When we experience a dire situation, we are tempted to wallow in shame and to despair and turn against others. We must remember and believe God’s promises and his Good News, but not just for ourselves. We must turn in faith and love and speak with hopeful confidence to those around us. This is precisely what we see in Adam’s naming of Eve.

Did you ever notice that Adam named Eve after the Fall? This small detail from the first few chapters of Genesis, given in a single verse, leads us to an inspiring truth in one of our closest relationships.
Initially, Adam called his wife simply “Woman” (Gen 2:23). But after their disobedience, he named her Eve, which means “life-giver” (Gen 3:20). She would be “the mother of all the living.” After she disobeyed God, Eve had every reason to believe she was anything but a life-giver. But this is the name Adam chose for her immediately after hearing the full impact of their sin and failure from their holy God.
This is an unexpected turn. Earlier, Adam had sidestepped his responsibility for disobeying God and resentfully blamed Eve, and ultimately God, for his failure. God then pronounced a sentence on each of them—to her, pain in childbearing—to him, relentless toil in his work. Their lives together would be marked by struggle. It was a somber and devastating moment.
But instead of nursing resentment and continuing to blame his wife, Adam’s immediate response and first act of loving leadership was to rename her “life-giver.” For though God had announced curses upon them, he also gave them a magnificent promise of redemption (Gen 3:15).
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Written by Thomas D. Hawkes |
Monday, October 25, 2021
We call them to believe about themselves that God has created them with gifts, abilities, and talents to use for his service, the service of others, and for their own joyful use. We help them to recognize these gifts and talents and call them to believe that God can use them to bless others, and to show forth his own glory. Jesus did this.

How does one mentor effectively? There are dozens of books on the subject with many different emphases. It can become confusing. So confusing that we are tempted to shy away from mentoring others. But mentoring does not have to be complicated. After decades of mentoring scores of leaders, reading many books, and failing and succeeding, I want to suggest a simple approach to mentoring: Call them to faith and to repentance.
To offer slightly more complete guidance: in a relationship of love and encouragement call them to faith and repentance.
To help others grow we should call them to faith, to believe things that might be hard or unclear to believe. What are some of the calls to faith that we issue regularly to our mentees? We call them to believe things about God, his Word, themselves, the church, and the world.
We call them to believe that God loves them with an everlasting love, every moment of everyday. “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love” (John 15:9). This is the framework within which all growth is made possible, the love of God for us changes us.
We call them to believe that God is sovereign and loving, in control of every hair that falls from their heads. In particular, we call them to believe this when life is difficult and filled with suffering and trials. “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’” (Matt. 6:31).
We call them to trust God in good times and in bad. To depend upon him. To look to him. “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me” (John 14:1).
We call them to believe the Word. To know it is true, but more than that. We call them to embrace it as sufficient, that it really can guide them through uncharted waters. We call them to believe that they can trust God’s promises and should heed his warnings. We call them to depend on his Word to do for them what they cannot do themselves: to be a lamp to their feet and a light to their path. “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matt. 4:4).
We call them to believe about themselves that God has created them with gifts, abilities, and talents to use for his service, the service of others, and for their own joyful use. We help them to recognize these gifts and talents and call them to believe that God can use them to bless others, and to show forth his own glory. Jesus did this. “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do” (John 14:12).
For example, I was working with a younger pastor who was unsure of his spiritual gifts. I encouraged him to ask those close to him what spiritual gifts they saw prominent in his life. He asked and reported back to me that universally they had said hospitality. I affirmed that this was a dominant gift that I had seen. But he objected that the gift seemed more feminine. When I assured him that men and women were both gifted in hospitality, indeed, that elders are required to be hospitable (1 Tim. 3:2) he warmed up to the idea. He went on to develop that gift more fully as a cornerstone of his pastoral service in his various ministries.
We call them to believe that God has a purpose for their lives that is bigger than making it in this world. A purpose that he will fulfill in their lives. A calling to serve him as he has designed them and purposed them. They have a purpose that he will certainly fulfill. “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me” (Ps. 138:8).
