We have a responsibility to communicate our needs to those closest to us. It’s not loving to sweep their sins under the rug or to tolerate their annoying habits without saying anything. This will only enable their behavior and feed bitterness in our hearts. Repentance is a gift of God that leads to life and healing (Acts 11:18; James 5:16). Let’s cherish it, cultivate it, and live in gratitude and dependence on God as we seek to model it in our lives.

Imagine you’re on Family Feud and Steve Harvey gives the following prompt: “We asked 100 sinners, ‘Name one reason why you do not repent of your sin to one another.’ The top seven answers are on the board.”
What do you think the most common responses would be? I’d offer these seven.
We don’t repent because . . .

We’re completely blind to our sin, or we don’t think our sin is bad enough to warrant repentance.
We don’t think the other person deserves our repentance. Maybe we think he sinned first, or he sinned more, or his sin caused our sin, so we refuse to repent until he does.
We don’t think repenting will help anything. Sometimes we fear our repentance will fuel the other person’s pride, appear to ignore her faults, or lead to further conflict. So we stay silent.
We are too proud. Repentance means admitting we were wrong—and that we need mercy—which requires Christlike humility. Sometimes we don’t want to stoop that low.
We are too ashamed of our sin or too afraid of the consequences. Repentance also means giving up (the feeling of) control over our own reputation and putting ourselves at the mercy of others. This takes vulnerability—something many people run from.
We don’t want to change. Biblical repentance requires turning—changing our behavior—which can feel a bit like heart surgery. Many resist confessing their sin because they love it too much to give it up.
We don’t know how to repent. Many people never had repentance clearly modeled in the home or taught in the church, leaving them unequipped to put it into action.

Why Should We Confess Our Sins to One Another?
James 5:16 gives us a helpful starting point: “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
This verse gives us at least two motivations to confess our sins to one another:
1. Because God commands us to.
2. Because God commands us to for our healing.
Repentance is not a punishment God makes us pay after we sin; it’s medicine God uses to heal us from our sins’ ravaging effects. God uses our repentance to enliven us (Acts 11:18), refresh us (Acts 3:19–20), restore us (Luke 15:11–24), cleanse us (1 John 1:9), and enrich our fellowship with him and with one another (1 John 1:6–7). Repentance is not a curse to fear, but a gift to cherish.
How Do I Repent of My Sin to Someone?
Repentance can be hard, but it doesn’t need to be complicated.
Read More
Related Posts:

Following our heart is terrible advice when we realize how much our desires change. We say, “The heart wants what it wants,” but we never even know what it wants. What we desire shifts on the daily. Instead of following our heart, we must follow God who is immutable.

“Follow your heart.” This is the message of every Disney movie you’ve ever seen. The movies we watch, the tv shows we binge, the music we listen to — all of it proclaims this message: follow your heart and everything will be perfect. Your heart—which is good and reliable—knows what it wants and will take you where you need to go.
The problem is, though, that doesn’t square up in the slightest with the Bible. There are many well-meaning Christians who truly believe the Bible tells us to follow our hearts. However, when they look up the chapter and verse they never find it—because it’s not there. You see, Scripture doesn’t paint a pretty picture about man’s heart. But it’s honest and realistic.
It’s not the popular thing to go against the “follow your heart” message because it is supposed to make us feel good about ourselves. But it ultimately falls flat for many reasons. Let’s explore three of them.
Our heart is wicked. Why should I follow my heart when the Bible calls it wicked (Ps. 41:6)? Of course, this isn’t referring to our physical, beating heart. When the Bible mentions the heart in this way, it’s referring to our innermost affections, our will.
Read More
Related Posts:

Seasoned pastor, watch your doctrine and life, and work hard to be a faithful finisher who also teaches younger pastors how to be faithful finishers. Younger pastor, watch your doctrine and life. Focus on what it will take to be faithful ministers with character and who finish well because you purpose to be faithful rather than fast and famous.

