your habit to pray through the membership directory. You cannot help but come to love people as you pray for them. It’s also a great way to get to know names and faces (not to mention to the names and faces of children).

It is very common—but rarely a good idea—to change churches amid a personal crisis or immediately following one. In times of great difficulty, it is usually best to allow the local church to be a source of stability. It’s wise to distrust yourself in your most difficult times. Stay put for now and only consider moving when life has stabilized.

If and when it does come time to leave a church, leave it well. Most of the time that will involve seeking counsel and affirmation from trusted people, notifying the elders well in advance, expressing your gratitude to them, and then leaving without taking anyone else with you and without undermining other people’s confidence in their leaders.

One unheralded ministry in the church is the ministry of arriving early. In many churches, it is often guests who arrive first and they can feel awkward if they are alone. Those who get there early have the opportunity to serve in welcoming newcomers and engaging them in conversation. Conversely, those who continually show up late miss out on many opportunities to serve others.

Another unheralded ministry is the ministry of singing loud. Our culture doesn’t really know what to do with singing and few people have been trained to sing well and confidently. If you have a good voice and know how to use it, you can bless the people around you by singing out your praises in as loud a voice as is appropriate.

Far too many Christians move from one city to another without first ensuring there is a good church in the new location. Always make sure you are caring for yourself and your family by identifying sound churches in your new place.

Few people want to be part of a church that doesn’t pray, but few people want to attend a prayer meeting. You should ponder this conundrum.

The Lord’s Supper is for sinners, not perfect people. If you come to church deep in a sin that you have no intention of giving up, you would do well to refrain from participating in the Lord’s Supper. But if you have sinned through the week and know the sorrow and shame of it, if you are repenting of that sin before the Lord and pleading for his grace, then by all means, participate. This means of grace is for you!

Baptism takes on new dimensions of meaning when you understand it as not only as a personal act of obedience for an individual but as an ordinance that has meaning to everyone in the church. It is a communal rite, not a personal one.

The greater the number of churches in a particular area, the more each church can create a very defined identity around lesser matters. The fewer the number of churches in a particular area, the more the churches there may be well-served by creating a broader identity around the most important matters.

Church membership matters. It is a great privilege and a great responsibility of the Christian to be formally connected to a particular local church.

It’s okay to be on the losing side of votes or decisions in the life of the church, especially when they are over relatively mundane matters. When the decision is made by the leaders or the majority of members, don’t sulk or whine. Instead, become an advocate of that decision. After all, isn’t God likely to work his will through a prayerful majority?

If you have a beef or concern with the sermon, it’s always a good idea to wait until a few days have passed before approaching the pastor. Also, be sure to distinguish between a bad sermon and a weak sermon—a sermon in which the pastor preached error and a sermon in which he simply may not have been at his best.

There is a lot of gossip in churches. Make the commitment that whatever gossip you hear will never be passed on. Make sure it ends with you.

Churches can inadvertently (or even deliberately) slip into a posture of competition toward one another. One way to head this off is to deliberately and publicly pray for other nearby churches. Pastors do well to integrate this into their pastoral prayers.

It’s okay to clap or raise your hands in worship. It’s okay not to. A lot depends on the customs of the church you are part of. But if it is a custom within your church, it’s probably worth giving it a try as a means of physically expressing your worship.

It is far better to arrive at church each week as a worshipper than a critic. It is far better to determine you will seek out and enjoy whatever good you can find in the church than to identify and nitpick every weakness. It will be better for you and better for everyone else if you come to worship eager to enjoy every blessing.

It is a blessing when the adults in a church take an interest in the children. It is a blessing when parents know that the Christians around them love to befriend and influence their children. So do your best to forge relationships with some of those little people.

Try to make your church the kind of place where young preachers can confidently preach their very first sermons. Though those sermons are probably not going to be very good, ensure those young men receive a lot of encouragement and affirmation.

There is entirely too much unnecessary church-changing. Of course, there are times when leaving one church for another is necessary and good. But there is also something to be said for enduring through a church’s times of difficulty and having a long, faithful ministry among a particular people.

While there are many good causes and many great ministries that need financial support, make the local church the main priority in your giving. And do that giving with joy.

When there is a loud noise in church—a child who cries out, a disabled person who causes a disturbance, a member who drops their water bottle on the floor—be the person who doesn’t turn to look at them. They’re already embarrassed enough.

The one ministry that always needs more people is the childcare ministry. Get your name on the list to serve it!

When you are on vacation or otherwise far from home, make it a point to visit a church. And, if you can, try to make it a church that is true and strong but quite a lot different from your own. You will learn a lot about how Christians worship in ways that are the same but different. You may even spot a strength or custom that you would like to take back to your own church.

When you are on vacation or otherwise far from home in a country that does not speak English, make it a point to visit a church. In all likelihood, there is someone in the church who speaks English and who can help you get settled. You will be surprised and encouraged by how much you can still participate and how much you can still benefit even when you barely understand a word. Worship is a universal language.

When visiting a church that is not your own, do your best to attend as an observer rather than a judge. Some elements may appear strange or even wrong, but if you pay close attention and ask good questions, you may find that each element makes sense within the context of that church.

As soon as a worship service ends, make it your goal to meet someone you have never met or to spend time with someone you barely know. You can catch up with your close friends later. The first two minutes matter most.

The older you get and the more your children move away from your home, city, and church, the more you will treasure sitting in church with your family. So learn to enjoy it while your children are young, rather than dread it or complain about it. These are the good ol’ days and the time will come when you will find yourself wishing they would return.