Light of the World, Come
The light of Christ radically changes our lives, without a doubt. But there’s more: it also equips us to help those still in the dark catacombs of rebellion in which we once walked. As the prophet Isaiah says, “I will appoint you to be a covenant for the people and a light to the nations, in order to open blind eyes, to bring out prisoners from the dungeon, and those sitting in darkness from the prison house” (Isaiah 42:6–7).
Unless you’re a cat burglar, a cave bat, or a deep-sea creature, you no doubt function far better in the light than in the dark. We were made to live in the light, both in a literal and spiritual sense.
The Bible often presents darkness symbolically as—at its worst—evil and walking in rebellion against God, or—at minimum—as a less-than-ideal spiritual situation. Things have been this way since the opening verses of Scripture, where Genesis 1:2 says, “Now the earth was formless and empty, [and] darkness covered the surface of the watery depths.” This was not how God was going to leave things.
To remedy the situation, God could have said many things. What He did not say was, “Let there be TikTok,” “pickleball,” or “a venti iced chai tea latte with two pumps of brown sugar, one pump of vanilla, and some sweet cold foam cream topped with caramel drizzle.” Instead, He said, “Let there be light” (v.3). The result? “God saw that the light was good” (v.4). Before populating the earth with His image-bearers, God filled the bleak void with His light.
Throughout Scripture, the light versus darkness motif continues to appear.
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Report on the 49th PCA General Assembly
Overtures 15 & 29: Strengthening Character Requirements for Ordination. The Assembly voted by a wide margin to amend BCO Chapter 16 to clarifying that officers, “…must affirm the sinfulness of fallen desires, the reality and hope of progressive sanctification, and be committed to the pursuit of Spirit-empowered victory over their sinful temptations, inclinations, and actions” (Overture 29)… To amend BCO Chapter 7 to include the following language: “Men who describe themselves as homosexual, even those who describe themselves as homosexual and claim to practice celibacy by refraining from homosexual conduct, are disqualified from holding office in the Presbyterian Church in America” (Overture 15).
While not clearly a watershed the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA), great strides were made to strengthen confessional integrity and biblical fidelity.
This year the Presbyterian Church in America met for her 49th General Assembly in Birmingham, Ala. Overall this Assembly was productive, and we accomplished many of the items on my “wishlist” for the PCA. Here are a few of the highlights.
I. Worship & Election of the Moderator
Each year the Assembly begins with a service of worship in which the retiring moderator (i.e., last year’s moderator) customarily preaches a sermon. This year TE Roy Taylor delivered his address based on Matt. 16:5-12, (“The Leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees”) in which he gave a lengthy history of the Pharisee and Sadducee movements. He warned against the extremes represented by each of those historic factions: we must neither withdraw from the culture nor acquiesce to the culture; we must neither subtract from the Word of God nor add to it. He urged the PCA not to become a rigid, ingrown, in-fighting, ineffectual denomination.
Following the close of the service, the Assembly reconvened for the purpose of electing a moderator. Two faithful men who were both excellent candidates were put forward: Ruling Elders John Bise from Huntsville, Ala., and Melton Duncan from Greenville, SC. Both nominating speeches were a blessing to hear and especially TE Reeder’s speech in which he gave a glorious, yet brief summary of God’s saving work in the gospel. John Bise was elected by the Assembly to be our moderator this year, and he navigated us through the business very well.
II. The National Association of Evangelicals (NAE)
After vigorous debate, the Assembly voted by 60% to withdraw from the NAE. Some estimates suggest this will save the PCA in excess of $50,000 annually.
A. Arguments in Favor of Remaining in the NAE
The PCA was a long-time member of the NAE. Those arguing in favor of remaining insisted membership in the NAE gives us a national voice yet costs only as much as a part time assistant pastor, allows us to follow the biblical examples of Joseph and Esther who worked inside pagan governments, enables us to cooperate with other Christians, and allegedly gives the PCA credibility because the NAE logo is the “gold standard” among evangelical organizations.
B. Arguments in Favor of Withdrawing from the NAE
Those advocating departure had three main reasons. First, the PCA General Assembly is competent to speak for herself; she does not need a parachurch to do her bidding. Second, membership in the NAE is expensive and therefore not wise stewardship. Third, because the NAE presumes to speak for her member organizations, the PCA’s membership violates our convictions regarding Christian liberty by forcing PCA members, congregations, and presbyteries to be associated with the NAE and its pronouncements on gun control, abortion, sexuality, economics, etc.
III. Elections for Permanent Committees
This year’s Nominating Committee (NC) worked diligently to present a slate of men who would guide the PCA Agencies well for the next term (until 2026). The Assembly seemed to give its strong endorsement to the work of the NC this year as the vast majority of those put forward by the NC were elected.
One vote was especially close. In the election for Covenant College (CC) Board of Trustees, TE Omari Hill prevailed over TE W. Gregory Marshall by a mere four votes (717-713). It is also noteworthy that three of the men who sided with Missouri Presbytery (MOP) in “Speck 2” (i.e., MOP’s investigation of TE Greg Johnson) were not re-elected to the Standing Judicial Commission (SJC).
IV. Committee on Constitutional Business (CCB)
The minutes (proceedings) of the SJC must be reviewed by the CCB each year to ensure the SJC proceedings are conducted properly. This year two of the eight elders on the committee asserted the SJC had violated its own operating procedures when it took the unprecedented step to re-open and add to the “record of the case” related to MOP’s investigation of TE Greg Johnson. Normally in such cases the SJC simply assesses the procedures and actions of a lower court.
These two elders attempted to submit a “minority report” to give the Assembly the opportunity to determine whether the actions of the SJC in this case were in error. The Moderator, however, ruled that unlike other committees of the General Assembly, a minority on the CCB has no right to submit a report for the Assembly’s consideration. The CCB apparently is the only committee in the PCA able to “deliberate upon and conclude the business” assigned to it.
The moderator’s ruling (sustained by a vote of 53-47%) was disappointing as I believe the SJC erred in the way it conducted that particular case.
V. Selected Overtures
A. Overture 8: Simplifying Oversight & Original Jurisdiction
There are currently two instances (summarized here) in which a group of presbyteries have requested the SJC take over a case from a lower court. The current language in the Book of Church Order (BCO) permits two or more presbyteries to request the SJC to assume original jurisdiction over a case if the lower court “refuses to act” (note: there is parallel language for cases involving Sessions within a Presbytery). But it is difficult to determine what “refuses to act” means. Does it mean “fails to investigate” or “fails to investigate thoroughly” or “fails to indict” or something different entirely?
The new language increases the number of courts (Presbyteries or Sessions) that must make a request for it to be valid, but gives less discretion to the higher court regarding whether to take the case: if the lower court has failed to bring charges in a matter of doctrine or public scandal and the required number of lower courts request it to do so, the higher court must take up the matter itself.
B. Overture 13: Calling Public Officials to Repent of Abortion
The Assembly directed the Stated Clerk to send a letter to our national leaders containing the following language:
…We who love our nation, in the name of God who alone is sovereign, call upon you to renounce the sin of abortion, to repent of the complicity in the mass slaughter of innocent unborn children, who are persons in the sight of God, and to reverse the ruinous direction of both law and practice in this area…
This was adopted unanimously by our General Assembly one day before the SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v. Wade was announced. While we rejoice at the SCOTUS decision that will allow the several states to regulate the slaughter of unborn children, we must continue to pray for the complete abolition of “Abortion” in this Republic and throughout the world.
C. Overtures 15 & 29: Strengthening Character Requirements for Ordination
The Assembly voted by a wide margin to amend BCO Chapter 16 to clarifying that officers,
…must affirm the sinfulness of fallen desires, the reality and hope of progressive sanctification, and be committed to the pursuit of Spirit-empowered victory over their sinful temptations, inclinations, and actions (Overture 29).
There were a few arguments against this language; they were largely centered on what was not being said rather than what was stated (e.g. no affirmation that God loves gay people).
By a much more narrow margin, the Assembly voted to amend BCO Chapter 7 to include the following language:
Men who describe themselves as homosexual, even those who describe themselves as homosexual and claim to practice celibacy by refraining from homosexual conduct, are disqualified from holding office in the Presbyterian Church in America (Overture 15).
