Søren Kierkegaard, a nineteenth-century Danish theologian and social critic, once wrote in his journal, “The result of busyness is that an individual is very seldom permitted to form a heart.” We sense in our souls he is right. Unrelenting busyness — running here and there, late and in haste, always with more to do than we have time for — stifles the life of the heart.

Yet I fear that many in the church, especially those of us in various forms of leadership, often pursue that very busyness. We occasionally warn others about burnout and stress, but we are constantly in motion, endlessly feeling harassed by all that clamors to be done and feeling guilty for projects we haven’t completed. And we frequently pass that stress on to others, in subtle but destructive ways — we are busy, so we can act like everyone else should be busy. If they are not, we can treat them as lazy or negligent.

But is our problem primarily that we are not more productive, or is it that we have allowed unrealistic expectations to distort our vision of faithfulness? While it’s very likely that we could become better organized and more efficient, pursuing those efforts may feed and hide the true problem rather than helping it. What if the heart of our trouble is not time management, but something else? What if the goal of Christian life isn’t merely to get more done? And if that’s true, why do many of us feel a need to fill every moment either with items we can check off a to-do list or with mindless distraction? Binge-watching television and hours spent on social media may be more symptoms than causes of our problems, signs of a deeper malady.

What if God doesn’t expect us to be productive every moment? What if growing comfortable with slowness, with quiet, with not filling every moment can help reconnect us to God, others, and even with our own humanity? That’s at least worth thinking about.

Unexamined Expectations

While it was Ben Franklin, and not the apostle Paul, who observed that “time is money,” we Americans have baptized that sentiment — not to derive financial benefit from every moment, but because somehow we have the idea that every minute should yield positive measurable results. Don’t just sit around; do something!

Of course, diligence, a good work ethic, and innovation typically do make life better for ourselves and others. Sometimes, however, a genuine good can become a horrible master, and when productivity and efficiency become our highest goals, our world and our lives suffer. That’s because God’s highest value is not productivity and efficiency, but love (Matthew 22:37–39; 1 Corinthians 16:14).

This sounds too abstract, so let’s turn to more direct questions about our own lives. What do you think God expects of you in any given day? If you are like me, this question can reveal some painful disconnects in our perception of God and the faithful life. I recently spoke with a pastor in the Midwest who told me that, when he was in college, he got so excited about the idea that he should “make every minute count” and “redeem the time” that he and his friends mapped out how they could live on four hours of sleep a night; this way, they could “do so much more for Christ.”

Twenty years later, this once strong and zealous servant of Christ was physically, emotionally, psychologically, and relationally broken. His faith, his family, and his ministry were all on the brink of collapse. He certainly wouldn’t trace all of his problems to his early zeal and oversized projects, but he does see how that pattern distorted his life, increasing his expectations not just for how much he should do in a day, but for how much he should accomplish in his life. We may easily dismiss his crazy idea of four hours of sleep per night, but my guess is many of us are living with similar assumptions, and it is hurting us.

One sign that unhealthy expectations are running our lives is a constant background frustration in our souls, hiding behind our smiling faces. We are exhausted by the kids, by the church, by the spouse, by the endless demands. We have no margin in life, so when someone says the wrong thing, or a child doesn’t move fast enough, or a neighbor needs help, this anger tries to burst through our kindness. People are keeping us from doing what we need to do! Efficiency and productivity have replaced love as our highest value.

Gift of Slow

Maybe in order not to waste our lives, you and I need to learn the benefit of “wasting” some time. Let me explain.

What we think of as boredom or unproductive time can be a great gift. In the spaces opened by moments of slowness, if we don’t immediately fill them with more tasks or distractions, surprising things often happen: our bodies breathe and relax a bit, our imaginations open up, and our hearts can consider all manner of ideas. We have space to evaluate how we spoke to a colleague that morning or notice a young parent struggling with a child. Only by slowing down, and not immediately filling the space, do we start to sense God’s presence and the complexities of the world — including both its beauties and problems, our wonder and fears. We miss the world when we are constantly busy. Thus Kierkegaard’s insight: the result of busyness is that we are seldom able to form a heart. Compassion, thoughtfulness, repentance, hope, and love all grow in the soil of reflection. And healthy reflection rarely occurs when we don’t slow down.

“Compassion, thoughtfulness, repentance, hope, and love all grow in the soil of reflection.”

Busyness also stunts our growth. Creativity and wisdom require our internal freedom to reflect, wrestle, and sit with challenges. There is a reason that walks and showers are often places of great insight: the distractions are minimal, so the mind and heart can wonder.

Such periods of slowness also enrich our communion with God if we take time for mental, emotional, and even physical engagement that the overly busy life excludes. Life improves if we carve out extended times for solitude and silence. These practices have historically been used and recommended by Christians who saw that busyness made it harder to be present with God and with others. These times of silence and solitude can be difficult, especially at first. But until we grow in our ability to be alone with God — and alone with ourselves — we will have difficulty recognizing the Spirit’s presence in our day.

Forming Our Hearts

Another reason we like to be busy is that we often don’t like ourselves. Slowing down and creating space for quiet often faces us with matters we prefer to ignore, whether painful memories from our past, undesirable traits in our personality, or actions we wish we hadn’t taken. Busyness can be a way to avoid confronting our sin. It can also be our way of avoiding the wish that we were someone else, or had a different set of abilities or background or temperament. Busyness that enables avoidance can stunt our growth. Busyness makes self-knowledge very difficult.

“We miss the world when we are constantly busy.”

Rather than being honest with God and ourselves about our hurts, sins, motivations, and disappointments, we dull our sensitivity with busyness. It takes courage to let moments remain unoccupied, but when we are willing to enter open spaces with an open heart, God can bring serious healing and growth.

We also gain more courage to enter such spaces when we live in a community of faith that is safe and loving, where others don’t panic or shut down in the face of our pain and shortcomings. When others are comfortable with quiet, mystery, and unfinished work, secure enough in Christ to endure messy situations, that also frees us to face this season in which God is still bringing to completion that which he began (Philippians 1:6): God is comfortable with process, too. We learn to avoid endless busyness when embracing slowness becomes not merely a personal value, but that of our community. Learning to go slower and maybe even “waste” more time together opens up fresh spaces to grow in our awareness of God’s presence and work. We start to become people who can, in the slowness, pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), often without realizing that is what’s happening.

Slowing down — not filling every moment with distractions, dropping the compulsion to squeeze productivity out of every moment — allows us to hear God and others. It gives our imagination and creativity oxygen to breathe, and we start to develop a heart. It opens up the path of love. So go ahead, “waste” some time, because this may keep you from wasting your life.