Think of how Jesus persistently called the disciples to faith. “But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (Matt. 6:30). “’Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?’ Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm” (Matt. 8:26). “O you of little faith, why are you discussing among yourselves the fact that you have no bread?” (Matt. 16:8). The faithful mentor, like Jesus, will call his mentees to greater and greater faith.
We also call those we mentor to repent. To repent of individual sins, sinful traits, and unbelief.
We call them to repent of individual sins. When they are in conflict, say with a spouse, we help them see, not where their spouse has offended them—they will see that clearly enough—but how they contributed to the conflict, calling them to repent. I recall helping one young husband see that the greater cause of the conflict in his marriage was his lack of love for his wife, which prompted the insecurity in her that he so resented.
We call them to repent of the deeper sin, the dark side, the sin beneath the sin. This is often the most difficult aspects of mentoring: helping the mentee see what they do not want to see, what they desperately have concealed even from themselves, the passions, fears, and idols that drive them. “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1).
For example, as a mentee myself, when I was contemplating marrying my girlfriend, I asked my father for advice. He responded with a penetrating letter that laid bare the real reason behind my hesitancy. He pointed out that I hesitated because I was a perfectionist wondering, due to my youth and inexperience, if there might still be some more perfect woman out there I had yet to meet. While chiding me for that perfectionism, he also addressed it by assuring me, with his age and experience, that I could rest easy, I would not find a better wife anywhere. Forty-two years of marriage to the right woman later I am still thankful for his loving and penetrating call to repent of perfectionism.
We call those whom we mentor to repent of unbelief. They may have little faith in the love and forgiveness of God, or his ability to use them. We need to call them to repent first of the lack of faith in the promises of God. I find it helpful to ask those I mentor the simple question of self-examination during any issue or problem: What is it that you are failing to believe about God right now?
Think of how Jesus called his disciples to repent, confronting them with specific sins and sinful patterns. To the pushy Peter he said: “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man” (Mark 8:33). To the disciples who doubted the report of his resurrection there came a rebuke. “Afterward he appeared to the eleven themselves as they were reclining at table, and he rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they had not believed those who saw him after he had risen” (Mark 16:14). When the disciples argued about who among them would be the greatest, Jesus did not let it go in silence but called them to repent with a rebuke. “And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, ‘If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all’” (Mark 9:35).
We call those we are mentoring to faith and repentance, all in an environment of love and encouragement. Those we mentor will not want to hear from us if they feel that our goal is simply to perfect them as pet projects. They, like us, want to be genuinely loved and cared for amid our relationships. They, and we, want respect, to be valued, to have fun together. Our relationship must be marked by a genuine love and concern for them. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (John 13:34).
We should aim to be encouraging. Every encounter with us should be one that leaves them feeling built up, whether calling them to faith or repentance. “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thess. 5:11). Our goal is never to tear down but to lift them closer to the heart of God.
For example, I was correcting a young intern once, showing him what he had done wrong and why it was important to get it right. At the end of our time together when I asked how he was doing with the interaction he said with a tone of surprise: “Oddly, although I messed up, I feel really encouraged right now, thanks.” Think of the encouragement Peter would have felt when Jesus restored him after his falling away with those words, “Feed my sheep” (John 21:17).
Mentoring does not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as calling those we mentor to faith and to repentance, all in a relationship of love and encouragement. May I encourage you to try it? Your best years of mentoring others may still be ahead of you.
Dr. Tom Hawkes is a minister in the Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church who serves as the Director of Church Planting for the Florida Presbytery, and as church planting pastor for Christ Presbyterian Church, Fernandina Beach, Fla.

In your reaction against others in the denomination you have given yourselves to a form of organization and methods that are not acceptable, and now the only way that you can you remove the offense of your unjustified secret political machinations is by openly repenting of them. Write a letter and post it at A Faithful PCA, ByFaith, or some such suitable place.