It doesn’t happen often, but there are times when I am out to dinner with my wife, and I am absolutely blown away by the meal we are eating. The dish is masterfully composed and beautifully presented. The textures are varied, and the flavors are distinct yet combined to provide a complex, satisfying mouthfeel.
With each bite, I try to taste every flavor individually and in combination, trying to reverse-engineer the dish. In my mind, the process is similar to Russell Crowe’s character cracking codes in “A Beautiful Mind.” It’s probably not that impressive, but, in the moment, I am trying to take a broad field of potential data and determine how a dish came together so that I can replicate it in my own kitchen.
I love to cook, and this reverse engineering process allows me to test the limits of my skill and knowledge in the kitchen. Sometimes I can talk to the chef and get an idea about some of their process. Other times, I just try to recreate that dish through trial and error. What was added? What was left out? How long and with what method was it cooked in order for these simple ingredients to meld into such majestic, complex flavors?
Ultimately the question I am seeking to answer is: Can I, based on the ingredients that I know are present and the ones that I taste (or think I taste), reproduce this dish in my own home?
Long Obedience
I do that same work of reverse engineering when I consider the lives of men who are fathers in the faith, men who have finished the race well. Their lives stand out against the backdrop of stories of Christians who had the appearance of faithful, effective gospel witness but instead crash-landed in scandal. I look at those examples of faithfulness with the same sorts of questions that I have when I encounter a masterfully composed meal.
How did they minister with such enduring faithfulness? How did they preach and write with such a timely and timeless voice? What pursuits and practices did they have that grounded them in a life of faithfulness to Jesus?
A few years ago, I was at a gathering of church planters and aspiring church planters. As I observed the conversations and listened to the presentations, there was something that stood out to me about the way we talk about church planting.
We spend a lot of time talking about starting and what ingredients need to be present to start well. However, we don’t spend as much time talking about what it will take to finish well. We spend a lot of time weighing out how to expand our platform and increase our fame, but not as much about what it will take to have a long life of faithfulness as a minister.
Our problem is that too often, we assume that anything worthwhile can and must be acquired or achieved quickly and, more often than not, in our own strength. But the Christian life looks more like what Eugene Peterson called “a long obedience in the same direction.” We think fast and famous, but the way of kingdom discipleship is long obedience and a desire to be a faithful finisher.
The Ingredients of a Faithful Finisher
A few years ago, I was scheduled to preach Paul’s testimony in 2 Timothy 4.
For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time for my departure is close. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. There is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me, but to all those who have loved his appearing (2 Tim. 4:6–8, CSB).
When I read the text, I was a little overwhelmed by trying to preach it as a young man. Those are finishing words. I was very early in my pastoral work, just a few steps into my long obedience. But then it dawned on me that I needed to apply the same kind of reverse-engineering process that I do over a delicious meal and ask, “What ingredients went into a life and ministry that ended in a faithful finish when so many shipwreck their own faith and the faith of others through failure?”
Fortunately, as you examine Paul’s writings and life, you can observe some of the ingredients that led to that incredible testimony.
Paul Never Got Over the Gospel
For Paul, his course was set on the day he encountered Jesus on that road to Damascus. In a flash, he went from “alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds” (Col. 1:21) to “chosen instrument” of Christ, called to carry his name “before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel” (Acts 9:15).
That moment of transformation was so decisive for him that later in his life, he recounts to Timothy,
I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an arrogant man. But I received mercy because I acted out of ignorance in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them. But I received mercy for this reason, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate his extraordinary patience as an example to those who would believe in him for eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. (1 Tim. 1:13–17, CSB)
Throughout his letters, Paul gives us beautiful gospel vistas meant to awaken that kind of gratitude and worship in our souls. This gospel wasn’t just the content of theological reflection or communication for him. The gospel was what fueled his worship and grounded all his ministry.
When you are consistently reflecting on God’s grace toward you, there is no room for arrogance and pride. When you are consistently reflecting on the grace of God toward you, you can pastor even in the toughest of times with a sense that the grace of God can powerfully transform even this hard situation or hardened person. When you are consistently reflecting on this gospel, you feel the freedom to admit weakness and confess sin because you know the depths of the riches of God’s mercy. When you are consistently reflecting on the grace of God toward you, you can walk with patience, gentleness, and humility with other sinners around you because you are always aware of God’s “extraordinary patience” and mercy toward you at your worst.
Read More
Related Posts: