Written by Derek J. Brown |
Saturday, April 20, 2024
Those of us who tend toward introspection will, in most cases, also tend toward pulling away from people. Conversely, a proactive love toward others—family members, friends, neighbors, and enemies—is a powerful weapon against an unhealthy preoccupation with our inner life. Love is considered the distinguishing mark of the Christian.

The following is a response to an email I received a while ago. A dear brother contacted me and asked me if I could expand on an entry I had posted. Specifically, he wanted to know if and how the Lord had helped me make progress in dealing with unhealthy introspective tendencies and spiritual depression. Below is the letter with a few slight edits for clarity.  
Dear Friend,
Thank you again for your email. An inclination toward severe introspection and spiritual depression is something that has affected me since early in my Christian life, and I still find myself battling introspective tendencies and spiritual depression.
When I first came to Christ, I noticed immediately that I tended toward a severe examination of my inner life—my motives, my affections for God and for others, my faith in Christ, my holiness. Far from bringing me peace and assurance in my relationship with Christ, this propensity to question every inner-working of my heart instead brought much doubt, confusion and, inevitably, depression.
Yet, I can say that, by God’s grace, I have made significant progress in this area. As I reflect on the past several years, I can see specific means of grace that God has used to help me turn from an unhealthy preoccupation with self and sin—with the depression that inevitably follows—to a growing focus on the gospel and others. The following are several disciplines I have found to be particularly helpful in my fight against what Martin Lloyd Jones calls “morbid introspection” and the resultant spiritual depression.
A few words, first, about the following points. First, it is important to remember that overcoming introspective tendencies does not mean that we are to disregard all forms of self-examination. Sober-minded, thoughtful, doctrinally informed self-examination is required for believers (2 Cor. 13:5), and is, when conducted correctly, a means of real joy and peace.
Second, the following list includes those things I have found to be beneficial to me. It is a personal list. I hope and trust that much of what I offer here is grounded in Scripture. Nevertheless, it will be important for you to not receive this as an infallible map to spiritual health but rather as helpful suggestions as you continue to walk daily with the Lord, learning from his Word and from other counselors.
The first point (a robust understanding of the gospel), however, lays the foundation for everything else. Without this important point, our battle against morbid introspection and depression will malfunction at a fundamental level. With those two cautions in mind, let’s turn to considering the following points.
1. We need a robust understanding of the gospel.
I put this first because it is the most important. I have found that my tendency toward severe introspection is compounded to the degree that I am not seeing the gospel in all its beauty and doctrinal fullness. Specifically, this has meant understanding and embracing the important doctrines of justification, sanctification, and indwelling sin.
Justification: Scripture teaches that justification is the act of God by which he declares us wholly forgiven and righteous in his sight and on the basis of Christ’s perfect life and substitutionary death on the cross (Rom. 3:21-26; 5:1; 8:1), not upon any work that we have done or will do (Rom. 4:5; II Tim. 1:9; Tit. 3:4-7). This declaration is based solely on the work of Christ and his righteousness which God credits to our account; it is not based upon the righteousness the Holy Spirit works inside of us once he regenerates our hearts.
Nor is faith our righteousness; faith is only the instrument by which we receive the gift of righteousness—a righteousness wrought by Jesus Christ and him alone. This declaration of justification by God occurs at the moment the sinner puts genuine faith in Christ (Rom. 4:5; 5:1) and cannot be undone (Rom. 8:33-39), since it is a work God planned from all eternity (Rom. 8:29-30).
Sanctification: Sanctification is the gradual work of the Holy Spirit in our lives by which he cleanses our hearts from sin, purifies our affections and desires, and makes us more like Jesus Christ. This aspect of our sanctification is often referred to as progressive sanctification. There are several important truths about sanctification that I have found to be particularly helpful in my battle with unhealthy introspection.