I’m a baptist — a very happy baptist — but you don’t need to capitalize the b for me. First and foremost, I’m a Christian, identifying primarily with Christ, and only secondarily with my dear baptist brothers and sisters.

We baptists sometimes encounter a tension created by our baptistic convictions: How do we, as baptists, orient to those whose baptismal belief and practice differ from ours? In particular, how do we relate to paedobaptist individuals and churches?

Paedobaptism (from the Greek root paedo for “child”) is the practice of baptizing the children of believers in infancy, in anticipation of their profession of faith in Christ. Rather than baptizing after someone professes faith, as credobaptists do (credo for “faith”), paedobaptists regard baptism as the New Testament counterpart to Old Testament circumcision. Therefore, they administer the visible, public sign of the covenant to children of Christians.

Now, we baptists believe that paedobaptists err in their baptismal theology and practice. We think they’ve got it wrong. At the same time, we don’t believe that rightly understanding and applying baptism is essential for someone to be a true Christian. We regard sincere, Christ-loving paedobaptists as our brothers and sisters, and we want to celebrate our common confession of faith in the triune God and our salvation in Jesus Christ.

Two Impulses

This creates a tension between two impulses. First, there’s the baptist impulse — we want to teach and practice according to our credobaptistic convictions. We believe that baptism is a visible sign of invisible realities. Baptism is public and objective, like a wedding ceremony. And like a wedding ceremony, in baptism God makes promises to us, we receive those promises by faith, and we also make promises to him. God promises to forgive our sins and transform our lives, and we promise to trust Jesus and follow him as Lord, Savior, and Treasure. In baptism, we publicly identify with Christ, and he publicly identifies with us. We say, “You are our God,” and God says, “You are my people.” And as credobaptists, we believe that only those who have made a credible profession of faith should be baptized.

“Christians ought to have a holy instinct to recognize and welcome all genuine Christians as visible saints in the Lord.”

On the other hand, there’s what we might call the catholicity impulse. The word catholic here doesn’t refer to the Roman Catholic Church, but instead means universal. This is the recognition that the people of God, Christ’s church, is bigger than our local church, bigger than our denomination, bigger than our theological tribe. As the Apostles’ Creed says, “We believe in the communion of saints.” As professing saints, we seek to maintain holy fellowship and communion in the worship of God with other Christians. Such communion ought to be extended to all those who, in every place, call upon the name of the Lord Jesus. Thus, Christians ought to have a holy instinct to recognize and welcome all genuine Christians as visible saints in the Lord, despite the various disagreements we may have with them on matters of secondary or tertiary importance.

These two impulses create a tension in how we regard the baptisms of paedobaptistic traditions. Are such paedobaptisms valid baptisms? Or are they not baptisms at all? Can we welcome those baptized as infants into church membership? Can we welcome them to the Lord’s Table?

Different Aspects of the Church

Let’s begin with the church and its government. Theologians often consider the church under different aspects.

The church as universal and invisible is composed of all those, in every time and place, who are chosen in Christ and united to him through faith by the Spirit in one body. The church as universal and visible is composed of all those who are baptized in the triune name and do not undermine that profession by foundational errors or unholy living. The church as visible and local is composed of all those in a given area who agree to gather together to hear the word of God proclaimed, engage in corporate worship, practice the ordinances of baptism and the Lord’s Supper, build each other’s faith through the manifold ministries of love, hold each other accountable in the obedience of faith through biblical discipline, and engage in local and world evangelization.

Many aspects of local-church government are matters of biblically informed prudence. Such matters are to be ordered by the light of nature as informed by the general principles of God’s word. Prudence enables us to take these general principles, derived from general and special revelation, and wisely apply them in concrete settings.

Two areas of church government that are to be ordered by biblically informed prudence are, first, the requirements and expectations for membership in the local church, and second, the requirements and expectation for leadership in the local church. Membership in the local church is an inference from biblical passages that assume an identifiable body of believers (such that individuals may exercise and be subject to church discipline) as well as the pastor-elders’ responsibility to oversee a particular people.

The Scriptures teach, both by precept and example, that the requirements for leadership in the church are higher than the requirements for membership in the church. In keeping with that expectation, it is prudent to expect a greater degree of theological knowledge and clarity from leaders than members.

Thus, it seems prudent for membership in the local church to be extended to all those who profess faith in Christ and apprehend the foundational truths of the gospel. Likewise, it seems prudent for leadership in the local church to be restricted to those who are able to teach the whole counsel of God. For example, in my own church, while members are not required to be Reformed in their soteriology or complementarian in their anthropology in order to join, leaders are required to hold these convictions in order to teach and govern.

Baptism and Church Membership

How then does baptism factor in? As the Desiring God Affirmation of Faith puts it,

Baptism is an ordinance of the Lord by which those who have repented and come to faith (Acts 2:38; Colossians 2:12) express their union with Christ (1 Corinthians 12:3) in his death and resurrection (Romans 6:3–4), by being immersed (Acts 8:36–39; Romans 6:4) in water in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19). It is a sign of belonging to the new people of God (Mark 1:4–5; Romans 2:28–29; Galatians 3:7), the true Israel, and an emblem of burial and cleansing (Hebrews 10:22), signifying death to the old life of unbelief, and purification from the pollution of sin. (12.3)

Baptism marks entrance into the universal and visible church and is a prerequisite for membership in the visible, local church. Expressing it this way accounts for the fact that Christians are not re-baptized every time they join a new local congregation. Instead, like a passport, their one baptism is recognized by all subsequent congregations as meeting this requirement for membership.

This definition of baptism includes four elements:

water
in the triune name
by immersion
after repentance and faith in Christ

Essentially all Christians regard the first two elements as essential for a baptism to be valid. Many baptists regard the third element as important, but not essential. In other words, many baptist churches accept sprinkling and pouring baptisms of professing believers as “valid but improper” or “true but irregular” baptisms. The question concerns the fourth element. Is the administration of baptism after repentance and faith an essential element of a baptism?

Some baptists say yes. These baptists (so far as I’m aware, the majority of current baptists in America) deny that paedobaptisms are baptisms at all. Because they believe that baptism should be applied only to professing believers, those who have had water sprinkled on them as infants have not been baptized. At the same time, nearly all of them also believe that there are genuine Christians who have wrong baptismal theology and wrong practice.

However, this position creates a number of confusions and inconsistencies. For example, this position sends conflicting messages to non-baptists. It says, “We regard you as a believer, but we cannot receive you into membership in our church, nor welcome you to the Lord’s Table without your being (re)baptized as a believer. Your baptismal error is so significant that it bars you from membership, even though it doesn’t prevent us from being ‘together for the gospel.’”