There were a great many arguments against this language asserting it was too specific or that it was being inserted in the wrong place in our BCO.
I am grateful this language is here as it enables us to clarify our character requirements for ordained officers in a time of societal crisis on this matter. Because of confusion even in some church courts, I believe our BCO must instruct very clearly and with great specificity in this area to the courts conducting officer-candidate examinations.
The Church has been troubled by those who mistake and confuse celibacy versus chastity, worldliness versus winsomeness, and “take up your cross” versus “live your life.” So we must be clear we understand the standard of holiness the scripture teaches is manifested in those whom Christ calls to serve His bride.
Some of the arguments against the proposed language of Overture 15 asserted it would drive away those who struggle with unnatural affections. But we must remember this language defines officer qualifications and not membership requirements.
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Tears for the National Partnership™
There is a profound and disturbing conundrum humming in the background of these eight years and many emails: the secrecy of the majority. By repeated assertion and articulated reasoning, these emails show a small group of officers claiming to stand for the majority in our communion. Their discussion manifests a concern to ensure that the majority view in the denomination is not slighted by the vigorous efforts of minority positions– views purportedly unrepresentative of the majority among us.
The Other Side?
I did not know much beyond the name National Partnership, though I have heard frequent references over these last several years. I had one very disturbing exchange with one of the big-name-round-there brothers. It didn’t tell me anything about the NP, but it resonated with the dark characterizations I saw tagged on to NP. This brother quickly deduced from my criticism of an article on progressivism in the PCA that I preached another gospel. Yep, the Godwin’s law of industry presbyterianism from reading my piece in literally three pairs of DM’s.
I have an extended family member who is given to strong, hard, out of the blue statements. I taught high school with some wonderful students with the wild angles that can show up “on the spectrum”. I didn’t conclude that the fellow was a wingnut. When he said he would pray for me, he clearly put it on his calendar for the next two weeks; he DM’ed me to say he was praying for me. I had to decide to set aside the dark characterizations, but it wasn’t hard. This brother had nothing to do with anything connected to me, and he conducted himself with a balance of admirable and first-blush-odd. I am not a standard to score people on odd.
Then along came Presbyleaks, or NatPartnergate or the We Got Owned Scandal. The National Partnership emails (or some portion?) from 2013-2021 were . . . forwarded, leaked, stolen, made available? Yes, I read them. I was told and discovered them to be entirely concerned with the business of my church’s General Assembly. Barring a few out of order characterizations of individuals, they contained little that could not be stated on the floor of presbytery; nevertheless, it is obvious that much of the diction and most of the substance would never be voiced aloud in that setting. It was a bit like a transcript of a football team watching the films of the upcoming opponents and preparing for the big game week after week. Who would they keep out of that room? The only people who shouldn’t be in on the discussion are the other side. The other side.
I overheard a lot of things about the National Partnership. As they say, I didn’t have the receipts. I didn’t even have a reason to go looking for receipts. I’m a nobody Ass. Pastor, more than occupied with life in arm’s reach. I heard all sorts of stuff about the NP. I didn’t disagree because I was too ignorant. I couldn’t agree with the references to names and events, but I followed the grammar and the logic. If X, Y, Z, then the characterizations were not clearly intemperate or hyperbolic. What is the National Partnership?
I guess the National Partnership™ didn’t want to tell me. I never was invited, which is their vestibule. It looks like someone who knew and had eight years of receipts wanted to tell me. When they did tell me (whoever they may be), they did it with nothing but receipts: the National Partnership is the Other Side. They don’t want me and mine and maybe similar to know what they are doing to win this game. They want to defeat whatever will stop them from winning this game. They don’t want to break the rules. They place a premium on good sportsmanship on the field. Of course, they don’t consider this just a game. This is about the kingdom of God, the gospel in the world, the future of the church. It is far more serious than any sports metaphor, and that’s why they aren’t letting the Other Side in on their activity and resources and goals.