First, whether one currently feels like it or not, when they placed saving faith in Jesus Christ, they died to the dominion of sin in their hearts and lives (Rom. 6:6-11). This is called definitive sanctification. Scripture does not say that we have to die continually to the dominion of sin in our lives; it says we already died to sin’s dominion when we trusted in Christ: sin no longer has dominion over us and it never will. This does not mean that genuine Christians will not sin! True saints can and do sin; sometimes even grievously. But what it does mean is that true Christians are not held sway by sin the same way they once were.
Second, our right standing with God is not based on our level of progressive sanctification; our right standing with God is based only on Christ’s life and work on the cross. This is an important distinction to make. Romans 4:5 tells us that God justifies the ungodly. This means that we are in right standing with God on the basis of Christ’s work on our behalf and our union with him by faith, and not on the progress we have made in sanctification. If we are confused here, we can never have any real confidence in our standing with God.
If we think our right standing with God is based in any way upon the progress we have made in personal holiness, we will despair when we commit sin or when our affections are not where they should be. Justification and sanctification cannot be separated—when justification occurs, sanctification inevitably follows—but they must be kept distinct in our overall understanding of salvation.
Indwelling Sin: Understanding what Scripture teaches about indwelling sin is particularly important for those of us who tend toward intense scrutiny of our hearts. If we think sin has been utterly eradicated at our conversion, the only logical conclusion we can draw when we find sin in our lives is that we have not been converted, a conclusion which typically leads to more despair and depression. On the other hand, if we recognize that sin, although it no longer holds dominion over us, is still powerfully active and pervasive in our hearts and that our responsibility is to kill this indwelling sin by the power of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:13), then we will not despair when we find sin in our lives—we will do battle against it.
One of the most helpful discoveries I have made is the truth that the sinful flesh, though not dominating me as it once did, is still alive and active (sometimes powerfully so!) and must be mortified.
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Keeping our children in church every Sunday is HARD. It is hard being the only adult able to correct and train on a weekly basis. It is hard to constantly be leaving service to discipline a toddler and continually coming back in. It is hard, but it is so worth it. There is no better use of my time than to teach our children the importance of corporate worship together.

We had the privilege of worshipping with some friends last Sunday. Jacob team preaches with another faithful pastor, meaning from time to time we as a family get to travel and be visitors with other churches we otherwise wouldn’t ever get to see. It is always such a privilege and a treat when we get to worship together as a whole family in the pew. Since becoming a Pastor’s wife, I will never again take for granted the entire family sitting together during worship. But this post isn’t about that. This post is about giving thanks for what I observed in our children during this service. Our children have been sitting through church services for their whole life. They are used to sitting through a worship service. Services are often interactive, including singing together, responsive readings, prayer and a sermon. Whenever we attend another church, we have the same, if not higher, expectations than on a regular Sunday. This past Sunday we asked a lot of our kids ages 2, 5, 8 and 11.  They have amazed us in the past in their ability to be flexible to various orders of service and to learn from God’s Word from a multitude of different preachers.
Last Sunday was one of those days.  We asked them to wake extra early so we could drive a little over an hour to a friend’s church. We then asked them to sit quietly during the entire service, which was different from what they were used to. A wonderful service, but different. We then asked them to eat quietly at a table and play calmly while we had lunch at the church with some friends. Unfortunately, due to the weather we were unable to play outside, which was the original hope. We asked a lot of our children and they exceeded our expectations in a new environment. 
Children Can’t Sit Long
Thinking back on the worship service, I had several reasons to give thanks. Our normal Sunday service runs about 1 hour and 10 minutes. There are ample times when the children are active, responsive, up and down participating through singing and reading. We allow them to bring a notebook and pen, or a small toy for the younger ones, to use during the sermon to help keep their hands occupied and ears open. This week, I forgot to grab our church notebooks. A Big mistake! Or so I thought until we arrived at church. Again, our children surprised me! They were perfectly fine listening to the sermon without their notebooks. Not only did they sit quietly (well, all but the toddler) but they sat through a service that was 1.5 hours. An extra 20 minutes longer than they are used to. They were friendly and interactive with those who sat around us. And despite not knowing many of the songs included in the service, they began to sing along on the 2nd or 3rd verse as best they could.
