How Do I Face the Deaths of Others?
Death is about separation. Our hope is about reunion. Soul and body will be forever reunited, gloriously. The believing dead and believers who are alive at the second coming will be reunited, and all believers will be gathered to Christ, forever. Our hope reminds us that death is not the final word. In the providence of God, it is one step toward the grand accomplishment and realization of God’s purpose to gather His people to Himself in Jesus Christ. This hope cannot but transform our experience of grief. We certainly grieve in view of the tremendous loss that death has brought into our lives, but we grieve in view of the blessings that are sure to come.
When considering death, what is our hope? Strictly speaking, our hope is not a what but a who. It is Christ Himself and all the benefits that we enjoy in Him. Hebrews tells us that we have a “hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf ” (Heb. 6:19–20a). Ralph Wardlaw’s well-known hymn praises “Christ, of all my hopes the ground.” Our hope is in Christ, and our hope is Christ.
In particular, the “blessed hope” of the believer is the “appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works” (Titus 2:13–14). Our great hope is the return of Christ in glory. Every Christian eagerly awaits the return of Christ and the full experience of eternal life in Him—this is our “blessed hope.”
Encourage One Another with These Words
What does this hope look like when we mourn the loss of believing loved ones? How does this hope give us comfort and strength in such times? How can we help our fellow believers to lay hold of this hope in their grief?
Paul’s words to the Thessalonians in 1 Thessalonians 4:13–18 answer these questions. While it is difficult to sort out all the details of what was troubling the Thessalonians, the main lines are clear. This is a young church, and many of its members have been recently converted from gentile paganism. Their believing loved ones have died, and they do not know how to respond biblically. Paul is concerned that they will lapse into the familiar cultural response of “griev[ing] as others do who have no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13).
In this passage, Paul applies the truth of the gospel to the Thessalonians’ mourning. The gospel does not do away with our grief, but it transforms our grief. Paul is going to explain how that is so. There is a direct, practical component to Paul’s teaching. Paul expects the people of the church to “encourage one another with these words” (1 Thess. 4:18). He wants them to take what he says in verses 14–17 and to share these truths as means of comfort to fellow believers in need. This duty does not belong simply to the elders, deacons, or especially mature Christians. It belongs to all believers. We need to gather up the truth of these verses so that we may minister that truth to hurting believers.1
Paul offers at least five lines of comfort and encouragement to grieving believers.
- “We believe that Jesus died and rose again” (1 Thess. 4:14).
The first comes in verse 14: “We believe that Jesus died and rose again.” Paul here makes three points. First, Jesus has died. In His death, He conquered death. Jesus paid the penalty of sin that merits death, bore the curse of the law on behalf of sinners, and propitiated the wrath of God. Second, Jesus rose again. After three days in the grave, Jesus was raised to newness of life. His body, transformed by the Spirit, is glorious and fit to dwell in heaven. Possessed by the Spirit and possessing the Spirit, our risen Savior shares the Spirit with us, giving blessing, life, and glory to us by the Spirit. Raised from the dead, Jesus gives us every assurance that we will one day be powerfully and gloriously raised from the dead also. Third, Paul reminds us that “we believe”—that Jesus has died and been raised. Paul is saying more than that we assent to these historical facts as facts. We do assent to them, but we have also placed our trust in Christ as Savior and Lord to accomplish the same for us. Our whole lives are lives of faith in Christ, crucified and raised from the dead (2 Cor. 5:7; Gal. 2:20). Because it is true that Jesus died and was raised from the dead, and because we have put our trust in Him as Savior, we have the comfort we need to grieve in hope and to help our brothers and sisters do the same.
- Believers who have predeceased us are “the dead in Christ” (1 Thess. 4:16).
The second line of comfort and encouragement is found in 1 Thessalonians 4:16. Believers who have predeceased us are “the dead in Christ.”2 Even in death, the believer remains united to Christ. Death has not destroyed the bond between that person and Jesus Christ. The whole person remains united to Christ—soul and body. His soul has immediately entered the presence of Christ, which is “far better” (Phil. 1:23) than even life in Christ on earth. He has entered his reward and rest. His body rests in his grave as in his bed, awaiting resurrection dawn. Surely our union with Christ affords us great hope and comfort when we mourn the loss of believing loved ones.
- “The dead in Christ will rise first” (1 Thess. 4:16).
Paul’s third line traces a timetable of future events. He says that “the dead in Christ will rise first” (1 Thess. 4:16) and that this will happen immediately after the return of Christ (“for the Lord himself will descend from heaven,” (1 Thess. 4:16).
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A Kiss Goodbye
We are to hold true and hold truth. We do so not alone but with brothers and sisters in Christ with whom we share a common faith and hold a common creed. Peter names names as he wraps up. He speaks of Silvanus, whom he identifies as a spiritual brother, and Mark, whom he calls a spiritual son. We can also name names of those we walk alongside in the trenches of life and ministry.
Peace to you all who are in Christ Jesus. Amen. (1 Peter 5:14, NKJV)
Peter has just reminded us that we are aliens and pilgrims in this world that is not our home. In our sojourning through it we face an adversary. We are called to resist him, standing firm in the faith, confident of the hope that is ours in Christ.
Now in his concluding words, Peter again urges us to stand. In verse nine the apostle bid us to stand against and here in verse twelve beckons us to stand firm. He points us to the true grace of God bound up in the apostolic word. We must stay rooted in that word, staying put against the enticements of the evil one.
Standing firm involves standing against while we find ourselves in Babylon (5:13), a reference to the fallen kingdom of this world.
