There are a few trends that seem universally associated with a modernizing society. Wealth increases, for example, and standards of living rise. Meanwhile, marriage and fertility rates decline. So too does the average age of marriage. Over the past few decades, marriage in many Western countries has transformed from a rite-of-passage into adulthood to something more like an optional add-on to middle-age.
Contra the culture both within and outside of the church, I remain an advocate of marrying young. That’s not to say that there is anything wrong with waiting to marry until you are older or that you should marry young. However, I do I suggest you at least be open to the possibility of it. It’s not to say you should plow recklessly ahead with your first crush, but that you should move forward only with the guidance and wisdom of parents and Christian community. And it’s definitely not to say you should marry when you are still a child—so perhaps we can define “young” as being something like twentyish to twenty-sixish—ages that are within the bounds of adulthood but still significantly younger than the contemporary average.
With that in mind, I direct this brief article to Christian young people and offer them several reasons they should be open to marrying when they are young.

There is something sweet and significant about building a life together. While there is nothing wrong with building separate lives and then combining them in your late twenties or thirties, it is a special joy to begin with nothing and build it all as a couple.

While the Bible offers no explicit directives on the age of marriage, it does at times seem to assume or commend it as an aspect of being younger rather than older. For example: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). Sure, part of this may be related to the realities of an ancient agrarian culture, but still, the Bible’s assumption for marriage generally seems to point to youth more than age.

Once you are certain that you have found the person you would like to marry, there is often little benefit in remaining unmarried for a long period of time. Conversely, there may be difficult struggles and temptations.

It is powerfully counter-cultural to not only reject cohabitation, but to embrace marriage. Everyone expects you will get married someday, but few expect you will get married until you have tried many partners and trialed many relationships. Young marriage testifies to God’s plan for men and women to form exclusive and lifelong partnerships—to not only choose to build a life with another person but to forever reject all other possibilities by deliberately closing out your options. Such a decision is guaranteed to provoke interesting and biblically-based conversations.

When I have spoken to couples who have reached their 50th, 60th, or even 70th anniversaries, they have always lamented that it feels too short. More years together, they insist, are better than fewer years.

Part of the beauty of marriage is that it involves a second person coming alongside to help, strengthen, encourage, support, and care for you. More years of such blessings may prove a greater benefit than fewer years. This is perhaps especially true when those blessings come in your formative twenties.

Part of the beauty of marriage is that it involves a second person coming alongside to help, strengthen, encourage, support, and care for youShare
You may hear that marrying young is more likely to lead to problems in marriage or even to divorce. I have only anecdotal evidence to offer here, but it has been my personal and pastoral observation that Christians who marry older are just as likely (and maybe even more likely) to experience difficulties in their marriage. Which is to say, neither youth nor age are necessarily associated with either strength or weakness. Other factors play a more crucial role in marital health.

While many cultural conventions dictate the importance of establishing a certain level of wealth or achieving a certain level of vocational success before getting married, the Bible does not. You can get married without owning a home or beginning your first career. You can even get married before finishing college. There will certainly be matters of wisdom to consider, but God nowhere forbids or warns against it. It may take a lot less than you think it does to survive quite happily together.

Though this is obvious, it also merits consideration: The younger you are, the greater the pool of available potential spouses. The older you are, the greater the number who have already settled down with others.

On a somewhat similar note, I have observed that major decisions often become more difficult as you age. As it pertains to marriage, you may experience more doubts, second-guessing, and struggles deciding on a spouse in your thirties than in your twenties. In this way the naïveté and straightforwardness of youth may actually prove a blessing.

Sexual desire tends to be strongest and sexual ability freest when men and women are young rather than old. One purpose of marriage is to join together with a willing partner who will explore and enjoy sexual satisfaction with you. It is a blessing to have a willing and available sexual partner in those years of greatest desire.

It is generally true that the younger you are, the easier it is to conceive children. Societal norms about the age of childbirth have changed substantially and so too have reproductive technologies. But human biology has not. Society does not tell the truth when it implies or explicitly states that it is best to pursue a career first and consider children only later. (Did you know that if a woman is due to give birth after her 35th birthday—which is not very old!—, doctors already refer to it as “advanced maternal age” or, formerly, a “geriatric pregnancy” because of the increased complications age can bring?)

The younger you get married, the younger you can start to have children. This opens more options when it comes to the number of children you can have. If you begin to have children in your late-thirties, time necessarily restricts the size of your family. But the possibilities remain greater when you have your first a decade or more earlier.

The younger you have children, the younger you will be when you have grandchildren and thus be able to have longer and deeper involvement in their lives. Just consider the differences in becoming a grandparent at 50 versus 60 or 70. This may not seem important when you are 19 or 20 years old, but take it from me and a host of grandparents that someday it will be very important indeed.

