In this latest episode of LBE, Dr. Douglas Moo, theologian and professor at Wheaton, joins Collin, Justin, and myself to talk about his new and substantial contribution, A Theology of Paul and His Letters. Weighing in at 784 pages, there is a lot to unpack. Among the topics we cover are: how to balance text and tradition, the biggest change in Pauline theology, Paul’s instructions on the family and sex, the work of N.T. Wright, and how substitution makes everything work.

Timestamps:
What Thanksgiving Means in Michigan [0:00 – 2:12]
Dr. Douglas J. Moo [2:12 – 7:32]
Text and Tradition in Theology [7:32 – 15:17]
What is the biggest recent change in Pauline theology? [15:17 – 19:29]
Same Text; Different Takes [19:29 – 29:26]
Traditional Conclusions [29:26 – 34:05]
Women and the Home [34:05 – 37:45]
Sexual Mores Conflict [37:45 – 41:08]
A Glaring Omission [41:08 – 44:25]
On N.T. Wright [44:25 – 49:07]
New Realm [49:07 – 51:57]
Substitutionary Atonement [51:57 – 55:24]
The Gagging of God, by D.A. Carson [55:24 – 1:01:45]
Books and Everything:
A Theology of Paul and His Letters: The Gift of the New Realm in Christ, by Dr. Douglas Moo
Other books by Dr. Moo

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

In this episode, Collin, Justin, and I discuss how we use the term ‘elite’. Is it positive or is it a term of derision? Elites, and especially Evangelical elites, have been criticized a lot lately. Giving this matter some consideration, we offer our thoughts, turning the focus both internally and externally, with both positive and negative critiques. But first… books! We’ve been reading a lot. You’ll hear about productivity, theology, classic fiction, and of course a lot of history.

Timestamps:
Books First! [0:00 – 2:25]
Collin is surprised. [2:25 – 7:36]
Kevin is restrained. [7:36 – 19:18]
Justin is almost finished. [19:18 – 28:54]
Elites in the Spotlight [28:54 – 37:54]
Hating on Elites [37:54 – 43:03]
Evangelical Elites [43:03 – 46:40]
Public Religious Research Institute Survey [46:40 – 49:08]
Elitists Out of Step [49:08 – 53:35]
Kevin Responds [53:35 – 58:34]
Elites Not Reading the Room [58:34 – 1:02:11]
The Inner Ring [1:02:11 – 1:03:15]
Encouragement [1:03:15 – 1:07:18]
Books and Everything:
Collin:
Brand Luther: How an Unheralded Monk Turned His Small Town into a Center of Publishing, Made Himself the Most Famous Man in Europe–and Started the Protestant Reformation, by Andrew Pettegree
Pilgrims and Priests: Christian Mission in a Post-Christian Society, by Stefan Paas
Kevin:
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, by Oliver Burkeman
Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children’s Rights Movement, by Katy Faust and Stacy Manning
Wonderfully Made: A Protestant Theology of the Body, by John W. Kleinig
The Viking Heart: How Scandinavians Conquered the World, by Arthur Herman
1984, by George Orwell
Justin:
Proverbs: A Shorter Commentary, by Bruce K. Waltke and Ivan D. V. De Silva
The Zealot and the Emancipator: John Brown, Abraham Lincoln, and the Struggle for American Freedom, by H.W. Brands
Lincoln in Private: What His Most Personal Reflections Tell Us About Our Greatest President, by Ronald C. White
Lonesome Dove: A Novel, by Larry McMurtry
Articles on Elites:
“The Galli Report 10.08.21,” by Mark Galli
“The Failure of Evangelical Elites,” by Carl R. Trueman
“Evangelical Elites, Fighting Each Other,” by David French
“The Inner Ring,” by C.S. Lewis

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

In this episode, Collin, Justin, and I discuss how we use the term ‘elite’. Is it positive or is it a term of derision? Elites, and especially Evangelical elites, have been criticized a lot lately. Giving this matter some consideration, we offer our thoughts, turning the focus both internally and externally, with both positive and negative critiques. But first… books! We’ve been reading a lot. You’ll hear about productivity, theology, classic fiction, and of course a lot of history.