Moreover, since a right administration of the ordinances is a necessary mark of a true church, such a position seems to deny that paedobaptist churches are churches at all, since they fail to baptize their members. And because they fail to baptize their members, it would seem that they are likewise unable to eat the Lord’s Supper, since the family meal requires the presence of a proper family.

In contrast, I would argue that while water and the triune name are essential to baptism, the other two elements are important for the proper administration of baptism, but not essential for the validity of baptism. In other words, the proper mode of baptism is immersion, and the proper timing of baptism is after one has believed. Nevertheless, one can err on these elements and still administer and receive a valid baptism.

Valid but Improper

Paedobaptisms, then, may be regarded as valid but improper baptisms. The use of water in the triune name (or the name of Jesus, Acts 2:38; 10:48; 19:5) to mark entrance into the visible church establishes the baptism as valid. Sprinkling or pouring the water (rather than immersion), as well as the application of water to infants, renders the baptisms as improper.

“Paedobaptisms may be regarded as valid but improper baptisms.”

The result is that we are able to duly honor both the baptist impulse and the catholicity impulse. As baptists, the leaders of the church teach the biblical meaning of baptism and practice the proper administration of baptism. At the same time, we are able to regard paedobaptist churches that embrace the foundational truths of the gospel as genuine churches, despite their error on baptism. Indeed, recognizing their baptisms as valid is one of the fundamental ways we acknowledge them as true churches.

Guided by biblically informed prudence, then, we might regard all valid baptisms — including those that are improper with respect to mode and timing — as sufficient prerequisites for church membership, provided there is a credible profession of faith. What’s more, we might consider such valid baptisms sufficient as prerequisites for participation in the Lord’s Supper, provided the Table is guarded as being only for those who trust in Jesus alone for the forgiveness of sins.

Audio Transcript

On Monday we looked at humor. In what ways is a humorous personality a liability? That was APJ 1813. The answer there was that humor can be stewarded well. The key is developing sober-mindedness — an awareness that doesn’t abolish humor, but puts humor in its place and protects things that are greater and more glorious. To be sober-minded, as we saw, is to cultivate a “demeanor that corresponds to the weight of the great things of life.” Which means we must avoid being “obsessed” with humor to the point that we become “incapable of serious moments” and “allergic” to them to the point that we become quick to break serious moments with injected humor. In other words, we must learn to tremble before God. This word is especially relevant to the tone of our Sunday gatherings together.

And that brings us to today. In the presence of God, everything trembles. The earth trembles, according to Psalm 114:7: “Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob.” The psalmist trembles in Psalm 119:120: “My flesh trembles for fear of you, and I am afraid of your judgments.” Indeed, the one who trembles at God’s word, that person catches God’s attention, according to what he tells us in Isaiah 66:2: “But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.” And in the New Testament, Paul calls us in Philippians 2:12 —Christians — to “work out” our salvation “with fear and trembling.”

So why do Christians tremble? Here’s Pastor John to explain, from a 2005 sermon.

Here’s Revelation 19:15: “From his mouth comes a sharp sword [now, this is describing Jesus at his second coming] with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty.” Now, that last sentence is exceedingly terrible. “He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty.”

Almighty Fury

Just make four observations:

1. God is “Almighty.” We are not dealing here with a mere president of the United States, the mere premier of China. We’re dealing here with the person whose power includes all the power of the political realm, and all the power of the electromagnetic realm, and all the power of the atomic realm, and all the power of the gravitational pull of the biggest stars in the universe, and all the power that upholds the universe by the word of his might. We are dealing here with what’s called Almighty — omnipotence, absolute sovereignty — and he is angry.

2. The second observation is that this Almighty God is about to pour out his wrath. So, he is a God of love (the Bible is clear about that) and he is also a God of justice and holiness and wrath (the Bible is very clear about that). We need to know God as he is, not as we make him up to be.

3. The third observation is that this wrath is full of fury — “the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty.” It’s not a cool opposition. It’s not emotionally indifferent. It is a furiously angry wrath.

4. The fourth observation, and it’s the most terrible, is that it is like Christ treading a winepress in which the unbelieving are under his feet, and their blood flows like wine from the winepress.

That’s the image of the beloved apostle John, among others. And my point today is this should produce a certain appropriate emotional response in us.

Favor for the Trembling

Psalm 114:7: “Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob.” Psalm 119:120: “My flesh trembles for fear of you, and I am afraid of your judgments.” That’s a very godly man talking. Isaiah 66:2: “This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble [this is God talking] and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.” God’s countenance shines with favorable grace upon trembling people.

“God’s countenance shines with favorable grace upon trembling people.”

Or here’s the New Testament testimony that we should all heed. Philippians 2:12: “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” To all believers, the Bible says, “Get on the road that leads to life. And if necessary, cut off your hands to stay there; gouge out your eyes to stay there. This is war, all the way to heaven. And as you go, let there be fear and trembling upon this road.”

This is not something you grow out of as you get more mature as a Christian. “Oh, maybe you start afraid, and then later on there’s no fear and trembling.” This is something that immature Christians must necessarily grow into, not something you grow out of.

Our Dread and Sanctuary

To which you should perhaps respond, “But doesn’t the Bible teach, ‘Fear not,’ dozens of places? Doesn’t it say, ‘Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God’ (Isaiah 41:10)? So, what are you saying about the ‘fear not’ passages if you’re calling us to experience normal Christianity as fear and trembling?”

What does “fear not” mean? It means two things:

It means fear God, not man.
It means don’t fear God as your enemy; fear him as one who was your enemy, and who is very great.

Let me give you a text for each of those. Fear God, not man: “Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28). This is the way I would put it: “Fear distrusting God; don’t fear displeasing men.” Let it be a terrifying prospect to you to distrust your God, but don’t let it be at all a terrifying prospect to you to displease your enemy who might cut off your head. That’s all they can do: cut off your head. But God, after the head has been cut off, can cast the soul into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear distrusting God. Fear turning away from God.

“Don’t fear God as your enemy; fear him as one who was your enemy, and who is very great.”

Isaiah 8:12 puts it this way — this is a paradoxical verse: “Do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread. But the Lord of hosts . . . let him be your fear, and let him be your dread. And he will become a sanctuary” (Isaiah 8:12–14).

It’s like when my son Karsten visited Dick Teagan at age six. There was this big German shepherd who met him eye to eye in the doorway at age six. And he was very much afraid. And Dick said, “Don’t be afraid; she’s very friendly.” We sent Karsten to the car to get something we’d forgotten, and he went trotting out to the car, and this dog comes loping up behind him with a deep rumble in her voice. It did not look like this dog was safe. And Dick hollered out to him, “Oh, Karsten, better not run away from her. She doesn’t like people to run away from her.”