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Giving Thanks is Serious Business
It is good and necessary for us to cultivate a thankful spirit, both individually and as a community. Giving thanks regularly reminds us that we receive all that we have, not because we have earned or deserved it, but because God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Meditating on God’s provision for us gives us a natural connection to the saving work of Jesus.
For many Christians (especially in the U.S.), thanksgiving means either a quick prayer before a meal or the fourth Thursday in November. But for the Israelites in Nehemiah’s day, giving thanks was a serious endeavor.
Completing Hard Tasks
When some of the Jewish people were sent back to a decimated Jerusalem from exile in Babylon, they faced a steep challenge. They needed to rebuild the temple, the city walls, and the city itself. The tasks themselves were difficult, but they were made more so by enemies who lied about, threatened, and attacked the people. (These stories can be found in the books of Ezra and Nehemiah.)
But God was still with his people, after all these years! He protected them, strengthened them, and provided for them over and over and over again. So, when the wall was finished and ready to be dedicated, it was time to give God proper thanks.
The Ceremony
To prepare for the dedication ceremony, the first order of business was to call all the Levites and singers back to the city (Neh 12:27–29). The Levites were the assistants and managers of the temple, and for this occasion they were needed for their musical abilities. This was to be a worship service, so the Levites and priests purified themselves, the people, the gates, and the wall (Neh 12:30).
The procession to the dedication service was a bit unusual. Nehemiah appointed “two great choirs that gave thanks” (Neh 12:31). It seems these choirs were created just for this purpose, which says a lot about the importance of their work!
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The Fight of My Life: Why I Failed During the Time of Greatest Trial
Our great hope is certain; Christ will return to set the world to rights, such that there will be no more suffering. Our great joy is ever at hand; this same Christ offers to walk the path of suffering with us in the here-and-now, empathizing and fighting on our behalf.
During the last three years, I was engaged in the fight of my life—concerning depression—and I failed in significant ways. I had endured an extended depressive episode earlier in life, but in retrospect, had not learned the lessons from that episode that I should have learned. Thus, in my more recent episode, I was not prepared.
As I have noted in other places, my latest depressive episode (“On Not Wanting to Live but Not Wanting to Die”) involved some complicating factors some of which I could not control (PTSD) and some of which I should have (alcohol abuse, disconnection from God, and relationships with family and friends). In the face of those complicating factors, God offered to me all of the resources I needed to respond properly spiritually. And yet, in significant ways, increasingly over the two-year period, I did not.
In the hopes that a brief chronicle of my own failures might help other depressed persons in the midst of their own struggles, I will: (1) set the stage by explaining the greatest challenge I faced and how I failed to meet the challenge; and subsequently (2) provide three suggestions that might help other depressed persons meet their challenges better than I did.
An Indomitable Opponent
During my most recent depressive episode, I faced my long-time opponent in a way I had never experienced. During the course of my life, he had stalked me and taken advantage of my weaknesses. I thought I had seen all of his weapons and was relatively unafraid of his tactics. But I was wrong, fatally wrong, to underestimate him.
Today, I realize to a much fuller extent what Scripture means when it declares that the Evil One is like a predator lying await in the tall grass, ready to pounce (1 Pet 5:8). He is never more in pursuit than when we are wounded and suffering. That is because he knows that a Christian’s experience of suffering is the single greatest opportunity for him or her to declare that Christ is a greater treasure than any other thing that life could give or that suffering could take away.
The Evil One is not only like a patient and powerful predator, but also like a con man. He masquerades as somebody good (2 Cor 11:14). He is the most cunning liar the world has ever known (Jn 8:44). His lies have many variations—white lies, big lies, rationalizations, exaggerations, minimizing, changing the topic, etc. But his lies always have one theme: God cannot be trusted and he cannot deliver on his promises.
Thus, given the formidable nature of my foe—the world’s greatest predator and conman whose intent is to murder—I failed precisely because I resorted increasingly to my own means. In the face of difficult challenges, and without my prayers being answered the way I demanded, I slowly and unconsciously gave up the fight. I lived as if I did not trust God and as if he could not or would not deliver on his promises.
Instead, I should have wielded the weapons at my disposal—weapons given by God and detailed in Scripture. Among those weapons that I did not wield sufficiently or well are three: Remembrance, Daily Ritual, and Perseverance.
The Weapon of Remembrance
As a depressed person, I allowed myself to forget many truths about the God I serve and the world in which I live because I allowed depression to “curve me” in on myself. Yet, everywhere in Scripture, God instructs his people to remember his mighty acts, his unsurpassable love, his impeccable wisdom, and his longsuffering patience. If we will remember God’s deeds of the past, we will be better prepared when trials arise. This command to “remember” is inescapably connected to another oft-repeated divine instruction: Listen to the word of the Lord. Indeed, one of the most significant ways to remember God’s goodness is to attend to the story of God told in Scripture.
How does this help us during trials and temptation? Consider an analogy:
Theologian N.T. Wright is famous for suggesting that the Christian mission can be compared to a theater improvisation. Suppose a lost Shakespearean play were to be unearthed, containing a five-act structure but missing the fifth act. In this hypothetical scenario, the first four acts provide well-defined movements, rich character development, and a clear narrative trajectory.
Thus, with the fifth act lost, how can the play be staged in a theater? It would seem inappropriate to write a definitive fifth act that would freeze the play into a form that Shakespeare might not have intended or could have written more superbly. Instead, it seems more appropriate to give the key parts of the play to highly-trained, deeply-committed, and well-seasoned Shakespearian actors, who could immerse themselves in the first four acts of the play and then—to the best of their abilities—work out a fifth act for themselves.
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