There are men in the mix whom I have known for some time. There are men with whom I have long differed yet still cherish. There are men whom I admire, though they confuse me. The whole mix of men weighs on me. The whole mundane careful counting of National Partnership members, and National Partnership Presbyteries and National Partnership commissioners on Overtures, Review of Presbytery Records, Administration– the banal listing month after month nauseates me. I didn’t know this was going on, I’m not utterly shocked, but I just want to weep.
Men dear to me have been nodding along with all this: repeated mention of this small group speaking for the majority, an annual urgency of ensuring that the denomination’s true identity is represented faithfully by as much NP representation as possible on denominational committees, the obliviously counterpointing leitmotifs sounding so cacophonous when paired– unity in open-mindedness and exclusivity in secrecy.
The Voice of the Spirit without Continuing Revelation?
I have an elevated view of Christ’s reign in his church, one which exalts each officer to be unimpressed with himself and unconcerned with accomplishing his own will. Hubris about our goals is just as ugly as hubris about our persons. That is why several power exists only within the parameters of joint power. Joint power in church courts rests on the belief that these officers are each full of the Spirit, well instructed from the Scriptures and appointed by the Lord Jesus to wield his authority. The lowest, least and even lacking presbyter is unquestionably so invested– unless some members start determining who is actually legitimate, pretending that as individuals or as a faction we wield something of greater import than the Spiritual power culminating in the joint power of the court.
Just such an elevation– ugly presumption and hubris pregnant with harm– is what happens when a faction of officers conclude that they speak for the majority or the purity of the court. Only the living God– the Spirit within and the Father who searches hearts– can report on the majority without resorting to some kind of vote. One can contend for the purity of the church; however, one cannot do this by under the radar implementation– even incrementally. You must contend to inform and invigorate consciences. If you win enough votes else wise, even purported purity cannot be foisted on the church without doing her violence.
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I Thought I Was Saving Trans Kids. Now I’m Blowing the Whistle.
Some critics describe the kind of treatment offered at places like the Transgender Center where I worked as a kind of national experiment. But that’s wrong. Experiments are supposed to be carefully designed. Hypotheses are supposed to be tested ethically. The doctors I worked alongside at the Transgender Center said frequently about the treatment of our patients: “We are building the plane while we are flying it.” No one should be a passenger on that kind of aircraft.
I am a 42-year-old St. Louis native, a queer woman, and politically to the left of Bernie Sanders. My worldview has deeply shaped my career. I have spent my professional life providing counseling to vulnerable populations: children in foster care, sexual minorities, the poor.
For almost four years, I worked at The Washington University School of Medicine Division of Infectious Diseases with teens and young adults who were HIV positive. Many of them were trans or otherwise gender nonconforming, and I could relate: Through childhood and adolescence, I did a lot of gender questioning myself. I’m now married to a transman, and together we are raising my two biological children from a previous marriage and three foster children we hope to adopt.
All that led me to a job in 2018 as a case manager at The Washington University Transgender Center at St. Louis Children’s Hospital, which had been established a year earlier.
The center’s working assumption was that the earlier you treat kids with gender dysphoria, the more anguish you can prevent later on. This premise was shared by the center’s doctors and therapists. Given their expertise, I assumed that abundant evidence backed this consensus.
During the four years I worked at the clinic as a case manager—I was responsible for patient intake and oversight—around a thousand distressed young people came through our doors. The majority of them received hormone prescriptions that can have life-altering consequences—including sterility.
I left the clinic in November of last year because I could no longer participate in what was happening there. By the time I departed, I was certain that the way the American medical system is treating these patients is the opposite of the promise we make to “do no harm.” Instead, we are permanently harming the vulnerable patients in our care.
Today I am speaking out. I am doing so knowing how toxic the public conversation is around this highly contentious issue—and the ways that my testimony might be misused. I am doing so knowing that I am putting myself at serious personal and professional risk.
Almost everyone in my life advised me to keep my head down. But I cannot in good conscience do so. Because what is happening to scores of children is far more important than my comfort. And what is happening to them is morally and medically appalling.
The Floodgates Open
Soon after my arrival at the Transgender Center, I was struck by the lack of formal protocols for treatment. The center’s physician co-directors were essentially the sole authority.