And I took mental note: “That’s going into a sermon, because that’s exactly the way God is.” He’s a very friendly God. He just doesn’t like people to run away from him. And he will lope after you with a deep rumble in his voice. And if you don’t heed that rumble and turn and hug his neck, you’re going to be history forever.

http://rss.desiringgod.org/link/10732/15454401/what-is-saving-faith

A family reunion — what could be better than enjoying the company of family members who are also my dearest friends? But even the dearest relationships take nurturing.

As a mother-in-law, I have enjoyed an ever-widening family circle. My daughter-in-law Stacy loves not only my son, but also our family, and by God’s grace, me too. But how do I keep my relationship with this delightful woman growing in the right direction? Family gatherings help. Yet these reunions can create the perfect storm for unmet expectations, even in the best of these relationships.

Wanting to create lasting memories for my family, I planned a special trip. I expected everyone to follow the mental script I’d written for each scene. I bet you can guess what we found instead. My son and daughter-in-law had not read my script, and they came with their own dreams!

Good desires easily become unreasonable expectations. What should I have known? To be flexible with my plan. Ask what others would like to do. Whatever you’re planning, don’t write the script for other people and expect them to follow your plans. Ask yourself, “Are my expectations in sync with God?” Our Father puts us into families. We can ask him to give us all we need to nurture those relationships wisely.

Do you hope to nourish an in-law relationship? Who God is and what he says in his word show us how to love well.

1. Expect God to meet you with his love.

Mothers-in-law don’t expect a son and daughter-in-law to need ongoing parenting. Yet many mothers fall into the trap of setting an internal alarm for when to expect calls and visits. It’s easy to feel replaced and forgotten when the phone doesn’t ring, or a date is not set. Have unmet expectations led you to think the worst? Here’s the truth: as we draw close to God daily, he purifies our longings and meets us with his love (Psalm 37:4).

“Our Father delights to give us what we need to love our daughter-in-law as he loves us.”

True love — the love we need — is the unfailing love God gives to us in Christ. Before the foundation of the world, God in Christ committed to love us (Romans 5:8). Jesus shows us what true love looks like. The Bible — his voice — speaks words of comfort and guidance. His Spirit — his presence — gives us the power to love as he loves. We learn that our Father delights to give us what we need to love our daughters-in-law as he loves us (Psalm 62:8; Hebrews 11:6).

In our years as in-laws, Stacy and I have had much heart-searching and relational digging to work through. What have I learned about loving her well? First, I need to remember always that we do indeed love each other. I also need to remember that sin can twist anything, even good desires and intentions. But God’s grace is more powerful than sin (Romans 5:20). I can ask God not only to show me where my good desires went wrong, but also how to change.

And God gives not only the power to change, but the power to persevere (Romans 5:3–5). God will give you the commitment you need to love well. He will help you show up to do what love requires — no matter what the other person is doing. Spirit-enabled commitment nurtures true love (Ruth 1:15–18). Jesus’s committed love for us frees us to love well without expectations.

2. Expect God not to leave you as you are.

Everyone knows that brides begin a marriage with dreams. But a mother-in-law comes into this new relationship with dreams too. Whether it’s special holiday recipes or a trip to the lake every summer, many mothers expect the new daughter-in-law to carry on some of her family traditions. Has she forgotten how a new bride looks forward to starting traditions of her own? Can two women of different generations, personalities, and backgrounds expect to relate well to one another? We naturally prefer trying to change each other.

Our differences lay the groundwork for misunderstandings. Thanks to fallen human nature, we also see faults in each other more easily than in ourselves (Matthew 7:3–5). We want our own way and battle with emotions — anger, resentment, frustration — when we don’t get it. So do we throw our hands up in the air and give up? No. If we give up now, we’ll miss out on a chance not only to know God better, but to become more like his Son (Philippians 2:4–6).

“Submit your unmet expectations to God, and you will avoid the trap of trying to manipulate those you love.”

God’s ways are different. He’ll use our in-law relationship to produce something good: life-giving change in us. Submit your unmet expectations to him, and you will avoid the trap of trying to manipulate those you love. A wise mother asks God for help to recognize her blind spots and repent quickly of jealousy and pride. She puts an end to viewing the relationship as a competition. Jesus wants to do far more than expose the ugly truth that lurks within us — he wants to deliver us from ourselves and plant his transforming love within us (Galatians 5:13–15, 22–23).

3. Expect God to do more than you expect.

Like driving without my glasses, trying to steer my family’s course without God’s wisdom can cause major damage. No matter what, I can’t see around the next curve in the road. But our Father’s infinite wisdom never disappoints. He is always sovereign, and he is always good. In love, he made you and your daughter-in-law family.

Look at what he did for Naomi and Ruth. Naomi was a mother-in-law who felt hopeless. She knew God was always sovereign — but she had forgotten that he is also always good. God never abandoned Naomi. He gave her Ruth to love. And he gave Naomi to Ruth. Ruth and Naomi weren’t perfect in-laws. We won’t be perfect either. But praise God, he uses flawed people. He’ll use you in your in-law’s life.

But God does even more. God used Naomi and Ruth’s relationship as part of his plan to save the world through Ruth’s descendent, the Lord Jesus. These women trusted God, but neither of them knew how God would use their committed-to-love-each-other relationship. And Naomi and Ruth are still impacting the world with God’s transforming love. This is great news for us — God always has a bigger story in view. Your relationship with your daughter-in-law is not only about the two of you. Hold on to the truth that God is directing your family’s course. He is doing more than you can now imagine for you, for her, for your son, for your grandchildren, and for the generations who come after you.

4. Expect God to use the pain you feel for good.

Every mother-in-law must come to grips with change. Change is good, but it also means loss. You value God’s plan for your son and his new bride to “leave and cleave” (Genesis 2:24). So why does giving up your long-standing first-place position hurt so much? I can say from personal experience that learning to deal with loss in a godly way is hard.

So what are we to do? Perhaps you feel dethroned from your rightful place. Thank God for challenging you, and hang on to this unchanging truth: your identity is in Christ. Your role in life changes many times, but you remain God’s child forever. He is not using this change to destroy you. He is growing you into the woman he created you to be. Praise him! As God works for your good in the in-law relationship, he will be glorified.