I will conclude where I began, by insisting that I am not saying there is anything wrong with waiting to marry until you are older. Neither am I saying you should marry when you are young. Rather, I am saying that you should not exclude the possibility of it. Instead, as you reach your late teens and early twenties and head into adulthood, begin to think, “I am now old enough to marry.” Then begin to pray and consider whether it would be wise and good to marry sooner rather than later.

Who would have thought it? Who would have thought that a question so straightforward would prove so controversial? Who would have thought that providing the age-old answer to the simplest of questions would be enough to cast you out of polite society? Yet here we are.

The question, of course, is this: What is a woman? This question is at the core of a new documentary by Matt Walsh—a documentary that is meant to expose the danger and contradictory nature of contemporary gender ideology. This ideology does away with the male/female and man/woman binaries and replaces them with spectrums so that people are not simply men or women and not simply male or female, but can instead define themselves according to their feelings. At the same time it completely separates sex and gender so that a male body can belong to a woman as easily as a man. Everything we once took for granted has been deconstructed and reversed.
With this in the background, Walsh travels around the United States—and briefly to Africa—to interview people and to engage in some light trolling. He wishes mostly to get an answer to the big question: What is a woman?
He begins with an interview of a gender non-conforming gender affirming therapist who insists “some women have penises and some men have vaginas.” This individual, though female, says she cannot answer the question of “what is a woman?” because she herself (they themself?) is not a woman.
With no answer there, he turns next to the streets of New York City where he speaks to a group of women who range from young to middle-aged, yet are unable to answer the question except to say that it is bound up in an individual’s self-identification. They know they are women, but they don’t know why. Heading to San Francisco, he sits down with Dr. Marci Bowers, a male-to-female transgendered doctor who is considered among the preeminent sex-change surgeons in the world. The doctor says that a woman is a combination of your physical attributes and what you’re showing to the world through the clues that you give—still not a very helpful answer.
He speaks to Michelle Forcier, a pediatrician whose work involves “reproductive justice” and “gender affirmation care,” which is to say, helping children and teens dispute the gender they were assigned at birth and transition to another. She insists that telling a family of a newborn baby that the child’s genitals offer any substantial clue as to whether he is male or she is female, is simply not correct—it’s an outdated and harmful way to think about things. From there it’s off to Tennessee to speak to Dr. Patrick Grzanka who is a professor of women, gender, and sexuality studies but who, despite such lofty academic credentials, can do no better than “a person who identifies as a woman,” violating the rule that a word must not be defined by using that word. And so it goes, even to a women’s march in which, ironically, the people marching for women’s rights seem unable or unwilling to answer the question of what constitutes a woman in the first place.
As the documentary continues, Walsh begins to integrate the voices of those who are dissenting from this ideology. Miriam Grossman, an adolescent and adult psychiatrist, does much of the heavy lifting. She is outraged by the ease at which people—and especially young people—are being subjected to what is really no better than medical experimentation as they are injected with hormones and subjected to life-altering surgeries. A couple of young female athletes explain how they were forced to compete against—and lose to—biological males. Carl Trueman makes a couple of brief (too brief!) appearances to explain some of the history behind this gender ideology. Jordan Peterson brings his trademark outrage to a few clips. Perhaps strongest of all is an extended interview with Scott (Kellie) Newgent who medically transitioned from woman to man and is now filled with regrets, understanding that she is not a man and never can or will be, despite all the surgeries and hormones. Her body, and indeed her life, has been ruined by it.
The film is not without its missteps. I don’t understand the benefit of visiting the Masai and hearing how they view men and women, interesting though it may be. Then Walsh takes a few cheap shots, tosses out a few easy insults, and interviews a few soft targets (like the naked dude wandering the city streets and the person who identifies as a wolf). And it is here that I think we ought to consider this: When we have the truth on our side, we can engage with an opponent’s best arguments with every bit as much confidence as their worst. Hence some of the soft targets could as easily have been replaced by people making a much stronger argument. This, in turn, might better equip viewers to engage with those who hold to this gender ideology. There may be a place for satire or outright mockery, but there is also a place to take on and refute the absolute best arguments an opponent can offer. I would have liked to have seen Walsh do a little bit more of that.
As I watched the documentary I found myself wondering: What is the purpose of a production like this? Is it meant to persuade those who disagree with its premises? Is it meant to affirm the convictions of those who already agree with its premises? Or does it have a different purpose altogether? While I found What Is a Woman a surprisingly strong film, I suspect it will mostly serve the second purpose. I don’t expect it to convince those who are not already convinced—not least because, at least for now, the only way to watch it is to subscribe to The Daily Wire. I was willing to part with a month’s fee to watch it, but doubt many of those who buy into this gender ideology will be willing to do so. And so it will, I suspect, largely preach to the choir.
Parents will want to know there are a few images that are somewhat explicit and a few words they may not want their kids to hear, largely in the context of interviews. This isn’t a film to watch with the littlest ones. But I think it could be a good film to watch with teens since it reflects the world they will be growing up in and the world they will need to make their way through. Though Walsh’s treatment is not entirely serious and certainly not academic, and though he could have engaged with some stronger arguments, he does a good job of exposing the contradictory nature, moral confusion, and physical danger of modern day gender ideology. And that makes this a film worth watching.
(If you’d like to dive a little deeper into the subject, you might consider reading Affirming God’s Image, which is written from a Christian perspective, or Irreversible Damage which looks at how this ideology is particularly harming young women. Of course Carl Trueman’s Strange New World (the short book) and The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self (the longer one) are essential reading as well.)