Timestamps:
Books First! [0:00 – 2:25]
Collin is surprised. [2:25 – 7:36]
Kevin is restrained. [7:36 – 19:18]
Justin is almost finished. [19:18 – 28:54]
Elites in the Spotlight [28:54 – 37:54]
Hating on Elites [37:54 – 43:03]
Evangelical Elites [43:03 – 46:40]
Public Religious Research Institute Survey [46:40 – 49:08]
Elitists Out of Step [49:08 – 53:35]
Kevin Responds [53:35 – 58:34]
Elites Not Reading the Room [58:34 – 1:02:11]
The Inner Ring [1:02:11 – 1:03:15]
Encouragement [1:03:15 – 1:07:18]
Books and Everything:
Collin:
Brand Luther: How an Unheralded Monk Turned His Small Town into a Center of Publishing, Made Himself the Most Famous Man in Europe–and Started the Protestant Reformation, by Andrew Pettegree
Pilgrims and Priests: Christian Mission in a Post-Christian Society, by Stefan Paas
Kevin:
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, by Oliver Burkeman
Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children’s Rights Movement, by Katy Faust and Stacy Manning
Wonderfully Made: A Protestant Theology of the Body, by John W. Kleinig
The Viking Heart: How Scandinavians Conquered the World, by Arthur Herman
1984, by George Orwell
Justin:
Proverbs: A Shorter Commentary, by Bruce K. Waltke and Ivan D. V. De Silva
The Zealot and the Emancipator: John Brown, Abraham Lincoln, and the Struggle for American Freedom, by H.W. Brands
Lincoln in Private: What His Most Personal Reflections Tell Us About Our Greatest President, by Ronald C. White
Lonesome Dove: A Novel, by Larry McMurtry
Articles on Elites:
“The Galli Report 10.08.21,” by Mark Galli
“The Failure of Evangelical Elites,” by Carl R. Trueman
“Evangelical Elites, Fighting Each Other,” by David French
“The Inner Ring,” by C.S. Lewis

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

In this latest episode of the LBE podcast, I have the privilege of sitting down with one of my favorite authors, Dr. Allen Guelzo, to talk about his new book, Robert E. Lee: A Life. We address how General Lee could be both opposed to slavery and commit treason to defend it, how the South came very close to victory and how would that have changed history, how Lee’s fatherlessness affected his leadership, and our thoughts on the removal of statues.

Timestamps:
Dr. Allen Guelzo, First-time Listener [1:02 – 2:47]
Guelzo’s Other Historical Works [2:47 – 12:53]
The Making of a Great Course [12:53 – 14:13]
Writing a Biography of Robert E. Lee [14:13 – 19:21]
What Movies Get Right and Wrong about Lee [19:21 – 24:47]
“…the biography of someone who commits treason?” [24:47 – 29:24]
A Christian Way of Doing History [29:24 – 36:18]
Neither Saint Nor Devil [36:18 – 44:41]
Robert, Son of the Great Light Horse Harry Lee [44:41 – 48:37]
Before and After the War [48:37 – 51:53]
What if the South had won? [51:33 – 58:30]
Lee and Slavery [58:30 – 1:04:20]
Should statues be removed? [1:04:20 – 1:09:22]
Books and Everything:
Robert E. Lee: A Life, by Allen Guelzo
The Great Courses
Tenth Presbyterian Church of Philadelphia: 175 Years of Thinking and Acting Biblically, by Philip Graham Ryken
Edwards on the Will: A Century of American Theological Debate, by Allen Guelzo
Abraham Lincoln: Redeemer President, by Allen Guelzo
Gettysburg: The Last Invasion, by Allen Guelzo
Redeeming the Great Emancipator, by Allen Guelzo, et al
Fateful Lightning: A New History of the Civil War and Reconstruction, by Allen Guelzo
Faith of the Fatherless, by Paul Vitz
“Of Monuments & Men,” by Allen C. Guelzo and John M. Rudy

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

In this latest episode of the LBE podcast, I have the privilege of sitting down with one of my favorite authors, Dr. Allen Guelzo, to talk about his new book, Robert E. Lee: A Life. We address how General Lee could be both opposed to slavery and commit treason to defend it, how the South came very close to victory and how would that have changed history, how Lee’s fatherlessness affected his leadership, and our thoughts on the removal of statues.