Understand your new role — to serve. Jesus taught us that his followers will deny themselves (Luke 9:23). When he washed his disciples’ feet, Jesus showed us that we do not find true greatness in exalting ourselves (John 13:12–17). Greatness comes as we humble ourselves to serve others (Philippians 2:1–11). You may ask, “Haven’t I always served my family?” But a mother serves her family like a team captain in the game, while a mother-in-law serves her family from the sidelines. She’s ready to cheer and help the injured, but she is not in the game. What feels at first like loss, though, is truly gain. God is glorified as we love, forgive, pray, and encourage our son and daughter-in-law’s marriage relationship.

Power of a Praying In-Law

Whatever your summer plans for your family, know that God is doing something bigger and more glorious than you can imagine. Through prayer, God gives a mother-in-law the great privilege of participating in his plans.

When we pray, he frees us from our misplaced expectations. He anchors our heart’s desire in himself. And he syncs our expectations with his. God is “able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20) — and he often starts with our own hearts.

Like J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress is a road trip. It recounts the journey that Christian makes from the City of Destruction to the Celestial City, along with the many encounters he has along the way. Technically, Pilgrim’s Progress comes in two parts, the second part narrating the same journey that Christian’s wife, Christiana, and her four boys make. In some notable ways, the second part offers a more balanced portrayal of the Christian journey to heaven.

Almost everyone is acquainted with Pilgrim’s Progress in some way or another because many of the characters — Worldly Wiseman, Pliable, Obstinate, Formalist, Talkative, Giant Despair — and locations — the wilderness of this world, Vanity Fair, By-Path-Meadow, Slough of Despond, Doubting Castle, Delectable Mountains — are used in everyday conversation.

Many, like C.H. Spurgeon, may boast of having read Pilgrim’s Progress many times, but what might a first-time reader expect?

Bible in Every Line

First, Pilgrim’s Progress reveals Bunyan’s belief in the absolute authority of Scripture. Nearly every line reflects a Bible verse or passage. It was Spurgeon who said that if you pricked Bunyan, his blood would be “Bibline.”

A section from the second part displays Bunyan’s esteem for Scripture, as Prudence catechizes young Matthew:

Pru. What do you think of the Bible?Mat. It is the Holy Word of God.Pru. Is there nothing written there but what you understand?Mat. Yes, a great deal.Pru. What do you do when you meet with such places therein that you do not understand?Mat. I think God is wiser than I. I pray also that he will please to let me know all therein that he knows will be for my good. (Pilgrim’s Progress, 228)

Losing Our Burden

Second, Pilgrim’s Progress includes a strong emphasis on conversion. A long time passes before Christian’s great burden of sin is removed, rolling down the hill and into the tomb. Why does it take Christian so long? Why the prolonged, effortful struggle with sin before finding relief and assurance? Was Bunyan attempting to suggest that this is how all conversions take place? Was he deliberately attacking a form of easy-believism, suggesting that would-be Christians needed to pass through an agonizing struggle before conversion? Bunyan was accused of such after the first edition of Pilgrim’s Progress was published in 1678.

Far from attempting some form of “preparationism” (as some view it today), however, Bunyan was telling his own story. He wrestled with the guilt of sin for several years before he came to assurance. And perhaps it is best to understand what happened when the burden fell from Christian’s shoulders as the moment when Christian was given assurance rather than the moment of his actual conversion. (It is interesting to note, in passing, that in part 2, the conversions of Christiana and the four boys are far less stressful.)

Justification for the Ungodly

Third, Pilgrim’s Progress reveals a firm grasp of substitutionary atonement. At one point, Hopeful (who lived in Vanity Fair but joins Christian following the death of Faithful in the city) is interrogated by Faithful and Christian as to his conversion. Before his death, Faithful tells Hopeful, “Unless I could obtain the Righteousness of a man that never had sinned, neither mine own, nor all the Righteousness of the World could save me.” To which Christian asks, “And did you ask him what man this was, and how you must be justified by him?” This is Hopeful’s answer:

Yes, and he told me it was the Lord Jesus Christ, that dwelleth on the right hand of the Most High. And thus, said he, you must be justified by him, even by trusting to what he hath done by himself in the days of his Flesh, and suffered when he did hang on the Tree. I asked him further, how that man’s Righteousness could be of that Efficacy, to justify another before God? And he told me, he was the mighty God, and did what he did; and died the Death also, not for himself but for me; to whom his doings, and the worthiness of them should be Imputed if I believed on him. (143)

The story goes on to relate how difficult it was for Hopeful to believe, and how he eventually prayed a “sinner’s prayer”:

God be merciful to me a sinner, and make me to know and believe in Jesus Christ; for I see, if his Righteousness had not been, or I have not faith in that Righteousness, I am utterly cast away: Lord, I have heard that thou art a merciful God and hast ordained that thy Son Jesus Christ should be the Saviour of the world. And moreover, thou art willing to bestow him upon such a poor sinner as I am (and I am a sinner indeed); Lord, take therefore this opportunity, and magnify thy Grace in the salvation of my soul, through thy Son Jesus Christ, Amen. (144)

Hopeful says he prayed this prayer “an hundred times twice told,” until at last, the Father showed him his Son.

I did not see him with my Bodily eyes, but with the eyes of my understanding; and thus it was. One day I was very sad, I think sadder than at any time in my life; and this sadness was through a fresh sight of the greatness and vileness of my Sins. And as I was then looking for nothing but hell, and the everlasting damnation of my Soul, suddenly, as I thought, I saw the Lord Jesus looking down from Heaven upon me, and saying, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. (145)

We could go on, but this excerpt is sufficient to show the evangelical nature of Bunyan’s doctrine of conversion.

‘He Who Suffers, Conquers’

Fourth, Pilgrim’s Progress places the difficulty of the Christian life center stage. Bunyan knew all about trials. He could recall with the apostle Paul, “Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). Along with a contemporary Puritan preacher, John Geere, Bunyan could have adopted as his life motto vincit qui patitur — “he who suffers,
conquers.”

Bunyan was arrested and imprisoned in 1660 for preaching illegally. He would spend the next twelve years in a prison cell in Bedford, England, and three years following his release, he would be imprisoned again for six months. Pilgrim’s Progress was begun in a prison cell and completed during his second imprisonment. During these years, he suffered bouts of deep anxiety, which one contemporary psychiatrist has labeled “obsessional disorders.”

“No one can read ‘Pilgrim’s Progress’ without learning how difficult the Christian life can become.”

No one can read Pilgrim’s Progress without learning how difficult the Christian life can become. The near-suicidal few days that Christian and Faithful spend in the dungeons of Doubting Castle at the hands of Giant Despair and his equally morose wife, and the later battle scene with Apollyon, are some of the most graphic descriptions of trial and tribulation in all literature. And then there is Vanity Fair, where Beelzebub is in charge. It is here that Faithful is martyred.