So why am I telling you this? It is not to brag about our kids, or to brag about our parenting. It is to brag about God. To brag about the goodness of His Word. To brag about the all captivating Word that he speaks to all ages. I often hear parents, grandparents and well meaning friends say that children can not sit through the worship service. I hear that children are too young to sit still for that long. That they are not able to understand the sermon. The word of God written in Scripture is above their heads. We hear that children must have the story retold in an easier way. How foolish can we be to insinuate that the Word of God is too hard for our children? That we, sinful creatures can take the word of God and minimize it for our children. That we know better than God. It’s insulting to God and proves our selfish, sinful, conceited attitudes. 
Many children in our western culture have been told they can’t sit in worship. They have been led to believe that the Bible is too difficult for them to understand. That there are only certain stories worth learning about. Why these stories? Because some believe kids can only learn the “fun stories of scripture.” Children are taught about Jericho falling down, but are they taught about Joshua, Rahab, or Moses? Are they taught why the walls of Jericho needed to fall down? Are they taught of the victory of God in fulfilling His great promises to His people? Are they taught how destructive and devastating sin is? Are they exposed to the ultimate reality of God’s wrath against His enemies? Are they told of the grace of God in Christ? Are they taught about the significance of the return of
What Are Children Being Taught in “Kids Church”
For us at Redeeming Family, we desire (as do many who serve the church by volunteering with children’s ministry programs) to see the lambs brought to the great shepherd Jesus. Often the confusion we experience surrounding children’s ministry isn’t about motive, it is about method.
From our observations through years of participating and volunteering in a variety of capacities in multiple churches, the content of “kids church” is often lacking at best, and counterproductive at worst. Children might be taught that Jesus was a good man (rather than the God-Man) who died for them to save them from their sins. But are they taught the consequences of their sin?
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Rolling up his coat-sleeve, and placing his bare wrist on the platform rail, he said, in tones solemn and awful, “Brethren, I would sooner have had this right hand severed from my body than that this should have happened.”
Spurgeon knew that the fall of a minister brought great shame to the church and the witness of the gospel. He would rather be maimed than to see such spiritual harm brought to God’s people. So even as he devoted himself to training pastors, Spurgeon urged his students again and again: Fight for personal holiness.
A Higher Standard of Holiness
If you’ve been in ministry for any period of time, you know that there are particular temptations that come from being in that position. Listen to Spurgeon on this:
Upon the whole, no place is so assailed with temptation as the ministry. Despite the popular idea that ours is a snug retreat from temptation, it is no less true that our dangers are more numerous and more insidious than those of ordinary Christians. Ours may be a vantage-ground for height, but that height is perilous, and to many the ministry has proved a Tarpeian rock. If you ask what these temptations are, time might fail us to particularize them; … your own observation will soon reveal to you a thousand snares, unless indeed your eyes are blinded.
In the face of temptations, whether in public or in private, pastors must fight for holiness. They have to maintain a clear conscience before God in all that they do. And yet the call here is not for ordinary holiness, which we would want for all the members of our churches. Instead, there is a higher level of holiness that all ministers should aspire to and attain. Spurgeon writes,
The highest moral character must be sedulously maintained. Many are disqualified for office in the church who are well enough as simple members… Holiness in a minister is at once his chief necessity and his goodliest ornament. Mere moral excellence is not enough, there must be the higher virtue.
To be sure, it’s a wonderful gift to be simply a member of a church in good standing. But just because you are a church member, that doesn’t mean qualify you to lead the church. Rather, pastors are to be an example to the flock, as Peter writes, and this includes your character and spiritual life. You must be an example in your holiness.
The Pastor’s Many Temptations
So what does this look like? Well, you’ll notice in the previous quote, Spurgeon didn’t want to list out all the temptations in the ministry, because there are thousands of them, I’m sure. But in one of his lectures, Spurgeon does give his students a list of things to watch out for, even seemingly “small sins.”
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