At first, the patient population was tipped toward what used to be the “traditional” instance of a child with gender dysphoria: a boy, often quite young, who wanted to present as—who wanted to be—a girl.
Until 2015 or so, a very small number of these boys comprised the population of pediatric gender dysphoria cases. Then, across the Western world, there began to be a dramatic increase in a new population: Teenage girls, many with no previous history of gender distress, suddenly declared they were transgender and demanded immediate treatment with testosterone.
I certainly saw this at the center. One of my jobs was to do intake for new patients and their families. When I started there were probably 10 such calls a month. When I left there were 50, and about 70 percent of the new patients were girls. Sometimes clusters of girls arrived from the same high school.
This concerned me, but didn’t feel I was in the position to sound some kind of alarm back then. There was a team of about eight of us, and only one other person brought up the kinds of questions I had. Anyone who raised doubts ran the risk of being called a transphobe.
The girls who came to us had many comorbidities: depression, anxiety, ADHD, eating disorders, obesity. Many were diagnosed with autism, or had autism-like symptoms. A report last year on a British pediatric transgender center found that about one-third of the patients referred there were on the autism spectrum.
Frequently, our patients declared they had disorders that no one believed they had. We had patients who said they had Tourette syndrome (but they didn’t); that they had tic disorders (but they didn’t); that they had multiple personalities (but they didn’t).
The doctors privately recognized these false self-diagnoses as a manifestation of social contagion. They even acknowledged that suicide has an element of social contagion. But when I said the clusters of girls streaming into our service looked as if their gender issues might be a manifestation of social contagion, the doctors said gender identity reflected something innate.
To begin transitioning, the girls needed a letter of support from a therapist—usually one we recommended—who they had to see only once or twice for the green light. To make it more efficient for the therapists, we offered them a template for how to write a letter in support of transition. The next stop was a single visit to the endocrinologist for a testosterone prescription.
That’s all it took.
When a female takes testosterone, the profound and permanent effects of the hormone can be seen in a matter of months. Voices drop, beards sprout, body fat is redistributed. Sexual interest explodes, aggression increases, and mood can be unpredictable. Our patients were told about some side effects, including sterility. But after working at the center, I came to believe that teenagers are simply not capable of fully grasping what it means to make the decision to become infertile while still a minor.
Side Effects
Many encounters with patients emphasized to me how little these young people understood the profound impacts changing gender would have on their bodies and minds. But the center downplayed the negative consequences, and emphasized the need for transition. As the center’s website said, “Left untreated, gender dysphoria has any number of consequences, from self-harm to suicide. But when you take away the gender dysphoria by allowing a child to be who he or she is, we’re noticing that goes away. The studies we have show these kids often wind up functioning psychosocially as well as or better than their peers.”
There are no reliable studies showing this. Indeed, the experiences of many of the center’s patients prove how false these assertions are.
Here’s an example. On Friday, May 1, 2020, a colleague emailed me about a 15-year-old male patient: “Oh dear. I am concerned that [the patient] does not understand what Bicalutamide does.” I responded: “I don’t think that we start anything honestly right now.”
Bicalutamide is a medication used to treat metastatic prostate cancer, and one of its side effects is that it feminizes the bodies of men who take it, including the appearance of breasts. The center prescribed this cancer drug as a puberty blocker and feminizing agent for boys. As with most cancer drugs, bicalutamide has a long list of side effects, and this patient experienced one of them: liver toxicity. He was sent to another unit of the hospital for evaluation and immediately taken off the drug. Afterward, his mother sent an electronic message to the Transgender Center saying that we were lucky her family was not the type to sue.
How little patients understood what they were getting into was illustrated by a call we received at the center in 2020 from a 17-year-old biological female patient who was on testosterone. She said she was bleeding from the vagina. In less than an hour she had soaked through an extra heavy pad, her jeans, and a towel she had wrapped around her waist. The nurse at the center told her to go to the emergency room right away.
We found out later this girl had had intercourse, and because testosterone thins the vaginal tissues, her vaginal canal had ripped open. She had to be sedated and given surgery to repair the damage. She wasn’t the only vaginal laceration case we heard about.
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