To prepare Christian for the arduousness of the journey, he is initially taken to the House of Interpreter, where he is shown, among other sights, valiant men armed with swords and protected by a helmet, “cutting and hacking most fiercely” (36). All this reminds us of the portrayal of the Christian soldier in Ephesians 6.

Final River

Fifth, in true Puritan style, Pilgrim’s Progress not only prepares us to live the Christian life; it also prepares us to die the Christian’s death. The account of Hopeful and Christian crossing the river that leads to the Celestial City is among the most moving in the allegory. Surprisingly, Christian is filled with doubts at the last, and several times he sinks beneath the water, only to be rescued by his friend. Hopeful tells Christian,

These troubles and distresses that you go through in these Waters, are no sign that God hath forsaken you; but are sent to try you, whether you will call to mind that which heretofore you have received of his goodness, and live upon him in your distresses.

And Christian responds,

Oh I see him again; and he tells me, When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the Rivers, they shall not overflow thee. (159)

“‘Pilgrim’s Progress’ not only prepares us to live the Christian life; it also prepares us to die the Christian’s death.”

It has been said of eighteenth-century Methodists that they died well. Bunyan, with his pastoral heart, allowed Christian to waver a little at the end in order that his Christian readers might be given sufficient grace should they, too, waver when their time comes.

The very final paragraph in part 1 is among the most shocking that I have read. When I first read Pilgrim’s Progress, in my teens, I was not prepared for what Bunyan wrote, and I recall crying out loud, “No way!” To recount it here would require a spoiler alert, and my advice to you, if you’re reading it for the first time, is not to be tempted to read the last paragraph until you have read the whole book.

Audio Transcript

We have talked about the deadening power of the entertainment age in which we live. Just recently we saw this in APJ 1811. And we have talked a lot on this podcast over the years about the flippancy of the age, and of how humor and glibness sort of works its way into the language of the church if we’re not careful. On this point, I’m reminded of APJs 328 and 905, where we address that directly.

But here’s an interesting question about humor from a listener named Brian. “Hi, Pastor John! A question I have wondered about for a while is these commands to Christians in general, and requirements for elders specifically, that we be sober-minded. I see this in texts like 1 Timothy 3:2, 11; 2 Timothy 4:5; Titus 2:2; 1 Peter 1:13; 4:7; 5:8. I ask because my question is about humor. My default mode is outgoing and humorous. So I’ve wondered if maybe this is something I must repent of. I can understand not wanting to make light of things that are serious or holy. But do these commands to be sober-minded mean we should be serious all the time?”

There are several different Greek words behind the idea of sober or sober-mindedness. The basic idea is either “not drunk” (and all that implies as it applies to our mind) or the more general way we use it — namely, thoughtful, self-controlled, without any reference to drunkenness. In both cases, the import is the same: a mind that is alert and clear, and able to take reality into account for what it really is, and process things wisely, and draw informed and insightful judgments from what we observe and think about.

Three Aspects of Sober-Mindedness

In January of this year, Joe Rigney, the president of Bethlehem College & Seminary, where I serve as chancellor and teach preaching, gave a message in chapel on this very theme of sober-mindedness. And I found it very helpful. I think you can probably go to the BCS website and find it, but it was really illuminating for me. I remember even now, he drew out three implications from biblical texts for what sober-mindedness is, especially for younger Christians like our students:

clarity of mind
stability of soul
readiness for action

And we can see all three of these features of sober-mindedness if we just look at the three uses of the word in 1 Peter, without even going to Paul’s letters or anywhere else. And then when we look at these, I’ll turn around and say something about Brian’s particular question about how humor fits into sober-mindedness.

So first, 1 Peter 1:13: “Preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” So you can hear readiness for action and a clear head that focuses on the hope of Christ rather than being cluttered and confused by worldly distractions.

Second, 1 Peter 4:7: “The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.” And you can hear the need for stability of soul because of how fraught with instability the end times will be. People easily fall prey to hysteria and conspiracy thinking and lose their footing and their stability. So don’t do that; be sober-minded, for the end of all things is at hand.

And third, 1 Peter 5:8: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” And you can hear the call for alertness to lion-prowling and a readiness to act in defense of your soul against this lion and the need for stability of soul, because living with a constant awareness that we have a supernatural enemy could easily throw us off balance. And we need very much to think straight and clear and biblically about our adversary and not lose our bearings or our soul’s stability.

President Rigney went on then to make application to the particular challenges of our culture, which are remarkably pressing today. Sober-mindedness turns out to be really in short supply and really needed, he argued, and I think he’s right. And you can check that out for yourself.

Sober-Minded, Not Silly

But Brian’s question is different. He says, “My question is about humor. My default mode is pretty outgoing and humorous. So I have wondered if maybe this is something I must repent of. I can understand not wanting to make light of things that are serious or holy, but does the command to be sober-minded mean we should be serious all the time?” Interesting question.

I need to define some terms here. I wonder if, when Brian uses the word serious, he might mean in his assumptions something like somber or dour or glum or the weighty look of the furrowed brow that you bring into every situation. If he does mean that by serious, then the answer is no, sober-mindedness does not imply that. But the way I use the word serious is this: its opposite is silliness, not joy. Silliness is the opposite of serious. Immaturity, trifling, frivolous, flippant, petty — those are the opposite of serious in my vocabulary. And I think sober-mindedness does prevent that kind of trifling humor.

“Sober-mindedness is the demeanor that corresponds to the weight of the things of life, the great things of life.”

Sober-mindedness is the demeanor that corresponds to the weight of the things of life, the great things of life. It is possible to be sober-minded and have elements of humor in our life. But it’s hard to be sober-minded and at the same time be the kind of person that we’ve all met, who is obsessed with being funny, so obsessed that he’s incapable of serious moments. He is actually allergic to them. I’ve known people like this. They are allergic to serious moments. If a serious moment starts to happen, they’re the first to break the mood with some pun or something. They can’t take it. They have to say something quick to break what they consider a seriousness that they don’t know what to do with. They’re just emotionally incapable of relaxing and enjoying seriousness. And that’s what I would warn Brian against. You don’t want to be that way.

Sober-Minded, Not Somber

On the other hand, unbroken seriousness of a melodramatic or somber kind inevitably communicates a sickness of soul to the great mass of people. And they’re right. This is partly because life as God created it is not like that. There are, for example, little babies in the world who are not the least impressed with our passion or zeal or sober looks. They are cooing and smiling and calling for their daddies to get down on the floor and play with them.