Read Part 1
The Practical Consequences of Secrecy
In your activism you have been very zealous; but “desire without knowledge is not good” (Prov. 19:2), and the knowledge that you lack is the knowledge that forming a secret organization offends your brothers, causes scandal, and is not an acceptable way of achieving your desired ends. You wish to see the PCA make inroads into previously underrepresented areas and groups, but in so doing you approach the matter wrongly and offend those who are already your brothers for the sake of unbelievers who may never repent. One should “give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God” (1 Cor. 10:32), but should labor carefully after the example of Paul (v. 32; comp. Acts 24:16) and others to “give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all” (Rom. 12:17) and to avoid giving offense insofar as it is possible (1 Tim. 3:15; 1Pet. 2:12-17).
This is not what you have done. You were under no obligation to form your organization at all, much less to do it in secret, and much less still to persist in this secrecy for years and in the face of much criticism. This is not striving to “live peaceably with all” (Rom. 12:18) or pursuing “what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding” (14:19). This is offending the brother and stirring up strife needlessly. Such secrecy gives a poor testimony: if one is right, it is cowardice and hiding one’s lamp (Matt. 5:14-16); and if others are wrong, it is failing to confront them appropriately in a suitably blunt, manful way.
A Further Objection Considered
Perhaps you will object and say that the reason for your secrecy is to avoid slander, because others are in the habit of publicly misrepresenting your character. In such a case you have two recourses. One, you can avail yourself of the process of reconciliation that our Lord has prescribed for us to deal with personal offenses (Matt. 18:15-20), appealing to the church courts if personal admonition proves insufficient. Two, you may elect to forbear the offense, knowing that the sufferance of slander is a mark of the believer’s life in this world, and that it is a gracious thing (1 Pet. 3:13-17) to endure it patiently. Scripture does not say that you are permitted to withdraw into secret enclaves to avoid slander, and as a practical question such secrecy rather gives more occasion to the suspicion of others than reduces it.
An Apology for this Letter
But perhaps all of this is too much. You little like such blunt public criticism of your secret doings. What offense has anyone done you in criticizing or opposing you? Have we not labored to faithfully reprove you for what we believe are your failings? Is such not our duty to you as fellow members of Christ’s church? Perhaps we are wrong to one degree or another, or as regards some matters, or in some of our methods. Perhaps some have even descended from just confrontation to something as heinous as slander, as you allege. I do not make excuses for that, if indeed it is true – I know nothing of such incidents to judge either way – but speak for the many who have disagreed with you whose intent and aims have been good. If you like not the plainness of our speech or its content may it be fairly asked whether the source of offense lies in the remonstrances or in the ones who receive them?
Test your hearts and consider whether there be any pride there that prejudices you in this matter and that closes your minds and hardens your hearts against reproof. You set yourselves up as the proponents of a ‘beautiful orthodoxy’ and ‘a faithful PCA,’ and you write public letters of disagreement defending yourselves, while at all levels of the church courts you work ceaselessly to fashion its polity as you will. Is it unthinkable this has made you blind to your own faults or to the justice of the criticisms that others level against you? It is hard, as a matter of practical human nature, to zealously work for a great scheme of reform without becoming proud, stubborn, and slow to listen. Have you considered whether this is the case with you? Have you tested yourselves and taken the logs out of your own eyes, or do you make haste in assailing others?
It is the latter. Your sincerity is not doubted, nor, for that matter, are some of your claims. The Presbyterian Church in America is a human institution, rife with weakness and sin. It has, as such, many grounds upon which it may be criticized and sundry points at which it needs to amend its deeds. It is not denied that we have often had a poor record in our dealings with various groups, nor that we are prone to complacency, pride, and sundry sins that involve how we conceive of ourselves and relate to others and to material things.