This week Free Stuff Friday is sponsored by BJU Seminary. They are giving away a bundle of books, authored by their faculty and others, on why we believe the Bible and how we live true to it today. BJU Seminary equips Christian leaders through an educational and ministry experience that is biblically shaped, theologically rich, historically significant, and evangelistically robust.

Beyond Chapter and Verse: The Theology and Practice of Biblical Application by Ken Casillas
Do you struggle to connect the dots between the Bible and your life? While Christians instinctively want to apply Scripture, we encounter difficulties that can discourage us and diminish our engagement with God’s Word. Indeed, biblical application has suffered in various ways in the church—everything from neglect to abuse to contempt.
Responding to such challenges, Beyond Chapter and Verse provides a biblically based rationale for the practice of application and then proposes a biblically consistent method for application. The book is substantive but accessible, relevant for believers generally as well as preachers. It begins by sketching the broad theological context of Bible application, relating it to the gospel generally and to sanctification specifically. The heart of the study then synthesizes key Old and New Testament passages relative to the process of application. Building on this foundation, the book sets forth a sensible approach for arriving at legitimate applications of Scripture. A rich assortment of positive and negative case studies illustrates the method, motivating believers to apply the Scriptures for themselves.

The Trustworthiness of God’s Words: Why the Reliability of Every Word from God Matters by Layton Talbert
This is a book about God’s jealousy for His integrity, His passion to be believed, on the basis of His words alone. Throughout Scripture God expresses His determination to be known as the God who keeps His words. He has resolved that every person and nation will see and confess that all His words are reliable down to every last syllable, jot, and tittle. Learning to trust a God who is sovereign and in control, especially in the ache and throb of life, means hanging on to the conviction that everything He says is utterly dependable.
Knowing that God’s words are trustworthy and living it out can be two different things though, so as well as laying out the theological foundations, Layton MacDonald Talbert explores the practical applications. What does trusting God’s words look like in real life, and how has it played out in the experience of God’s people? Let Talbert show you how in tracing the reliability of God through history we can learn to trust Him with the future.

Why Believe?: A Reasoned Approach to Christianity by Neil Shenvi
For centuries, skeptics have disputed the claims of Christianity―such as belief in an eternal God and the resurrection of Jesus Christ―arguing that they simply cannot be accepted by reasonable individuals. Furthermore, efforts to demonstrate the evidence and rational basis for Christianity through apologetics are often deemed too simplistic to be taken seriously in intellectual circles.
Apologist and theoretical chemist Neil Shenvi engages some of the best contemporary arguments against Christianity, presenting compelling evidence for the identity of Jesus as portrayed in the Gospels, his death and resurrection, the existence of God, and the unique message of the gospel. Why Believe? calls readers from all backgrounds not only to accept Christianity as true, but also to entrust their lives to Christ and worship him alone.

Accessible without being simplistic: ideal for intellectuals and academics, as well as high school and college students
Well-researched: interacts with skeptical arguments against Christianity and God’s existence
Biblical: grounded in Scripture and centered on the claims of the gospel

Dangerous Affirmation: The Threat of “Gay Christianity” by M. D. Perkins
Since 1968, the LGBT movement has made significant inroads into the Christian church. The affirming church movement has become mainstream through the erosion of mainline denominations. Queer theology has taken hold in many academic settings. The emergence of “gay celibate theology” is causing confusion in evangelical churches through its appeal to modern psychology and LGBT-lived experience. How did we get here? What does the Bible say about all of this?
Dangerous Affirmation is an insightful analysis of the influence and spread of “gay Christianity.” Author M. D. Perkins exposes the way this movement handles theology, biblical interpretation, the church, personal and group identity, and political activism. While many Christians are being won over to this immoral cause, Dangerous Affirmation serves as a sober-minded call to faithfulness in the midst of cultural and religious chaos.
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