And the daddy who cannot do this because he’s so serious will not understand the true seriousness of sin, because he’s not capable of enjoying what God has preserved from its ravages. He’s really a sick man and unfit to lead others into health. He is, in the end, sober-minded about being sober-minded, not sober-minded about being joyful.

“The real battle in life is to be as happy in God as we can be.”

The real battle in life is to be as happy in God as we can be. And that takes a very special kind of sober-mindedness. It is significant, isn’t it, that the first use of sober-mindedness, in 1 Peter 1:13, puts it in the service of hope: “Being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” What could be happier, right? What could be happier than hope? Put your sober-mindedness to work for making sure that you remain hopeful and joyful as a Christian. That’s the great task of sober-mindedness.

So, Brian, there’s no conflict between sober-mindedness and joy at all. This is real joy, strong joy, stable joy, spiritually alert joy, ready-to-act joy. If your humor serves that, then praise God and go for it.

“Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other?”

I don’t remember the specific time and place I first read these memorable words in A.W. Tozer’s classic The Pursuit of God. But I do know that as a college sophomore and junior I read the whole of chapter 7, “The Gaze of the Soul,” over and over again. My tattered 1990s paperback has plenty of proof. Tozer continues,

[Pianos] are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which one must individually bow. So one hundred worshipers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become “unity” conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship. (90)

Even when I first read it, the piano-tuning resonated. Now, two decades later, the rough and tumble of adult life in my twenties and thirties has deeply confirmed it. And in the past two-plus years — which some of us consider the most generally divisive we’ve lived through — Tozer’s word about finding “closer fellowship” through a shared Godward gaze (rather than “unity” consciousness or focus) shines with fresh light.

We need not simply take Tozer’s word for it, though. We have biblical granite for this: the “vivid little psalm,” as Derek Kidner calls it, that is Psalm 133. “Behold,” the psalmist begins, “how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”

Longing for Lost Unity?

The psalm is one of the fifteen “Songs of Ascents” (Psalms 120–134) that Israelite pilgrims would rehearse as they ascended the landscape to Jerusalem for three annual feasts (Deuteronomy 16:16). Psalm 133 includes no superscript locating it at any specific event in David’s life. Some speculate that its origin was that remarkable (and brief) season of a fully unified nation under the newly established king, with the ark in Jerusalem, from 2 Samuel 6–12. Or perhaps — and this would be more arresting — the occasion was later in David’s life, in days riddled with division, intrigue, and uncertainty, as the aging king longs for the unity he experienced in his youth, and looks back on those earlier days of peace with new, more appreciative eyes.

Whatever the backdrop, David attempts to seize our rapt attention with his first word: “Behold.” Listen up. Don’t miss what I’m about to say.

Brothers Don’t Always Dwell Together

“How good and pleasant it is,” he then sings. Unity is both objectively good and subjectively pleasant — and all the more so after navigating the pains and distresses of disunity and division. Many of us know this far better now and feel it far deeper than we did not long ago.

“When brothers dwell together” echoes the language of Deuteronomy 25:5 (“If brothers dwell together . . .”) and communicates two realities. First is that “brothers” are truly, objectively brothers in some sense that formally binds them together, whether by blood or covenant. But brothers in fact does not presume brothers in function. Sadly, many brothers are estranged. Others are constantly at odds. And sometimes it’s the very bonds of brotherhood that can make it all the more difficult for brothers, of all people, to live in harmony.

The second reality, then, is their dwelling together. These brothers are not only related; they live in proximity. They get along. Psalm 133 celebrates brothers who don’t move away from each other but stay together, draw near, and “dwell in unity.” Such brothers are not only unified in blood or covenant, but in practice. They are not only brothers but neighbors — for their mutual benefit and enjoyment.

In this way, we might call this a city psalm, rather than a country psalm — urban in the best sense. It makes for beautiful words to put on the lips of pilgrims as they come together from north, south, east, and west to dwell and feast together in Jerusalem.

Running Down: Mountain Dew

What about the strange and vivid pictures in the next two verses? Let’s turn first to the stranger image (at least to modern readers), then come back to oil on the head.

Verse 3 claims that such unity, brothers dwelling together, “is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion!” Hermon was (and is) the tallest mountain in the region, sitting at the northern border of the united kingdom in David’s day. Hermon is four times the height of Zion (Jerusalem) and had a reputation in that arid region as a mountain of moisture and heavy dew. At its height, it gathers snow, which melts and runs off. Its springs feed the Jordan River, which runs south to the Sea of Galilee, then further south to the Dead Sea. Hermon was proverbial for heavy dew, and was the source of life-sustaining water to those who lived below and beyond.

In an arid land like Israel, where is little to no rainfall during the summer (from May to September), even dew is seen as a blessing (Isaiah 18:4), falling from above (Proverbs 3:20; Haggai 1:10; Zechariah 8:12), indeed from God himself (Micah 5:7). The “dew of heaven” drops as life-giving, life-sustaining mercy (Isaiah 26:19) — or is withheld in divine severity. Dew, then, serves a sign of God’s blessing (Deuteronomy 33:28; 2 Samuel 1:21).

Yet, dew comes at night and goes away quickly (Hosea 6:4; 13:3). Unlike a thunderstorm, dew comes quietly, appearing, as it were, out of thin air, almost magically. The day ends dry, no thunder sounds, no rain showers fall overnight, yet morning dawns and the dew of life has formed — as a gift from heaven.

But what does dew have to do with unity? The key is in this falling (or “running down”) from above, which ties it to the other picture in the psalm.

Running Down: Beard Oil

Twice verse 2 accents the “running down” of anointing oil. Brothers dwelling in unity, David says, “is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!” Pair those with the running down of the Hermon’s heavy dew falling on arid Jerusalem and we have an important threefold emphasis: the blessing of unity comes from above, and often unexpectedly. In other words, God is the giver of true unity.

“Unity is a gift to be received, not achieved.”

Try as we may to be unity conscious and focused, and work as we might with human effort and strategy to establish unity, it will be thin and short-lived if it is not from God. As Kidner comments, “True unity, like all good gifts, is from above; bestowed rather than contrived, a blessing far more than an achievement” (134).

The psalm’s last line, at the end of verse 3, confirms this: “For there [Zion] the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.” Unity is a gift to be received, not achieved — and God has commanded his blessing to fall on his terms, in his timing, and in a particular place. Under the terms of the old covenant, that place was Zion.

But how, then, would the psalm guide us today? Where do we look for unity in this age, if we do not turn to unity itself?

Brothers in the Elder Brother

As the pilgrims singing Psalm 133 journeyed to Jerusalem, they looked up to Zion and, in doing so, found camaraderie with others looking up and striving toward the same hill. When they finally arrived in Jerusalem, they found themselves with brothers, having ascended the mount from all directions, dwelling together for the feast.