Timestamps:
Dr. Allen Guelzo, First-time Listener [1:02 – 2:47]
Guelzo’s Other Historical Works [2:47 – 12:53]
The Making of a Great Course [12:53 – 14:13]
Writing a Biography of Robert E. Lee [14:13 – 19:21]
What Movies Get Right and Wrong about Lee [19:21 – 24:47]
“…the biography of someone who commits treason?” [24:47 – 29:24]
A Christian Way of Doing History [29:24 – 36:18]
Neither Saint Nor Devil [36:18 – 44:41]
Robert, Son of the Great Light Horse Harry Lee [44:41 – 48:37]
Before and After the War [48:37 – 51:53]
What if the South had won? [51:33 – 58:30]
Lee and Slavery [58:30 – 1:04:20]
Should statues be removed? [1:04:20 – 1:09:22]
Books and Everything:
Robert E. Lee: A Life, by Allen Guelzo
The Great Courses
Tenth Presbyterian Church of Philadelphia: 175 Years of Thinking and Acting Biblically, by Philip Graham Ryken
Edwards on the Will: A Century of American Theological Debate, by Allen Guelzo
Abraham Lincoln: Redeemer President, by Allen Guelzo
Gettysburg: The Last Invasion, by Allen Guelzo
Redeeming the Great Emancipator, by Allen Guelzo, et al
Fateful Lightning: A New History of the Civil War and Reconstruction, by Allen Guelzo
Faith of the Fatherless, by Paul Vitz
“Of Monuments & Men,” by Allen C. Guelzo and John M. Rudy

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

In this episode, Justin and I take a long, hard look at abortion in America. With the new law in Texas making news, and a potential challenge to Roe v. Wade, we try and help get back to basics with practical resources for changing hearts and minds regarding abortion. We also ask where the primary threat to the American church is coming from. Is it secularism from the outside, or corruption and sin inside? And in a moment of light disagreement, we discuss the pros and cons of depicting Jesus in media like The Chosen. Plus, the book recommendations that are not at the top of everyone’s mind.

Timestamps:
Eradicate Porn [0:00 – 2:30]
Nebraska vs. Michigan State [2:30 – 6:06]
Abortion [6:06 – 32:12]
Is the greatest threat to the Church internal or external? [32:12 – 50:26]
Problems with Depicting Jesus in The Chosen [50:26 – 1:03:01]
Non-Top-Ten Book Recommendations [1:03:01 – 1:11:55]
Books and Everything:
Resources on Abortion:
The Case for Life, by Scott Klusendorf
SLED argument against abortion
Pro-Lifers Shine on Twitter
Defending Life: A Moral and Legal Case Against Abortion Choice, by Francis Beckwith
Abuse of Discretion: The Inside Story of Roe v. Wade, by Clarke Forsythe
Eternal Perspectives Ministries, with Randy Alcorn
Robert P. George and Patrick Lee
Marvin Olasky, book on abortion forthcoming from Crossway
Non-Top-Ten Book Recommendations:
– From Justin:
Commentary on the New Testament, by Robert Gundry
Wrestling with an Angel: A Story of Love, Disability and the Lessons of Grace, by Greg Lucas
Know the Truth: A Handbook of Christian Belief, by Bruce Milne
– From Kevin:
True Devotion: In Search of Authentic Spirituality, by Allan Chapple
Wisdom in Leadership, by Craig Hamilton
The Book of the Dun Cow, by Walter Wangerin, J r.
The Everlasting Man, by G.K. Chesterton

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

In this episode, Justin and I take a long, hard look at abortion in America. With the new law in Texas making news, and a potential challenge to Roe v. Wade, we try and help get back to basics with practical resources for changing hearts and minds regarding abortion. We also ask where the primary threat to the American church is coming from. Is it secularism from the outside, or corruption and sin inside? And in a moment of light disagreement, we discuss the pros and cons of depicting Jesus in media like The Chosen. Plus, the book recommendations that are not at the top of everyone’s mind.