A Call to Repentance
But where some have fallen too far to the right into worldly respectability and have come perilously close to a dead orthodoxy that is but a veneer over a substance that is more of a piece with a WASP-ish country club than the church of Christ, your danger is to fall too far in the other direction. In your reaction against others in the denomination you have given yourselves to a form of organization and methods that are not acceptable, and now the only way that you can you remove the offense of your unjustified secret political machinations is by openly repenting of them. Write a letter and post it at A Faithful PCA, ByFaith, or some such suitable place. Sign it and declare yourselves openly, and as a part of it renounce secrecy and promise to surrender office forever if you are caught in it again and to faithfully reveal anyone whom you know that persists in or returns to it. Apologize also for the offense you have caused your brethren and extol others to not follow in the way of your wrongdoing. Such is the way of honor and honesty, and if you will not take it there are many who will think of you as guilty of impenitent contumacy against the peace and purity of the church.
Further Concerns
It is not only your secretive tendencies that are an occasion for concern. To be blunt – not in an effort to be rude, mind you, but in the interests of speaking the truth faithfully – you come across as rather arrogant and hypocritical. You are rather snidely dismissive of others that disagree with you: The Aquila Report is just a “gossip outlet,” a mere handful of writers against your own robust multitude of elders, while the concerns of others are repeatedly brushed aside as just so much social media outrage. The Nashville Statement is, not a faithful summary of historic teachings about sexuality, but rather “simply the latest stick being used to whack away the unclean,” and it stretches the bounds of credulity to think that anyone regards it as anything “more than empty words.” Any notion of the PCA sliding into liberalism is just a “myth” that you regard as an inconvenience, as it requires you to justify your deeds to others, while in discussing homosexual lust you sarcastically ask whether those that experience such lust should not be “allowed in the fellowship of half-blind [donkeys] looking for the Glory of the Lord?”
There is little charity in such statements, casting aspersions upon the motives and character of others as they do. If The Aquila Report and other sites are just “gossip outlets” aren’t you implicitly accusing their proprietors and contributors of sin? And as for calling your fellow Presbyterians “half-blind [donkeys],” you seem to have forgotten the testimony of Scripture on this point, that “if anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (Jas. 1:26), and, further, that you ought to “let your speech always be gracious” (Col. 4:6) and “let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up” (Eph. 4:29). It is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks (Lk. 6:45), and so, by extension, that the fingers type.
But perhaps the best example of arrogance can be seen in a tweet by your founder, in which he retweeted a video of a sheep perpetually running into a ditch and becoming stuck each time it was freed, a video whose original comment was a bit of foul language unacceptable in the eyes of many unbelievers, and which received the further comment from your founder that this was “the pastoral care process, explained.” God says that you are to “shepherd the flock of God that is among you . . . not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock” (1 Pet. 5:2-3) and that you are to “show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned” (Tit. 2:7-8). He does not commend that you use bad language and make light of your holy calling and arrogantly belittle the sheep in the process. By your words here you sound rather like the shepherds of Israel whom God condemned for arrogance and selfishness (Eze. 34), for you have fun at the expense of those whose slaves you are (Mk. 10:42-45).
As for your hypocrisy, you speak with much emotion of our common brotherhood, with many pious phrases decrying division and extolling unity and peace in both public (e.g., “The Open Letter” at A Faithful PCA) and in your own midst, yet by your deeds and other internal statements – such as those mentioned above – you draw all of this into suspicion. Again, you want the PCA to be a big tent that includes within its midst every substrata of American society, but you seem little concerned that in your desire for expansion according to your tastes you are actively alienating many of our own members and churches even now, and in some cases inducing them to leave.
At the 2019 General Assembly one of your number stated, in effect, that we should be greatly concerned that the world thinks our foremost trait is hatred of homosexuals and that we should work to rehabilitate our image; and yet when fellow PCA elders attempt to remonstrate with you over your perceived failings you dismiss them pretty much categorically as engaged in so much fear mongering and alarmist nonsense. Thus do you say that we should listen to the wicked who are blinded by the lies of Satan, and yet you would also close your ears to the reproofs of the faithful. Do you believe that you may pay lip service to unity while acting in a dismissive way that makes it impossible, or that you may leave your ears open to culture, even unbelieving and wholly immoral culture, and yet close them to your fellow presbyters and not come to a bad end?
Tom Hervey is a member of Woodruff Road Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Simpsonville, S.C.