“True unity, deep and enduring, is the divine effect and gift of the Godward gaze.”

So too today, God would have our pilgrim gaze be upwards first. Our God, and his truth, is not the servant of human endeavors at unity. Rather true unity, deep and enduring, is the divine effect and gift of the Godward gaze. To find true unity, we look elsewhere first: up to God, through his word. And as we do, and receive God’s gift of himself, we discover others in the same pursuit. Looking deeply into the Scriptures, we find comrades also living in glad submission to God’s word and in the pursuit of his truth. In this way, unity falls on us, often surprisingly, as a blessing from heaven.

And in Christ — who is our head (Ephesians 1:22; 4:15; 5:23) and whose very title means Anointed — we now experience what those ancient pilgrims longed for, and hoped for, and could not yet fully enjoy, or even fathom. What they sought in Zion and the first covenant, we now have in Jesus, as the precious oil of divine favor runs down from his beard to us, his body. We are brothers and sisters who gather not to a single appointed temple but rally to a single anointed person, dwelling together with each other as we draw closer to him.

Pastors have no shortage of issues that they are called up to address in their ministries. The pressure to be an expert on every new issue can be daunting when thinking about everything else on the pastor’s plate. Most pastors need fewer burdens, not more. But when issues of what it means to be human surface — and this is at the center of the debate over transgenderism — it’s important that pastors seek to bring the full counsel of God’s word to bear on the issue at hand.

Having written a book on transgenderism, my purpose here is to simplify for pastors what I think are the absolute essentials for them to consider when addressing their congregations and counselees on the challenge of transgenderism.

Necessity of Nature

What is a man? What is a woman? Until just a few years ago, these questions would have hardly been controversial. But now one cannot answer them without fear of offending someone who identifies as transgender. But this is where ground zero of the debate really is: whether the category of maleness and femaleness means anything concrete at all. In theological terms, we call this ontology, which is the study of being.

When a male claims to be a female, that is not only a psychological claim, but also a philosophical and biological claim about one’s being. From Genesis 1 onward, Scripture teaches that males and females are biological and embodied beings with immutable natures. We cannot change who we are. To speak of nature is to say that there exists an ideal form and function of what something ought to be. The nature of a family, for example, is to care for and raise offspring. To say that something has a nature is to insist upon the existence of concrete purposes to that thing’s being, which supplies our understanding of what the thing in question truly is.

This is where the true debate resides. Christianity views reality through the lens of Scripture, which speaks of male and female as beings defined by their anatomical and reproductive organization (Genesis 1:26–28). Hormones or surgery cannot override the underlying realities of our genetic structure. If culture tries to define male and female apart from anatomy and reproductive organization, male and female become fluid, absurd categories. Hence where we are as a culture.

The transgender worldview is an active thwarting of one’s nature. It is akin to defying limits or swimming upstream against a current: you might try, but eventually limitations and the strength of the current are going to sweep you up against your will.

“Scripture does not allow for a dualism between the body and the ‘self.’”

This reality of nature leads to one of the most important truths: actual transgenderism does not exist. Sure, there are people who may have genuine confusion over their “gender identity” (a concept itself riddled with problems), but the idea that there are persons truly “trapped” in the wrong body is false. Scripture does not allow for such a dualism between the body and the “self.”

Reality of Flourishing

Flowing downstream from the reality of our nature as male and female is the idea that males and females should flourish in accordance with their being. Flourish is a term that describes the fullness of a thing’s being. A flourishing family is a family with no disruptions or privations undermining its operations. A thing experiences its fullness of being or excellence when it lives according to what it is and what it is designed to do.

The issue of flourishing connects to transgenderism because, from a scriptural worldview, we understand that a person can never thrive or flourish apart from living in harmony with God’s design in creation. A person might claim to flourish according to how he or she defines flourishing, but flourishing is not a term left to the eye of the beholder.

Drug addicts might see their intoxication as a form of flourishing, but this we understand as a cheapened form of flourishing that will, over time, result not in the fullness of their being but, rather, in their undoing. Defined biblically, flourishing understands and welcomes the idea of limitations and boundaries (Psalm 119:45). We are not purely autonomous beings who can create and re-create our nature and our paradigms for flourishing. Flourishing is a pathway we are called to live in line with, not against.

“True flourishing cannot come at the expense of rejecting our nature and our embodiment.”

To love our transgender-identifying neighbors is to seek their good. We cannot teach or imply that any form of transition will actually achieve what they desire: the joy of flourishing. When one reads in-depth about the scourge of depression, anxiety, and suicidality even among persons who have undergone some degree of transition, we realize something essential to this discussion: true flourishing cannot come at the expense of rejecting our nature and our embodiment. It simply cannot happen.

As time goes on, I expect to see an explosion in the number of people who experimented with transgender identities, or who even transitioned to some degree, who are living testaments to the falseness of transgender ideology. Indeed, we see these testimonies online already. Called “de-transitioners” and silenced by mainstream sources, a growing chorus of voices is warning others of the contagion-like consequences of embracing a transgender worldview.

Central to our ethics as Christians is the command to love our neighbor. This means seeking their flourishing (Matthew 7:12). Undoubtedly, activists will disagree with our motives of love. In fact, they will see our definition of love as opposite their own. To that, we must simply accept the cost of biblical conviction and do whatever we can to convey that we’re not interested in anything less than their relationship with God and their flourishing as human beings.

On one final note, I want to caution readers from thinking that every transgender-identifying person is an angry activist. That is not the case. There are activists whose identities are wrapped up in ideological warring, but there are also many people, I’m convinced, who are vulnerable and volatile persons, with deeply unresolved personal and psychological issues, who need counseling and love, not scorn or mockery.

Call for Courage

To be a Christian in our day requires courage. Whether in the form of licensure denial, a lost job, suppressed speech, or the threat of coercion, Christians are going to find themselves on the wrong side of elite culture. But take heart. Jesus has overcome the world, and to be persecuted for his sake is to be blessed (Matthew 5:10–12; John 16:33).

As of this writing, however, there are glimmers of optimism that the secular foundation upon which the transgender worldview is built is beginning to crack. There are a growing number of people, some of them quite prominent, who are not Christians, who are raising concerns about the unsustainability of the transgender worldview. From privacy issues, safety issues, and equality and fairness issues, the world may be slowly coming to grips with the truth that its commitment to transgender ideology has outpaced its commitment to reality, sound thinking, and true human flourishing.

http://rss.desiringgod.org/link/10732/15449790/how-the-word-of-man-becomes-the-word-of-god