Timestamps:
Eradicate Porn [0:00 – 2:30]
Nebraska vs. Michigan State [2:30 – 6:06]
Abortion [6:06 – 32:12]
Is the greatest threat to the Church internal or external? [32:12 – 50:26]
Problems with Depicting Jesus in The Chosen [50:26 – 1:03:01]
Non-Top-Ten Book Recommendations [1:03:01 – 1:11:55]
Books and Everything:
Resources on Abortion:
The Case for Life, by Scott Klusendorf
SLED argument against abortion
Pro-Lifers Shine on Twitter
Defending Life: A Moral and Legal Case Against Abortion Choice, by Francis Beckwith
Abuse of Discretion: The Inside Story of Roe v. Wade, by Clarke Forsythe
Eternal Perspectives Ministries, with Randy Alcorn
Robert P. George and Patrick Lee
Marvin Olasky, book on abortion forthcoming from Crossway
Non-Top-Ten Book Recommendations:
– From Justin:
Commentary on the New Testament, by Robert Gundry
Wrestling with an Angel: A Story of Love, Disability and the Lessons of Grace, by Greg Lucas
Know the Truth: A Handbook of Christian Belief, by Bruce Milne
– From Kevin:
True Devotion: In Search of Authentic Spirituality, by Allan Chapple
Wisdom in Leadership, by Craig Hamilton
The Book of the Dun Cow, by Walter Wangerin, J r.
The Everlasting Man, by G.K. Chesterton

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

Romans 12:15 is a divine command and a vital aspect of Christian maturity. As God’s holy people (Rom. 12:1), Christians are to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. In recent years, the second half of the verse in particular has been emphasized as a key component in caring for victims, in listening to the stories of the oppressed, and in showing compassion to the hurting.
These emphases are right and proper. Oftentimes the first thing we must do with sufferers is simply come alongside them, acknowledge their pain, express our condolences, and assure them of our love and prayers. Many of us can testify firsthand that when we look back at seasons of intense grief, we don’t remember the exact words people shared, but we do remember the people who showed up and sat with us in our tears. I love what Romans 12:15 teaches about Christian compassion and pastoral care. The verse is a needed reminder for any of us who may be tempted to treat suffering with indifference or to approach hurting saints as broken people in need of a quick fix.
“Weep with those who weep” is an important, biblical command. But it should not be taken as a one-size-fits-all formula that demands a rigid application in every situation where people are sad or distraught. Surely, the second half of Romans 12:15 does not mean that the only response to grieving people is to grieve with them. Diving into facts, pursuing objectivity, listening to all sides—these are not invalidated by Romans 12:15. “Weep with those who weep” does not dictate that the reasons for our weeping can never be mistaken. In short, the verse must mean something like “weep with those who have good, biblical reason to be weeping.”
If that sounds like an unnecessary neutering of a beloved verse, consider three observations.
One, almost everyone interprets the first half of Romans 12:15 along the lines just stated above. That is, no one thinks God wants us to rejoice with those who rejoice over the Taliban coming to power. No matter how genuine the rejoicing may be, Christians should not join with those who celebrate abortion or parade their sexual immorality or delight in racial prejudice. Instinctively, we know that the first half of Romans 12:15 means something like, “rejoice with those who have good, biblical reason to be rejoicing.”
Two, a rigid application of Romans 12:15 is untenable in real life. The point of the verse is not to train our emotions to match every emotion we encounter, but rather to be a thoughtful, considerate person who doesn’t sing a dirge at a wedding or bring a kazoo to a funeral. I remember after the 2016 presidential election hearing some disappointed Christians say that other Christians were obliged to weep with them as they grieved the outcome of the election. Romans 12:15, it was said, commanded others to share in their sorrow. But of course, on that application, Christians were also obligated to celebrate with those who cheered the results of the election. The verse cuts in both directions. A reasonable application of Romans 12:15 does not insist on being as sad as the saddest person in our lives, but in being considerate to others who feel differently about disputable matters or are going through different experiences than we are.
Three, strictly speaking, Jesus did not always weep with those who wept. He certainly didn’t feel obligated under every circumstance to match the mood of those around him. When the crowds were rejoicing on Palm Sunday, Jesus wept (Luke 20:41), and when the women were mourning for Jesus on his way to the cross, he told them not to weep for him (23:28). Jesus was always kind, but almost never sentimental. To those brokenhearted over their sin or looking to him for deliverance from their suffering, his tenderness knew no end. But to those grieving the puncturing of their pretensions or indignant because of the truth he proclaimed, Jesus could be unsparing in speaking what they did not want to hear.
What, then, does it mean to weep with those who weep?
For starters, we should remember that others may not feel the same way at any given moment, or in response to the same events, as we do. If one mother’s son just got accepted to his dream school, while another mother’s son has been turned down every place he’s applied, the Apostle Paul would have the sad mother be happy for her friend and vice versa. Love is not rude, which means obnoxiously mismatching the mood of those around you is inconsiderate at best, and a sin at worst.
But more than that, Romans 12:15 is fundamentally about maintaining the warmth and unity of Christian fellowship. That’s why verse 15 is followed by commands like “live at harmony with one another” (v. 16), “do not be haughty” (v. 16), “do what is honorable,” (v. 17), and “so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (v. 18). Raining on parades and dancing at gravesides does not help keep the peace.
Be thoughtful. Be compassionate. Be quick to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. Christians look to comfort the sad.
But our sympathy is not untethered to all other considerations. Weeping in itself is not sacrosanct. The one who laughs the loudest is not always laughing for good reason. Likewise, the one who shares most conspicuously his pain is not always lamenting for good cause. Our suffering is not sovereign.
Romans 12:15 is a precious verse meant to provide pastoral wisdom in the church and inject personal sensitivity into our relationships. We honor the verse by obeying what it means to command, not by insisting on what is impractically one-sided, out of step with the context, and inconsistent with the example of Jesus.

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

Romans 12:15 is a divine command and a vital aspect of Christian maturity. As God’s holy people (Rom. 12:1), Christians are to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. In recent years, the second half of the verse in particular has been emphasized as a key component in caring for victims, in listening to the stories of the oppressed, and in showing compassion to the hurting.
These emphases are right and proper. Oftentimes the first thing we must do with sufferers is simply come alongside them, acknowledge their pain, express our condolences, and assure them of our love and prayers. Many of us can testify firsthand that when we look back at seasons of intense grief, we don’t remember the exact words people shared, but we do remember the people who showed up and sat with us in our tears. I love what Romans 12:15 teaches about Christian compassion and pastoral care. The verse is a needed reminder for any of us who may be tempted to treat suffering with indifference or to approach hurting saints as broken people in need of a quick fix.
“Weep with those who weep” is an important, biblical command. But it should not be taken as a one-size-fits-all formula that demands a rigid application in every situation where people are sad or distraught. Surely, the second half of Romans 12:15 does not mean that the only response to grieving people is to grieve with them. Diving into facts, pursuing objectivity, listening to all sides—these are not invalidated by Romans 12:15. “Weep with those who weep” does not dictate that the reasons for our weeping can never be mistaken. In short, the verse must mean something like “weep with those who have good, biblical reason to be weeping.”
If that sounds like an unnecessary neutering of a beloved verse, consider three observations.
One, almost everyone interprets the first half of Romans 12:15 along the lines just stated above. That is, no one thinks God wants us to rejoice with those who rejoice over the Taliban coming to power. No matter how genuine the rejoicing may be, Christians should not join with those who celebrate abortion or parade their sexual immorality or delight in racial prejudice. Instinctively, we know that the first half of Romans 12:15 means something like, “rejoice with those who have good, biblical reason to be rejoicing.”
Two, a rigid application of Romans 12:15 is untenable in real life. The point of the verse is not to train our emotions to match every emotion we encounter, but rather to be a thoughtful, considerate person who doesn’t sing a dirge at a wedding or bring a kazoo to a funeral. I remember after the 2016 presidential election hearing some disappointed Christians say that other Christians were obliged to weep with them as they grieved the outcome of the election. Romans 12:15, it was said, commanded others to share in their sorrow. But of course, on that application, Christians were also obligated to celebrate with those who cheered the results of the election. The verse cuts in both directions. A reasonable application of Romans 12:15 does not insist on being as sad as the saddest person in our lives, but in being considerate to others who feel differently about disputable matters or are going through different experiences than we are.
Three, strictly speaking, Jesus did not always weep with those who wept. He certainly didn’t feel obligated under every circumstance to match the mood of those around him. When the crowds were rejoicing on Palm Sunday, Jesus wept (Luke 20:41), and when the women were mourning for Jesus on his way to the cross, he told them not to weep for him (23:28). Jesus was always kind, but almost never sentimental. To those brokenhearted over their sin or looking to him for deliverance from their suffering, his tenderness knew no end. But to those grieving the puncturing of their pretensions or indignant because of the truth he proclaimed, Jesus could be unsparing in speaking what they did not want to hear.
What, then, does it mean to weep with those who weep?
For starters, we should remember that others may not feel the same way at any given moment, or in response to the same events, as we do. If one mother’s son just got accepted to his dream school, while another mother’s son has been turned down every place he’s applied, the Apostle Paul would have the sad mother be happy for her friend and vice versa. Love is not rude, which means obnoxiously mismatching the mood of those around you is inconsiderate at best, and a sin at worst.
But more than that, Romans 12:15 is fundamentally about maintaining the warmth and unity of Christian fellowship. That’s why verse 15 is followed by commands like “live at harmony with one another” (v. 16), “do not be haughty” (v. 16), “do what is honorable,” (v. 17), and “so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (v. 18). Raining on parades and dancing at gravesides does not help keep the peace.
Be thoughtful. Be compassionate. Be quick to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. Christians look to comfort the sad.
But our sympathy is not untethered to all other considerations. Weeping in itself is not sacrosanct. The one who laughs the loudest is not always laughing for good reason. Likewise, the one who shares most conspicuously his pain is not always lamenting for good cause. Our suffering is not sovereign.
Romans 12:15 is a precious verse meant to provide pastoral wisdom in the church and inject personal sensitivity into our relationships. We honor the verse by obeying what it means to command, not by insisting on what is impractically one-sided, out of step with the context, and inconsistent with the example of Jesus.

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.

I was in my final year at Gordon-Conwell. It was a beautiful morning–sunny, deep blue, not a cloud in the sky. I had an early morning class on that Tuesday. Maybe it was Minor Prophets, something with Hebrew I think.
I made the short walk across campus to my dorm room and picked up the phone. I had to check with my church. Something about a bulletin announcement or the preaching schedule. The church was in between pastors at the time, and I was helping out with some of the scheduling and some of the preaching. As it turned out, I was glad not to be preaching the next Sunday.
My friend on the phone asked me what I thought about the plane that had just crashed into the Twin Towers. I had no idea what he was talking about. This was 2001. I didn’t own a cell phone. I had no t.v. in my dorm room. Most of the time I went to the computer lab to check my email. We hung up the phone and I decided to figure out what had happened–probably one of these prop plane accidents. Didn’t John Denver die like that a few years ago?
I walked upstairs to the t.v. lounge, expecting the room to be quiet. It was around 10:00 in the morning. No one would be there. I was half right: the room was completely quiet, but everyone was there. I can’t remember if I saw the first tower fall, but I’m pretty sure I was in the room when the second tower fell. Unreal. Unbelievable.
I remember walking up and down the Holy Hill on campus, praying, thinking, somewhat fearful, knowing that since every flight in the country had been grounded, if I saw a plane in the sky it was very bad news. I remember everyone trying to call home and not getting through. I remember driving the two miles over to Gordon College to pick up my fiance so we could be together. I remember the special prayer service and how honored I was to pray with Peter Kuzmic during that time. I remember gathering in the one dorm room with a working t.v. to watch President Bush, and later Billy Graham.  I remember having to pray in chapel later that week and not knowing what to say, except that I should say something from Psalm 46.
I remember how personal the loss was for so many in Boston. I’d flown out of Logan too.
I remember all the American flags–everywhere, on mailboxes, on street corners, in store windows, even in Massachusetts. I remember hearing “I’m Proud to be an American” on the radio and crying instead of laughing. I remember how everything I was looking forward to–graduating, getting married, finding a church–seemed distant and on-hold, like maybe normal would not return, maybe nothing would be the same.
Life would be normal again. As least for most of us. Maybe too normal. Thousands walked into the church again. They didn’t stay. I told myself I would pray for my country every day for the rest of my life. I haven’t.
It’s hard to believe that this year’s freshman class doesn’t remember anything about 9/11. Those arriving at college in the past few weeks were three or four when the Towers fell. Barely out of diapers when the Pentagon was struck. They may know nothing about Todd Beamer’s “Let’s roll” or President Bush’s “I can hear you” or his opening pitch at Yankee Stadium. That’s bound to happen. I’m sure I don’t know as much about Pearl Harbor as I should. But let’s not allow the memory to become too distant.
Where were you?
Teach our history. Share your story. Thank God for mercies. Pray, repent, and don’t forget.

Kevin DeYoung (PhD, University of Leicester) is senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, Council member of The Gospel Coalition, and associate professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte). He has written numerous books, including Just Do Something. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have nine children: Ian, Jacob, Elizabeth, Paul, Mary, Benjamin, Tabitha, Andrew, and Susannah.